A Marriage Quest
by emeralddahlia
Summary: A quiet, young editor meets a brooding man hiding behind the façade of a charming entrepreneur and follows him into a mutual agreement. Follow them as they begin to accept their arrangement. Do marriages really last when hardships make it impossible to?AH
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**Warning: This story involves sexual abuse/rape that may be disturbing to some. I haven't written these scenes graphically, but they do seem to have a strong emotional impact on other readers. Please be prepared for this as you read ahead.**

**All twilight characters and plots belong to Stephanie Meyer. Please do not reproduce/translate this story's content without permission.**

**Thank you to Project team Beta members - kysouza3123 and Phoenixjedi for helping me with this chapter.**

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**Chapter 1 - Prologue**

Why is it that sometimes it feels as though your whole world comes down crashing on you? The phrase had never made any sense to me…but I could see it now.

I could see how life changes your perspective of things.

We were happy. Happy living in our own fantasy world, where the story ends with a happily ever after. Why can't it always continue that way - the princess and her prince in eternal bliss.

I knew now that fairy tales were not true. The abyss of pain always reared it's ugly head and I couldn't be the ice to sooth it. The bereft princess despaired over her wounded prince. My beautiful prince who was looking up at me with those defeated eyes.

A man who had lost everything, looking to me for solace, something I wished I could provide to him but I wasn't sure I had the strength for that.

We silently stared at each other saying more than we ever could with words.

_I need you….come to me_, he beckoned.

Carefully I stepped towards him, his eyes urging me on. He opened his arms for me, an invitation or a plea I don't know …. but it didn't matter. I bent down on my knees and came on level with his face. As though he couldn't stand the distance, he pulled me into his warm embrace. I hugged him back tightly, letting him hang on to me for dear life. A strangled sob escaped from his throat and I instinctively clutched him tighter. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled huge breaths as if trying to calm himself with my scent.

My eyes filled with tears as this weak man, _my man_, .more vulnerable than I had ever seen him, clinging to me as if any distance from me would kill him. So different from the man I had met 8 months ago at the art gallery. The confident, charming entrepreneur who had exuded a charismatic aura of power. It had just taken one look into those eyes and I was a goner.

Dragging myself to the present I painfully squeezed out "I am so sorry Edward." My voice thick with tears sounded hoarse.

He held me tighter as if acknowledging my words but remained silent.

Why? I questioned the forces in the heavens, what had we done to deserve all that came our way? I angrily glared at the ceiling, trying to keep my tears in check by gathering all the conviction I could from the heart beating in sync with mine.

So I did all I could…I held on to my husband as the sea of despair and loss washed over us, once again engulfing us and I let it because the damage was done. Once he had held me upright when I didn't have that conviction, now it was my turn. Kneeling on the cool granite, I made myself a promise….. I would keep my vows, God had decided to test my love and I sure as hell would get Edward and I through this even if it had to be the last thing I ever did.

Edward kissed my forehead softly. His warm, moist lips calming the tempest whirling through my mind.

"Thank you love," his velvety voice whispered. The melodic rhythm of his breaths made me close my eyes as I rested my head on the chest of the man I loved.

_We would get through this together, _I vowed and hugged him even tighter if it was possible.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Please review, I would love to know what you think of the story or where it is heading. Give it a chance and please do come back.**

**Follow me on twitter at emeralddahlia**

I will post the next chapter in the coming week. I am hoping for the story to get posted on . So as soon as I get the first chapter validated there I will post the next chapter. So long friends…


	2. Chapter 2 Vision Clash

Hi! Thank you to those of you who have read through the prologue. So 5 reviews….surely we can do better than that guys. A special thanks to all of those people who have reviewed. I have read your reviews at least 50 times and I am not exaggerating. I am keeping my fingers crossed for this chapter.

**I think I should warn you that this story does involve abuse. I don't want to dwell on this as it may give away too much of the story line. It won't be overbearing or graphic because trust me I don't enjoy it. But I love angsty and hurt/comfort stories and the topic is very important to the plot of the story. So just bear with me.**

So, here you go and please, please do let me know your thoughts (positive or negative). I do believe in constructive criticism and I think the reviewers always give the best input.

**A special thanks to the members of Project Team Beta who are helping me with my story. **The only reason this chapter is up here is because OTD673 and ilovenaley have taken the time to correct it. I make a lot of mistakes and they have devoted a lot of time to get it upright and have given me some great ideas. Thank you!

The story has a banner, my profile page has the link to it. Check it out! Here's the next chapter.

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**Chapter 2 – Vision Clash**

Blue, gray, dull yellow, and a lot of black stared back at me. I trailed my fingers along the swirls and waves, feeling the gritty texture of the exquisite painting that lay before my eyes. I was interested in how the boring colors blended together to create the vibrant hues of a classical dawn.

_Wished that was true for me…_

"Jazz..." Words failed me. "This is…. exceptional."

"Ya think? Or are you just playing nice?" Jasper wiggled his eyebrows. "I know exactly what you're trying to do. I may seem unsuspecting, but I am certainly not stupid," he said with a stern, no nonsense look. "Swan, you _are_ mowing my lawn, or have you already forgotten about all those free lunches I paid for?"

"Stop shying away. You, my friend, should be proud of yourself. I'd buy it if I could, but my meager income isn't going to get me this _beaux paysages _hanging in my apartment." Jasper's cheeks reddened, and I decided to harass him some more. "Are you blushing?"

"Cut it out, Swan…I'm warning you. I will make you mow my lawn for the rest of the summer if you continue embarrassing me."

"Pssst, Jazz, look behind you….Tinkerbell is here!" I snickered at how fast he whipped his head around to look at Alice, the fashion designer currently working with Rosalie, Jazz's ostentatious sister and struggling model. Jasper scuttled away to the statuesque opening of the Montesgue Art Galley.

I leaned back against the birch wood wall and watched the drama unfold. Jazz, visibly flustered and sweaty, jumped to greet Alice, awkwardly shaking her hand. She grinned up at him and folded him into a hug, kissing both his cheeks, leaving Jazz gaping at her like a love-sick puppy. The expression on his face morphed into a lazy, dreamy smile.

I held back a giggle, watching my best friend of fourteen years being so affected by a lady. I met Jazz in fourth grade when I was eight years old. He was new to Forks, and someone had spread the rumor that he had a generic case of the 'cooties.' Poor Jazz had ended up crying on a bench when all the girls freaked out. I had decided to introduce myself with a merely inquisitive statement. "I am Isabella Swan, daughter of Charlie Swan, who is the Chief of Police. My dad can arrest you if you give me cooties. Do you have them?" I had asked him, jutting my hand out boldly.

Jasper had looked up at me, baffled with tear-stained cheeks, before bursting into tears again. Figuring I had misbehaved, I sat down next to him and patted his back softly while he cried all day. We hit it off right away. He didn't seem to care that I didn't have a mom, the same way I didn't care how he had…ahem…cooties.

Isolated and quiet, we began to understand each other without saying much at all. Jazz was shy as a child, preferring to sit in a corner painting an illusion others failed to see. I don't know when exactly, but within a few weeks of his arrival, I sat huddled close to his side, with thick glasses on my face and my nose buried in a book. While our peers poked fun at us, it no longer seemed to matter, because soon enough, we became each other's advocates and protectors. We understood one another and saw the other far more clearly than anyone else could, because at some elemental level we connected in a way words couldn't describe.

The next few years flew by without a whisper. We moved to Seattle right after high school, where I started my bachelor degree in English, while Jazz struggled to come to terms with studying for a management degree. He finally gave up trying to satisfy his parents' wishes for his future, and set out to become an artist. His parents refused to help him pay his tuition for Seattle Ethéré Art Institute, which was a major blow. He was crushed, and it was horrific dragging my friend out of the self-pitying depression he had fallen into.

As of now, we were both twenty-two and rocking. I was working as an editor for an advertising firm, which published a weekly magazine called _Paixão _(Passion in Portuguese). It was a trendy magazine, focusing on health, lifestyle, and fashion. Jazz had set himself up in a cozy shop on the corner of our local coffee hangout spot. He wasn't exactly famous yet, more like surviving, but he was satisfied unlike the brooding Jasper of post-parental rejection.

My reminiscing was interrupted by a dainty little cough. I sighed and turned to face the wrath of Rosalie Hale. She was incredibly elegant, with a pretty little scowl and a flawless figure…how typical. Trying to muster up the most polite smile I could, I said "Hi, Rosalie!"

"Hello, Isabella," she said mockingly.

Sometimes I wondered what the hell her problem was. I had always been courteous, but she couldn't stand me. I would say she must be jealous of something, but I was nothing of substance; not beautiful, elegant, or graceful like her, but a gangly, ordinary, pale girl that had no sense of equilibrium.

"Isn't this the same dress you wore to the last exhibition?" she asked, scrutinizing my pale blue, knee-length, strapless dress.

My heart dropped to my stomach, as angry tears tried to make their way into my eyes. I wasn't as rich as her family, and this was my only decent dress. I really wanted to look the best I could when Jazz introduced me to other artists. Was it a crime to wear the same dress twice? My dress wasn't like the elegant, red, silk dress she had donned; it was a simple, cotton dress with detailed, dark blue embroidery. I was in no mood to take Rosalie's bullshit, since I had made an effort to look good. I had put my hair up because Jazz liked it that way, and had my late grandma's small diamond studs in my ears.

"Was there something you needed, Rosalie?" I forced out.

"Yes, actually there was. Get me a drink. It can get so hot in Seattle in summer," she said, dramatically fanning herself.

_Rosalie, why consider modeling? You, my darling, are the perfect actress with your natural drama queen antics. I assure you there would be no struggles then…_

Taking it as an opportunity to leave, and to keep my emotions at bay, I said, "Sure, Rosalie."

I made my way to the waiter serving drinks, and directed him to Rosalie, who I noticed had some crazy, feathery scarf on. _My, my_, I thought, it _was_ warm in Seattle.

My blue stilettos were driving me nuts, and the straps were digging into my skin in a way that was sure to leave horrible red welts. As I bent down to relieve one of the pressure points, I lost my wonderful balance and toppled forward, my head going straight for a passing person's torso. We both crashed to the ground, with me on top of the unfortunate soul who had been subjected to my attack. In my befuddled state, I vaguely mused, '_T__hat sure was a rock hard stomach.'_

I lifted my head to look at the face of the person who had become the latest victim of my clumsiness.

All I saw were green eyes filled with fury, bronze eyebrows drawn together, and a chiseled mouth set in an angry, grim line. He was beautiful, and I couldn't stop looking at him. He was looking at me, as well. Well… he was kind of glaring at me, actually.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I knew I should have been feeling embarrassed, or should have made a move to get off him. But I couldn't. I was stunned and shocked as a forceful charge ran through an imaginary line between us. I was basking in the warmth of his breath on my cheek, when his voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I do hope you are planning on getting off me, or I shall have you forcefully removed."

His voice was so hypnotizing, velvety…..seductive. It was also quiet, melodic, and reverberated with masculinity. Realizing I had been gawking at him, I hurried and collected myself. Mortified, I apologized as I pulled myself away from his muscular body.

"I am so sorry," I said, while offering my hand for him to take. He ignored it, and lifted himself with grace I didn't know anyone could possess.

"You should be," he frowned, fixing his artfully fitted suit.

"Edward! Bella! You guys okay?"

I looked up to see a very jumpy Alice running towards us, with Jazz hot on her heels.

"Mr. Cullen, are you okay?"

_Hello to you, too, Jazz. In case you haven't noticed, your best friend fell over….traitor_.

Jazz took an apprehensive glance at my profile while he waited for an answer from this Cullen guy.

_Well, he did care... who would have thought! Sheesh, I'm honored!_

Jazz put his arm around me while the Cullen guy stiffly said, "I'm fine."

I noticed all the commotion around us and blushed. To escape from the disdainful scrutiny of the spectators, I kept my eyes on my stilettos.

_So much for making an impression..._

I glanced up to see the green-eyed man staring at me inquisitively. He quickly turned his head away at the same time I did, my face was burning with embarrassment. Jazz led me away from the crowd and got me seated on a nearby couch.

"You okay? You gave me quite a scare! You sure choose your victims carefully," he grinned playfully.

"Shut up, coots," I smiled back, relieved he wasn't upset because of my disaster.

Jazz's grin widened, and he shook his head as he disappeared into the crowd. I nursed my feet by removing the stilettos and wiggling my toes. I wasn't aware that someone had sat down next to me until I was pleasantly interrupted by a velvety chuckle.

"You've done quite a number on your feet, haven't you? Stilettos don't seem to keep you pleasant company. You might want to give a fair warning to a passerby next time."

I looked up to see the crooked smile of the Cullen guy. Idiotically, I smiled back. Seems like I'm more like Jasper than I care to admit; all flustered and jittery in front of Mr. Cullen. Indeed, an idealistic reflection of Jazz's hassled state around Alice.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't hurt you. If it's any consolation, I was forced to wear the shoes."

"No problem. I'm sorry as well. My behavior was reprehensible. That was no way to treat a lady. I'm Edward Cullen, by the way."

"Bella Swan, and it's fine. I deserved it."

I extended my hand for a handshake, but he took it and kissed the back instead. His lips were so soft and warm. I wanted to reach out and touch them again, maybe with my own lips. I closed my eyes as I felt a fluttering deep inside my body. The static whizzing through the air was only a sensual touch, but the caress of his lips lit my body up like a live wire…

_Really Bella? Live wire?  
_

I halted my diverging thoughts, trying to stop the electrical hum from drowning me. I looked up to see him smirking at me_. _

_Oh God, what is it with this guy?_

I looked down and blushed, embarrassed at being caught. He lightly brushed his fingers on my chin, coercing me to raise my face. My sensitized skin bloomed under the musical whispers of his fingers.

His touch was soft, hesitant, and almost apologetic. However, he was unaware of the desire unfurling within me, alerting my hyperactive senses of the danger this man posed. His touch had been light, yet it felt as if it had been engraved into the pores of my skin.

I raised my eyes shyly to meet his. He gazed at me with soft eyes, his expression a mixture of mere curiosity and...what? Attraction?

_Jazz is really rubbing off on me..._

"You have beautiful eyes," he said, his gaze sincere.

I suddenly found myself caught in a spell. A spell that wouldn't let me look away.

His hair were bronze, I noticed idly, not breaking eye contact. It stuck out in all directions, a typical 'bed head' but it added an air of familiarity; no gel or fancy hair cream, he was just…natural.

Despite being clean-shaven, bronze specks on his cheeks shone from the bright sunlight coming from the windows at the top of the walls.

I was unaware of the world around us, completely lost in this moment where I was attuned only to him. Then I felt it...

My connection with Jazz had started off with that spark. This experience was so much more... overwhelming. The voices of the crowd had faded away; my heart throbbed a song, a melody synchronizing with the soft wisps of his breath. I only heard that melody; again and again, it played in my ears, trying to tell me something. Its valleys and crests, highs and lows, ripples and pulses, intertwined to produce a poem that rhymed with the depth of emotion surfacing within me.

_It was unmistakable. It was beautiful. It was dangerous..._

Everything was strange. Electric. The air was alight with sparks. My heartbeat resonated in my ears…._thud…..thud….thud_. His gaze was unwavering, adoring, and cherishing. He looked at me as though it was the last time he would ever be able to, and he was trying to preserve every detail. And surprisingly, I was doing the same. He made me feel so... precious.

I had lived my entire life with insecurities. My mom died in a car accident in her haste to get away from Forks... to get away from _me._ Charlie had never been a doting, affectionate parent. He was awkward, but I knew he cared and loved me. However, Edward's gaze filled me with warmth, and something I had always wanted. Acceptance. I unconsciously drifted closer to him, no doubt curious to feel the electricity, when the scent of his aftershave hit me. It was masculine, strong, and musky. I leaned in closer to take in his scent, and closed my eyes in ecstasy when his aroma filled my lungs. Somewhere deep in my mind, I felt him move in closer, too, until we both heard an angry screech.

We jumped apart, awkwardly looking away from each other. Like she had magically appeared before us, Rosalie Hale stood there in all her glory, with her hands on her hips and a stony glare, like Medusa.

"Edward, darling, I see you have met _Isabella._" She added my name menacingly at the end.

Darling? He was her date? _Damn, I actually liked him._

It was rather ironic, I thought. When I finally look at a guy, he's taken, and by none other than Rosalie Hale.

_Well, it didn't matter. I was no match for her…or him for that matter_, I thought desolately.

"Yes, I just met _Bella._ We had quite the first encounter." Edward smiled at me, a genuine, warm smile, and I smiled back, jubilant he used my preferred name.

Rosalie looked speculatively at Edward, then bit out icily, "I see."

She smiled at me then, a full-on, malevolent grin, before turning to Edward, stepping on her toes and reaching to claim his lips. I looked away, not wanting to see her do something that I myself had wanted to do just moments before.

"Excuse me, ladies," was all Edward said in a cold, dark voice. He abruptly turned on his heels and walked away, leaving Miss Hale with her lips still puckered, gaping like a fish.

I smiled down at my lap.

_That wasn't so bad, was it? It looks like we both mutually dislike Miss Hale, at least._

_

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_

**A/N: Please do review. **I would like to get your input on my writing. It is fantastic how this fandom has attracted people from all over the world. I am pleased to say I have had people from locations as different as India and Netherlands view the story. I would love to know all your thoughts. It really does encourage me to write faster.

I am having exams and your reviews increase my serotonin levels.

**I will be sending out teasers for the next chapter to all those that review!**

Next update: Soon, don't expect it before next weekend, my finals get over next week, then I'm a free bird…


	3. Chapter 3 Spin

Hi!

Ok, so a couple of things.

Firstly, I am so happy with your responses that I have decided to post the chapter a night earlier. So, for all you lurkers who don't have much to do on Friday night, here is a little something for you to read.

**A big 'thank you' to all those that are reviewing. **It really did pull me out of my bad moods during my finals. I am thrilled by your reviews and surprised that I haven't gotten a negative review. I am hoping that you all will give me more feedback which will tell me how to improve or give me an idea of what you like more. So, please don't hesitate to review.

I wish more of you would review, it makes me so happy that I have more people 'favoriting' my story than reviewing. Also, thank you to all those that have added me to their story alerts. It is very encouraging to know that people do want to know where I am going with this story. So, thank you for reading, but please do review. I am not much of a writer in RL, I have never taken part in any writing contest. So, I really do hope you all can guide me, even a few words will do a fat lot.

**It is important that I continually warn you. This story will have abuse and assualt, I promise that it won't be overbearingly graphic. I won't put you through that, so please do keep an open mind towards it, if you continue to follow the story, which I sincerely hope you will.**

**Thank you to the members of Project Team Beta who are helping me with my story. **This chapter is probably readable, only thanks to the combined efforts of OTD673 and storytellerslie who have taken the time to correct my mistakes. I have no words to express my gratitude to them for helping me with my grammar, and I really do make a lot of mistakes. Thank you!

The story is up on and if you do wish to visit it, the link is on my profile.

There is a little reward for all readers at the end of the chapter, don't miss it…..

Phew, ok so here is the next chapter.

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**Chapter 3 - Spin **

"So, _Isabella_, I heard about your acrobatic act. Edward looked irritated, what were you thinking, honey?"

_Honey….seriously? I wasn't thinking, honey, my feet have a mind of their own. _

"It was an accident, I told Jazz to let me wear more comfortable shoes."

A hesitant, tiny smile touched my lips as I thought back to the scene this morning.

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Jazz had been standing in front of my closet with his arms folded across his chest, inspecting my wardrobe, when I walked into the room with a breakfast tray.

Jazz shot me a distressed look while I tried to compose my face into a contrite expression.

"Bella, how many times have I told you; you need to go shopping. I won't be surprised if I have to set you up with Alice for a 'shopping date'."

"NO!" I protested a bit too quickly. Jazz quirked an eyebrow to my protested response.

"I mean, okay, I will go shopping," I agreed dismally. I didn't think I could handle one more shopping trip with Alice. As a result of the first and hopefully last trip, I had foot sores that lasted a week. I think she secretly suffered from a terrible case of amnesia because she kept dragging me by the elbow, again and again to the same stores we had visited no longer than fifteen minutes ago. She was relentless and fast…, God was she fast…or what.

Jazz smugly trotted around my room with my dress slung over his shoulder, while I exaggerated my scowl. Literally, he picked out my shoes, my jewelry….even my handbag. Ugh….

"You know," I began, trying to get his attention while he ironed my dress, "if I didn't know better, I would think you were gay," I said in a slow sing-song voice, trying to provoke him. It seemed to have the intended effect because Jazz straightened his back, and shot me an agitated look before sticking his tongue out.

"No appearance could capture your true beauty like it does right now….," I stated in mock wonder, thinking about his current resemblance to a dog.

"….it almost has an animalistic appeal to it."

I could see the struggle on his face. He tried to suppress his chuckle that escaped, but of course he failed.

Before he could retort, I skipped outside singing, "Roses are red, violets are blue, Jazz is gay, what else …. oh dear…what else…..can I say. Tarara dee, tara da dum…"

* * *

Our comfort level had just heightened over the years. Although he lived close by and owned a house, he spent more nights on my couch than in his warm, cozy bed. Occasionally, we passed out together while watching a movie at night.

However, Miss Hale's presence couldn't allow for a comfortable silence so she interrupted my thoughts.

"I don't even know why my idiotic brother bothers with you, acting classy clearly isn't your thing; I mean you aren't even his girlfriend," she said exasperatedly, before continuing in her sweet yet mocking voice. "Besides, he's got the hots for Alice and we all know that."

Rosalie rolled her eyes dramatically, willfully ignoring the hurtful expression I was sure my face was displaying.

"No Rosalie. I am not his girlfriend, but I have been his best friend for as long as I can remember. It does feel good to know that how I look or behave means so much to him that he personally checks it," I replied in a quiet but firm voice.

And it did matter. Despite my sarcastic remarks and persistent teasing, I loved it. I loved my friend for the smallest things he did for me. The tiny gestures signifying belonging - hugs so tight…it was difficult to breathe or even the huge portrait of me hanging in his hall. He knew I was self-conscious, but he had always passed it off by saying that I was his charming 'good luck' rather than his good luck charm. Sometimes, his glorious voice crooned in my ears.

"You make all the trouble go away…..babyyyyy."

I never told him, but I think he knew. Just like he always did.

Rosalie was silent. No, I didn't want Jazz that way….. he was my comrade, my personal misery listener, someone who I loved as much as my dad. He was someone whose arms I could cry in and ramble about that unfairness of life, someone who I could throw my overstuffed cushions at.

Rosalie's face darkened, and I realized that I had unknowingly hit a sore spot. Jazz and I were both aware that Rosalie only came to his exhibitions to flaunt herself publicly.

I wished she knew how it had hurt Jazz to set up his shop without the help of a single family member. That none of his family members had the decency to come and see the marvelous collection of work he had set up. Jazz had worked hours, day and night, to create some of the sceneries he did.

Some where deep inside my mind, I pitied them, they couldn't even experience the enthralling pleasure of seeing him work …. his eyes focused, posture tense as he furiously scribbled the scene in front of him. The paint smudges on his fingers, which he unknowingly rubbed on his face, the numerous shirts I washed for him that smelled like wet earth.

Maybe the fact that we had both been neglected is what made our friendship impossibly stronger, year in, year out. We understood each other completely. Words did not need to be spoken.

It was simply….implicit.

I stood and left, excusing myself to look for Jazz, before I let her comments get to me.

"Quite a speech, Swan, I am impressed." I turned to look up to see Jazz's eyes shining down on me.

"I can see you have been eavesdropping. Mr. Hale, you should be ashamed."

"Well, I'm not."

"I can see that." I sighed dramatically before continuing. "No resemblance to the man I wished to make out of you when I met you….you know, all cootie-free? But I am sad to inform you it is a life-long, debilitating illness, that has sadly impaired your personality to that of a shameless, moronistic jerk," I stated, shaking my head morosely.

"I am wounded...and really 'moronistic'?" His eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Yes 'moronistic'." I grinned before continuing. "Listen I have to leave, I am tired and I have work tomorrow. You were fantastic, don't let anyone ever make you believe otherwise." I gave him a stern look before kissing his cheek and hugging him goodbye.

"Okay, bye."

"I love you" he added sulkily.

"I love you too."

As I approached the exit, I felt someone's eyes on me. I halted my steps and turned.

Edward Cullen was watching me. This time he didn't turn away and neither did I. More like I couldn't. We were caught in _our_ spell again. Someone shoved past me, returning me to my senses. After muttering an apology for blocking the entrance, I looked up again to see Edward's eyes trained on my bare feet. His eyes bounced between them and the stilettos in my hand. I saw a smile tug at the corners of his lips and my lips curved up in response. He raised his gaze to meet mine, eyes dancing with amusement, and tipped his champagne glass in my direction, as if raising a toast to me. I beamed at him feeling like an utterly brain disconnected idiot and winked.

_When was the last time I winked at someone?_

His dazzling smile made me unsteady on my feet and I decided to make a dash before I jumped up and down like a giggling ten year old clapping her hands.

_What does he do to me….?_

* * *

The shrill ring of my alarm clock woke me up. I threw it under my bed without shutting it off.

_Bad idea….._

"Oh, shut up, please 5 minutes more," I moaned while the shrill noise continued.

Five minutes later, I was off my bed on the floor, my cheek pressed to the carpet while I violently used a broom to get my alarm clock out from below the bed before the old lady next door could chastise me for disturbing her 'rare' sleep. I flew to my bathroom and finished my everyday routine, before setting out to eat my breakfast.

I arrived at 7:50 and made way to my office where Miss Stanley was scanning my desk for her next piece of gossip.

"Hi Jess! Did you need something?" She looked up guiltily, and then smiled.

"No, I was waiting for you to fill me in on the details of the gallery. How's that hunky blond friend of yours? See anyone good?" she replied without missing a beat and with an unbelievably straight poker face, despite her 'investigation'.

_New flash: Jess matches Rosalie in the acting department!_

My thoughts drifted to a head of soft bronze hair, and eyes as green as lush tropical forests.

"You did, didn't you?" Jess clapped her hands. "Oh, how was he? Did you guys settle for some action after? What does he do? "

I tried to hold in my bitter response to her disgusting comments. Did she really think I would jump into bed with the first appealing man I saw? I didn't know anything about Edward, for all I knew, we would never meet again. He was just something nice to look at, I told myself sharply. But I couldn't deny our connection even if I wanted to, there was something there, something I wanted to know about.

"No Jess. I just got distracted thinking about Jazz's painting, it was beautiful," I lied, trying to turn my attention to Jazz's painting.

"I don't think any one would look past that face of his, especially the ladies," she said, fanning herself with a magazine.

_Yes_, I thought sadly. Other galleries Jazz had applied to had rejected him due to his work being compared being compared with art students, which were apparently more superior in their approach.

_Approach, my foot!_

Or the older female owners had asked for favors in return. Jazz was repulsed, and it took heaps of restraint to not go to their offices and give them an example of my colorful vocabulary, which I happened to magically acquire during my fits of rage.

"I should get started Jess, I have loads of work. I'll see you at lunch." I smiled at her as she left.

The end of the day arrived soon. As I waited for the lift to arrive, I looked outside the windows and noticed a couple locked in a passionate embrace.

What caught my attention was the most brilliant shade of bronze I had ever seen.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Edward Cullen was with a red head that seemed to be sucking on his neck…

Once the initial shock passed, my mind began to spew vitriol.

_Oh God, what a cheater! Poor Rosalie_, I thought despairingly, even she deserved better.

_Really?_

Was this the same Edward Cullen I had met yesterday; the charming, well-mannered and respectful man? Now he stood there with a woman latched on to him, like there was no tomorrow.

Edward urgently dragged her into the small house, banging the door shut with such vigor that I could almost hear it from my distance.

And just like that reality snapped back into focus. The masks had been removed and the brightness of fantasy had all but vanished.

I didn't need to meet Mr. Cullen again to confirm my suspicions; he was just like them. I don't know why I expected him to be one of those few souls that made me want to dig deeper and find out what was behind that scintillating persona. Or why it bothered me that he seemed to be hiding behind that polished exterior.

I had learnt one truth in my life; no one could hide from their inner demons for very long. The truth would come out and get you, no matter how hard you ran.

After all, I was still running.

That connection I thought I felt with Edward was rubbish. A foolish illusion my mind has created. A part of me that I had repressed so long that on any other occasion, I would have failed to recognize it. I stared at the door, imploring him to reappear so that I could stop my thoughts from moving down to their inevitable dead-end.

But he never came.

It seemed Jazz was right, yet once again. I could never figure people out correctly. He had once said to me, "Bells, you always try to look at the positive side of people, always assuming the best. Your naivety gets the best of you, making you trust people that can't be trusted."

I was only beginning to realize how right he was.

The lift door in front of me opened and I entered without sparing another look at the window.

* * *

"I'm home!" I announced with fake cheeriness trying to drown out the scene I had just experienced.

"Good to know darlin," Jazz drawled out lazily. "Whacha makin me?"

"Some Chinese chilli chicken."

"Thanks, my lovely." I rolled my eyes at his idiotic and cheesy endearment, but then I secretly smiled.

_Hey, I'm a girl, I like cheesy stuff._

Half an hour and a meal later, I was sprawled out on the couch and Jazz was lying on his stomach on the floor.

"So, how does Alice know Edward Cullen?" I asked nonchalantly, inwardly berating myself for thinking about him, yet again.

Jazz looked confused by my question, but answered nevertheless. "He is her brother."

"Oh." Well, that was strange. Alice had never mentioned a brother before.

"What's goin' on Bella? Why the sudden interest in Cullen?"

"Oh nothing, just curious," I said as I focused on the lame TV show.

"Look at me," Jazz said quietly.

"What?" I asked defensively, turning my attention back to him, hoping that he wouldn't notice the tremor in my voice. The twinkle in his eyes told me it was a lost cause, and he knew exactly what was going on.

"My, my, tsk, tsk. Miss Swan finally has a crush and I didn't even know. Why Bella? I tell you about Alice all the time." He tried to look wounded. I took my overstuffed cushion and launched it in his direction. He laughed as he caught it while I buried my red face in my knees.

"A classic case of denial," he said in a cool, calm doctor impression but then playfully added, "your blush gives it all away!"

"Go to hell!"

Jazz snickered and turned his attention back to the TV show, looking grim suddenly.

"Cullen is not good for you Bella. He is not the kind of guy you deserve. He looks rich, settled and charming, but I know you. You could ne'er fit in with him," Jazz said without removing his attention from the TV.

_He was right_, I thought bitterly_. That's exactly what I am…a misfit._

_I always had been and always will be._

Jazz and I were always honest with each other and that was one of the things I loved about him. No pretentious behavior, no bullshit, just down right honest. I knew he meant well, but a small part of me resented him for stating the obvious.

A weight settled on my heart as I wondered, why I wasn't ever enough?

I wasn't enough for Renee to stay, to stop the exit that ended her life. I wasn't enough for my lonely dad, who drank into the night. And I was certainly not enough to stop his addiction.

I felt warm hands brush my tears away; I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Shhh Bella, don't cry. I'm sorry that I said something to hurt you, but I would ne'er let you get hurt if I could prevent it," Jazz said soothingly, placing me in his lap.

"Sorry Jazz. I think I am PMSing, it's the hormones," I claimed weakly.

"You are a pathetic liar."

I hesitated, but then just decided to tell Jasper. He was the only one I could vent my frustration out to.

"I know. I felt like a misfit when you said I would never fit in his life. I know it's true, I just wish I could accept it," I tried to laugh indifferently, but the tears clogged in my throat made it sound like a broken sob.

Jasper looked dumbstruck but then recovered himself.

"That's not what I meant, Bella. Any man that gets you will be very lucky. I only meant to protect you. Cullen never sticks with any one woman, he moves from one to the next faster than the blink of an eye. I don't want an innocent like you falling for his charm and doing something stupid."

"Stop treating me like a child! I am a fully grown woman and I know how to take care of myself," I said bitterly. I glared at him, while he shot me an okay-I-give-up look.

"Ok, my lovely." With that I erupted into full-blown giggles while my best friend grinned watched me clutch my stomach in an attempt to keep my food down.

* * *

The next few days passed in relative peace until the following Wednesday when my beautiful Chevy decided to take a break in the middle of roaring traffic, leaving me stranded.

I kicked the tire with my foot.

_I thought the gas was out last week, why the hell is it so hard?_

"Jazz, my car broke down, can you arrange for it to be picked up? I'll walk back home," I shouted into my phone over the traffic.

"Sure, I will get it when I'm done with my evening appointments. Make sure all the doors are locked, though I don't know why anyone would choose to steal your heart's desire."

I smiled and said "Heart's desire it is and will be, thanks Jazz," before hanging up.

I set out to walk down the long, curvy, quiet road. Lost in thoughts of my Chevy, the last gift Charlie had given me. His drinking had gotten him to the point where he didn't remember much, and forgot my birthday every year. He was too busy grieving the loss of my mother, all of which was my fault…

Charlie never said it but the neighbors did…the whole town of Forks did…I was the cause of the hasty exit that had cost Renee her life. The reason why she had left the love she had found with my father.

The guilt had been overwhelming; in the unvisited pits of my mind I knew I had effectively destroyed Charlie's only chance at happiness. I could try to block out the guilt and push it away but sadly it was never far enough.

I briefly contemplated why people ever married if all it resulted in was pain and difficulty but then diverted my thoughts knowing it was not something, I most likely would have to concern myself with. It was not a prospect in my future, I didn't believe in marriages, the magic or whizz of love ended as soon as life showed one of its many faces.

A car stopped beside me interrupting my thoughts, and as I turned to it, I saw the signature attire of the debonair Mr. Cullen. Seated next to him was a black haired lady. A slight, dull tan fell over her features, her eyes black….unfathomable. Her face was beautiful, feminine with high cheekbones, light bruises lurked around her eyes.

_Wow, Jazz was right._ Perhaps, I should give him more credit. The three times I've seen this guy, he is with someone different.

He really was a 'playboy extraordinaire'.

I adopted my defense mechanism, straightened my frame and strengthened my gait, walking ahead while keeping my head forward, pointedly ignoring him. _Edward _had other ideas, he hurriedly got out of the car and caught up with me, matching me stride to stride.

"Miss Swan, I saw you walking down the street and thought that perhaps we could give you a lift?" he asked politely, keeping pace with me.

This Edward was different, gone was the warmth of his eyes, leaving a very factual, calm and collected demeanor. Yet, when he stepped closer he looked every bit as delicious as an ice-cream Sundae with a cherry on top in his impeccable, dark blue suit and pointed, shiny, black shoes.

_Jeez…I never knew I would find that pointy shoes could look sexy._

I sadly realized my attraction for him had not abated one bit despite all I knew of him.

I gave in and turned to him with an expression I hope resembled a smile. But I knew better.

Edward looked confused by my sudden hostility. Before I could stop myself I was doing it again, staring at him like there was no tomorrow. He infuriated me and annoyed me, like no other had before, but I just couldn't find it in me to tell him to back off because my own body was starting to betray me. Hell…my mind was betraying me.

I wasn't that girl who hoped for cheesy, lovey-dovey dinner dates but this primordial pull just drew me in. I could do nothing to stop it even if I wanted to, because he was getting under my skin, past my armor with lightest whispers of his fingers on the bare skin of my fingers.

My memory hadn't done him justice; he was more jaw-droppingly handsome than I had seen him before. I studiously absorbed his features, taking note of how much more beautiful he seemed today.

He was a very handsome man, there was no denying that. Well built, tall, but I could detect things most others failed to notice; details that went beyond his enticing overt beauty - like how his eyes didn't hold the satisfaction of a restful night, how the creases on his forehead hinted of a much older man than chronology could account for or even the subtle hunch that shielded him, in preparation of any sudden onslaught.

I recognized it all instantly because I saw the all the same things reflected back at me when I looked in the mirror.

Edward Cullen had skeletons in his closet, and I was intrigued as hell.

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**A/N: **Please press review if you would like to get a **preview of the next chapter**.

Also, an interesting development in this fandom is the notion of a picture teaser. In fact, every Monday a website posts teasers for the first chapters of several fics.

Well, I decided to do something, now that I have all the time in the world.

I have decided to put the link on my profile, let's hope it makes you come back.

It is just a way of saying thank you and making sure you all come back.

**Have a great weekend and please leave a review! It hardly takes a minute, sometimes.**


	4. Chapter 4 A Plea

Hello to everyone!

**Thank you so much for your reviews and for adding me to your story alerts and favorites.** It feels so good, thank you! I really do hope you all will continue to review. And I am really hoping that more of you will review this time. Please do keep in mind the warning in the author's note from the previous chapters.

**Thank you to the members of Project Team Beta who are helping me with my story. **This chapter is probably only readable due to the combined efforts of SuburbanSun, MySmileismytears and SandiCarr. Thank you so much.

Finally, a big thank you to OTD673 and kriscullen for encouraging me to just go with the plot. Thank you to Charmie for her guidance.

So here's the next chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 4 – A plea**

"Leah, let's drop Miss Swan off first."

_What happened to 'Bella'?_

He had persisted in calling me Bella when Rosalie had regarded me snidely.

_Looks like that's no longer the case._

He moved away from me in the direction of the car, his pale, strong hands brushing along the edges of his soft jacket. His muscular thighs appeared prominently along the lines of his dark blue pants.

With strong, dignified strides he made his way to the side of the silver Volvo. The car matched his personality flawlessly. Its smooth finesse mirroring his timeless grace, its sleek form fitted to accommodate his tall, strong frame.

_A man with style would settle for nothing less. It was perfect, just like him._

I followed like a snake twisting to the controlled, flute-tuned breaths of a snake charmer. The charge grew stronger with each step, taunting me at my distance.

He felt me before I could realize my closer proximity, my movements reflected in the ripples of the muscles where his neck met his shoulder.

His shoulders perked up in alertness. His arms rising slightly from the sides of his jacket as his body absorbed the thick tension in the air. His head lifted a little from its slight slouch against his chest, opening his posture and strengthening it.

The charge was palatable, it teasingly touched the tip of my tongue. I could taste the sweet, tangy flavor on my lips. I licked them, trying to savor the taste of it, making it stay longer in the only way I knew I could.

He turned then, his gaze meeting mine for the briefest of seconds before he stole his eyes away.

His long, thin fingers danced along the handle, like the keys of a piano, before clasping it tightly. His wrist flexed, opening the door while I rapidly blinked, trying to swim out of my trance.

But I didn't get too far.

He stood by the side of the car, holding the door open for me and looked at me expectantly, but I was too lost in the way his bronze hair had caught in the sunlight, shimmering with red and gold. It wasn't surprising that it accentuated his profile, the color unique and rich, like the deepest browns mixed with cherry wood and a hint of red, shining with a sunny glaze and contrasting in fascinating ways with the smooth, creamy expanse of his forehead.

"Bella?"

_There it is!_ I thought happily, smiling widely at him. He returned an amused smile. Pressing his lips together to stop what I assumed was laughter at my expense. I felt the blood rise in my cheeks, probably clueing him in on my frantic heart beat.

_Like a show on display. Why, oh, why do I have to be so transparent!_

When I looked up, I couldn't help but notice how his eyes seemed brighter and crinkled around the corners.

_I did that._

I took a little pride in that fact, two quiet souls helping each other. If felt nice and…familiar. The charge brightened us, it tried to secretly force us closer, fading the boundaries between us by mixing our essences together in a way that made it impossible to tell them apart anymore.

He looked almost...happy.

_Almost_

The thought brought me back to the present. To prevent making an even bigger fool of myself by persistently gawking at him, I hastily answered, "No, thank you so much, Edward. I like walking; I'll be fine."

The slouch came back. It didn't even take a minute. It was like a reflex.

But even more noticeable were the changes in his eyes. They turned dimmer, the bright green reaching out and grasping darkness. The despair glinted, the surrender clouding around his eyes travelling along those strong facial lines. The ever-present creases deepened imperceptibly, being enough to not be missed by me.

I made an effort daily to clear them, smooth them away from my brow, but they never went away.

_Just like bitter truths._

Jazz saw them everyday and he never commented, but I saw the acceptance in the hazel of his eyes, as they worriedly scanned my forehead before reaching my eyes.

Then came the encouraging smiles with hope shining so brightly it blinded me.

That glimmer of hope in his eyes died a little bit with every passing day, just like Edward's eyes. I hated that defeated look, a physical evidence of my deficiencies as a person, just another notch on an ever growing list of failures. It killed me bit by bit, being torture of the worst kind.

_Why can't I ever do anything right?_

His sincere voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Please, Bella, I am sure you have a long walk. I would be happy to help."

In a spur of the moment decision, I began walking towards him. His eyes hesitantly followed my movements, as though he was too scared to believe. I let the charge pull me, ignoring the pats of my sandals on the gravel, focusing on how he straightened out and bloomed from his shell.

The brightness only grew, not blinding me but embracing me, welcoming me with open arms. I felt my cheekbones rise, warmth from my stomach reached my cheeks, the corners of my lips reached for my ears.

It took me a moment to realize that I was smiling.

And so was Edward. One of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen, and my favorite crinkles were back.

_Charge strikes again! Bingo!_

We probably looked like ecstatic idiots to a stranger, happy for an unknown reason, but what the casual eye missed was the quiet celebration; we were sharing the happiness of our little victory.

_Oh well, at least he's persuasive._

I idly wondered what his deal was, but I filed it away for later. Being courteous, I moved to get in but not before I caught his musky, after-shave scent.

It was becoming my favorite smell.

Today, there was a slight flavor to it, a hint of cigarette smoke. It spread from him, enticingly flaring around me, encircling me in a way that ignited my insides. I felt overwhelmed by it, close to burning...not quite there yet, just a step shy, producing a slow burn that made my toes curl with its intensity.

It was a puzzling sensation, a queasy, almost nervous fluttering and a heady, warm elation that seemed to seep deep in to the roots of my hair, all combined into an indescribable package.

In my stupefied state, I realized that he _literally_ towered over me. The top of my head hardly reached his strong, skillfully sculpted chin. Its prickly stubble looked so intriguing; I almost reached out to touch it. The slightly coarse hair there seemed to be thicker than the other regions, adding a shadow to his face. If it was possible, it only made his masculine appeal more intoxicating.

_Swoon…_

On any other occasion I would have felt intimidated by a man of his stature.

But in a strange sort of way, it made me feel small…_protected_.

The inward curl of his shoulders returned, in a protective manner, but this time they projected their bubble to include me. It went beyond lust, it was instinct.

_And I was scared. Very scared, because I couldn't control it anymore._

I couldn't understand where these thoughts were coming from or why I wanted to stop and stand in the protective shade of his shadow a bit longer.

I forced myself forward, refusing to act like a smitten teenager. The charge still refused to let go, holding me down, binding me, rendering me helpless. I let my conscience pull me forward, leaving the irrationality of the absurd situation behind me.

My feet had other ideas. I stumbled as my first step into the car faltered. My body tilted at a strange angle and I almost hit my forehead on the console, but a strong, vice grip grasped my arm and tugged so sharply that I collided in the most delicious way with Edward's hard chest. The impact produced a deep thud.

A sound my own heart echoed.

My face flushed; an outsider would have correctly assumed I was embarrassed, which very truthfully, I was. However, this was different; his hands on my arms tightened. I closed my eyes, trying to gain control over myself as a wave of energy spread through my body, leaving a tingling in its wake.

It was no use now. He was invading my senses at a strength several thousand-fold stronger than ever before. His scent, his taste, his strength touched me. He was on me, around me, in me, it was too much. We were breathing the same air, sharing it between us. I greedily took what he gave while he captured some of what I gifted.

_I couldn't find it in me anymore to fight it._

This time, I moved first, leaning towards him, seeking him behind my closed lids.

Only to find my hands empty, my face denied the close proximity of its companion.

My eyes flickered open as I realized his warmth had left my arms cold. I saw the strong clench of his jaw, signifying restraint or disgust?

I tilted my head to see his gaze focused on me, blank, devoid of any emotion.

I felt so…_humiliated_.

_He doesn't even feel it…_

Edward shifted his gaze behind me awkwardly.

"Wow, looks like you always bring out the best in me, or my feet, should I say?" I joked, trying to diffuse the discomfort.

He smiled a sympathetic, yet incredibly fake smile.

I looked at him and asked him with my eyes,

_Why are you hiding?_

He defiantly looked away, a scowl marring his previous peaceful expression.

_Well to me that meant go mind your own business…_

He was being defensive. His armor was weaker, it had more bruises and it was easier to look through it and get a glimpse of the real Edward.

He moved to the door of the car again and held it open wider, moving away so that I could get in.

I looked up, my head tilted upwards so that my eyes could meet his. He moved closer, still pointedly looking away, as though he wanted to sit with me in the back of the car but didn't want me to see through him.

I thought for a spare second that maybe the charge was pulling him in, too, but then he shook his head as if deciding against it before stepping back and closing the door.

The clank of metal on metal effectively ended our telepathic argument.

Or maybe it was what now seemed to be the beginning of an era of silence.

I sat quietly in the backseat trying to, but failing at, keeping my eyes from drifting to the rear-view mirror where those beautiful green eyes were appraising me, unabashedly. They tried to hide their pent up frustration, but it was a lost cause. I blushed under his intense scrutiny and looked away, focusing on my distracted thoughts.

"149 Alpine Street West, Leah."

I gasped at the same time my eyes met Edward's wide ones; he looked shocked and…annoyed. He muttered something under his breath before staring straight ahead and not glancing at the rearview mirror. I looked outside the window, trying to ignore my frantic heartbeat. The girl in me wanted to scream, 'Edward knows my address! He knows it!'

_Shut up, you're not invited to the party._

I diverted my thoughts away. No, it didn't mean anything. Why would it? How could he possibly know my address? He must have seen me near the hotel next door on one of his meetings and, being the sharp man he was, he must have correctly assumed I lived close by.

I looked down in my lap, but not before missing the subtle touch of Leah'shand on Edward's arm. Edward rudely snatched his arm back. My jaw clenched, of course, the favors, so I guess she was the office slut. Favors at the office, that's exactly who Mr. Cullen was. The gentleman in the face of the public, but a corrupt, disgusting womanizer behind closed doors.

_Yes Bella, welcome to the 'real world'. I hope you have noticed the true colors of the object of your infatuation._

I was too engrossed in my thoughts to realize the car had stopped until a cool gust of wind brushed against the exposed skin of my neck, giving me goosebumps. I looked up to see Edward Cullen looking down at me in a way as though he was trying to figure out a puzzle. I shuffled around my seat, blushing at his intent, fixated gaze.

_Seems like I am not the only one._

This time he offered me his hand and I unthinkingly reached out to clutch it tightly with my own.

_Sparks._

My physical responses were getting out of control; my heart was beating violently, thudding in my chest as if giving a siren call. I stepped out of the car and loosened my hold on his hand, allowing him to drop my own, but he kept a firm hold, staring at me in a way that made me tremble. He must have felt the tremor in my hand and he looked down and turned his attention to it. I stared, fascinated at how my fingers had wrapped themselves around his as if they had a mind of their own.

I was paler than him and my hand seemed to glow in his much larger, warm one as we stood illuminated under the streetlamp. It was darker now, and the only sounds my ears could hear once again were those of my heartbeat and our labored, deep breaths.

I don't know how long we both stood there staring at our hands. It could have been minutes, hours…but I wasn't counting. A noisy beep jostled us both out of our charged cloud and we snatched our hands back.

I noticed how we had gravitated towards each other during our strange interaction; the charge was acting again.

It was innate, unlearnt and, above all, stranger and stronger than anything I had felt before.

I couldn't look him in the eye and stared down at the pavement even though I could feel his eyes on me. The slow burning seemed ever-present around him, blossoming into a red-hot flame.

_It's nothing, it's nothing_, I chanted on and on in my mind.

_Ready or not, here it comes,_ my conscience said softly over my mantra, but it was enough to drown out my chanting_._

_I have to leave….now. _

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"I have to go; it's getting late. Goodnight, Edward," I said, keeping me eyes on my shoes.

Without waiting for a response and actively ignoring the fluttering in my stomach evoked by his name on my lips, I turned on my heel and practically ran to my building's entrance.

As I stepped in the lift, I wondered if I should have said a 'see you around later.'

No, I wouldn't, I angrily decided. I wouldn't explore this connection. I wouldn't get hurt, not this time…not ever again. Love happened in stories…in happy stories. I was past the point of lying to myself. I knew what my heart wanted and the impending disaster was going to destroy me if I didn't stop it.

My life was not a happy love story - it was hate story. A story tainted with blacks and grays, intermingled with the red of my mother's blood, but somewhere, if you looked deeper, there were those bright specks of gold which signified Jasper and a certain green-eyed newcomer that I refused to acknowledge.

Sometimes the sheer intensity of 'the connection' scared me. It was surprising how much he affected me in the short time I had known him. Just the essence of him seemed like a welcome invitation for pain.

Love was never going to become a part of my life because I was not lovable; it was a simple and methodical fact, like the rest of my life.

Maybe I could not love the way a romantic relationship required, but it didn't matter. I was happy in my solitary existence. I didn't expect anything from anyone and no one expected anything from me; I was heartbreak-proof, indeed a solid strategy.

_Don't take what you can't return._

I entered my apartment where the lights were off and the furnishings were shrouded in darkness. It was ironic how well my apartment, in its current state, represented my life - quiet, dark, lonely and of course surrounded by an aura of desolation.

Despite my inner monologue, which I used occasionally to toughen up and strengthen myself, I felt like I was lying to myself today.

I felt I was acting again like a little girl deluding herself into believing that the conflicts between her parents would be solved and we would be a big, happy family.

Why did I have a heavy heart today? Why did every next step feel like I was leaving something behind? Like I had stones tied to my feet preventing me from moving forward, the ropes digging into my ankles, marking my skin.

I knelt on the carpeted floor in the dark and I just...gave in. I held out my hands in a prayer position.

_Dear God, wherever you are and if you are listening, just bring a little more happiness into these shadows_, I pleaded miserably and closed my eyes.

I felt a breeze of fresh, clean air on my face, chilling my tear-stained cheeks and then I smiled as I gravitated back to my childhood where I used to sneak out in my pajamas and whisper my requests and demands for help to the night sky. After my little speeches I used to close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, expectantly waiting for a breeze to touch me. If I felt a breeze, it meant that God had acknowledged my request and it was a promise sent right from the heavens. If I didn't feel it, well, I would wait until I finally did.

_Listen up buddy, I don't take no for an answer…_

I wasn't a very religious person, but I felt this was our one-on-one private communication, a promise that things would be alright.

I yearned for the naivety of childhood, a kingdom where stories were always fairytales and hugs from Barney would make everything alright.

I opened my eyes and lifted my head to find the window left open and shining from the streetlamp's light. I walked over to close it, but my eyes were magnetically drawn below.

There stood Edward Cullen, under the streetlight, looking like a lost boy, his eyes trained on the entrance to my building, like mine had been trained to the door the other day. His bronze hair was silk in the lamp's light, his eyes luminescent and brighter but filled with that familiar sadness. He shone like a falling star on the dusk-lit, quiet road.

I had a strange feeling as though I had found my light.

He stood there for a while longer, deep in thought, and then walked back to his car, for his late night activities, I assumed sadly.

I scrunched my eyes in pain as the next thought hit me.

_He was leaving me alone. Just like everyone else did, always…_

Maybe I was a masochist and enjoyed the 'pleasure of pain' my thoughts brought to me. I closed my hands over my arms in a protective gesture, hugging myself, trying to prepare myself before the next thought invaded my mind, even though I knew it was useless to defend myself.

_I ran from Forks, from Charlie, and from Renee because I was a coward and I couldn't deny the accusations because they were all true…_

_So true…_

And then the floodgates opened and my steel armor fell apart, chink by chink, leaving me exposed as I collapsed into the dark of the night and allowed the hollow to swallow me whole.

* * *

**A/N: Please press review!! All reviewers get a preview of the next chapter! **If you don't want one let me know.**  
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**I am curious to know what you think might be a cause for Edward and Bella's marriage. So do let me know what you guess might be the reason.**

Also, is anyone reading this an entrepreneur, or well-informed about this field of business? I just have some questions I need to get help with and it's kind of crappy when you are a science student trying to look through the books for her electives. It would be lovely to have a reference.

Ok, so I'll be making a pictease for the next chapter. It will be posted on the pictease blog spot (updates every Monday), my profile and my twitter page (emeralddahlia) when it's done.

Next update: Probably a week, I try to get on with this as fast as I can, so make sure I'm on your story alert list You can check my twitter account for schedules and progress.


	5. Chapter 5  Surreal

**A/N**: Thank you for all your support and reviews. It means a lot to me that you are reading the story, reviews are always an added bonus.

Thank you to **PTB** members OTD673 and JasperBells for their help

Let me know your thoughts.

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**Chapter 5 – Surreal**

Jess was standing on a ladder, trying to pin up a decoration to the corner of the door.

"Jess, will you be ok? That's an awfully long ladder. You could get seriously hurt if what you have in mind doesn't work out. I hate to leave you like this."

"Trust me, Bella. This is going to work! It has to, just go and call Mike." She winked, mischief glinting from her eyes.

The plan was to call Mike to come over and help Jess. She would then make an 'accidental' trip and land 'gracefully' in Mike's arms. Subsequently, the dreamy couple would meet eye to eye and hopefully end up in a prospective lip lock.

_Joke of the year._

Michael Newton, the sports section writer of our magazine, was the kind of guy that stuffed tissues up his sleeves to appear muscular. I doubted he had ever even lifted a sole dumbbell in his life, handling a 170 pound Jess was altogether a different story. He was stout with a baby puffy face, and at best was a sad geek flirting with every female. Not to mention all his attempts fell flat.

"Ok, Jess," I agreed a bit too cheerfully, and then composed myself, trying to hide my excitement.

_This was going to be fun._

_I'm such a bad person!_

_What? She asked for it and I warned her, my job is done. _

I happily called for Mike, and he came running, waggling his tail. Poorly dressed was an understatement when it came to him. His shirt was half-tucked in, his too tight pants highlighted by his less than ideal figure. His hair, spiked with gel, lacked any order and looked absolutely gooey.

He was trying too hard.

_And he sucked at it!_

Be nice, I reminded myself.

"Hi Mike." I smiled politely.

"Hey, Bella! What's up, did you need something?" He straightened his tie suggestively.

"Just tell me, you know I would be happy to help," he said, voice heavily laced with innuendo.

I resisted the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes and smack his face left, right and center.

_Yes, baby, that's exactly what I need._

"Jess needs your help in the lunchroom," I said sweetly.

_Though I think you will need medical help soon…_

"Sure thing." Mike looked elated and practically made a mad dash for the lunch room.

Not long after, a noisy, scratchy shriek filled my ears, followed soon after by a very unmanly cry.

I suppressed my laugh and swiftly collected myself before heading back to the lunchroom.

On the floor, preoccupied with each other, Jess was shooting daggers at Mike. Mike was enjoying the view provided by Jess's low cut blouse. I snorted at the sight, but they were too engrossed in their encounter to notice.

_Extraordinary. _

_Shut up, Bella, don't laugh!_

"You guys okay?"

"No, but I will be." Jessica said as she stomped out of the room and I followed her secretly smiling.

* * *

We were having a party to celebrate _Paxiou_'s victory on getting chosen as the most promising magazine of the year. It had been a total of five months since the magazine had started. Despite the slow start, we were gaining more and more readers daily. It was phenomenal and Mrs. Mallory was ecstatic. Our sales were rising at a skyrocketing rate and the critics, though skeptical, had given a thumbs up to our progress.

We were improving and trying to make our way to the top. It was a thrilling experience. Every day presented a new challenge, where each and every member strived to give their best. We had our shares of lows, but they were far less frequent and scattered among the more numerous wins.

The hours were long and inflexible, the shift duration going to as long as eleven hours sometimes. But it paid off; our salaries were steadily rising. I felt like I was in college all over again, working on an assignment, being drained and coming back every day with a renewed strength to prove my skill. I felt like I was growing with the magazine. We achieved together and we failed together, it wasn't about making a living anymore, it went beyond that.

It was about doing it together.

Every person had their good and bad qualities, but we were a team. What one couldn't do, the other helped with. It was enriching, almost potent and addictive. It made you want to work harder to share those brilliant colors of success, because at the end of the day it was the team that was acknowledged, not any one individual.

And it was so much better that way.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jess appearing in the doorway in an awfully tight, grey, thigh-length dress. It almost looked like a shirt, I didn't know whether it was her stomach or her hips to blame. I really didn't understand why she didn't wear something more her size. It made her look disgusting and cheap. She always overdid it, just like Mike.

_No wonder they were a match made in heaven._

"How do I look?"

_Awful...hideous…gut-wrenching..._

"You look fine, Jess. I am sure Mike will love it."

Jessica's demeanor turned into a heartbreaking pout. She looked at me from under her lashes before saying, "You really think so? I was so rude to him, how will he ever forgive me? But well, I think if he loves me, he shouldn't remain mad at me. I mean, come on, who doesn't get mad….."

_Does she ever stop?_

Jessica moaned and droned about Mike, while I just nodded at the right times. Jess was a multi-tasker, she had the ability to ask questions and answer them at the same time.

_Incredible, right?_

Later that day, preparations were in full swing. The air was alight with anticipation. This was our first major accomplishment and we would make sure it was a night to remember.

It was about five when everyone was packing up to leave and get dressed before returning, that Mrs. Mallory stepped in.

Mrs. Mallory, or Lauren, was a woman of few words. She was a disciplined, all business and no nonsense type of a woman. At the age of thirty, many would say she was more mature than her years, which was true. Strict about rules and policies, Mrs. Mallory was not a woman you wanted to cross.

Married at 25, to Mr. Tyler Mallory, a 50–year old well-known corporate head of one the leading business companies in Seattle. The man symbolized power, and it wasn't a surprise that an ambitious woman like Lauren would indulge into a marriage with a tycoon for the sole purpose of gaining proprietorship of her aspirations.

I had only shared a few words with the woman when she had interviewed me. Her demeanor was intimidating and her arrogance knew no bounds. Her harsh scrutiny rendered a person naked in their thoughts. She had the ability to see through people, and she knew it.

You could see it in her eyes.

Maybe that's what made her so proud of herself. She was damn good and she knew it, because at the end of the day, we could have people like Jess and Mike work for the magazine but no one could be better-suited to their jobs like they were. They were designer-made.

Her sharp eye didn't miss anything; it only dug deeper until your soul was bared.

If I had to name one woman who could rule the world, I would only say Lauren Mallory.

Mrs. Mallory walked to the center of the entrance, the chatter died out instantly, the silence resonating with the clicks of the heels of her stilettos.

The crowd gathered around her while she took her place. She clapped her hands to get everyone's attention, and every head in the room snapped up in alertness. Men stood up straighter while women huddled closer together. Mrs. Mallory had that effect. The tension grew in the air as her penetrating gaze moved across every face in the room while the room remained silent.

After a long pause, her distinct dominant voice began, "Good evening, ladies and gentleman, before you all leave, I have certain announcements to make.

First, I'd like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to all of you for the brilliant work you have produced. Your hard work has paid off in less than six months. That is more than I expected, but let me make one thing very clear to all of you."

She folded her arms across her chest, before squaring her shoulders, adopting her aggressive posture. She smiled viciously, her full red lips curving close to a sneer. Her gray eyes narrowed, surveying the room before she continued.

"I will not tolerate any mistakes, no matter how good your work performance might be. One mistake and you will be shown the door. I take my work very seriously and from now on, you might want to, also. People would die for the opportunity you have been given, you might as well cherish it while it lasts. You are employed for a company that has been hardly in business for half a year and is already winning accolades. Don't take it for granted, because before you know, the floor will have slipped from below your feet. And do keep in mind that my dictionary doesn't include second chances.

So, this may be our first success, but I will make sure with every bone in my body, that it is not the last," she said fiercely.

"Hence this will make rules stricter, work hours longer, quality standards higher. Buck up people because things are about to get a whole lot harder."

Everyone's face was ashen by the time she finished talking. And this was where Lauren lost.

Lauren's orders were obeyed always, but all tasks assigned by her were undertaken by fear and not dedication. She never made a good leader, a good commander, yes, but never a good director.

"And now for my second announcement, as you all know I am married to Mr. Tyler Mallory." She smiled cunningly to herself before continuing. "He has very kindly invited a guest to our celebration. Our guest tonight is a renowned entrepreneur from New York, who started working at the age of 23. He is the CEO of a company well-known for its innovative marketing strategies and principles, a company which has been in business for about 30 years. In fact, the company just celebrated its 32nd anniversary last month."

"Our guest tonight will be the very charming 32 year-old Mr. Edward Cullen, CEO of Cullen & Masen Corporation."

_No! It's too soon… _

"He is in the midst of negotiations with my husband for a future deal, and I expect him to be treated with the utmost respect. Do all of you understand?"

_This just keeps getting better._

My heartbeat sped up. I was going to see Edward again.

_Today._

I stood frozen as all the other staff members said in unison, "Yes, ma'am.

She quirked an eyebrow at me, and I quickly said, "Yes, Mrs. Mallory."

She stared at me longer than I would have been comfortable, cocking her head, assessing me.

_Maybe she knew._

Without moving her gaze from me she said, "Very well. I'll see you all later tonight."

She turned and walked back to her office, but on reaching her door, she spared me a glance.

_I was screwed.

* * *

_

I rushed to my apartment. When I entered, Jazz was lounging on my sofa. My dress ironed, with all the accompanying accessories laid on the arm rest.

_I swear he's gay, but I still love him._

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked, putting my thoughts into words. I had been caught in the rush hour and I was sure I would be late. I had expected to come home and get my dress ready.

"The feeling is mutual, my lovely." Jazz gave me a half-heartened smile.

His smile was off. His posture hunched, face stressed and hands tightly intertwined. His knuckles were bone white and his knees were anxiously bouncing.

He was upset and as usual, horrible at hiding his emotions.

I silently moved across the room to his side and sat down next to him. I waited patiently for him to talk.

He remained quiet.

Jazz really wasn't the talker in our relationship. I huffed and collapsed back on the couch.

"Okay, what happened?"

"Nothing," Jazz muttered desolately.

"And I'm supposed to be a bad liar." I tugged on his arm until he fell onto the back rest. He sighed heavily, signaling he was ready to talk.

"I want to ask Alice on a date, but I think she's with someone else and not interested in me," he said sadly.

_Such a girl! No wonder I never needed girlfriends._

"Aw Jazz, come on, it's so obvious, she's into you. I mean, who wouldn't be? Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" I joked.

"I see myself everyday." I rolled my eyes at him.

_Yes, Einstein, there is something called a rhetorical question._

"What?" Jazz asked confused.

"Just ask her!"I exclaimed, exasperated.

Jazz just shook his head, refusing to take the first step. It was time for a different approach, one that always worked with Jazz.

_The well-practiced 'softy approach.'_

"Hey," I said softly, he raised his head to meet my eyes.

_See, it has instant results._

His hazel eyes were gloomy, I could tell he was feeling really low today. He had his bad days just like I had mine. I placed my hand on his back and held it steady, my gaze assessing him before continuing, "You really like this girl?"

He nodded, staring down at his hands.

"Will you be happy seeing her with anyone else?"

"Of course not!" Jazz scoffed.

"Then what are you waiting for? What if she does find that guy in someone else? Give it one try, Jazz. At least then you won't regret not asking her out or the fact that you never gave yourself a chance." Jazz held a thoughtful expression as he pondered over my words. I could see the wheels turning in his head. Taking it as an opportunity to urge him further, I continued.

"If she says no, she was never meant to be yours. If she says, yes, well then, mister, you're an opening batsman, don't let anyone get your wicket!" I finished with a wink, Jazz smiled widely.

"So does that lovely smile mean you'll try?"

"One shot won't hurt." He said, sheepishly.

"That's my boy!"I grinned at him, before clapping his back.

_Honestly, I am the guy in this relationship._

He returned a gleeful smile before jumping off the couch, sternly pointing in the direction of my bedroom.

"Isabella Marie Swan, bedroom, now! You're going to be so late."

I glanced worriedly at the clock to find it was 6:53. How in the world would I get there by 7:30?

And, I had an even bigger impending problem.

_How was I ever going to face Edward Cullen after our previous meeting?_

_

* * *

_

The peach silk dress flowed lightly down my body, and stopped just below my knees. The feeling of soft silk on my skin made me feel so calm and serene. Even the slightest movement was accompanied by an elegant glide of the cloth on my skin. Surprisingly, it only made my movements more fluid.

The pearl earrings that went with the dress, shone out in a simple and conservative manner. Their shine matching the glow of the apples of my cheeks. Wisps of my mahogany hair fell along my temples out from my bun.

My delicate silver sandals made me stand taller and feel a bit more confident. Thankfully, they weren't too over the top or high for my taste.

I felt beautiful, for once.

Jazz loved the outfit.

_Which wasn't exactly a surprise because he had chosen it._

My Chevy was out of service today, it was still being repaired by the mechanic. Apparently, it had many technical deficits.

_I'll take that as a compliment._

So I had to take a cab to the hotel close to our office. Unfortunately Jazz couldn't drop me because he didn't have a car, his financial resources were tight and he refused to let me help.

He hadn't looked back once since he chose the path his passion led him to. It often made me wonder how many people actually had that sort of will power to walk out of a bed of roses. He was a self-made man; he held his dignity above the worldly riches.

It made me proud to say that Jasper Whitlock was my best friend.

It was a childish thought, but he was one of the only people that I could call my own, blindly. He was more than a friend, he was an inspiration.

My thoughts were interrupted as I arrived at the grand entrance of the hotel. It was tall with four towers, making it look like a castle. Each of the four towers had a flickering light which twinkled like a star.

The dull, yellow light that shone from the numerous hanging lamps in the entrance was splendid, beautifully gracing the entrance with their glow.

An attendant opened the cab door for me. I stepped out, my dress whooshing with my movements.

I made my way into the hotel, following the signs to get to the reserved hall.

I was deep trouble; Mrs. Mallory was going to have me for supper. It was already 8:15 p.m. The celebration was expected to be in full swing now.

I paused at the double doors that separated me from what the night held in store for me.

I didn't want to admit it, but I wanted to hold back a while longer.

I wasn't ready yet.

The glamour of the life that hid behind the doors was hideous. I felt lonely in these high society parties, women laughed loudly while men boisterously flaunted their wealth and power. It was so fake and…plastic. All of them were actors and the bid was on the one who acted the best.

In the five months I had worked in the magazine, my views towards night life had radically changed. At night, people adopted appearances that were inconsistent with the faces they wore during the day. A monumental change seemed to occur within a few hours.

The first party had been shocking. Seeing the normally self-contained staff members engaging in uncharacteristic, shameful behavior was horrifying. It made me question whether I really knew these people.

They drank all night, dancing in the dizzying lights, collapsing in the arms of strangers, unaware of what the outcome of their actions may be. The stench of alcohol and smoke only grew substantially as the hours passed, mixing with the foul odor of depravity.

It scared me.

I wanted to crawl up the walls or disappear into them. The shameless leers of men as they skimmed the petite figures of the posh ladies repulsed me. Usually, by the end of the night, it wasn't surprising to find the wives of certain businessmen in the arms of another.

It was amazing how brittle and meaningless their relationships seemed at night. It was a business deal for them to star as a couple, and it didn't seem to matter how they ended up with different partners by the end of the night.

It was all a big show. People were bigger actors in real life.

At the start of it all, I tried to convince myself that I had the wrong idea, but every party the events repeated themselves again and again.

Only the faces were different.

It didn't make sense sometimes.

_How could the same kind and courteous people change overnight?_

They were even worse than I was. At least I didn't hide behind the false pretense of a devoted relationship. I knew what I had and I was content with it.

I didn't need to lie to myself, or the world for that matter.

I knew my outfit was simple, not what was expected of an editor of a fashion magazine. I just wasn't that glamour girl that wore kinky, low cut dresses. I preferred to preserve my modesty by wearing something that was simple, yet elegant. I felt comfortable and feminine in my outfit but I knew the moment I stepped past the dark brown doors that would change.

The disappointed glances Mrs. Mallory gave me only drove home the painful fact that I was an outcast, socially inferior to all those around me.

A loner which stood somewhere deep in the shadows. A girl which learned by watching others fall and focused on her own steps to stop them from stumbling.

It was suffocating.

I didn't want to see it tonight, I really didn't. I wanted to live in the bright morning where everyone was rosy and sunny. All had good intentions unhindered by the evil of the night.

But just like every other night, the obligation won over.

Today, it all seemed harder because of a single name.

_Edward Cullen._

Visions of our previous encounters flashed through my mind, his rare, sincere smile that had brightened his eyes when I had approached him. His alluring charm when he gently teased me about my stilettos. The memories turned dark, as I thought of the shadows that lingered around his eyes, the glimmer of ancient sadness that pointed to a broken man. The playful, sweet Edward was hidden deep in there, blocked by a quieter, brooding Edward.

I wasn't ready yet to see either of them lose their inhibitions.

Neither was I prepared to see those fluid movements stagger under the intoxication of alcohol.

Imagining Edward, the dignified, beautiful man, exchanging bold caresses with the obnoxious ladies of the parties made my stomach churn unpleasantly.

I wouldn't learn anything from his falls tonight. I would only fall along with him.

He could do that. He had done that before. The mere thought of the painful night after our previous meeting made my throat tighten.

_Don't think about it, Bella._

Learning from other people was different. No matter how much I wanted to deny it Edward affected me deeply. My heart cried out when it saw the sadness he had hidden in his eyes. My chest hurt with his pain.

His emotions were mine.

Any mistakes he made today would affect me too. The regret he would feel tomorrow, I would feel for him today.

The question was, who would it hurt more?

Our connection was almost…surreal.

His presence made everything else seem so insubstantial and lacking. I couldn't be my sarcastic self, the carefree girl that fooled around and laughed at silly melodramas.

He exposed me in a way I couldn't understand. Just the thought of his steady gaze on our hands made me shiver. It made me feel vulnerable, prone to revealing those horrible secrets I had buried deep down.

I stared hesitantly at the artistic roses carved in the dark brown wood of the double doors. The doors were so tall…and wide, imitating what I thought looked like the doors of a big ballroom. I closed the remaining distance to the door, feeling an oddly powerful force grow in my chest connecting with my heart.

I raised my fingers, hovering over the grooves of the handle. I touched the metal and…

_Tug_

My eyes widened and I pulled my hand back. I looked around to see if anyone else felt it. The hotel staff continued on with their activities. No one seemed to notice anything peculiar. I looked at my hands, half expecting the tingling in my fingers to zap at me.

_It must be my imagination in the over drive._

I reached for the handle again, eyeing it curiously. The cool iron stared back at me, daring me to touch it. My fingers zinged the closer I got. I hesitantly touched my fingers to the metal…

_Pull_

It was back. The charge cast tiny flames that appeared around me, swirling like the waves of water, before taking residence in me.

He was here already. I could feel him.

The hesitation vanished; it didn't even take a minute. My hand curved around the handle, embracing it, spreading my overwhelming, sudden warmth to the cool, deprived metal. The imaginary ropes wrapped around my waist and pulled me in.

With a deep breath and unexplainable courage, I pulled the doors open, ready to face my destiny for tonight.

_It was going to be a night to remember indeed._

Bring it on.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! **I'm sorry there were no Edward and Bella scenes. The next chapter definitely has some. Lauren Mallory is an important character and hence, I needed some space for her.

**Please press review!**

**All reviewers get a preview of the next chapter. **If you don't get a response in 3-4 days PM me.**  
**

**Reviews always make me write faster, so you know what to do for a faster update.**

**Any questions? You can find me on twitter at emeralddahlia**

Next update: Could take a while, aiming for a week, but no promises. Sorry about that.


	6. Chapter 6 Smoke

Hi!

Thank you for the reviews, story alerts and 'favoriting' the story. It means a lot.

For those of you that are interested, there is a pictease for this chapter and a picture of someone I see as Lauren on my profile. So if you like visualizing things go check it out.

Thank you to **PTB** members **OTD673** and **korrinneraylie** for all their help. Thank you to OTD673 for all her suggestions and encouragement, I don't know what I'd do without her.

Also, thank you to sunshine state for her help with entrepreneurship.

**I keep saying this because I realize how important it is to warn you guys. This story does involve abuse and assault. They are a major part of the story to come. So please keep that in mind as you continue on with the story. I'd rather not elaborate because I prefer to keep the story to myself for now. If it helps, any scenes on the topic won't be overbearingly graphic.**

Here is the next chapter. Hope you like it.

* * *

**Chapter 6 - Smoke**

The giant doors opened, revealing an exquisite hall. Satin flowed from the walls, singing and dancing with shifting lights.

The effect was wonderful, almost magical, but before I had a chance to further appraise my surroundings, I was rudely interrupted by numerous click sounds.

I turned to inspect the annoying disturbance that was distracting me.

_Flash. Flash. Flash._

Bright lights snapped at me, blinding me. I started to bring a hand up to protect my eyes, but my arm was grasped tightly by a red tipped claw throwing me off balance.

_Being blinded and unstable was not a good look for me. _

I blinked rapidly, trying to protect my eyes and to come back to equilibrium. When my eyes found their focus, they moved to the owner of the blood red nails. I shrunk back slightly as I saw the look in Mrs. Mallory's eyes.

On the outside she seemed pleasant, proper and glamorous. Her face was in the prim business demeanor. Her eyes told an entirely different story. They flew across my profile accusingly, taking in my 'not so low cut' dress before they found mine, burning me with ferocity of their silent glare.

Her nails dug deeper into the pale skin of my arm, a silent punishment. She tugged on my arm abruptly, causing my entire body to whip in the direction of the cameras.

She smiled her vicious smile, her ruby lips curving into the familiar devious smirk. They were the same color as her dress. Her eyes shone with supremacy. She looked ruthless, as though she had stepped out of hell.

_She is truly the devil's advocate._

She looked at me and nodded towards the camera, her eyes warning me. I looked towards the camera and tried to smile.

After a while she began, "This is Isabella Swan, editor of our very own Paxiou. She has been working with us for the past two months. She is fresh out of the university but don't let that fool you, we wouldn't settle for anyone inexperienced." She continued on listing my achievements, my work experience, even my extracurricular activities.

I stood there, shocked, I hardly knew her, yet it surprised me how much she had acquired about me in the short time I had known her. She had never spoken personally to me apart from the interview. It was as if she had memorized my resume word for word.

_I'm just an employee. How can she know so much?_

I doubted I could say more than five straight facts about her. No one knew who the real Mrs. Mallory was. What we saw was a stunning lady whose actions spoke louder than words, one who could achieve stars if she reached for them.

Her mesmerizing tone spoke so proudly about me. I almost believed I had all the qualities she emphasized. She was so convincing…everything she said _was _the truth.

In fact, it was more than that, she had a belief and she made sure everyone believed it, too.

The cameramen listened, enamored by the smooth texture of her voice, while I just stood next to this beauty queen in my awkward gawkiness.

The cameramen kept clicking, making me more self-conscious with every passing moment. I could see myself from the eyes of others, an outcast in the midst of flashes. I couldn't hold up any longer, I didn't want any of it. I wanted to run to my safe haven, the shadows. My shoulders hunched to protect myself.

They were relentless, they went on and on, beeps and clicks as the blaring music blasted in my ears.

I couldn't take it…I wouldn't take it. I moved to pull away from Mrs. Mallory.

But she wouldn't let me.

Her dangerous fingers tightened on my arm, her nails sliding into the crescents they had left before.

I was trapped.

My eyes flew to her stunning face. She didn't meet my eyes, she kept entrancing, charming all those around her, luring them to come and join her in her empty darkness. Not once did her voice waver in response to my troubled gaze.

My throat tightened as my chest heaved and my vision blurred.

_She wasn't going to let go. _

I searched frantically for help, for Jess, even Mike. No one came to help me; they were all too lost in the charm of the night's glamour. My eyes probed hopelessly, screaming for help, until…

…they found two shining green orbs in the shadows.

The shadows were his friends like they were mine. His penetrating gaze was focused on me.

He stared at me impassively, and I stared right back. It was survival in the current situation, making it more bearable. I was taking my chances.

Leaning against the dark brown wall, his lanky frame was enveloped in a midnight black suit. The white collar stood out against the dark cloth. The top of his face was illuminated by the faint, yellow light from a far removed lamp. Only his eyes were visible.

And the pull was stronger than ever.

His intent, pensive gaze never left mine. It inexplicably soothed me, comforted me. I felt my too tense shoulders move down as a breathless sigh escaped from my lips. It was so much easier to breathe.

Soon other feelings made themselves known.

My heart thudded loudly in my ears. My eyes widened, not with fear this time but with shock. My mouth fell open to accommodate my sudden need for more air. My hair stood up in attention as the charge struck me in full force.

_Oh my God!_

It was unbelievable, it was impossible. I had heard of it in books, stories, but I couldn't comprehend why my whole body became alive in seconds, why my breaths staggered. The location never mattered, only one person did. Edward. He could do this to me anywhere. It took just one look and I wasn't Bella anymore.

I didn't recognize my body as my own. It was a stranger, just like the current sensations running through me.

He watched me but never approached. His eyes grew darker; he must have felt it, too. His body enacted the same steps mine had taken. He pushed back from the wall, the movement causing the light to reveal his whole face to me.

His lips softly parted. I longed to hear the reflection of my prior sigh, but I could feel it. The tendrils on my forehead floated away as they felt it.

Mrs. Mallory tugged on my arm, trying to get my attention. I painfully broke myself away from him to look at her. She stared at me, confused by my lost look. Unable to stop myself, I glanced back at Edward.

I shot him a pleading look as I registered a sharp pain in my arm.

_Help me, _I begged miserably.

Edward stood up straighter, his eyes wide. He started walking towards me, letting the charge lead him this time. His strong strides made their way across the room, each step relaxing my body further.

Waiters stopped in their tracks when their paths crossed with his, the crowd parted to open up for him. He emanated authority, bystanders could feel it and moved away to open the imaginary doors that led him to me

I had no clue why his intimidating power attracted me, how it pulled me in a bit deeper every time.

Mrs. Mallory was relentless, her pride wouldn't accept defiance, she yanked my arm harder.

_Okay, now she's really hurting me._

I looked up to find myself face to face with the owner of the deepest eyes I had ever seen. His eyes always gave him away, being the mirrors to his soul

Mrs. Mallory instantly let go. I rubbed my arm trying to soothe the pain. Edward's eyes followed my movement. His jaw clenched as his eyes turned darker.

"Mrs. Mallory, may I have a word with you?" He said without moving his eyes from mine, emeralds brimming with concern.

His voice was music too my ears, like the sweetest strings of waves crashing against the shore. The velvety, dulcet sound laced with anger was too magnificent to hold any fault. I wanted to close my eyes to focus all my senses to it. I wanted to step closer to take in his scent, it's slight, yet strong smell was so tantalizing at my distance. The memory fresh in my mind begged to be revived again.

Then something happened that I would have never believed was possible.

Lauren Mallory stuttered.

_She goddamn stuttered._

"Uh… uh…of… of course, Mr… Mr. Cullen."

I had an idiotic urge to snicker and sing 'Nah naa, boo boo!'

I tried to hide my smile, but it took a hell lot of effort because I was so jubilant. Mrs. Mallory passed me, her stiff posture indicating her anger. As I watched her departing back, I turned to Edward.

I gratefully smiled at him, trying to communicate my gratitude.

He stared at me indifferently, eyes blank, face cold. He turned without returning my smile, following Mrs. Mallory. I felt disheartened and stupid for my uncharacteristic enthusiasm which triggered such a reaction from him.

_Why can't he return a smile? What, too cool to be true? And what is it with me?_

I watched him walk away, the charge dimmed, weakening with each step his feet moved him away from me. The energy drained from my body, making the excitement follow behind it.

He halted his steps, causing the charge I felt between us go on overdrive; my heartbeat thudding like I had just ran a marathon. Hope bloomed deep within my core, coming unbidden to my mind.

I held my breath as his neck turned. His eyes met mine before he gave me a brief secret smile. I smiled back, helpless at stopping myself from reciprocating.

He gave me an amused looked, lips pressed together, again, to control his laughter at my silly smile.

_I did that…again!_

I mouthed, "thank you."

He shook his head, smiling to himself, before following Mrs. Mallory outside the door, leaving me smiling behind him.

_He's my knight. My savior sent personally from heaven._

I don't know how long I stood there trying to reconstruct the image of his luscious lips curving into a delicate smile. A shake on my shoulder and a squeal brought me to the present.

Jessica was smiling so widely that I was surprised it didn't hurt.

_Perhaps her smile is as big as her mouth._

"You know him, don't you?" She exclaimed, eyes wide and shining with exuberance.

"Oh my God, you _do_ know Edward Cullen. That boy is hot property!"

_Always the multi-tasker, asking and answering the questions._

I briefly contemplated telling her that I had no idea who he was, but I figured it would be fun messing with her head a bit.

"Of course, Jess. I met him at the art exhibition a few weeks back."

The look on Jess's face told me she was about to go straight for the kill. Edward would definitely have a volunteer for tonight. I don't know why that thought made me feel sick. I knew despite Jess's infatuation with Mike, she was not one to be faithful. She would be too willing to hitch a ride with the closest 'piece of meat'.

Was that what was going to happen tonight? Edward with Jessica?

I knew I was being absurd; Jess and Edward were miles apart. However, the strange feeling of uneasiness at the prospect of seeing them together was unmistakable. I tried to shove it off, but my insecurities were too deep rooted.

An image of them wrapped in an intimate embrace played in my mind.

I grasped the pillar behind me forcefully, my fingers pressing into the cool stone. I pushed harder trying to force my anger onto it. Silly tears burned my eyes, as our previous meeting invaded my mind again. The memory was relentless; my mind replayed it repeatedly, no matter how hard I tried to force it away.

"Bella, are you ok?" Jessica asked, a pensive expression on her face.

"I'm fine, just really hungry." I said as nonchalantly as I could. I left quickly, making a beeline for the washroom. I rushed to the stall, shutting the door behind me before turning and slumping against the door. I bought my fingers to my wet eyes, pressing against my tear ducts to stop the tears from flowing.

But the traitors that they were they broke past my fingers and started flooding down my cheeks.

I didn't know why I was being so emotional. I looked at the ceiling in a vain attempt to calm down.

_For God's sake get yourself together. Where is your dignity?_

I put the flush seat down and sat on it before I put my face in my hands. I was being pathetic. I fished out a mirror from my handbag.

_Fabulous._

One of the biggest faults of nature when God was constructing my face was my nose. It had the ability to turn the most brilliant shades of red. Currently, my pale skin contrasted sharply with the red fixture. It was going to take forever for it to get back to its normal color. I contemplated dumping loads of foundation on my nose, but that would become far too noticeable later on.

Unable to come up with a solution, I called the only person who I knew could help.

Jasper Hale.

After dialing Jazz's number, I held the phone close to my ear.

_Pick up the phone, Jazz. Pick up!_

Jazz never disappoints.

"My lovely!" I rolled my eyes.

_Here we go again._

"Shut up, I'm in a situation here," I whispered, mindful of any others that may be entering the washroom.

"Why are you whispering?" His voice grew frantic then, "Are you in trouble? Where the hell are you?" He paused and then spoke quickly. "Have you been crying? I'm coming there right now," Jazz said, panicked, shooting one question after the other.

"Relax, Jazz. Stop overreacting. And I can answer only one question at a time. I'm fine. My makeup is smeared all over my face, and I've got a classic case of 'raccoon eyes'", I said.

"So you_ have_ been crying? Did someone say something?" He coaxed soothingly.

"It's nothing, my boss basically harassed me in public. I'll get to the details later when I come home. _Best of all_, my nose is looks like an ambulance's light. How can I go out there with my face looking like this?"

Jazz laughed.

"Can you stop laughing? It really doesn't help that I am sitting on a toilet seat," I whispered angrily.

That only made him laugh harder, "You're on the toilet?"

"Yes, Jazz. Now I need some help here," I demanded, tapping my foot on the white tiles.

"Bella, what do you expect me to do, it's not like I'm Alice! I don't do makeup," he protested.

"But you're the closest person I know to a girl, at least you can empathize," I mumbled pathetically.

"Do you want me to hang up? Be nice or…" he trailed off.

"Okay, what do I do now? I need to get my face bacl to normal color."

"I'll talk to you," he said lamely.

"Isn't that what we are doing already? Even you can do better, Jazz!" I practically shouted, before continuing, "And guess what? It isn't helping one bit."

"Calm down, you're in a toilet! People are going to think you're going into labor."

We both paused before I giggled while Jazz chuckled at the sheer stupidity of the situation.

"Okay, Mr. Talker, what would like to talk about today?"

"I'll cheer you up," he answered as if it was the most brilliant answer in the world.

"Hmmm and how is that going to happen?"

Jazz then started singing from the most ridiculous advertisement made in history.

"Give me that filet-o-fish, give me that fish

Give me that filet-o-fish, give me that fish

What if it were you hangin' up that wall

If it were you in that sandwich, you wouldn't be laughin' at all," he drawled with a Texan twang.

I pressed a hand to my mouth in a feeble attempt to muffle my laughter.

"I can't believe you just sang that!" I choked on my words.

"See, you sound much better now," he said smugly.

"You sound like an 'agony aunt'," I shot back.

"Just one of my many talents, darlin'. Now before you snap back, go wash your face and take a fresh breath of air outside," he ordered.

I smiled, _he was my agony aunt, alright._

"Love you, despite your arrogant smugness," I said adoringly.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled shyly. "Remember chin up, Swan," he forced out, seriously.

"Bye, my lovely," he said sweetly.

After ending the call, I bent down to the wash basin, humming the awful song from the McDonald's advertisement.

* * *

After my trip from the washroom, I swiftly turned to the double doors, practically running out of the hall, eager to put as much distance as I could between Mrs. Mallory and I.

I searched for a closer way out of the hotel than the one that leading to the lobby.

The dark night shone from a glass door deeper down the hallway that led to the party hall.

"Miss Swan," I heard Mrs. Mallory call. My eyes shifted to the door and then back to the direction from which Mrs. Mallory's voice came.

My decision was made and put into action before my mind had a chance to catch up.

I rushed down the hall, my heels soundlessly moving fast on the carpeted floor. I pushed the door open and stepped outside before closing it behind me securely.

I let out a relieved breath.

_Phew, that was close._

That's what I thought until I turned.

_Oh Hell!_

A very tense Edward was pacing back and forth on the porch. Bathed in the moonlight, his strained posture presented him as an avenging angel. He eyes glinted with anger, his pale jaw muscles stood out with exertion. His shiny bronze hair projected in a haphazard array, no doubt a result of his insistent pulling.

A strong hand pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. A lone cigarette was expertly caressed by two fingers before his mouth took on the task. I watched, mesmerized, as he cupped the air in an effort to preserve the flame.

A flame that mirrored one burning with desire in my stomach.

A cloud of smoke was puffed out with an angry huff, adding to his heavenly appeal. He raised his face to the sky, closing his eyes in what seemed to be an attempt to control himself. The whirls of wind ruffled his hair mixing with the smoke.

He pulled his phone out and clicked a button, still facing away from me.

I stood staring at his back, while he waited for the person on the other side of the line to pick up the phone. He leaned down; resting his forearms on the railing while another a cloud joined the first one. The wind wafted the scent to me, tickling my nostrils with the unique aroma of Edward.

"Leah."

Hearing the melodic voice utter the name of another was all it took for my heart to drop to my stomach. I turned away to give him the privacy he deserved to talk with his intimate partner at this ungodly hour.

As my hand moved to the handle, I heard him speak in his familiar emotionless voice.

"This is absolutely inexcusable."

My hand paused, I knew I was eavesdropping but I couldn't stop my curiosity from getting the best of me.

"I find it extremely interesting to know you think you have the right to set up my schedule without consulting me," he continued coldly, rolling the cigarette between his fingers. He brought it to his eye level, seeming entranced by the burning end.

My brow furrowed, from the sounds of it, Leah was only Edward's secretary.

"You have been given far too many chances, Leah. This is the last time I am giving you an opportunity to redeem yourself.

You have one hour. Sixty minutes to come up with a good enough reason to get me out of this hell or I will expect your resignation on my desk when I get back. I believe in giving my employees the opportunity to gracefully exit before I am forced to terminate them, so technically I am giving you the benefit of the doubt," he said calmly, effectively closing the topic.

"Goodnight, Leah. I hope to receive a call from you within the next," he paused, his head bowing down to read his watch, "Fifty-eight minutes to be exact, or I am afraid this will be our last conversation."

Without waiting for a response he flicked the phone closed, slipping it smoothly into his pant pocket. Straightening out, one hand lifted the cigarette to his mouth for a lengthy drag.

_Poor Leah._

I wonder what Leah had done to deserve the wrath of Edward, but maybe, I did know it. He was forced to attend this party like I was. Contrary to the way I expected Edward to act tonight, the Edward standing before my eyes was seemingly as repulsed by the atmosphere in the hall as I was. I had never bet that our thoughts would line up, but with him everything was a coincidence. The more I tried to dig deeper, the harder I fell.

Figuring it was a good time to slip out, I moved towards the door glancing repeatedly towards him to make sure he didn't notice me. I moved on my tip toes, mindful of the noise my heels were capable of making.

But as usual things always went worse when Edward was around, and the wood beneath my feet creaked, protesting under my weight. I wanted to groan, being beyond mortified.

Edward's face whipped around, furious green emeralds locking with my apprehensive brown eyes, an angry impression embellished on his face.

_Busted.

* * *

_

**A/N: How did that go? What happens next? Any guesses?**

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Would love to hear from the anonymous readers too!

Thanks for reading this guys! There are so many fics out there, thank you for taking the time to read mine.

**Have a great day!**

**-ED  
**


	7. Chapter 7 Farewell

Hello all!

Thank you for the reviews, story alerts and 'favoriting' the story. For an obsessive email checker like me, each one is treat. I hope you all continue to deliver your opinions, and I wish more silent readers will let me know their thoughts this time. Oh, and thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed every chapter of this story, the reviews totally make me ecstatic.

**Once again, this story involves abuse and assault. Heavily. I will try my best to ensure that related chapters do not become overwhelmingly graphic. Please consider yourself warned, the topics are controversial and may be offensive to some.**

Thank you to **PTB** members **PunkyBumpkin **and a second beta (who forgot to leave their name) for their help with all my errors and for providing very useful suggestions. A big, big thank you to **OTD673** who pre-read the chapter in the morning and gave me such quick feedback, and who never complains when I constantly ask for help.

So here's the next chapter.

* * *

** Chapter 7 – Farewell**

Time froze. Scratch that, I was frozen.

Still on my tip toes, I held my breath as Edward looked at me in stony silence. The anger refused to dissolve from his eyes, the green unblinkingly holding me.

_Oh please, God, make me disappear. I promise I'll go to church every Sunday._

The cigarette was raised slowly. Only to be abruptly dropped to the floor. His shiny, pointy, black shoes rose before coming down, effectively putting out the burning ember. Not once did his eyes leave mine. His fists curled up as he exhaled heavily, closing his eyes yet again.

Only this time I was the cause of his distress.

"You shouldn't be here."

_No shit._

He spoke firmly, but the hidden tinge of concern made me feel like a misbehaved child. His glower, punctuated by his height, made me feel smaller…more pathetic.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, chastened, looking down at my feet, unable to hold his gaze.

"You didn't look like the type," he murmured, his voice getting quieter, losing its harshness.

"I didn't…I mean, I just…," I stammered, feeling as though I was at a loss as to how to handle the situation. I still couldn't gather the courage to look up and face the disappointment directed at me in full force by his expressive beams.

"It's fine," he said dismissively. "Did you need one?"

_What?_

My confusion made me raise my eyes to his. He held a white box to me. A cigarette box. An emotionless "I don't care what you do" expression etched on his face. My feet involuntarily moved me back, shock increasing the distance between me and him.

Shaking my head, I said, "No, thank you. I don't smoke." I anxiously clasped my hands in front of me, nervously licking my lips, pointedly looking at his forehead.

His raised his eyebrows disbelievingly before gazing at me speculatively."Then what are you doing here?" Authority clouded his voice.

I looked down again, ashamed of my behavior. Mentally, I answered, _I'm_ _spying on you and am currently on the run, saving my life from the she-devil and her red claws._

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he tried to say calmly but his voice betrayed him, screaming frustration.

Gingerly, I looked at him, blushing like a fool. He was glaring at me, just like the first time we had crossed paths. Well, I had crossed his path and head-butted him…And just like the first time, I was caught in a spell. His ferocity only made him more beautiful. Like a burning, bright fire in the darkest of nights.

He pointed his chin in the direction of the exit I had taken. I glanced back to find a large sign with "SMOKING AREA" painted in large, red letters.

_In my defense, it was dark…_

"I guess I didn't see that," I said, looking back at him.

"No, I assume you don't see a lot of things," he replied, eyes crinkling and looking down with mirth. It was then that I discovered that Edward used his eyes more than those curvy lips to smile. An eye smiler…

In response, I just shrugged, embarrassed. My red cheeks possibly matching my nose.

Edward leaned back, letting his elbows rest on the railing. He lazily gazed at me before his eyes zeroed in on my nose.

"What happened to your nose?" he asked, leaning in closer to get a better look, my heart buzzing a frantic beat. Interest being the predominant emotion his face gave away, concern a close second.

_Think, you fool! Think!_

I bit my lip trying to come up with a sensible excuse. I wanted to bang my head on the damn glass door to thrash and throw all my tongue-tiedness out the window. I blurted out the first thing that struck my mind. As usual, my mind failed at the first sign of emergency management.

"I ran into one stall at the washroom."

_Dear God, if you are still considering my proposition, you're getting very late. Hurry!_

Edward pressed a pale, strong fist against his mouth. Lavender lids closed over his brilliant green beams. He closed his eyes a lot, I noticed idly.

The wind whistled while Edward rested his eyes. I looked down at my hands, growing more nervous by the pin drop silence. He was in a world of his own, giving me a chance to observe him boldly. His eyes were scrunched up in what looked like an effort to calm his breaths. Two horizontal deep lines distorted the skin of his forehead. Tense waves of pale skin curled above his bronze eyebrows, which were drawn to each other tightly, transforming his face into a troubled expression. Edward's eyes flickered open, meeting mine from under his lashes, a look that pulled me a few footsteps closer. He raised his face completely and uttered a single word.

"Bullshit."

_Perfect word to describe my evening._

My eyes widened, taking in Edward's sudden use of brash language. Edward straightened out, adopting his former body language. The tense persona. The no-nonsense frame.

"Do you have a ride home?" He demanded harshly. His towering body moved closer, invading my personal space, making breathing evenly the hardest thing on this planet. The ice in his glare implored me to answer honestly.

I shook my head quietly, muted by his implausible fury.

He spun around, traipsing his way to the glass doors while I stood rooted to the ground. He stopped a few steps short of the doors. He turned his head slightly, acknowledging me yet not looking at me, body still angled forward.

"You coming?"

"Where… are we… going?" I half-stuttered, taking deep breaths midway.

_Please, not there. I'm not ready to go back just yet._

What had slipped by me unconsciously was my instinctive confirmation that there was going to be a "we" tonight.

"Let's get you home. I think you've had enough for one night," he said quietly, his mature tone drilling in the fact that he was, as a matter of fact, ten years older than me. Age, indeed, had more subtle ways of showing itself.

He made it sound so easy. A quick elope, an easy escape. The relief, though quick, would be short-lived. Monday morning, Mrs. Mallory would be the judge in my court, and the decision would undoubtedly be the worst penalty. Leaving tonight would shun my role as a responsible employee. As much as I wanted to say "yes," I was bound.

Bracing myself, I said with conviction, "No, I can't. I need to be here; it is a part of my job."

A flash flew through me, making me catch my breath. It was Edward's haunted, disappointed look when I had declined his offer for a lift.

I was firm on my rules tonight; there were no two ways. I _was_ doing the right thing by staying back. Or, at least, that's what I was trying to convince myself of.

My decision felt unsteady as the ghosts of the earth shattering music down the hallway played in my ears, the fake chortles joining it. The accompanying imaginary smell of sweat and alcohol stung my nostrils.

_You can do this! You have done it before, only a few more hours left._

"Still contemplating?"

I looked up to see Edward leaning against the red brick wall, one leg propped against it to support him. I didn't know what to say, so I simply stuck to the safer option. I chose truth.

"Yes," I admitted, ashamed to even consider making a run for it.

"You're already breaking the rules," he said softly. The softness was deceptive; it sounded almost… personal to him, as if he was talking of his own set of rules.

Seeing the confusion clearly on my face, he continued, "This", he waved his hand around us, signaling to the porch, "is not part of the party. You are not in the hall."

His tone was not accusatory, it was only a matter of fact way of addressing a situation. I sadly realized how right he was; I was seeking refuge here. Whether I went with Edward or spent the rest of night here, the outcome would be the same: I wasn't attending the party.

"Either way, you won't be attending the party," he said, reiterating my thoughts.

Staying out here or leaving both counted as false appearances. Decision made, I turned to Edward.

"Lead the way."

Edward didn't say anything or smile, he simply held his hand out. Without waiting for a second, I grasped it tightly with my own, letting our palms connect and the charge hum though my veins. He glided purposefully out through the glass doors, all the while keeping my hand tightly clasped in his large, warm one, his steps guiding mine.

The distinct feeling of stepping out of a fairytale took over my senses.

It was magical.

A handsome prince led me to the palace's doors, the lights twinkling around me representing the ancient lanterns winking me best of luck for a new life. The hotel's staff bowed in respect before opening the doors to a "happily ever after".

I knew I was playing with fire but I couldn't find it in me to stop anymore. It didn't seem dangerous anymore.

When we stepped outside to wait for his car to arrive, I pretended to not notice how the lapels on his jacket flew open by the wind, revealing his fit physique. Or how the sweet breeze shuffled his bronze feathers into the most delicious, tangible mess.

That's when it hit me. We were running away together from the hideous party.

_Why, that sneaky…_

So_ I _was giving him the excuse he needed to leave. I looked at Edward sideways at the same time I caught him looking at me. We both pretended to cover up by looking the other way. Awkwardly, we both looked back sharing a short, shy smile.

The valet brought a black Aston Vanquish rather than the Volvo I was anticipating. The sleek black exterior shone in the moonlight, making me want to reach out the run my fingers along it to feel the cool metal. My carriage for tonight had arrived. Only the frilly curtains were replaced by smooth, tainted windows.

Edward let go of my hand to move forward and open the passenger door. I clenched my hand to overcome the distinct feeling of emptiness…of coldness. He held the door open ushering me into the car before moving around to take his own seat.

"Thanks for tonight," I began, trying to make small talk.

"Don't worry about it. You looked like you could use some help." he said smoothly, turning his head while reversing the car. After pulling onto the road, he kept his attention focused ahead.

_Yep, definitely not the conversationalist._

A heavy silence settled in the constraints of the car. Edward seemed nonplussed, completely focused on driving. I, on the other hand, kept my attention on his breaths, trying to hide my loud breathing by keeping pace with him.

He couldn't even ask me where to; he already knew. I wanted to turn up the radio up but Edward didn't look like the kind of guy that would enjoy my funky grooves. Not like I would demonstrate my awe-inspiring skills here.

Dancing to music was always so liberating when things got tough.

I had always been at a disadvantage when it came to dancing. The failed attempts to polish up my foot-body coordination were reflected in the number of bruised toes Jazz had accumulated over the years. Regardless, it was very lame to think that I practiced dancing with Jazz on jazz. We invented our own silly steps that never seemed to be in sync with the music; rather, we were very off beat.

Either way, it always pulled him out of his occasional sour moods. It took one angled twist of my hip and Jazz would fall off the sofa, laughing hysterically. After which he usually rolled around on the carpet, reminiscent of a dog. Jazz called me "Jazzy B."

It would be funny watching the serious Edward taking me in my jazzy glory. I snorted in amusement at a possible expression, all wide, bulging eyes and gaping mouth. That got Edward's attention, and he shot me a quizzical look.

"So you're from New York?" I hastily asked, scolding myself for my unladylike behavior.

"Yes," he murmured, distracted.

"How long before you return?" I asked, genuinely curious. I had seen him so often in the little while I had known him. I suspected he would be here for another two to three weeks.

"Two days," he said, a faraway look in his eyes. "Just two days," he repeated, his voice hardly a whisper.

_Two days…that's it._

The delight of my prior thoughts faded as a deep misery took its place.I would never see Edward again after two days. Period.

This could possibly be our very last meeting in this lifetime. Our worlds were separate, a fact now adamant on proving itself. There would be no more confusing encounters, no strange feelings, no unsettling tugs floating across the air. There would be no charge. No excitement. He was going, taking it all with him.

_He would be gone in two days. Two days._

Two days was all we had left.

And we wouldn't meet after unless we had another one of those coincidental encounters which had occurred quite a bit in the past few days. Imaginary forces kept trying to push us together again and again, but I couldn't understand their motives. It seemed liked a sign, but try as much as I did, I couldn't understand what it was pointing to.

Tonight was the last night. It was time to say goodbye.

I glanced at Edward, seeing a brooding stare focused forward. This was what was eating at him. Maybe something was holding him here, something pivotal. I couldn't fathom what a place like Seattle could hold for such a well-established New York-based entrepreneur.

I looked outside, trying to lose myself in the scenery that flew by. It was a poor effort; the feeling of dread settled in the pit of my stomach, pulling my heart and mind into dark depths. I pressed my fingers to my temple, trying to distract myself. My heart thumped loudly, refusing to keep quiet. My body didn't want to listen today. I fingered my silver chain, tugging it, twisting it.

_Relax, Bella. He is no one. He never will be._

That's what the problem was: he was someone. I hated goodbyes, hated the way my chest contracted around my torso to protect my heart as it wept tears. I didn't want to say goodbye.

Cowards ran away. Companions stayed back.

Renee was a coward.

But today my mind wouldn't let me believe Edward was one of them. The elemental connection refused to let me believe. I subtly rubbed my chest, trying to shut out the pain when my heart squeezed.

_He was going. He was going._

The line played on and on in my mind like one of those horrible grinding machines that just wouldn't shut up, the shrill, cutting noise effectively slicing all other sensations. I rocked back and forth slightly as I began to feel light-headed. I pressed my palm to my clammy forehead before pressing it to my mouth to stop the shuddering gasps I wanted to suck in.

In my befuddled state, I recognized the board. Alpine Street West. It was time. Time to say "hope you have a good life". Time to let destiny separate our paths.

Moisture collected in my eyes. I looked at the ceiling as I always did to stop them. I had never been more thankful for the darkness. My throat hurt by the sudden tightness; I roughly pressed into the fabric of my dress trying to alleviate some of pain.

_Deep breaths, Bella._

One tear escaped. Another followed it before they were all freely washing down my cheeks. I wiped my cheeks furiously with the back of my hand, all the while trying to breathe evenly. My chest burned with the lack of oxygen.

_Stop making a scene._

Edward silently held out a tissue box, still looking up front. I gratefully took the whole box, setting it down on my lap before noisily blowing my nose into one after the other.

_This was such a bad idea. Edward must be disgusted._

Edward acted as a gentleman and did not utter a single word, pretending not to notice my lush red nose.

The car came to a stop, my heart right beside it. Edward turned the car off, holding his hands still on the steering wheel. I didn't know what was louder: my heartbeat or my breaths. My eyes remained trained on his profile, hungrily gulping down all the details my human eyes could.

Edward turned to me before saying, "You've had a hard day. It's getting late, you might want to go inside."

He moved out of the car, making his way to my end before holding the door open for me, looking at me with dark, sad eyes. I was struck once again by how expressive his eyes were.

I guided myself out and Edward's hand instinctively went to touch my elbow. Seeing me upright, he pulled his hand away instantly, quickly looking down at the floor. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, hunching forward, looking like a teenage boy.

I knew I had to say something, but my mouth wouldn't open.

"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Bella," he said, his voice radiating sincerity.

I nodded, unable to speak as more tears pooled. He took my hand, graciously bowing down giving it a swift, warm kiss.

"Goodbye, Bella," he said, despair masking his face and voice.

I said with my eyes what I couldn't say with my mouth. _Farewell_. I turned around, my feet heavily dragging me forward.

"Wait!"

I stopped, quickly facing him.

"What are you doing this Sunday?" he asked, hesitantly.

_We are down to small talk now?_

My lips, formerly glued, opened of their own accord, my voice determinedly floating out.

"I'm going to be working at the flower shop at Woodsworth Avenue," I said as I recalled my conversation with Angela Weber.

Angela and I had known each other since high school. She had moved to Seattle and owned a small flower shop. Unfortunately, she couldn't afford the high tuition of university and didn't want to take a student loan. Her boyfriend, Ben, had asked her to spend a day with him out of town at a beach, but she couldn't close her shop on weekends when she had so many customers come in.

"_Angela, I can't! Oh please, spare my weekend. I love my weekends."_

"_Please Bella! I am begging you, it's just for one day…"_

"_Ange, I don't even know flower names. I would be a pathetic attendant!"_

"_I'll give you a catalogue stating the names, but I doubt you will use it. Most customers just point to the flowers. Please Bella, don't say no. If Ben proposes, I promise you will be my Maid of Honor!"_

_Who could have resisted such an offer?_ I had thought sardonically, especially a person like me. After 15 minutes of groveling by Angela and a couple of "_No_s" by me, I had finally given in, sacrificing my weekend.

"Oh, that's great," Edward mumbled, pulling me back to the current situation.

"Yeah, I guess it is," I said, trying to come to terms with the strange conversation.

Edward looked up suddenly, all bright eyes. He had an idea. I'd bet my life on it.

"I have a family party in the evening. Would you mind if I dropped by to pick some flowers for my mother?" he asked expectantly, almost eagerly. His hands were behind his back as he waited for my answer, slightly leaning forward.

"Sure, the more customers the better, right?" I joked, but my joke fell flat along with Edward's face.

"Yes, that's true," he said, his face as crestfallen as his voice.

Conflicted between staying and running to the secure confines of my apartment, I said, "I guess I'll see you then."

Edward's expression lifted slightly. He gave me a small lop-sided smile that made him look like an adorable, mischievous child up to no good.

_Why is all this so confusing? And why is he so mercurial?_

"Bye."

"Goodbye, Edward. Thanks for tonight, again." I smiled, shifting from one foot to another.

"No problem. Always glad to be of service."

We stood for a while longer, shyly smiling at each other. Edward's hands dug deeper in his pockets as he alternated looking from me to the floor.

Eventually, Edward leaned back on the car, looking down at his watch. "You need to go in now, Bella," he said, laughter evident in his eyes.

I blinked, flushing all over and trying to get a grip on my "dazeiness." "Right," I mumbled incoherently, rushing to the doors of the building. I paused at the doors turning to look at Edward. Still leaning on the car in his lanky build, he looked like he was starring in an advertisement endorsing the car…or him.

_Snap out of it!_

I lifted my hand in a half-wave, feeling like an idiot because I knew he wouldn't reciprocate. To my surprise, he did with a very suave glide of his own, seeming embarrassed as his cheeks tinted a light pink and he pulled his collar from his neck, a nervous gesture.

_You've got to be joking. Edward Cullen's blushing?_

I quickly made my way inside before he would be forced to remind me my destination. I all but breezed through the lobby, dancing in silly exuberance, swinging my handbag over my head like a cowboy.

The moment didn't last too long. My balance made it a point to be noticed as my foot slipped, sending my handbag flying. I watched in horror as my bag collided in the most spectacular way with face of the old watchman who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The blow set his glasses off for a touch-down.

_Oh no!_

Mr. McAdams was quite…grouchy, for the lack of a better word. At 65 years of age, he was always in a bad mood; morning or night, winter or summer, the same bitter face colored with age-lines remained. Squinting eyes behind his antique frames glared at every passing person. He was a buzz killer, short and simple.

Now, he glared at me.

_Why is this happening to me? Just great, keep testing your skills, Bella._

"I am so very sorry, Mr. McAdams." I apologized repeatedly, profusely, as I made my way to his frames, picking them up. I inspected them for damage and was exceptionally pleased when I found no cracks or breaks.

"Here you go," I said as I held the glasses for him to take. He stared at me sourly, his squinty, angry eyes focused on me. He snatched his glasses back.

"You kids come parading here whenever you feel like," he coughed, his voice sounded scratchy from disuse, "as though it's your own house."

_Well, technically it is my own "house."_

I chose not to voice my thoughts, deciding he didn't have the patience to deal with me now. I quietly slipped out while he held his specs in front of him, looking for minute faults.

_Buzz killer._

I entered my apartment, drained from the day. I collapsed on the sofa, kicking off my shoes before stretching out my legs and wiggling my toes. I opened my arms, resting them on the arm rests. It felt _so_ good.

There was no sign of Jazz, adding to the peace and quiet. I remembered I had to call Angela to remind her to bring the catalogue on Sunday morning.

_Must all good things end?_

Stretching out, I made my way to the phone.

Half an hour later, I was still on the phone. Angela was going over the likes of some regular when I heard the door open.

"My lovely! Where are you?" Jazz called, and then started making stupid kissing sounds. "I miss you! I miss you! Come out wherever you are!"

I rolled my eyes at his foolish antics. On the other side of the line, Angela was giggling like a four year old.

"That's Jazz, I have to go. Drop the catalogue at my place before you leave in the morning."

"Sure thing. Thanks for doing this, Bella. I really do appreciate it," she said between giggles.

"No problem. Enjoy yourself while you're at it. Good night!"

"Good night and sweet dreams." I closed the phone at the same time Jazz burst in.

"You're home early!"

He fell on his knees with a love-struck expression and opened his arms. I threw the cordless phone at him and he caught it and held it close to his heart.

"A token of love," he said reverently. I rolled my eyes at him and walked out of the room to fix him some dinner, knowing he wouldn't have eaten yet.

"So how did it go? And will you tell me now?" he asked, catching up with me.

"I don't want to talk about it now. Maybe tomorrow," I said firmly, not wanting to go into the story of the night.

"Okay," he agreed, sighing happily.

"Why the sudden excitement?" I inquired while I prepared him a turkey sandwich.

"I am going out with Alice on the weekend," he said airily. "She said 'yes'!"

He grinned and started dancing around the room like a careless clown. I watched him as he jumped onto our favorite sofa and then pretended to play an air guitar making me chuckle at his childlike enthusiasm. He was down right cute when he was so happy.

_Boys._

"Wow! What was she thinking? The beast is about to be unleashed!"

Jazz just grinned, frantically nodding his head, looking like a puppet on display. "Oh, yes!" he exclaimed and pumped his fist into the air.

With that, we started laughing and fell into our comfortable routine of having dinner together. Even if it was 2 in the morning.

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**A/N: **How did that go? Above or below expectations? What do you think will happen on Sunday? Let me know by clicking on that lovely Review button.

So the next chapter is a big turn in the story, almost monumental. We are pretty much done with the background.

The pictease for the next chapter will be available on my profile soon. The others are on there already.

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Have a great day and thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8 Malady

Thank you for all your continued support. Thank you for letting me know your views, it's very stimulating and interesting to read them. I really hope all of you continue to read the story as it progresses.

**This story involves abuse and assault quite heavily. Please be cautious as you read this chapter.**

Thank you to PTB members **OTD673** and **Nijiska**. I make a lot of errors, thank you so much for helping me with them. Thank you to **OTD673** who keeps helping me at ungodly hours and who is very cool. Thank you, I don't say it enough.

This is a turning point in the story, probably one not many of you expected. I don't know what to say. Just read, and for this chapter I would really, really appreciate your views.

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**Chapter 8 -Malady**

Sunday brought a bleak, gloomy morning. I woke up to the sound of someone howling in pain. I jolted up and scrambled out of my bed to the source of the sound. Half asleep, with my alarm clock as my sole source of defense, I walked out of the room, caught between fear and worry for Jazz. I lowered by body in a protective crouch ready to pounce or thrash the alarm clock like a coconut on any unidentified head. The shouts of pain lowered to soft, almost soundless whimpers coming from the source…

_Which was my bathroom?_ _What the hell?_

The howler was none other than my very own precious Mr. Hale.

"What's going on Jazz, you okay?" I asked, knocking on the door fervently, scared.

"I'm fine," Jazz shouted back, "I stubbed by my toe while shaving and cut myself."

On any other occasion, the situation would have made me laugh but today I was angry, very angry.

_How dare he use my washroom?_

Ordinarily, Jazz was a pleasant, well-mannered man but toilets were not exactly Jazz's forte. Every time Jazz evacuated the washroom, I was left to deal with the after-effects of a giant tsunami. It was my lifetime mission to discover what he did behind closed lavatories…of course, apart from the usual. At times I expected him to be jumping around like the wrestlers on TV, which he had very lovingly enacted during our young days. The masculine punches and kicks transformed into skinny limbs flying haphazardly to unknown locations. Fortunately, I had never been a target, not like I would have gotten hurt anyway.

"Let me see my washroom. Open the door," I commanded, trying to stop myself from banging the door.

_Damn, I am going to have to clean again! All that lazy lad knows how to do is to climb into my well-worn sofa and stuff himself._

I stood in my _Winnie the Pooh_ nightie, with my hands on my hips, feet tapping impatiently on the tiled floor to keep them from kicking the goddamn door. I glared at the door waiting for his glorious response.

"Um Bella, I don't think that's feasible in my current state of dress."

_Oh_. I blushed and mumbled an apology before running off to the kitchen in my haste to get away. _He didn't have to say that, _I thought indignantly, as I made my way to the kitchen.

Minutes later, after moaning about my washroom and mixing pancake batter, I was just getting ready to pour the mixture into the pan when I heard the doorbell. Wiping my hands, I made my way to the door, opening it to show a very vibrant Angela, who pulled me into a big hug.

"Hi Bella!" She chimed. _You gotta give it to her, the girl has got enthusiasm._

"Hi Angela," I said, returning the heartfelt hug. As silly as it sounded, she was sunshine, radiating warmth wherever she went.

"Here, this is the catalogue and the uniform." She said, handing me an ugly, olive green apron.

"Come in, Jazz is here, and I'm making breakfast. Do you want to call Ben and invite him over too?" I asked, contemplating a way to get out of my hideous night outfit, one I had used since high school. Angela fiddled with her hands, looking uncomfortable before suddenly blurting, "He wants alone time with me!"

She started blushing and stuttering something about cars and cakes, and before long we had both collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Okay," I said, prolonging the word to give her the clue that I really understood. Right, I thought sarcastically. I was just pulling her leg. "I'll let you go, since I know that he is not a patient man," I tried to say with a straight face, pushing her toward admitting she couldn't wait either.

Incidentally, she took it as her cue to leave. Smacking my arm lightly, she gave me a flirty little smile and a suggestive wiggle of her eyebrows before disappearing into the lift.

_What have you gotten yourself into, Ben?_

I looked down at the ugly apron with an extremely geeky 'Flowery' written on it.

_This was going to be one hell of a day…_

~x~x~x~x~

I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

_Let's face it, I look like an idiot_.

The oversized apron made me look ridiculous. It did not help that my white shirt and yellow skirt clashed horribly with it, the loose sides lifting off from my body. An inartistic, immature drawing of a magenta flower adorned the front of the frilly apron. I had left my hair down, they were wet and non-compromising today, so I had just given up. Giving myself a last look, I sighed.

_Hopeless doesn't even come close to my fashion sense. _

Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the room, looking down because I was too embarrassed to face Jazz. I began nonchalantly looking for my sandals. Well, that was until I heard Jazz's cackling laughter.

I groaned and scolded, "Shut up! You should at least keep your thoughts to yourself."

Unashamed, Jazz continued laughing until he was coughing since he had been eating before my elegant entrance. After calming down slightly, he rested his chin on his palm and gazed at me with speculative eyes, a few puffs of laughter still escaping.

"Bella, you look like an environmentalist with all the green. Above all, you look exceptionally sizzling," he said, fanning himself as his voice wavered from the restraint of holding his chortles down. Eventually, he just gave up, leaning back and laughing his heart out while I fumed. Angrily, I went and slapped him on the back of his head. Hard.

"Ow!" Jazz exclaimed, rubbing his head. All the while grinning while his gaze remained glued on the flower.

"Don't show me those teeth or they won't last long," I threatened. Jazz bent down holding his stomach, "Oh please, stop!" He laughed on his words making them sounds like a baby's gurgles.

_So that's how it's going to be._ I crossed my arms and said, "I'm sure Alice would love to see your shaggy self in the carnival from last year." I gave him my best menacing smile.

The laughs stopped abruptly, as Jazz's mouth fell open in horror. He urgently whispered, "That's blackmail. You wouldn't do that to me."

"Oh, I would. Just imagine how Alice would react to see three women hanging off you," I said happily. Last year, it had been hilarious to see Jazz scared of all the ladies that kept grabbing him at a fair organized for charity. Jazz had alternated between hiding under tables or…behind me.

"You're going to end my love life before it even starts!" He exclaimed, slumping in his chair.

"You know what you have to do," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Nooo," Jazz moaned. "Not the washroom."

"Someone's gotta teach you manners. Unfortunately, that happens to be me," I shrugged, and shook my head in mock-despair, desperately trying to hold back my grin.

"Anyway, I'm going to be late," I said, glancing at my watch. I looked up, flashed him a vibrant smile, before giving him an exaggerated wave.

_Ah, the sweet essence of revenge._

"Bye, my lovely!" I said over exuberantly_._

"Bye," he mumbled, scowling in a resigned fashion.

"Best of luck with the date."

Jazz eyes lit up like a child on Christmas, a broad, handsome smile replaced the former sour expression. I was thrilled Alice had agreed. After the eventful party, Jazz had chattered on and on about Alice and how he was the happiest man in the world.

I turned towards the door, blowing him a kiss which he pretended to catch and secure in the pocket of his jacket. As I closed the door behind me, I smiled; maybe today wasn't going to be so bad considering my impending visitor.

I don't know why in the world I had decided to wear a skirt when it was freezing in the morning. My legs felt numb and I remembered that I had forgotten to ask Jazz about when my car would be back from the garage. I groaned and continued grudgingly on the long walk. I regarded a passing couple on a morning jog disdainfully, as they overtook me, only to turn back to look at my apron.

"Hey you are from 'Flowery'?" The lady asked.

_Why did I agree to this again_? I nodded my head sadly.

"I need to buy my beautiful wife flowers! Why don't you join us? Jogging will make you feel energized. Let's go!"

_No, let's pitch a tent and camp here for the rest of the night, though I doubt your energy is going anywhere even then._

While jogging, the husband kept brushing his fingers lovingly on the apple of her cheek. She would blush, I would momentary look away, feeling like I was invading their private moment.

My feeble attempt to jog wasn't making my commute any better; I had drastically reduced their pace.

The rest of the "jog" played out like a teenage love sick movie. All the rest of the way he kept murmuring Victorian poetry in her ear and she kept batting her eyelashes at him. Finally, breathless, I reached the shop and opened the door. I looked back to see them kissing…all... hot and heavy. With tongue…

I slapped a hand on top of my eyes and shook my head. _Who said romance was dead in old age? Talk about never ending love…_

Strangely my thoughts were drawn to Edward. My thoughts unwillingly drifted to his sad eyes. I pushed that thought away and looked back at the passionate couple that gazed into each others' eyes.

"You guys coming?" I asked. They turned and nodded their heads before making their way into the shop behind me. I switched on the lights and went behind the cash counter after setting the catalogue open.

"Are you new here, dear?" I looked to see the old woman smiling at me.

"Not exactly. My friend, Angela, had some personal matters to tend to. So I'm just here for the day, trying to figure out the mystery that is called flower names," I said.

The lady smiled a motherly smile at me before saying, "Don't worry honey, once you find your man you will know all the flower names and their meanings as will that lucky boy."

I chose not to comment on the likelihood of that.

The lady's husband appeared behind her and tucked a set of _extra large_ orchids into her grey hair before easing his arms around her waist and said, "In the ol' days, I had to learn all about the buds to impress my woman. My gal here used to be a gardener, glaring at me with those fiery eyes every time I took a hit. She acted like she hated it, but deep down I always knew she loved it. She was just playing hard to get, ya know?" He raised his eyebrows at his wife before tightening his hold on her.

I felt my lips lift at their matching. I was wrong, opposites do attract. _Big time_.

Returning his attention to me, he continued, "I would leave these orchids at her house everyday n watch as her dad threw em' out. When the old folk left for work, she'd sneak out and take the flowers out of the bin to her room, where she set them into a vase beside the window. Then…" he paused clutching her hand to his heart, "...she used to give me those shy smiles which had my heart pumpin' like a speedin' bike."

_Come all, meet the future Jazz and Alice. Older, sappier but very much in love._

Meanwhile, the lady smiled at him and he kissed her cheek. The love and devotion clearly shone in their eyes, palpable to even bystanders like me. They stood together, quietly, taking a moment to escape from the world, locked in a trance without a care for what was happening around them. I watched as they moved closed to each other.

As different as I was from either of them, I knew exactly what was going on. I could relate, for once, because I had been in a trance myself. All because of a certain green-eyed gentleman, one that would be paying me a visit today.

The thought sent a jolt of anticipation down my spine, my hand clutching my stomach as nervous butterflies fluttered around deep, deep inside. The hair on the back of my neck rose as a shock of goosebumps burst across my skin. And my eyes closed as I cherished the rush of excitement, surprised at the effect a mere thought of him could trigger.

"Good day to you, dear!" The lady exclaimed, startling my eyes open. Holding the flowers her husband has brought, she walked out of the shop hand in hand with him, all but dragging him out…possibly for one of their escapades.

_Well, I guess they were a little cute. A little passionate but that's okay_, I thought with a smile, as I walked around the counter to see them run together on the sidewalk.

_Yup, loads of energy._

The rest of the day flew by peacefully with few hindrances. I kept catching myself as my eyes swept repeatedly over the entrance, no doubt in anticipation of what the evening had in store for me. My heart maintained a faster beat throughout the day, giving a little flip every time the bell signaled the entrance of a visitor. The flowers seemed prettier today, the air was alight with the floral scent which graced the interior of the shop and my jittery mood, as I payed no heed to the mourning, sad weather.

Besides that, working as a florist wasn't half as hard as I had assumed. Most customers knew what they wanted to buy and some of them also knew the prices, making me question at times as to why I was here. I only had one creepy customer who wanted to buy flowers and then asked me, "Which flowers would _you_ like m'lady?"

With great effort and patience I hadn't known I possessed I warded off his advances. He had been a very…persistent customer.

Around five, I had a surprise visitor.

"Alice! Hi! Nice to see you here!" I looked behind her to see Jazz dressed in a suit. He was looking nervously at me. Alice smiled, she really was beautiful, her beauty accentuated by the white and black chiffon dress wrapped around her like a glove. Her eyes shone with happiness as she followed my line of sight that lead her seemingly searching eyes to their destination, Jasper.

I hated to admit it, but I envied her. That happiness…those genuine smiles permanently carved on her face. I wanted that for myself too.

But I kept my smile on. There was no souring my mood today.

"You look great, Alice! What brings you guys here today?"

Alice grinned. "My mum is having a party tonight at her place. So we decided to drop in and get some flowers from you since Jasper obviously forgot his manners," Alice said, annoyed. Behind her, Jazz grimaced and uttered a low "Sorry".

Alice winked at me and I laughed at her teasing Jazz. He actually looked ashamed of himself.

_What I wouldn't give to have a camera now._

"So we thought we'd pay you a little visit!" She concluded before asking me how long I would be staying.

"I work until six-thirty," I stated.

"I have a big favor to ask you," she began nervously.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked, looking at Jazz, only to see him as confused as I was.

"Edward needs to get flowers too. I told him to get them earlier, but he said he may drop by to pick some flowers. He lives close by so he will probably come down here," I opened my mouth to tell her that I was aware but Alice continued on, "Could you please stay 'till eight? Please don't say no, Edward hardly ever comes to parties and my mom would love the flowers. Please don't say no!" She said, putting up the most unjustified argument I had ever heard of.

I was offended to know that Edward found the need to make me wait and furthermore, tell his sister of all people to relay the message to me. A part of me didn't want to agree to Alice's ridiculous request, but another more dominant one wanted to hear the smooth richness of his voice. The growth of tension in me all day was depending on his arrival. There was no stopping it now, it was ready to break past me.

"I'll tell him to drive you back home too, so you don't have to walk in the chilly weather."

She had me there. I would do anything for a ride home, it was cold today. Grudgingly, I agreed.

"Okay Alice, I'll wait." I said with finality. Little did she know, I would have agreed either way.

"Absolutely not."

I was shocked to see Jazz speak up against Alice, his voice laced with anger.

"Bella's work ends at 6:30, if _Edward_ wants flowers he has to just come and get them earlier. She isn't going to sit around waiting for him all day." He said, clenching his teeth together, his eyes giving me a 'don't you dare' look.

Alice then pouted and her adorable look softened his face, she leaned up and pecked his lips. Jazz weakly smiled, running the back of his hand along the smooth contours of Alice's cheek. The private intimacy, a second today made my thoughts take a U-turn back to Edward.

After a few moments, Jazz muttered a pissed off "Okay."

Random chatter and a few long-stemmed red roses later, they both said their goodbyes and left while I sat on my desk waiting for a certain bronze haired head to appear. My eyes turned to watch the clock, the arms glued to 5:30.

I watched as twilight bloomed across the sky. The red, pink and yellow swirls reached out touching everything around them and bathing the surroundings in their ethereal glow. I would be lying, if I said, I was not waiting for his arrival. I watched as the time ticked by, it was now 6:45 and I was killing time by reading the catalogue of all things, lying if I said it wasn't due to a customer I was expecting.

To occupy myself, I wandered around the flower shop, noticing how it was the red roses that made the most business. They were so…red. I wondered idly if people actually bought them for their strangely bright, vibrant color or due to their significance. I shrugged in the empty shop. Jazz probably brought them because they were the color of hearts, I thought, humorously.

After much wait, the twilight hues began to drown in the darkness. The faint sun was sent away by the moon to spread it's sunshine elsewhere. The evening clouds darkened, turning into a muddy gray, eventually giving way to precipitation. Tiny drops clung to the cool glass I leaned on, giving me shivers. Before long, lightning began to light up the sky while it boomed with thunder, making me shudder again. I never liked thunder. It was an indication of danger lurking close by, a way by which the sky indicated its sadness.

Rain drops on the glass trickled along the lines of my palm travelling undefined lines, unknown paths, unaware of their final destination, just like me… A particular loud roar made me jump back to reality. I looked at the clock to see it was already 8:30 and Edward still wasn't here yet. I recalled Alice's words faintly while I waited, _"Edward hardly ever comes to parties and my mom would love the flowers."_

Maybe he was going to bail out on them again today. I wondered why, but then thought back to when I found out he was Alice's brother. I had known Alice. I had seen her parents and other brother at her shows. Edward must have not been present on the other occasions or he would have caught my eye. The strange pulsing sensation around him was too strong to go unnoticed.

With a heavy heart, I decided to leave and not waste time waiting for him. I thought of calling Jazz to let him know I was heading home but then gave up on the idea because I didn't want to bother him. He was, after all, on the date of his life.

I packed up my things and folded the 'Flowery' apron and put it into my bag.

_I'm never wearing this hideous piece of scrap. _

As I made my way outside, the wet and cold struck me sharply. I felt like such an imbecile for leaving my coat behind and not even considering bringing along an umbrella. _Great_, I thought morosely, _I am going to be soaked by the time I get home._

I locked up the shop and slipped the keys into my purse. The storm was worse outside. Strong, violent gusts of wind whipped across my face, pelting my face with water. My skirt was already soaked and I held my bag close to my chest. Considering the horrible weather conditions, I pulled out my cell to call a cab but luck seemed to be going against me today and there was no service available. I wished Edward would have shown up, that way, I would have a warm, dry ride back home; but now, I would just have to walk the entire distance home.

I set out to the journey down the road, smiling to myself, while thinking about the old couple this morning. My thoughts then made their way to Jazz and Alice, who were on their first date tonight. Humorously, Alice had decided the venue when Jazz couldn't think of something fast enough. In his words, it was an "out of body experience" for her to agree. He was happy. That was all that mattered. She was good for him.

Everyone was happy. Everyone had someone. Everyone except me.

Edward hadn't showed up despite his word. I was silly to think he would, I should have known better; this was Edward Cullen we were talking about. And I was me, a nobody. _But he could have informed me_, my mind protested. It didn't matter, I told myself. Life goes on, it doesn't wait for anyone. My life would go on too, like Edward Cullen never existed.

His flight would take off tomorrow. He would be gone. Tomorrow, he would be history

Tears sprang up into my eyes, it was so lonely walking alone tonight. Alone. Always. Even Jazz had someone now.

Distracting myself, I pulled my arms tighter around myself in an attempt to preserve some heat; but it was a useless effort, my legs were shivering with the cold water.

_So much for summer_, I thought sarcastically.

I vaguely entertained the idea of breaking out into a jog but with my tired limbs protesting, it seemed like I was in for a very long walk. I reached the part of the road, which was drenched in the dark, due to the adjoining forest. Noises from the forest squeaked along the road. My footsteps unconsciously sped up, I was scared of thunder and the forest around the dark road was seriously creeping me out.

I heard footsteps behind me and my heart sped up. Adrenaline pumped through my system as my hands shook.

_No one can see you, it's too dark, it's too dark_, I chanted to myself.

My heartbeat pulsed in my ears. Then came a flash of a torchlight, illuminating my form. And it was gone as soon as it came.

_Oh God_, I thought scared and then I broke out into a run, only to be hauled back by what appeared to be a large man.

"Not so fast, sugar," he sneered in my right ear, his warm, sweaty hand covering my mouth.

_Please, let this be a bad dream_, I begged.

My heart raced, my breathing halted and forgotten. I shakily elbowed the person behind me in the ribs. He staggered back and I could make out his hunched over form. I ran again, my second attempt thwarted when I crashed into another hard body.

I screamed, "Help!" as the second man captured my wrists forcefully. I tried to knee him but he was faster. A fast, resounding slap on my face echoed into the night. My cheek hurt and my head felt woozy.

"Help!" I wailed.

The men laughed at me as I tried to get away, cornering any move I tried to make.

"You really think anyone can hear you here, honey? Got a lot fire in you, huh?" His voice grew closer. The rain seemed to blur everything out, I couldn't see.

"Yeah, she is really feisty; this one is going to be fun." I could hear the malice in the second man's voice.

After a lucky attempt at freeing my wrists, I began to run in the other direction but one of the men caught me, while the other reined another blow to my side. I struggled against them, refusing to let myself give in.

Only to feel helpless as they struck me with a harder blow every time I tried to hurt them. I tried to kick the one in front of me while I cried for help. He caught my leg and twisted it. I screamed as my upright leg buckled in pain.

"God will punish you!" I snarled at them from the floor.

They just laughed. It was so easy for them. I was so easy. So pathetic. So helpless.

"What makes you think we care?"

A loud cry ripped from my throat and I retorted to begging.

"Please, let me go, here is my purse, take whatever you want. I won't say anything, let me go please," the pain in my leg made me vomit on the ground beside me. My body felt like it had no strength left, yet I fought. I used my hands to move me away from the attackers, ignoring the blistering pain that rose with each pull of my body.

"Nope," was all they stated before making their way towards me.

_This can't be happening. _

I had heard of stories where they said your whole life flashed in front of you in just two minutes. It had seemed as though it was an expression of writing but in those four steps they took towards me I saw my whole life flash behind my eyes.

Renee's warm, affectionate smile, Charlie's bitter buttermilk pancakes, Renee's funeral, Billy, my first driving experience, Charlie's angry grunts at my blunders, my graduation ceremony, Charlie's proud face, Forks, life, Jazz, friendship and lastly…Edward.

There was a good chance that I wasn't going to walk away today but I wished I had known more about Edward. I closed my eyes as I made my final admission. I liked Edward. There was something about his broken, soul-deep eyes that had the power to make my dead, cold, emotionless heart flutter. Just three meetings later I knew we shared a connection that was unmistakable, which went beyond the attraction and the primal emotion of lust.

But this was the end of it. The connection would be broken because I wasn't going to be there to remain a part of it.

I opened my eyes to see the threatening figures looming over me, my legs useless, a dead weight underneath me. I tried my last attempt to escape, "My dad is Chief of Police, he won't spare you, please, don't do this. I don't deserve this," I begged, touching their shoes in a surrender of power.

"Please, please, please," I pleaded, my head throbbing, my mouth tasting like blood, the pain in my leg pushing me to unconsciousness.

The sky snarled, trying to scare my attackers without any avail. It thundered and spewed freezing water, howling in anticipation of the pain. I stared at it, pleading…

_Help me, do a miracle, please…don't let this happen, haven't I had enough?_

I waited for the breeze, for the sealed promise.

It never came.

Today there was no breeze on my face, just the pelts of hail that felt like a curse being cast on me. The same pelts that scraped my tear-stained cheeks.

Then everything happened in a daze. I protested but I was too weak, my screams went unheard, my shoves were painful and hurt me more than them. Clothes were torn, and my skin wasn't far behind. Then the most protected parts of my body were abused. I screamed but they didn't stop, they used me again and again like a toy and then they threw me aside once they were done.

Like a filthy piece of garbage.

My body didn't hurt, I was beyond feeling. I was floating, my limbs useless. The emotional overload had stopped all physical sensations. The rain and thunder provided the background music at the end of my life story. This was the end.

The end. Maybe the closure I had spent most of my life waiting for.

The rain froze my body, my limbs involuntarily shuddered and shivered, the chilly water seeping through my wounds burning them as I lay battered, broken and barely covered on the wet granite.

I was waiting for Renee but I couldn't see her yet. I couldn't find her in my daze. In my mind, I visualized myself as the four-year old girl running around the house calling for her mom. But the wait had been over soon when her body had arrived, broken and bruised to Charlie's house. The situation was so similar now, with one exception.

Tomorrow, my body would arrive at Charlie's house.

Then I saw a flash, I tried unsuccessfully to turn my body towards it, anticipating Renee's arrival. The light became brighter and brighter, blinding me but I kept staring, unseeing.

_The angels were here. It was time to go._

It had been so long, I just wanted to lie in the comfort of my mother's arms where she hummed me to sleep; in my fantasy world, where no evil existed, only the scent of my mother's freshly baked cakes, the smell of baby shampoo and the softness of my teddy. I couldn't wait anymore, it had been far too long.

My dead heart gave a little cry as accompanying happy tears crept into my eyes.

Then the flash was gone.

It was only then that I realized that I wasn't going to see Renee again in this life. I would never achieve that last wish, even before my demise. Maybe this was my death penalty, depriving me of the one thing I craved.

I was aroused from my numbness as I heard noises, but I couldn't understand them, they were a faint buzz in the storm. As I struggled to come to my senses, I heard the one voice I never expected to hear.

It was Edward.

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**A/N**: Unexpected? What happens next? How will Edward react? How will Jazz accept what has happened.

Sorry if the chapter was offensive to any of you. I have tried to give warnings through the past few chapters in the starting chapter notes.

**This chapter is an important part of the story. It is related to how the story will play out. Edward will not marry Bella to comfort her. Events will occur which will make marriage the only option.**

**The story now has a twilighted thread, thanks to chocoholic4842. Drop by, and feel free to leave your thoughts, suggestions or theories! Link on my profile.  
**

**Please leave a review. I would really appreciate it if you could let me know your thoughts on this one. Teasers to be sent to all reviewers. **You can always let me know if you would rather not have one.

Would love to hear from the anonymous readers too.

Hope you all aren't too upset, the assault and abuse part is pretty much over. If too depressed go watch the "Funny baby makes speech" video on youtube…it's funny and would definitely make you laugh. Link posted on twitter.


	9. Chapter 9 Stand by you

Firstly, let me start of by saying thank you to all the readers. I really appreciate all your feedback, it really helped me see the way you look at things. Love the way some of you seem to be churning your theories, and I really enjoy reading them. I am grateful to those who have been honest with their feelings, I do realize the twist was a shocker to most of you, but once again I promise I have a plan. Thank you to all the silent readers, it gives me great joy to see that most of you are still reading the story.

Thank you to **PTB** members **OTD673** and **Reamhar**. They have helped me immensely by correcting my grammatical errors. Perhaps the only reason this chapter is coming close to readable is due their generous efforts. Thank you to **OTD673** for all her help with rephrasing, and pointing things out I would have never seen myself. Your guidance is much appreciated.

Thank you to **chocholic4824**, who has started a thread on twilighted. Check it out if you haven't already.

Thank you to **Jenny Cullen**, my twi beta, for her help posting the story on twi.

**This chapter will deal with the after-effects of the attack. While I try to make things as less graphic as I can, some facts can't be avoided when broaching such a topic. I don't think this chapter will be as hard to read as the one before as it is focused more towards the emotional consequences. Also, I must warn you that this chapter will involve a few profanities. **

**If it gets too hard, let me know, and I can send you the summary of the chapter.

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**

**Chapter 9 – Stand by you**

"Bella, Bella, Bella!" He frantically called my name, shaking me. The movement echoed in my bones, causing so much pain that I wanted to scream, but I could only whimper in response.

"Bella, please answer me! Say something!" Edward said urgently.

I couldn't open my eyes. I didn't want to. What do you say when you were just…

The emotional burden made me shut my eyes tighter.

I wanted to scream at the heavens for the injustice. I had a lot of questions, questions I wanted answers to. There were too many of them, spinning through my head so fast that I couldn't grasp them. I wanted to ask the sky, how dare it cry my tears? Why my leaden arms refused to lift to give me the privacy every woman deserved? Why I just lay here, complete stripped of my dignity, vulnerably exposed in ways I never thought possible.

But most of all, I wanted to ask what I had done to deserve this?

What had I done that made it necessary for the first man I had ever felt remotely any connection to, to find me like this … broken, left behind, and unwanted?

At my lack of response, Edward began speaking in a hushed voice, a soothing song to my ears. Pleading, begging, suffering, I could hear it all with perfect clarity in the melody he sang to me, but the words were far too hazy, or maybe I just wanted them to be.

"Anything. Just say…anything. To let me know you are here...that you can hear me. Please, I'm begging you," he whispered in a pained voice, taking my cold, weak hand in both his warm ones.

The agony of the heart felt plea made me find some strength to open my eyes. I tried to see him, but it was too dark. All I saw was the outline of a man hunched over in despair, folding deeper into himself.

"No, no, no, this can't be happening," he said disbelievingly, shaking his head, rocking back and forth on the wet ground. Hands on his ears, he kept saying, "It's a bad dream."

I almost believed him. More than anything, I wished I could.

However, the unbearable pain that was making itself known was evidence enough that this was far more real than either of us hoped for. I focused on him, trying not to think about my body and its current state, but there was only one problem.

It wasn't working.

The pain began to climb along twisted, gut-wrenching paths, and then I screamed. I screamed because my heart hurt so much I couldn't stand it. I screamed because the questions wouldn't stop.

"Make it stop, please," I wailed, blindly reaching out for him and pulling on his arm.

That was enough to shake Edward out of his stupor. He quickly picked me up, and I howled with pain, causing his strong arms to shake before they strengthened with resolve. He held me close to his chest, and I fed on his warmth, trying to disappear from the world by burying my face in the crook of his neck. I clung to him, too scared to let go - beyond any sense of rationality.

Because there was no right and wrong now, it was only us. Only Edward and Bella.

Edward tried to put me in the back of his car, but I refused to let go of him.

"Listen to me, Bella, I want you to be calm, you are freezing, I need to get clothes for you," Edward explained quietly, as his tentative fingers stroked my hair.

I couldn't think, he was the only thing keeping me in the touch with the world. I couldn't let go. Not yet.

"Don't leave me!" I cried out hysterically, clawing at his wet shirt.

"I won't, you need to trust me here, Bella. Keep watching me. I have my coat in the front seat. I am going to the close the backseat door, get the coat and help you into it. No one is coming, it's just me. I need you to calm down so I can help you." He said, slowly, as though he was speaking to a child.

"Okay, come back soon," I said scared, hesitantly releasing my hold on his wet shirt, pulling my knees to my chest, but the movement made my head spin with pain.

I flinched when the car door slammed shut, rocking to drown it all out. I followed Edward with my eyes, worried that if my gaze wavered I would lose him. I would lose my angel. He took his coat and opened the door. Soon he was with me in the backseat, and I don't know how but I found myself in his lap the next minute. I huddled closer to him resting my head on his chest, feeling his warmth and closing my eyes. I felt him stiffen under me before he slowly relaxed back into the seat and began to rub my arms soothingly.

"Bella, I need to get you into the coat, can you lift your arms for me?" He asked softly.

"I can't, it hurts too much," I cried pathetically into his shirt.

"That's okay, let's try this together," he said with authority, moving to sit up straight, taking me with him. He carefully lifted my right arm trying to maneuver it into the sleeve. He repeated the process with my second arm. Then he pulled the lapels together and started buttoning up the front, careful not to touch my torn shirt or my chest.

When he reached my waist, he inhaled sharply as if breathing was painful for him. I watched his face in the dull, luminescent light turn from sadness to disgust before settling on unfathomable fury.

I looked down trying to hold my bearings, scared of what I might see. And what I saw made me shut my eyes so tight that I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to open them again.

"Bella, were you a …? " Edward asked bleakly, letting the incomplete question hang in the air between us.

That's when the one truth I had been avoiding struck me hard and deep, like a cold shard of ice that shattered my self-depreciating worth completely.

_They stole my virginity…_

Then the dam broke and I started crying with deep, loud, shuddering sobs. The grief enveloped the atmosphere of the car and became overwhelming with the building strength of pain. Edward was frozen, his expression not one of sympathy, but of implicit empathy. Pain, mirroring mine before his expression went blank.

"We need to go to the hospital, Bella," he said in a voice devoid of emotion while buttoning the rest of the coat, effectively covering me.

"Your wounds may get infected, we need to get you checked," he paused, steeling himself, "and we have to inform the police."

I don't know what came over me then, I just wanted to hit something, give pain in a way it was given to me. In that moment, it didn't matter that he was helping me. He was a man, just like them, and I hated them for what they had done to me. So with all my strength, I started pounding my fists on his chest, ignoring the ache that was intensifying, the fire that was burning me inside.

He captured my wrists, looking at me with tortured eyes, a troubled expression tarnishing his beautiful face. The restraint made my body go limp. I didn't have any fight left in me. I was tired. Tired of fighting.

Edward realized this at the same time as me, and he instantly released my wrists, gently setting my hands back into my lap. He pulled on his hair, twisting fist fulls of bronze in helplessness.

Putting his face in his hands, he begged, "Bella, please … just hold on. Don't do this; you can't get rid of the pain by hitting me. It's only going to hurt you more. Please be strong."

"I can't … I can't be strong. I wasn't before, and I'm not now. I don't have any strength left. They killed me, Edward… they killed me. They took it all away… everything… everything I was holding onto, just like that…" I rambled, letting my defeat erupt. _Why couldn't he understand?_ I shook my head repeatedly, trying to shake the pain away, the tears oozed from the corners of my eyes, streaming along the apples of my cheeks. They screamed of my anguish, cursing the unknown source who had decided my fate.

Hesitant arms came around me, rubbing my back with small strokes.

"I begged them, but they didn't listen. I screamed again and again, but they kept laughing at my pain. Why?" I asked, pulling his shirt, looking up at him. "Why did this happen to me? I was only doing Angela a favor."

"Shhh," Edward said, rocking me back and forth.

But he just wasn't enough, in that moment nothing was. His arms, which had provided comfort, felt like heavy bars imprisoning me. I wanted Renee, but I had lost her.

That thought consumed me… tipping me over the edge, blackness devoured me, and I let it, welcoming it with open arms. I could hear Edward calling me, but I had gone too far to come back.

_Or maybe I didn't want to anymore._

~x~x~x~x~

Faint light welcomed me back to the present. Shifting to orient myself within my strange settings, I looked around, confused. I was in a hospital. I held a hand to my cheek which throbbed with pain, moving it to my forehead. My head was aching terribly, making it difficult to think. The whole room seemed to turn, the walls swinging back and forth, blurring my sight. I searched my mind, trying to recall how I had gotten here.

_Why couldn't I remember?_

I could hear someone in the background talking in a low voice, "Hello, calling from room 102…yes, hello…yes, it is…she's gaining consciousness…yes, of course. I'll inform the team immediately."

At the sound of hustling and a door opening, I made a move get up but halted as a sharp pain stung the apex of my legs. My hands quickly removed the sheet, wanting not to believe a memory trying to break in its way to my consciousness.

And break it did.

"No," I whispered.

_No. No. No. _

"NO!" I screamed in denial, or at least I thought I did, but my voice was weak like my entire being. A vulnerable fort inevitably destined to be destroyed. I thrashed my fists on the sheet, and pulled my hair as unstoppable nightmares invaded my awake mind. They were the worst of their kind. Because they were real.

"No," I begged no one in particular. I put my hands on my eyes trying to dodge the images. But they were unyielding, ruthlessly slipping between my tightly bound lids. I put my hands on my ears. I could hear them now, their grunts, their brutal laughter.

"Shut the fuck up!"

My hands dropped from my ears as I lifted my head. Gazing in all directions like a wild animal, I listened carefully, for the voice again. It was familiar. I recognized it.

_Jazz…_

"This is all your fucking fault, Cullen. I swear to God, if anything happens to her I'll make your life a living hell!"

I pulled my knees to my chest, embracing the pain in my leg as it protested. At least, it allowed me a means to escape the harsh reality of what was happening. I prayed for the numbness to engulf me again, to let me drown in its nothingness. I didn't want to hear this, visualize what was happening. This was not the Jazz I knew. The man outside was not my Jazz.

"Stop it, Alice, I don't want to hear your excuses. If there's anyone to blame it's you and your brother. And, no, I won't keep my voice down. I'm _so_ fucking sorry if I'm violating the hospital's rules. My best friend is lying unconscious on a bed, I don't give two shits about this hospital and your -" Jazz's voice stopped abruptly as a loud crash broke out.

Lights flashed around my vision, making me feel fainter by the moment. I huddled closer to my legs, trying to disappear, pressing my head between my knees so that I could breathe easier. They were fighting now. And it wasn't a minor altercation of shoves and profanities. Rather, it was a full fledged brawl. The sound of a million glass shards falling to the floor permeated the air, my heart splintering with the glass. I tuned them out, trying to focus on my breaths.

_In. Out. In. Out._

"Don't you dare talk to Alice like that." _His _breathless, unsteady yet angry voice broke my concentration. I tried to gain my focus, but it was a lost cause.

I grabbed two fistfuls of the sheet, crushing it with my fingers.

_Block him out._

"Will you both just stop this! We're in the ICU waiting area. People are dying here, show some respect," Alice said. Her voice lower but clearer as they seemingly moved closer to my room's door. "I know I made a mistake, I swear Jazz if I ever knew…" her voice broke, a sob escaping from her throat.

I pressed a hand to my mouth to stop myself from crying in agony. If I had ever known, I would have never stepped out that door. If I had known, I would have called for help. If I had known, I would have never gotten off my bed that day. If I had known, I would have never agreed.

There were so many _if_s, ifs I wished I could have chosen. But the damage was marked on my body, painstakingly embedded in my soul. I was tainted, destroyed for life.

In a hoarse voice, with tears evident in her voice, Alice continued, "I'll never forgive myself for what happened to Bella. I don't know why I insisted. I was so foolish, I…" she stopped, as muffled sobs floated into my room.

"Alice, get Cullen out of my of sight. I don't care what you thought or what you should have done. You've done what you wanted. Are you happy now? Go figure, your scheming has landed my best friend in a hospital. I should have never agreed, and stuck to my impulse to disagree, but I didn't. And now the person I love so much…," his voice lowered to a melancholy filled whisper in the end as the collective footsteps stopped behind my door.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. He was hurt, we both were. Together in everything, as always.

I shifted down, ignoring the pain, pulling the sheet over my head. Lying stiffly over the paper beneath, I wrapped my arms around my core, squeezing my sides to close the expanding void spreading outward from my core.

In a strong voice, Jazz ordered, "Just go, Alice. I want you to go, too. "

"Jazz…" Alice cried.

"Go! Just fucking leave before I do something I regret."

"Okay…I'll call you," she said with a small voice, sad sniffles in between her words.

Jazz offered nothing in return.

"Can I see her once?" spoke the one man I couldn't bear to see again, his voice a soft question.

_No. Please say no, Jazz._

"What, you haven't had enough yet? And to answer your question, 'are you kidding me?' Go jump on your damn flight tomorrow and don't bother coming back again. I know her, she probably doesn't want see your conceited face ever again, so go and shine your sparkle somewhere it's needed, because that place is definitely not here."

"I just want to see her. To apologize," Edward said, despair coloring his voice.

"Please," Edward gritted out on Jazz's tenacious silence.

_Say no, Jazz, I can't face him. He can't see me… I can't see him._

"_Mr. Cullen_, you surprise me with your audacity. You really have no shame, do you? Just get out, you've done enough damage as it is. She will never forgive you, Cullen. Apologizing to her when she is unaware won't magically wash away your mistakes. You're going to have to live with them for your entire life. She will curse you everyday of her life, when she remembers what happened to her because of you. Yes, you, Cullen," Jazz said, using anger as an outlet for channeling his hurt.

"Don't say that, Jazz. It was my fault. Don't say this to Edward. Please, Jazz. This is not Edward's fault, it's mine," Alice begged. Edward was quiet in his brooding silence.

"I never disagreed. This is your fault too. She never deserved this, and now… Just go away, my head hurts with all this talking. Just go," Jazz said, resigned. "Please, I am requesting you, as a victim's friend, to leave. Leave us in peace. I have neither the status nor right to have you removed from the premises. I can just request. Please go. Leave us alone. Have some pity on us," he pleaded, his anger melting as the stress took its toll on him.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered.

Parting footsteps moved away from the door. Each footstep growing fainter as the seconds ticked by, until I couldn't hear them anymore. And then he was gone.

Tears dripped from my eyes, wetting my pillow, drenching the paper that rested on it so that even it gave way, its resolve crumbling under my anguish. I used my hands to wipe my cheeks, but they were soaked, pruned with my tears. I closed my fingers into a fist, trapping my tears.

_How had so much happened in one night?_

The soft click of the door signaled someone's entry. My body tensed, folding itself in a shielding fetal position. My heart was beating so loudly, I could feel it in the fingertips pressed against my mouth. I held my breath, telling myself no one could harm me.

I heard the person blow out a heavy sigh and my body relaxed.

It was just Jazz.

The chair at the side of the bed creaked as Jazz settled on it. We both were quiet, just spending a few moments in our unspoken companionship.

"I know you're not sleeping," Jazz stated in a tired voice.

Looking at the faint light through the sheet, I didn't reply. Jazz's chair scooted closer, scratching the floor with a disturbing screech, as my body on autopilot moved to put a corresponding distance between us.

"Talk to me, Bella," he tried to say calmly, but his voice failed to hide his fear.

_What do you want me to say, Jazz?_

"You can't shut me out, I won't let you," he said with a determined voice, but once again, the tremor was unmistakable.

_My body's made my decision for me._

"That's it!" he said impatiently. He stood up abruptly, letting the chair drop to the floor causing my body to give a violent jerk at the sound of the thud.

He moved fast towards me, causing me to cower into the edge of the bed. He lifted the sheet from so that my face was revealed.

I turned my face away from him, burying it in the side of the pillow, closing my eyes to shut out the expected look of disgust; I wouldn't be able to live if Jazz looked at me like that. My arms protectively wrapped around the front of my body.

"Bella, please…please, don't do this to me. Scream, shout, hit me, throw things, do what you have to. Just stop this silence."

"Please, please, please," he cried, as broken sobs bubbled from his throat.

_Why are you torturing me, Jazz?_

And then I wept my first words, "They raped me."

Curling into a ball, I cried into my knees, until my account held only dry heaves. I cried for my virtue, for my respect. I cried because Edward was the one who found me. Kneeling on the floor next to my bed, Jazz joined me with shaking shoulders, his face buried in his folded arms resting on the bed.

After what seemed like forever, a knock interrupted us.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hale may I have a word with you?" A man in a police officer's uniform asked.

Jazz looked up first at me, his swollen eyes questioning me. I nodded infinitesimally, unsure if I was ready to be my own. Jazz nodded back, standing up, his knees cracking from the strain of remaining bent for so long. He followed the officer out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving me in the dark.

At a loss of what to do to stop my thoughts from wandering, I picked up the glass of water from the side table. My trembling hands along with the labored breaths made me spill half the water on my bare arms as the glass shook in my hands, the water swishing around the glass. I slowly raised the glass to my lips and took a sip to wet my dry throat. It felt foreign just like everything else, washing uncomfortably down my throat.

Setting it back, I tentatively moved my leg to test how bad the pain was. Ever so slowly, I pushed my knee up, but even before I could lift my calf, a sharp pressure shot through my nerves causing my knee to collapse back on to the bed. I leaned back, covering my face with my hands. Taking the pillow and burying my face in it, I screamed so loud that my throat burned.

_Why was everything going so terribly wrong?_

Jazz reappeared before I had a chance to dwell on my thoughts. He had a grim look on his face. Sitting on the edge of my bed, maintaining his distance, he began hesitantly, "Cullen has asked the police to keep the investigation to find your…" he took a deep breath, "attackers strictly confidential."

_Cullen…Edward. _

"We need to tell Charlie, Bella," Jazz said, anxiously clasping his hands.

I looked at him with frightened, wide eyes.

"No, Jazz!" I nearly shouted. "Please. Don't talk about this to Charlie. Promise me you won't," I said fervently, grabbing his arm to force him to agree, but the repulsive shock made me instinctively pull back.

I froze when Jazz looked at me with hurt. So much hurt from those hazel eyes that I had to look away. I glanced back at him, to see him holding a hand on the same place I had touched him, gazing at it with sad eyes. Thankfully, he decided to ignore my defensive action and spoke, "He has a right to know. More than me. No, don't protest. You know I'm right. You need him, Bella. He should be here now."

"No, he doesn't need to know about this," I disagreed, defiantly. "This is my private matter, you can't talk about it without my consent. I haven't granted you that authority yet," I said angrily, pressing a hand to my forehead. I was beginning to feel dizzy from the pain medications.

"Oh yeah?" Jazz asked challengingly. "So if anything happened to me tomorrow, you wouldn't inform my family?"

"God forbid that, but we're not talking about the same thing. This is completely different. You know that!" I argued.

"As a matter a fact, I don't. It is the same thing." He insisted, his voice became quieter as he continued, "You're hurt, here." He pointing to his heart. "You need support. Emotional support."

_I hate him for talking in that tone_, I thought as I wiped a few tears coming loose.

"I have you, I don't need anyone else," I mumbled, looking down at my lap, the light headed relief of the pain medications was coming back. It made it so much easier to think about less painful venues, almost making me forget that anything had happened.

"Fine, if that's what you want. I won't push you. Bella, I'm not your father," he said sincerely, before chuckling. "Well, thank God for that."

I gave a small smile to that, letting my eyes droop as the medicines began to take a toll on me.

"No offense, but you're not exactly father material, GPH." At Jazz's look of confusion, I clarified, "Gay Papa Hale," giving him a weak "beat that sucker" smile. I could pretend for now, let myself believe that the attack had never happened, that it was just a figment of my imagination. I just needed to open my eyes and it wouldn't be there.

Jazz's face lit up with the smile I had grown to love so much. He answered brightly, "Well, there you are. I was afraid I had lost you somewhere."

"Miss Swan reporting," I said, giving him a mock salute, letting myself enjoy the false pretense that everything was alright.

"Your nose is reporting too. Holy crow! You've never achieved that shade of red. Bella Swan sets a new record."

"You're lame," I said sleepily, hiding a foolish smile, it felt good to think about something else. My chest felt lighter, more open, not constricted anymore.

"Yet you love me, Jazzy B," he replied with a wink.

I stared at him for longer than necessary, just letting my mind store the picture of that smile. I hadn't realized till today, how much that goofy, ever present smile meant to me. I committed it to my memory for any darker times when there was no sign of light for long distances. It would be my guide always; my compass directing me to the hope of reaching light one day.

"What?" Jazz asked, suddenly conscious of my unwavering eyes.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head to come back to my senses before saying something I needed to.

"Thanks."

I expected him to pull a typical Jazz on me, asking me "for what?" But he didn't.

"Your welcome," he whispered in such a low voice I almost didn't hear him, but that wouldn't be possible. As a best friend, so many things left unsaid were understood. Vocalization was never a necessity, we were above all that. But today, he seemed older, one night had matured him. Matured me. Matured us both to reach a new level in our relationship.

The moment was destroyed by a doctor rushing into the room with a nurse hot on his heels.

"Mr. Hale, what are you doing here? I told you to stay out of the patient's room and in the waiting area. At any rate, we must discuss something privately with the patient."

"You can't get me to leave, Doc. I am going to stay right here. Try and stop me," Jazz said, his eyes shinning with fierce protectiveness.

The doctor looked at me in askance, worry lines creasing his already wrinkled forehead. I nodded my head, unable to speak. My heart pounded in my ears. The haze had disappeared; my body was on high alert while I wondered what was in store for me this time.

The doctor took a deep breath, holding his hand out for a paper that the nursed handed to him.

He began speaking in an official, detached voice, "While you were unconscious, we had to take some blood samples to ensure that you had not been drugged and to confirm there were no other medical complications."

Bile churned in my stomach as fear settled on my mind. _What if I got ...?_

I looked at Jazz, whose expression mirrored me. My breaths sped up as the nurse looked at me with sympathy. _Why is she looking at me like that?_

The doctor cleared his throat to get our attention. He looked me straight in the eye with a blank expression and said the words that made a deep sense of dread rise in my throat.

"Miss Swan, we've got your blood test results."

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**A/N: **How did you like this side of Jazz? Why do you think Edward didn't show up; what possibly could have held him back? And finally, could Bella get pregnant or have contracted a serious illness?

**Just a request, leave me a review, they really do help me with the writing process a lot. I love hearing what you like, or dislike and incorporate that into my writing.**

**Like always, there is a teaser for all reviewers.**

For those of you interested, there is a thread for sharing your views, questions and suggestions. Come by and share some thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10  The Letter

Hello, I hope all of you are doing well.

Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate all the feedback I get. Thank you for supporting the story so far with your alerts and by favoriting it. I hope it continues to hold your interest.

Thank you to **PTB** members, **OTD673 **and **sheynondoah,** for betaing the chapter. Thank you OTD673 for the emergency pre-reads you do for me. And finally, thanks to my Twi beta, **Jenny Cullen,** for her guidance and betaing.

**This chapter will be focusing on the after effects of the attack, including the emotional aftermath. Keep this in mind as you read through the chapter.

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**Chapter 10 – The letter**

Three weeks.

Three weeks had passed since the night that had stolen my life. It had been three weeks since I was introduced to a hell I had never known. Three weeks where I saw a side of my friend, I had never been accustomed to before and neither wanted to be.

I remembered a quote from my school days, "Good is never remembered and bad is never forgotten."

_Well said. Life's taught me so. _

My life had become a horrific reality. A reality that had washed away all my beliefs in justice, leaving a blank slate that my mind had adopted .

I watched on as the forest's green and the sky's blue as they blurred into each other, losing their limits, their self-imposed boundaries. They were flying together, refusing to stop to take a breath. On and on, persistently.

_Guess I'm not surprised that they are inhuman._

It was easier to focus on random objects in my vision than the tangled web my life had become. Unfamiliar threads were now becoming a dominant part of my cocoon. They were beginning to spread like poison threatening the deep moral beliefs I had spent most of my life using as guidelines. The strongest knots were not immune either; the strain in my relationship with Jazz was beginning to appear. The person I could speak with for endless hours, I could no longer communicate with. We sat together, the majority of our time, in silence which had never been a parting wall between us before now. There was now, more bricks were layered with each passing hour. I didn't know what to say, when to say it…mostly I forgot he was there.

My sweet, warm friend had become a decorative piece of furniture, he was always there, sitting in quiet acquiescence, but the deterioration in him was beginning to crack through. Occasionally, when I found myself momentarily, I would see through him, see how he was beginning to become a shell of the friend I had known. He was always a bad liar and he had gotten better over the years, but as is often said, nothing fools the keen eye of a friend.

I would have been happy to admit that the past few days were a blur. Only they weren't. Even now, I hoped I could forget those horrible hours in the examination room, the police investigation with the most humiliating questions ever and of course, the conversation with the doctor on the disastrous night. My thoughts transported me three weeks back; to the night when all this had started.

"_Miss Swan, we've got your blood test results."_

_Digging my nails into my clammy palm, I tried to mentally whisper weak assurances to my heart. It didn't respond; beating so loudly, that the doctor had to repeat himself to be sure that I had heard him._

"_Miss Swan, can you hear me? You are not pregnant or infected according to your current test reports."_

_I looked up at him, confusion whizzing through my mind. All that was said was so clear, yet it wasn't. I could hear the words but I was unable to understand their meaning. I stared at him blankly, narrowing my eyes to try to decipher the significance of the words from his expression. Staring at me with a worried look, the doctor murmured something fast in the nurse's ear. Nodding her head, she quickly made her way out of the room._

_The doctor bent his knees, his face at eye-level with mine. He gazed at me with a scrutiny that made me move further up along the wall I was resting against. I clutched the sheet close to my chest, as my fingers curled onto themselves, preparing t_o_ defend myself. My eyes were suddenly assaulted by a harsh, stinging light and I turned my face away, furiously flailing my hands to rid myself of the brightness that had reminded me of Renee just a few hours ago before coming to the hospital. I didn't need reminders of her; she was amongst the other things in my life I hoped to forget. _

_Plastic and glass clattered as the doctor's torch light collided with the floor, giving a protesting shriek as it struck the un-giving cold floor. My body trembled, as alarm overtook all my senses. Pricking pressure punctured my arm, and I screamed in surprise. My eyes, wide with fear, scanned the white ceiling looking for something I wasn't aware of yet. Their frantic probing stopped abruptly when they settled on a matching pair of almond brown eyes that resembled the melted depths of nurturing honey. _

_They were Renee's eyes._

_A soft, cool hand ran it's long, smooth fingers through my unruly hair. I kept staring at those beautiful eyes, mesmerized, unable to look away as they soothed me from their distance._

"_Close your eyes, my darling. Just sleep," Renee whispered, palming my cheek. I nuzzled into hand, accepting it as a pillow. Her touch rubbed my shoulder, my neck, my upper back. Taking the hand rubbing my back, I brought it close to my chest holding it there, letting myself revel in the comfort it provided. _

_I was home and Renee was with me, _was my last thought as I closed my eyes that night.

But like all dreams, my dream broke too. Turns out that the lady I had so willingly assigned as my mother three weeks ago was an assault counselor.

_I was such a freak show, who clings to an unknown person like that?_

While her eyes had a frightening resemblance to Renee's, I had successfully managed to avoid them when she came in for a second visit. She wanted me to talk and all I wanted to do was throw her and her sugar-sweet voice outside my room.

She kept blabbering for a whole hour, not taking the clue when I didn't respond. She had promisingly mastered the skill of entertaining herself despite earning numerous masked glares from me. Fortunately, she had left but not before vowing to come back. I really didn't want to see her again. Ever.

Jazz had smiled slightly while I had expressed my distress over the prospects of a future session. He looked good when he did that. _He should be able to do that more often_, my conscience had whispered angrily.

The physical examination revealed that the attackers were more sharp and skilled than the regulars. Not leaving any evidence behind was the sign of a successful criminal. The description was rather apt for the men in my case. Apparently, the examination had revealed the use of protection during the assault which left scarce evidence that could be useful in the investigation.

Like the two sides of a coin, there were both good and bad sides to this revelation; the likelihood of any transmitted disease had decreased substantially when this facet was brought to light. For now, just a few follow up tests in 3 months and preventive medication would be needed to make sure there was nothing to worry about. Furthermore, the doctors were fairly confident that a pregnancy would be a rare occurrence in this case, a fact supported when I admitted I was on the pill for skin related purposes. The ovulation and pregnancy test taken soon after confirmed that I wasn't pregnant.

What hurt me the most was that there was quite a high possibility that _they_ would never be caught. _Who was I kidding? _There was no possibility. They had left no evidence, no finger prints that could be used, there were no witnesses either. The weather had made it impossible to see their faces. The question repeated over the days was, "What did I know?"

Nothing, nothing at all. I only knew the rough voices that haunted me every night but that wasn't enough to launch an active investigation. Over the next few days, one thought continuously lingered in my mind. _How many others would be subjected to what I had been? How would they survive it? Like me?_

I was distracted from my depressing thoughts as I heard my name being called in panic. Belatedly, I realized that the car had stopped.

"Bella…Bella...Bella!"

I looked back towards Jazz in the seat, as he clutched the gear shifter so tightly that his knuckles stood white. Panicked eyes swept over my face repeatedly, as he waved his free hand rapidly in front of my face, his mouth parted in fear.

"What?" I snapped.

Jazz had been having many of what seemed like "panic attacks" recently. Apart from being extraordinarily annoying, it was frustrating that he needed to resort to such measures to gain my attention. I was so fed up with his bursts of alarm that were dispersed between long…peaceful silent periods. He got so jittery at times, calling for the doctor every time I didn't appear to hear him, I hated it. I didn't want his concern; he could keep it for someone who needed it. I certainly didn't, but sadly, Jazz was too thick in the head to understand that.

"Sorry," Jazz said, looking down. "I just wanted to make sure you were with me. I called you so many times but you didn't respond," he mumbled in a small voice. The mere sound of his voice was beginning to agitate me; all he could speak of was me. Bella this, Bella that. It was as though the guy had no sense of direction. I despised his sympathetic looks; his pity could fly out of the window for all I could care.

"Well, I clearly am. Now, if you could please cut it out and focus on getting me to my damn apartment!" I shouted.

"Look outside your window," Jazz said, looking pointedly away from me at the steering wheel.

"We are already here, Bella."

I looked down, ashamed, before anger took over.

_Well, so what! So I didn't notice, what's the big deal?_

"Where were you, Bella?" Jazz asked with his annoyingly concerned voice.

"I'm here! Where else would I be? For God's sake, Jazz. Just-" I searched for what I wanted to say but my mind felt drained with the effort. "Forget it," I said, finally giving up and squeezing my eyes shut to stop myself from expressing my exasperation. _Why couldn't he just quit this drama? _

I felt a pang of regret in my stomach, a sinking feeling for a minute. This was not who I was. He was just doing what any good friend would do. So today, why couldn't I do what any friend would do in return?

Accept the offered help.

I was stubborn. Yes, that was it. Stubborn was good, it made me independent, almost strong. With that thought, I determinedly opened the door, making a move to step up but my confidence broke as my leg gave a twinge of pain from the sudden weight put on it.

"Ahhh…" I groaned in pain as my hands went to my knee, pressing it into numbness. Trying to support my weight on one leg made me wobble unsteadily, and I was about to lose my balance but a compassionate support helped upright me before gravity could pull me down further.

Jazz quickly removed his hands, nervously pushing them into his pockets. Scuffing his shoe in the mud, he waited for me to move first without meeting my eyes.

"Thank you," I said quietly, trying to communicate my gratitude through two simple words.

_That wasn't so hard now, was it?_

"Whatever. Let's go." Jazz said, brushing off my apology. It didn't even matter to him that I was speaking from my heart for once and not my bitter mind. Without waiting for me, he set out towards the building as hurt tears seeped in below my lids.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to decide what I really wanted. I was at a war with myself, one half wanted to go and give Jazz one loud slap, while the other one wanted me to pull him into the tightest hug and never let go, to make him swear that he wasn't going to leave me like everyone else did.

None were feasible at the moment. Picking up my shame, I walked behind him into the building.

~x~x~x~x~

"_Run Bella. Run for your life."_

"_Run for God's sake!"_

I can't move. I can't speak! Somebody…anybody help me. My leg hurts.

"_They are coming for you. Move…move, they're coming. They'll get you." _

_I searched frantically in the darkness for a way out, but every direction held only pitch dark, shallow blacks…blacks that were slowly devouring me whole. It took me a while to figure out that hollow was not swallowing me, I was sinking in it as though it was quick sand. Placing my hands on the ground I tried to push myself up, but I only sank deeper. There was no way out._

_I looked up at the sky. It was raining._

_Again._

_I returned my gaze to the road, now scared. Seeing the metallic gray Honda coming at me at a high speed, I tried push myself up, but I only sank in deeper._

_Panicked, I looked up to see the driver of the car. And then I screamed, "Renee!"_

"NO!" I yelled, jolting up from my now damp bed. Irritating hands kept fluttering over my face, they were cold and disgusting.

"Get your hands off me. No, don't you touch me!" I hit the person touching me so hard that they would never forget that they had dared to touch Bella Swan. My palm sang with the sting of the blow.

I opened my eyes in the darkness to see the person stagger back in shock and possibly pain. _Why was it still so dark?_ I switched on the bed side light, holding my alarm clock securely between my fingers to defend myself.

The brightness brought a face to light at the same time it made me realize what I done.

I. Had. Slapped. Jazz.

"Oh my God," I whispered, touching my mouth with my fingers. Jazz held a hand to his cheek, his eyes closed in pain as he sat on the floor. But no, it wasn't the physical pain. I had hurt him deeply, where it hurt most. Bang on the heart. The number of deep set lines on his face made me realize how old my friend had suddenly become. I couldn't see the Jazz that danced to "Single ladies", the boy who was always dozing in class beside me while I scribbled his notes …and neither could I see the guy who blushed at every mention of Alice. I was beginning to lose him. _Or was I already too late?_

I lifted myself off the bed, making my way to the only friend I had never known. Sitting cross-legged on the floor next to him, I reached out to hesitantly touch his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

He shrugged _me_ off.

However, I was persistent, I didn't budge. Eventually, he gave up, slumping his shoulders, letting me cup his shoulder. Removing my hand, I leaned my head against his arm.

"I'm sorry," I tried again, mentally begging him to act like he had heard me.

Jazz didn't say anything for a long while; I thought he had gone to sleep. I moved my head to check, but his eyes were open, staring outside my bedroom window. As if sensing me looking at him, he turned to me with his softest, most compassionate eyes. He patted my hand lightly to let me know that we were good.

But we weren't okay. We were far from it. I was really beginning to doubt if anything would be _okay_ in my life ever again. Taking a deep breath, I did what I knew had to be done.

"You need to leave, Jazz. I can't be around you or anyone else right now. I need to be on my own," I said, looking down while I pushed my fingers through the carpet.

Jazz lifted my chin, showing his loyalty once again by saying, "You need me right now. I'm not going anywhere. Hang on to me, we'll get through this like everything else."

"And one more thing, you can't chase me away by striking me. I'm tougher than that," he joked, but there was no humor in his voice, only that hidden fear that I would force him to let go.

And he was right; that's exactly what I would do. He had a life; he had to go on even if it meant leaving me behind. He had done enough for me, now it was time to live his life. I wasn't going to let him drown with me in this hard phase.

Alice hadn't called in so long, and I knew Jazz was the one to be blamed. He was irrational, angry, upset, and all in all poor at controlling his emotions. Being a friend had certain responsibilities, and I couldn't be selfish anymore. This had to end, no matter what it took.

Even if it was our friendship. Period.

Looking into those pained hazel eyes, I found exactly what I abhorred. Pity.

"I. Want. You. To. Go," I said slowly, enunciating each word, watching his face becoming desperate with each word.

"But-" I cut him short with a lift of my hand.

"No, don't. Jazz, I can't stand having you or anyone around me now. I'm not myself now. I need to find who I am," I paused.

Holding his hand in mine, I continued gently, "And right now, I need to do that on my own."

~x~x~x~x~

Jazz had agreed halfheartedly. I knew he worried that I would try to hurt myself, but I really wasn't into self-inflicted damage. Attempting something like that would require me to stop thinking and at the moment that seldom occurred. I was too engrossed to be able to see beyond the present. Endless hours were spent by the window sill where I stared at the sky, repeatedly questioning the existence of a God. The attack persistently teetered at the edge of my mind, every once in while striking my conscious psyche when I let me guard down. Evasion didn't work as well I would have hoped for it to.

Jazz had begun to give me space. Although, he refused to let me be by myself at night, he would return to his place during the day to put his creativity to good use. The security of his presence left me feeling scared while he was away, but I noticed how I had gotten better during the week; returning to the daily chores with noticeably less fright. It wasn't much, but at least I was taking the first few steps.

The nights hadn't gotten better, if anything, they were only progressively getting worse. At sunset, Jazz and I would eat our dinner together in silence before retiring to our respective rooms. Jazz never came in to wake me from the nightmares again, I had requested him to do that much. But it didn't make things easier, getting through each night was a challenge, and my patience and strength were wearing out.

Every night, I ran for my life.

Although, I usually had no clue what I had dreamt of, I woke up in the middle of countless nights repeatedly, sometimes as often as four times. There was just a sense of overbearing fear, a pounding of my heart and the breathless feeling of being choked. At times, I felt like I was in another's body since my mind couldn't logically place my physical reactions.

As if all this was not enough, Angela had called in to apologize. The call had ended when Jazz came home to find me in tears on the phone. Charlie, too, had called several times, and every time I had fielded his calls with skill I had never known to possess. He could tell something was wrong, yet he didn't push me, and I was grateful for his silence on the matter. I couldn't even begin to imagine how he would react if he knew the truth. He would be crushed if he ever found out that I had turned away from the solace he could have offered. I knew I was wrong, but I didn't want to add to his miseries. He would probably not be able to do much in the case other than drink himself to sleep to relive the sorrow.

~x~x~x~x~

I pulled my coat around myself tightly, studiously examining my boots in a vain attempt to ignore the foundation I had on to conceal the remnants of the bruise on my cheek. I peeked up to look into the elevator's mirror, immediately looking back down as I saw myself. I had begun to look deathly pale over the past few weeks; the rose tint had faded away leaving sullen cheeks in its wake.

Mercifully, the doors opened showcasing Paxiou's spectacular entrance. Bright white furniture was artfully distributed with vibrant red flower boards stamping the walls with Paxious's signature taste. Posh white leather sofa seats were illuminated by the white glow of twirling lights and reflective mirrors. The picture complete with the smashingly sexy receptionist and her lustrous, red lips.

_What am I doing here?_

I walked in my boots to the staff entrance, highly aware of the disparaging looks directed toward my very "un-summery" attire. It was early-August, and I was wearing my longest, shabbiest wool coat.

_Yes, wool. And no, I'm anything but cold._

Digging sweaty palms into my warm pockets, I completed the walk to my small little office. Trolls of sweat began to run down my temples, and I wiped them away with my sleeve. That did little to help, more beads formed from the excessive heat. Snickers followed behind me, and my cheeks began to flame two fold more from the warmth and embarrassment. Eyes down, I pressed each of my fingertips as I heard the muffled laughter. Finally reaching the door, I turned my knob but my hands were too damp and the steel knob kept slipping. Wiping my hands on my coat earned a few more hoots of laughter from the staff members in their cubicles, and my eyes began to water with anger and shame.

"Misfit," I said to myself. _I just proved it to everyone today who thought of me otherwise._

Closing the door behind me, I carefully hung my coat on the stand. Turning around to take in my room, I touched the furnished wood panel of my desk as I took a deep breath of the air in my office, closing my eyes as its fresh scent took over my senses. It had been cleaned in my absence.

Moving to the window, I pulled the blinds up, opening the room to delicious rays of sunshine. Inhaling a few more lungfuls, I opened my palms against the windows to embrace the feeling of freedom these four walls of my room provided. Guiding myself into my chair, I leaned my head back against the velvety leather while I rested my hands on the arm rests.

_It felt so good to be back…almost normal._

I would be fine as long I had this to myself. My safe haven was all I wanted…no, needed. It was one thing that I earned, my achievement; it was my place in this world. I was made for this just like it was for me. Hitting the power button of my computer I felt a flicker of exhilaration as I moved my hands back and forth across the keys, watching them sway at the feeling of an electrical punch coming alive in me. _I was beginning to become me again._

Tucking my hair behind my ears and pushing up my sleeves up, I opened my email box.

* * *

Windows Live Today: **Isabella Marie Swan**

**Inbox (11 new messages) _Sign out _**

**1. Sender: Alice (new) **

** Subject: **I'm desperate. **(Today at 9:00 a.m.)**

**2. ****Sender: Alice (new) **

** Subject:** Don't do this **(08/06/2008)**

**3. Sender:**** Alice (new)**

**Subject:** Why don't you or Jazz answer my calls? **(08/05/2008)**

**4. Sender:****Charlie (new) **

**Subject:** (no subject) **(08/04/2008)**

**5. Sender:****Alice (new)**

**Subject: **Jazz won't let me talk to you. **(08/04/2008)**

**6. Sender:****Alice (new) **

**Subject: **Edward had reasons **(08/02/2008)**

**7. Sender:****Miller Mart (new) **

**Subject: **Free coupons for your grocery! Offer limited to subscribers till 15th August. **(08/02/2008)**

**8. ****Sender:****Alice (new)**

**Subject: **Please tell me you forgive me. **(08/01/2008)**

**9****. Sender:**** Alice (new)**

**Subject: **I'm sorry. **(07/30/2008)**

**10. Sender:****IMAX (new) **

**Subject: **Utilize your card now to get free tickets for the latest. Summit International movies. Scratch and win today! Lots of exciting surprises await winners.** (07/25/2008)**

**11. Sender:****Jessica (new) **

**Subject: **Mallory is pissed. Get your ass here soon, babes! **(07/10/2008)

* * *

**

I stared at the screen, why couldn't I just live my life? Why did I have to be constantly reminded of events I desperately wanted to forget? Pinching my nose in anger at Alice, I cursed her for wrecking the perfect start to my day. _Well, as perfect as it was expected to be.  
_

I collapsed on my chair with a thud, pressing my fingertips into my temples. I hadn't made my opinion on the matter clear to Jazz because I didn't know what to think myself. I didn't even want to think, anymore. I just wanted to take a new start today, but that had been spoiled before it could even begin. Now, I just wanted to go home. Pack up and leave early.

A knock sounded and I murmured my ascent.

"Hi," Jess squealed, showcasing a silky, tight indigo dress. This week she had purple highlights with a set of fake, misty, magenta nails. _Perfect._

"Hello," I said, with much less enthusiasm. I wasn't half as thrilled to see her, but I liked the notion of having some normality still in my life.

"What was the reason for your absence, missy? Open up…romantic get away?" She asked with hands on both sides of her face for emphasis.

_Pretentious, much?_

"I was sick." _Sick in the mind, sick in the stomach…sick being in my own body._

"You actually expect me to believe that," she said with a disbelieving screech.

"Yes, I actually do," I said, annoyance now seeping into my tone. _Why was that so hard to believe? What did she expect me to say? The truth?_ _So that she could broadcast it live._

Well, she could dream on. No, I wasn't in a dreamy cottage over the past few weeks, I was lying half-dead on a hospital bed. _Was she strong enough to hear about the weeks?_

"I have work, now if you'll excuse me," I said curtly. Opening the pending folders on the table, I observed them, rudely waiting for her to leave.

"What's with you?" She asked, flicking her shiny, blond hair over her bare shoulder.

"I'm busy, Jessica," I said her full name so that she would take the message and just leave.

"Fine, fine. I'm going," she huffed, "I just came to let you know that Mallory has called you in her office."

I rubbed two fingers in between my eyebrows in worry. _What did Lauren want now?_

"Okay, I'll go see her now."

"See you later, babes." Jess said, closing the door behind her before bending back to offer me two thumbs up. "Best of luck! You'll need it."

_You can say that again, _I thought tiredly.

~x~x~x~x~

I stood behind the glass door with fancy, curly golden wings painted on them. They were so wrong for the door leading to the incarnation of the devil. At the flip side, they could also be seen as being representative of Mallory's deceptive beauty. Her nature was her biggest strength and at the same time her greatest flaw that made her the most dangerous creature I had ever met.

Hesitantly, I pushed the doors open and stepped inside. Mrs. Mallory was seated on her red leather couch flipping through one of the latest Paxiou magazine in her lap. Her pale fingers with blood red nails skimmed each line.

"Miss Swan," she acknowledged, not sparing me a look, flipping pages too fast to be actually reading them.

I moved to sit on the seat facing her, the red mocking me.

"I didn't say you could have a seat yet," she said, finally putting away the magazine and looking at me with calculating and cold grey eyes.

I stood aloofly, my head down in shame.

"Welcome back," she said, arrogance personified.

"Why Miss Swan, you certainly didn't have this look on your face at the night of the party. Have a seat," she smirked, sitting back and crossing her long legs. It did not escape my notice that she had a pair of red peep toe shoes. _What is it with this women and red?_

"I was informed about your absence by the hospital a month ago," she said nonchalantly, blowing on her nails before putting them back in her lap. She cocked her head to the side, using a hand to delicately support her chin. "Now, I want to hear it from you."

I stared at her, defenseless, susceptible to her latest strategy. I had not anticipated this, yet here I was again. Panic began to rise in my chest. Suddenly the walls seemed to close on me; the ceiling was coming down on me. It was suffocating.

I stared at the wall behind her. _Focus on tangible objects, Bella. Focus, she can't break your focus. Do not give her that._

"Go on, Miss Swan. I don't have all day to spend with a single employee," she said coolly.

My lungs wheezed involuntarily on the air as I watched her lay her palms flat on the glass table in front of her. Fingers spread apart, nails shining dangerously from the recently applied coat, she leaned her cat like body forward with the stealthy grace of a cheetah.

"Miss Swan, answer my question. Our work has suffered from your sick leave. What is the medical reason behind your absence?" She demanded.

In this moment, I couldn't see Mrs. Mallory anywhere. I was back on the road, drenching in the rain with the fate right in front of me. Except this time I could fight it and _win_.

"You don't have the right to question me about my personal health," I replied in a voice that I didn't recognize as my own. Slowly, I raised my eyes and beating her glare with my own piercing gaze. _Try me_.

Mrs. Mallory shrunk back in shock, her brief gape betraying her surprise. Quickly righting herself, she folded her arms, "Miss Swan, I'm afraid you didn't hear me."

_Let's get even now, shall we._

I gave her a smirk, pulling myself into the hard shield I had discovered. Leaning back, I crossed my legs mirroring her posture before saying, "I heard you just fine, Mrs. Mallory. But, let me remind you as per the state's regulations regarding disclosure of medical issues, employers are not allowed to force or _coerce _an employee to reveal their health status. If the hospital would have thought of it to be necessary you would have known already, but the hospital staff has assured me I am under no legal obligation to disclose anything to you."

It was classic watching Mallory's face going paler as her own moves back fired at her. Gone was the composed lady leaving an angry and unjustified woman. I wanted to laugh at her, mock her with a sneer of my own…but for now this was enough. I had held my own. One more step up.

"Are you doing this to get a rise out of me?" Mrs. Mallory asked, furious at not getting her way for once.

"No," I whispered, "I am just fighting for my privacy. Mrs. Mallory, I am an employee and I reserve the right to keep my personal issues limited to myself."

"Very well, you may get on with your work, Miss Swan. It has suffered quite a bit as it is. Carry on," Mrs. Mallory barked. I could almost see her nostrils flaring.

_The "she-beast."_

I walked out of the office with a smile. I had stood up for myself. Hell, I had stood up against Mallory, and beat her so bad that she was green with defeat. With broad shoulders and my chin up, I completed the return to my office. There were no snickers this time.

"Bella!"

I looked at Mike in question as he held up a letter. "Letter for you," he piped.

_Who would send me a letter? How outdated was that?_

Taking the envelope in my hands, I examined it from side to side, taking in the rich, cloth-like texture of the envelope. It had a historical air to it; an old, western charm…a message sealed with an ancient gold stamp.

Curious by its strange appearance, I took it into my room. Sitting on the seat, I carefully removed the stamp, sticking it on the side of the screen.

_**Personal letter for Miss Isabella M. Swan**_

I traced the beautiful calligraphy with my fingertips; it must have taken a while to learn how to write like that. Intrigued by the letter, I took the yellow, coffee scented paper out.

_**Dear Isabella,**_

_**You may be surprised that I have written you a letter, but I have had a few things on my chest that you must know before I leave for New York again. I have been a coward enough to not come and personally apologize. Sometimes, I worry that the disgust and hate in your eyes for me would be unbearable to experience personally. I have been stalling for a while now, moving back and forth between New York and Seattle, but this has gone too long and it must end today. **_

_**I have written letters to very few people over the years, and I have one last request to ask of you. Please read to the end. I know it's too much to ask, but I will always grateful to you if you do. I promise this is a goodbye letter; I won't interfere in your life and will make myself scarce on the occasion that we come in close proximity ever again.**_

_**I know nothing I say will undo my misdeeds. So I won't beg or plead for forgiveness…because I know you can't forgive me. You shouldn't. I sincerely admit myself that I don't deserve it. This current predicament you find yourself in is solely my fault and you deserve to know the reasons before I perish from your life.**_

_**Isabella, I wasn't able to make it that night. Not because I changed my mind, but a very serious matter came up that couldn't be avoided. My cousin committed suicide, ingesting a highly dangerous dose of sleep medication. Her new housemate tried to wake her up but at the lack of my cousin's arousal, she panicked. In fear, she found my card on my cousin's bedside table and she called me in tears. **_

_**I was on my way to the shop when I received the call. I made a sharp U-turn back to her house, instructing the girl to call the ambulance since she didn't own a car. The girl was rendered incompetent by the shock of the situation and she couldn't function. So I reached their house, lifted my unconscious cousin in my arms after feeling her faint heartbeat. Disregarding all traffic rules, I made it to the hospital just in time. I waited outside her room, pacing back and forth until the doctor finally came out and confirmed that she was out of danger. Thankfully, she had not succeeded in her attempt.**_

_**I was just taking a breath of relief when Alice called me. In my worry and haste to complete the necessary documentation, I had forgotten to inform the other family members. Alice, being Alice, began chattering and questioning me about my visit to the shop. Too tired to grasp much, it took me a while to come to my senses and comprehend what she was asking about. It was then that I realized that you could be waiting for me. Informing Alice of the current situation, and looking at my cousin's stability, I decided to come and pick you up. Alice tried to reach your cell phone but there was no coverage. I stepped on my accelerator and sped to the final location. I don't need to repeat the next set of events as you are well aware.**_

_**This all I can say; I hope it makes my motives clear. Jasper probably doesn't know the true set of events, and I would request that you let him know about what happened that night.**_

_**Please know that I never wished for you to be harmed, Isabella. If I could, I would go back and change it. But I'm only a mortal. I hope with all my heart that you will find it in yourself to walk away from what happened that night. Let your inner light lead you not your fate.**_

_**I am sorrier than you'll ever know, Isabella.**_

_** Sincerely,**_

_** Edward A. Cullen.

* * *

**_

**A/N: Some of you have asked me about an EPOV. Although, I don't have one yet, I thought the letter would give you some insight into the way Edward thinks.**

**So if it isn't a disease or pregnancy, what in the whole world could be the reason behind the marriage? I'll leave you to think about that.**

**There is a pictease for the next chapter that will be posted the thread shortly, go check it out. I'm sure it will make you wonder what happens. The link to the thread can be found on my profile page.**

**Just a request, leave me a review with your thoughts. And like always, there is a teaser for all reviewers!**


	11. Chapter 11  And so we meet again

Hello,

Hope you all are doing great. Thank you for supporting the story with your reviews, alerts and favoriting.

Thank you to **PTB** betas, **OTD673** and **Nijiska**, for their tremendous help.

No warnings this time! Hope you enjoy this one.

* * *

**Chapter 11 – And so we meet again**

The letter had left me in a place where I didn't know how to come back from. A place where I found my life at crossroads. There were only two paths from here.

One, I could accept what I had been told, move on and never look back. Obviously, this included forgetting the letter, possibly locking it in a drawer with a key that would be thrown into the waste bin. That was the smart option, the one that would protect my mind … protect me.

The alternate path was the one I found myself unwillingly leaning towards. The not so sensible path that led me to Edward so that I could relieve his meaningless doubts about himself. The guilt wasn't supposed to be his. It never was. I wanted to talk to him, thank him, apologize to him, say things to him to put his mind at ease.

But what we wanted and what we could have were two separate things. And I knew I couldn't meet Edward again, no matter how much I wished I could. I couldn't see him ever again. Not after our last encounter.

I had told myself to stop, to forget Edward, but it was easier said than done.

Forcing myself to focus, I opened the back up files of the work I had left incomplete. I tried to lose myself in the hum of the computer, in the glare of the screen, in the noisy sounds my printed made. Nothing worked. Instead, the rest of the day found me in a daze, piecing together numerous "what if"- scenarios.

I couldn't seem to be able to put the Edward I knew and the Edward who had written the letter together. It was hard to imagine the man I had met…the angry, reserved business man being able to write something so brutally honest, so quiet...so beautifully painful. That wasn't the man I had seen … but that was only until now.

Throughout the day, I found myself checking my purse repeatedly, to make myself believe that the piece of paper that shook my world actually existed. And damn right, it was reality … worse than it. Even the air seemed to be consumed by the letter's distinct coffe scent.

The day eventually ended leaving me just as restless as before. Returning back home was no different, my mind fixated on the seemingly heavier weight of my hand bag, like a reality nagging me to pull it out into the open.

At dinner, I had brought the letter to Jazz's attention, and he had listened quietly while I went over Edward's reasons. He didn't comment on my trembling voice or the righteousness of Edward's choices. Stating that he wasn't sure what to think right now, he had left his meal unfinished and taken off to his bedroom early that night.

But tonight was different, straying from my otherwise daily routine. There was this overpowering feeling that something was coming. As I lay on my bed, staring at apparent patterns in my ceiling, I knew whatever it was; it was going to change everything to come. The feeling was so disconcerting, like a strange sixth sense. I just knew it. I didn't know how, but I just did. Taking a deep breath to calm my mind, I let my eyes drift closed.

_Tomorrow would be dealt with tomorrow._

~x~x~x~x~

The next few days were marginally better. Work being a pleasant addition to life after the attack. In the midst of all the turns my life was taking, Mrs. Mallory had her eyes specifically tuned on me. I often caught her directed, speculative gaze. Looking away, I reminded myself time and again that I didn't owe her anything.

During the week, I tried to reengage myself in the numerous projects I had left pending, but somehow Edward's letter kept invading my thoughts.

_I'm sorrier than you'll ever know._

I couldn't blame him, I never had. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be able to. It would give me someone to hold accountable for what had happened.

The truth was that Edward's letter had left a deep, all-encompassing impact on my life. My dreams, or should I say nightmares, now featured him in a role too. He just stood there every night watching me like a bystander. No emotion in his deep eyes, his posture frozen, his face vacant. I couldn't remember anything else about those dreams, but I remembered him every night. When I woke up drenched in fear, twitching with anxiety, my eyes were still focused on his face.

Sometimes I thought I should be thankful to him for getting my attention off the horror of the attack. It was so pathetic that I couldn't believe this was me, Bella Swan.

_Why couldn't I just get my life back?_

My inner monologue now always had a _why_ question, I noted scornfully.

Today, it was our monthly meeting to discuss Paxiou performance in the market. It was a means by which Mrs. Mallory delivered her comments on the response to last month's issue. Twelve department members and I were currently seated in the discussion room while we waited for her highness to make an appearance.

While we waited, my thoughts drifted back to the past week. My obsession with having every inch of me covered hadn't changed much, but I had managed to tone it down a notch. Pants and a long sleeved shirt were working just fine. Thankfully, most staff members had kept to themselves, and things were coasting fairly smoothly.

Mrs. Mallory didn't make us wait too long. All members rose in respect as she breezed into the room. _Or in fear of their job security_, I thought mockingly as I rose too, just like the puppet I was. I looked at her as she passed by me, and she answered it with a swift look of hers, before moving her gaze forward. After settling down, she motioned for us to take our seats.

"Good morning, everyone. You all look well, especially Miss Swan…now that she's back." She smiled kindly at me like the pretentious snob she was.

I wanted to show her a certain finger, but like an ashamed employee skipping work, I looked down. _Where's your courage now, Bella? Don't let her get away with that jab at you. It wasn't your fault!_

"Let's move on without wasting any further time." The smile was still firmly plastered on her face; I bet she was pleased with herself.

"Paul?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Paul nodded, collecting his presentation papers.

Paul Niewski, our financial head, usually presented the gains per area. This allowed us to establish which audiences our magazines hadn't reached yet and enabled us to focus us on some topics that may appeal to the crowds there. Of course, that required research into the current events in the neighborhoods, surveys, questionnaires and a whole lot of phone calls.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he welcomed and we smiled in acknowledgment.

The presentation began in full flow and everyone started taking notes to keep in mind for future articles. Questions were asked, all of which Paul expertly answered. I listened intently, noting down all pointers that could make potentially interesting topics considering the focus of the magazine. Soon Denise Oslazi, our web department in charge stepped in to give us a look into the feedback directed at the various sections of the magazine.

"So Lisa's article here has generated a massive response and most readers want to know more about the diet she kind of hinted on, the one without any side-effects. Our readers really seemed to like that testimonial from Mrs. Anderson. I say we have something along those lines next issue. Let's give them what they want! We could research…promote the diet, start a new trend if it works!" She said excitedly.

"Interesting," Lauren commented.

"_Bella…_" A deep, velvet voice whispered in my ear.

I whirled my head to the side, searching for whoever I heard. The seat next to me was empty, there was no one there. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. _That's funny; I could swear I heard someone call me._

Denise was still speaking, and I tried to listen to her again. "I think it would be very useful to have an article focusing on how the theory behind the diet works. The biology, the chemistry of it, how soon you can see results etc. and you know… put it together with some more testimonials. That's where all the power is, the audiences want someone they can relate to."

The voice broke through again. "_Anything. Just say…anything,_" it begged.

Swinging around in my chair, I looked around the room wildly. I wasn't imagining anything. I knew I heard him. I had heard Edward. The others in the room seemed oblivious to my mental struggle.

"So you're saying, that this should be the focus for our next issue?" Lauren asked.

"_Sometimes, I worry that the disgust and hate in your eyes for me would be unbearable to experience personally_,_"_ he said, his voice laced with shame. I could almost see him hunched over, his eyes lowered with guilt.

Sitting up in my chair, I pressed my fingers into the table as I looked around in all directions. _Where was he?_

"That's not very wise, it's quite a controversial topic, and I think we should focus on other possible alternatives. We need originality, issues that actually need some lime light, we need to bank on what hasn't be used, not repeat the same old stuff," Sam suggested.

I turned to Sam to gain my focus, clenching my hand forcefully around my thigh to ignore Edward when he spoke again.

"_I won't interfere in your life, and will make myself scarce on the occasion that we come in close proximity ever again_._"_

It was completely ridiculous that no one could hear him, his voice was louder than anyone in the room, yet it had that unmistakable soft, almost apologetic tenor. It was like sitting in a theatre where he spoke above everyone.

I closed my eyes at the same time I heard him again.

"_I know nothing I say will undo my misdeeds."_

Two warning taps of Mrs. Mallory coated red nails warped me out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes to see her giving me a warning glare. Instantly, I realized the whole room was quiet, and everyone was looking at me.

_Wonderful._

"Miss Swan, I hope you're not bored. I feel it is important to remind you that this meeting shouldn't be taken lightly. Please focus," Mrs. Mallory said haughtily.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, scolding myself for being side tracked.

The meeting continued in full swing while I mentally surveyed all the corners of the room in hope of finding some sign of him. A few minutes later, I felt it. I felt the crackling current in my fingers, the sizzle in the air, the spark in me that I had grown so well-accustomed to in his presence. That moment saw me sit up in anticipation of him.

I glanced up and there he was.

Leaning next to the presentation screen, one leg lazily propped against the wall, and hair mussed in a nest from his incessant tugging. He walked towards me slowly and my heart came alive with each step, its beats drumming in my ears.

He came closer and I looked up, bending my head back so that I could keep my eyes trained on his. He folded his lean frame so that he was kneeling on the floor. Looking up at me with honest, earnest eyes, he continued.

"_Please know that I never wished for you to be harmed, Isabella."_

His words caused him to close his eyes in regret, and I instinctively reached out to touch his cheek, to relieve him of this burden he carried on his shoulders. I traced his prickly cheek and he leaned infinitesimally into my hand. Suddenly, his eyes flickered open, and I realized the emotion in those green embers was no longer one that represented sadness. It was passion.

Cupping his face in my much smaller hands, I rubbed my nimble fingers along his stubble, the gesture making him close his eyes in contentment.

"I forgive you," I whispered.

He kept his eyes closed, as his lips took on a serene smile and his face relaxed into harmony. He was finally at peace with himself and that thought made me blow out a sigh. I felt lightheaded, and my eyes closed too as my lips turned up as I noted with dry humor, the rare tranquility in my buzzing psyche.

"I wish you would share what's so funny with us, Miss Swan?" Mallory sneered, breaking the silence.

Opening my eyes, I looked at her, startled from her sudden presence in our silent bubble. Like a child woken from a deep, restful sleep.

"Miss Swan, were you listening? I just asked you what you thought about including the current discussion in next month's issue." She stated in a raised voice.

I turned back to Edward for help. Only he wasn't there. My hands weren't around his face, they were suspended in mid air with nothing to hold on to. Empty. Just like the emptiness in my mind.

"I apologize, I've just been having a hard time," I mumbled, awkwardly rearranging my hands in my lap, feeling sorry for myself. At the same time, I was ashamed of myself for shirking my duties. I felt like a failure, like someone who didn't earn their pay with hard work.

_I had become a slacker._

"You must learn to keep your personal life separate from your professional life," Mrs. Mallory said sternly in front of everyone.

Unbidden, tears sprang into the holes left by the transient relief I had felt.

"I know," was all I could manage. Looking down, I swallowed the lump in my throat as my eyes filled. The last thing I needed right now was to be a sobbing mess in front of the whole office.

"That's all for today, everyone. Back to your work stations," she said officially.

We all made our way to the door.

"Just a minute, Miss Swan. I would like to talk to you," Mrs. Mallory nodded towards a seat.

Quietly, I sat, my hands anxiously twisting in my lap.

"I just thought I should let you know that things wouldn't have been so hard if you had just told us the reason for your absence. I would have approved of your request to stay on your leave longer. You are a part of this company, perhaps you should start acting like it," she said, clasping her hands in front of her as she rested her elbows on the firm mahogany wood.

I looked at her, confused. _What is she talking about? Part of company?_

She smiled, and alarm bells rang in my head. My blood ran cold as I began to process her words, decoding the possible explanations behind her words made me tense with worry. None of the explanations were good. _Why was she speaking in past tense?_

_What if…?_

No, no, she couldn't know, the police had sworn to protect my privacy. I broke into a cold sweat as the seconds ticked and her smile edged towards the perfect balance between mischievous and cunning.

"You can leave now, Miss Swan. Best of luck," she smiled again, her eyes held a promise of destruction.

Her good wishes were not blessings, something was about to happen. And I knew that the storm I was waiting for was coming.

I walked out of the room grimly, as my mind mulled over what she was planning. _Would_ _I lose my job? _No, probably not, I had salary increments in the short while I worked. I was good at my job; that much I knew. _Then what?_

Entering the washroom, I splashed cool water on my face as I chastened myself for over thinking.

"Give yourself a break, Bella," I murmured to my reflection. Haunted brown eyes stared back me impassively. When my phone started to ring, I diverted my attention to it, checking the screen to see who was calling. _Jazz? At work?_

"Hello?" I answered questioningly.

"Bella," Jazz said in response, his voice uncomfortably quiet. No hi, no hello. Something was wrong.

Very wrong.

"Is everything okay, Jazz?" I asked, my heart in my mouth.

"Come home right now," he replied, not even asking me whether I would be able to make it.

"Okay, now you're scaring me…what's wrong Jazz? Is it Alice?"

"Just get home, Bella. Now. I mean it. Get out of there fast," he ordered, anger filling his voice.

"What's going on?" I asked again. My heart thundered as my eyes stared back me with fear.

"I can't answer your questions right now! If you don't move right now, I am coming to get you myself. You don't have much time. Get. Out. _Fast_!" With that he shut the phone on me, and I stood shell shocked as I heard the dead tone of the phone. Jazz never did that. Not even when he was mad.

I looked at my reflection for a few seconds, and soon Edward's joined mine in the mirror.

With warning and horror in equal proportions on his face, he mouthed the last few words of the letter.

"_Let your inner light lead you, not your fate."_

~x~x~x~x~

I hurried into my building's lift, briefly noting Mr. McAdams worried expression, peculiar because it was so different from months of salty, irate looks. I almost stopped to inquire about him, even if it was my expense. The old man really did look disturbed. I wondered what had happened to upset him so much, but then my thoughts returned to Jazz, and I hastily made my way to the lift.

As the lift doors opened, I rushed to my apartment, my keys jingling as I searched for the correct one. Shoving the key into the lock, I turned it to push the door open, stopping in my tracks when I saw my apartment.

_Darkness._

It was only 12:30 yet the blinds were down and the lights were switched off. I had always adored the sun, the warmth of its rays, the freshness of sunshine and so I wanted as much as I could get. Over the years, I had developed the habit to make sure that all the curtains and shutters were drawn when I woke up every morning. Imagine my surprise when I came home to see my apartment engulfed in darkness in the middle of the day.

Once the shock passed, panic surfaced.

"Jazz!" I shouted, letting my bag drop carelessly to the floor as I ran like a person on fire.

"Jasper, where the hell are you?" I yelled, stumbling into the rooms, looking for him.

I broke into the guest room to find him sitting cross-legged on the bed, his face in his hands.

"Can't you just answer when I call for you," I scolded breathlessly, pressing a hand to my heart to let it know that it was okay.

I dropped on the bed beside him, noting his now much haggard appearance. Our previous conversation invaded my mind and adrenaline kicked right back in. Sitting up quickly, I shook his shoulder.

"Jazz, what's wrong? Why did you call me? Why did I need to come home urgently?" I asked quickly, shooting one question after the other.

He didn't even raise his face to see me. I noticed how the only indication that he knew I was here was the higher pressure of his fingers against his forehead.

"Jazz…" I patted his back, rubbing it to get a response from him.

Then he raised his eyes. Angry, furious eyes.

_He was pissed._

"What happened?" I asked, tentatively placing my hand on top of his balled up fist.

Wordlessly, Jazz picked up the TV remote control and pressed the power button with more ardor than required. That's when I saw the news and my hand slipped away from his.

On the wide, flat screen TV, the news channel was displaying a picture of a semiconscious me held in Edward's arms, his eyes directed right at the camera.

No.

I looked at Jazz, hoping this was some prank of his. In return, he pointedly glared at the TV refusing to look at me. The reporter soon began talking.

"_This picture shows New York based entrepreneur, Edward Cullen, and Paxiou editor, Bella Swan. Taken on July 10__th__ on Matrew Street, the picture was forwarded to our channel and several others by an anonymous source._

_The two have not been linked previously, but this picture takes on an interesting meaning when one surveys the background behind these people. Our contacts have revealed that Edward Cullen was in town four weeks ago for a negotiation that didn't work out eventually. This impending deal concerned Seattle elite, Tyler Mallory. What is even more intriguing about this is that Mr. Mallory's wife, Lauren Mallory, is the owner of Paxiou, the magazine Miss Swan works for. _

_Also note that during the last month Edward Cullen has been repeatedly spotted in Seattle, traveling frequently between it and New York. It really makes one wonder what it is that pulls Mr. Cullen here._

_While we don't know the story behind the picture, there is a theory is spreading like fire on internet. We can't be certain how credible the reasoning behind it is, but here is something an anonymous source called 'The Insider' states. According to 'The Insider', Miss Swan was injured and Mr. Cullen came to the rescue that night. Could this be true? Or is there something more to this than meets the eye? Has someone made a fake story and posted it on the blogs?_

_Mr. Cullen's spokesperson has refused to comment and we haven't been able to establish contact with the Paxiou staff either. What is the true story behind the mystery?_

_Only time will tell. Stay tuned for more on FTV, for full coverage and the real story. Diana Heather reporting_."

Jazz switched off the TV. We sat quietly, no words were exchanged. After a while, Jazz attempted to permeate the silence.

Tears clouded my vision, trickling down my cheeks. _Edward knew. He knew that someone took the picture, and yet he failed to mention anything to me._

"He used you, Bella. For publicity. I can't believe he would stoop so low." Jazz said heatedly.

"He has no morals; I told you there was something wrong about him right from the start. I would _love _to hear Alice's take on this," he stopped, slamming his fist into the mattress. "See how she protects her brother from this one. He was staring right at the camera. The fucker was _posing_," he swore loudly. After a few moments, he finally noticed my silence.

"Bella, why don't you say something?" He probed, his voice now soft…worried.

_What was left to say? Did anyone even want to hear me? If everyone had their own opinions, did mine even matter?_

"Look on the bright side, they didn't find out what happened," Jazz commented weakly, the sadness in his voice failing to show me any sign of improvement in the current circumstances.

"It's not going to stop them," I said in a low voice. "They won't give it rest until they find out what happened. The media never gives up; they are always searching for those loopholes which everyone misses. And they will find it."

I felt desolate, all doors were closed. I was the prey, just waiting for my turn to be gobbled.

"I know it," I choked, my tears now running without restraint, "now everyone is going to know." It was all so much now, I didn't know how I was going to deal with this now.

"I'll kill Cullen before anything like that happens," Jazz ground out.

"They'll be there tomorrow when I go to work. The media. And they'll ask me questions. What am I going to say?" I cried in anguish, my face in my hands.

"I know. That's why I told you to rush home. I was worried that the media would catch you before I had a chance to inform you. You just wouldn't be ready," Jazz stated, pulling his hair.

"Are you going back?" Jazz asked, "I mean, it's only 1:15."

"I told them I needed to get off for today," I mumbled, moving back towards the head board.

"Get some rest. You'll need your strength for tomorrow. You can do it," Jazz encouraged, patting my shoulder.

I pulled his comforter over my head, giving him the sign I wasn't in the mood to talk.

I didn't sleep that night, I only stared at my phone screen as it rang repeatedly.

**Charlie calling…**

~x~x~x~x~

I watched as the dark of the night morphed into the purple of dawn. Sunshine had decided to not make an appearance today. Hours passed as I saw the sleeping Seattle fog over, the thick cover obscuring everything. In a way it was like me, I couldn't see what was about to happen today. There would be no routine today, only surprises. And I wasn't sure how ready I was to face them.

Timidly, I began getting ready for work, apprehension clawing at my insides. Today wouldn't be good…it couldn't be good. The storm was lingering around waiting to hit me when I was defenseless.

My appetite was low, and with an enormous effort I had finally consumed a single dry toast with black coffee, my thoughts as empty as my stomach. Taking a deep breath, I picked up my bag making my way out of the apartment to the lift. I didn't miss the supposedly surreptitious glance Mr. McAdams threw my way and I took a shuddering breath as my control wavered.

_Be brave, Bella. You haven't got the worst of it yet._

Things were bad, especially when I stepped into the office and everyone grew quiet. For a minute, I just stood still, shocked by the sudden change in atmosphere. A moment passed, and I found myself still rooted to the ground, staring down at my feet.

_Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. _

I heard the loud claps of a person and my eyes quickly found the movement.

Mrs. Mallory.

Walking towards me swiftly, she stopped right in front of me. Taking my arm she pulled me to the side.

"So Miss Swan, we've made the headlines today, have we?" She hissed.

"You have pulled the name of our magazine into a controversy, now could you please be so kind to answer where you were that night, and what exactly happened?"

My lips remained glued as I looked down.

"We have to give answers even if Mr. Cullen doesn't want to. We are the press!"

"Excuse me, could you just give me a moment?" I mumbled hastily, making a quick run for my room.

I banged the door closed with fervor, flattening my hands over it so that I could press it into the wall. My mind worried that Mallory would come in barging through the door if I didn't hold it closed. I leaned my forehead against the door, trying to calm my frenzied psyche.

"It's okay," I comforted myself. "We'll think of something."

But I knew I wouldn't.

"I'd think twice before I told myself that," a masculine voice I knew so, so well rumbled.

I turned around so quickly, my right shoulder knocking the door in the process.

Dressed in warm beige, arms crossed, was Edward Cullen. Looking as dashing as ever in his designer suit, he was beautiful, yet those green eyes were tired, his disorderly hair more disorganized than they could ever get. He looked pale…really, really pale.

"Hello, Bella."

For a minute, I thought I was imagining him again. I moved slowly towards my desk, expecting him to vanish from the spot next to my window.

He didn't.

Instead, he straightened out, clearing his throat as I gaped at his movements. He was even more real than the last time I had imagined him.

"I realize that I promised not to return, and I know you're surprised. I just needed to talk to you about the news," he said quietly, frowning at the end.

_He's not repeating lines…_

"Bella, are you okay? You look faint, do you need some help?" He asked with concern, his eyes peering at me from above, as he moved his hand to brush my shoulder with his fingertips.

The zap his fingers passed brought me out of my trance, as my eyes focused on worried face. Taking his wrist in my hand, I removed it from my shoulder with a jerk, looking at it with disgust.

"Don't touch me," I said, my voice deathly calm.

Edward stepped back in shock, his eyes wide with surprise…and fear.

I glared at him, letting my anger take over my mind. I took a menacing step towards him.

"How dare you?" I scolded. Edward opened and closed his mouth as he tried to come up with an appropriate answer.

"Who gave you the right to step in my office_, Mr. Cullen_?" I asked, taking another step in his direction, my eyes burning with fury I felt, all my weeks of frustration clouding my vision, blowing him with all my anger on the lack of control over my life.

_This was entirely his fault, yet he had the guts to show his face here. _

"Bella-" Edward began, his hands in front of him as he tried to stop my advance.

"No, you will listen to me today."

"All this…publicity, I must ask you because my mind fails me as I try to find an answer. How could you? Do you even know what posting a picture like that would do to me?" I questioned him, my voice dropping as I ended.

"Do you not know what a woman's respect is to her?" I asked, pain traitorously seeping in.

"Did you really think I would be able to stand something like this? The impact on my life -" I stopped as a sob slipped between my lips, my eyes swimming with moisture.

Unable to hold my composure, I collapsed on my chair, feeling powerless, not the strength the chair usually imparted to me. Today, for the first time ever, it was not enough. I covered my face with my hands, trying and failing to gain my composure. I had wanted to make Edward feel the consequences of his actions, but I had failed, instead showing my vulnerability to him as the last few weeks washed over my memory.

"Bella." I didn't have the strength to tell him to stop, so I stayed silent, resting my head on my folded arms in surrender.

"Bella," Edward called again, his voice so much closer. I lifted my head slightly to see him on the floor near my chair. _Stop imagining things, Bella. Stop it!_

With determination, he touched my knee lightly. His eyes as soft as his voice when he spoke, "I didn't give the press the picture, Bella."

I wanted to shout at him, tell him to pack his lies and return to where he had come from. But I couldn't because a second glance in to those two green glass mirrors gave me the answer I was looking for. He was saying the truth.

"Give me one reason why I should believe you," I sniffed.

"I don't expect you to, but I swear on my sister's life that I say nothing but the truth. Please believe me, Bella." He pleaded, his knees on the floor, his honest eyes standing up in his defense.

"Who else would do this to me, Edward? If it's not you doing this for publicity, who hates me so much to do this?" I asked, my voice weak.

Anger flashed across Edward's face as he moved away from me, getting off his knees to rise to his full height.

"You think I would do this for publicity?" He asked, resentment freely flowing. "Let me give you a quick look at things from my eyes. The media is after me, not giving me space to breathe. I am projected as some hero, I'm not. Whoever is playing this game is very smart; this move brings more attention to me not only from the media but also from the police."

"I don't understand."

"Bella, who do you think the police suspects to have a part in this?" Edward asked, exasperated.

"You?" I asked, horrified.

"Bingo," Edward said bitterly. "The police don't have evidence, even though you've said it in the statement that I didn't have anything do with the attack, they still think otherwise. Let's just say the police aren't ready to believe you yet. We are both being targeted by someone."

"Who?" I whispered, already knowing the answer but unable to believe my impulse.

"I don't have evidence, but I'd bet my life that Tyler and Lauren Mallory are behind everything."

I gasped, my hand going to my mouth. "Why would they?" I asked disbelievingly.

Edward smiled ruefully, his eyes bitter, "They want revenge. I called the deal off, I wasn't happy with the terms. Besides, Tyler isn't one I'd mark as honest. You are coming into this because Paxiou was hoping to expand from the cash on this deal. Lauren's spirits are damp, and she doesn't take defeat well. So she searches for a link with me and guess who she finds. You, Bella," he said, glancing at me briefly.

"I just know it that she got her hands on the photo and she distributed it around. Pictures can be taken with cell phones, I wasn't sure that night but I just had this feeling someone was following us in the hospital. I missed the click, I kept looking around so that's probably when someone caught the shot. When I suspected something, I asked the police to keep your investigation especially private. I didn't want the matter to go out of hand if you weren't sure that you wanted the media to be a part of this."

"I can't believe this," I said, shaking my head. "What are we going to do now?" I asked, hope in my voice.

"If the Mallorys want dirty, they'll get dirty. We'll beat them at their own game. They'll be sorry…I promise you, they aren't going to get away with this."

"What do I have to do?" I asked, confused. _Why isn't he getting to the point?_

Edward stopped looking through the window, turning to face me. His eyes appraised me for a long while, searching, probing, for what…I had no clue. Walking toward me with a purposeful stride, he stopped just a few steps short. I rose from my chair, mesmerized by the intensity in his eyes.

"Before I answer your question, I have one for you. How far are you willing to go, Bella?" He whispered, his voice a challenge.

"What's your limit, Bella?" He asked again, his eyes blazing green as he advanced towards me. Putting his hands on my shoulders, he pulled me towards him, a question in his touch.

I looked up at him, strung to him by an imaginary rope that seems to tie me to him tighter. Charge burst in flames around us, encircling us in the ring of its fire, and I knew then that my answer would change everything.

"How far do I have to go?" I breathed, my eyes connected with his.

Edward's hold strengthened on my shoulders as he spoke deeply, his voice thick with emotion, shocking my entire being with his next words.

"You'll have to marry me."

* * *

**A/N**: **Will Bella say yes? How is a marriage going to solve the problem, and what is it that Edward has in mind?**

Currently, I'm out of town and will be until mid-August. I'll hardly be able to access the internet between 26th July and 9th August due to another change of location. So there won't be any updates at till then.

Due to the traveling and issues with PMing on twi, the teaser will be posted on the thread and so will the pictease as soon as I complete the next chapter.

With all that said, I'd love to hear a few words about what you thought of this chapter.


	12. Chapter 12 – Surrender to Destiny

**Hello again!**

**Yes, it's been a while. I just got back home on the 18****th****...so I hope I'm forgiven for the longer than usual delay. Hope you all had a fantastic summer. Thank you so much for all the support, it totally made my days (does that make any sense?) Thank you to my wonderful betas, Nijiska and OTD673, for their help. **

**On to the next. It is longer than the rest to make up for the delay.

* * *

**

**Chapter 12 – Surrender to Destiny**

The world ceased to exist while we both stared at each other. Edward's eyes got impossibly stronger with determination as my thoughts scattered all over the place. Edward's gaze didn't cower as he gave me time to process those five words that had my heart going for a sprint.

I tried to say something, but my throat was dry, my voice unable to allow itself to be heard. Edward decided to solve the problem for me.

"I know it's hard to take in. I've thought a lot about this, and I've come to the conclusion that this way works best if we want to stop the media from digging out the truth," he stated as though he was discussing a business deal. Extricating his hands from my shoulders, he moved to stand by the window, green gazing into the endless blue of the sky.

It was shocking how impassive he was. So cool, so unaffected. His calmness about the ordeal set off my anger.

"Do you even know what you're talking about?" I questioned angrily.

"I do. However, I can understand why you're so shaken," he said, his eyes still fixated on the outside world. This wasn't a surprise to him but it sure as hell was to me.

"Marrying you is going to do nothing to stop the media!" I exclaimed. "The rumors aren't going to stop, they'll just get worse, Edward."

"That's what you think, Bella," he said, finally moving his gaze to meet my exasperated one. Moving to my desk, he pulled out the two chairs, maneuvering them so that they were facing each other.

Looking at me, he gestured to one of the chairs, "Have a seat."

_Well, thank you very much, but this is my office!_

Glancing at the door, he asked, "Is the door locked?"

"Yes!" I almost screamed at him. I couldn't believe we were actually discussing this. Taking a deep breath to rein in my temper, I moved to take the chair, eyeing Edward warily as he stood behind my chair, hands behind his back.

Once he had made sure I was _comfortable,_ he took the other seat. Opening his silver briefcase, he took a brown Manila folder out, holding it out to me.

Grasping the folder and trying to ignore the accidental brush of our fingers, I asked shakily, "What is this?"

"See for yourself," Edward answered, sitting up straighter to watch me unfold the mystery envelope.

The envelope had a single photograph. The one photograph that had tied our fates together.

"How did you get this?" I murmured as my eyes scanned the photograph, my insides squeezing as raw wounds threatened to ache again.

"That's not important. Now, tell me, what do you see when you look at this picture?" Edward asked. Puzzled by his tone, I looked up at him.

"We both know what I see… I'm unconscious, you're carrying me. There is nothing more to the picture," I claimed, frowning as I tried to understand where he was going with this. Edward stared at me expectantly, and I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion.

"Wait… is there?" I asked, trying to decipher the meaning behind his cryptic words.

Taking the picture from my hands, Edward leaned back on the chair, staring intently at the photo. "I'll tell you what I see. I see a man shocked at encountering a surprise photographer. I see the man's fiancée hiding her face in his neck, eyes closed in bliss as she tries to conceal her smile and happiness at being proposed. I see them both in each other's arms, celebrating their engagement. Until someone clicks a picture and the man detects that, but the women is too lost in their embrace to notice."

My eyes widened as my mouth fell open in shock, "That can't work…can it?" I asked, rendered speechless.

Edward turned his attention to me, smiling wryly before saying, "I'm not done yet, Bella. There is more to the story…"

He handed me the picture back, and sure enough, it was impossible to tell. Edward had arranged me in such a way that my face was buried in his neck. My arms were wrapped around his neck, a fact that confused me. _Had I regained consciousness somewhere in the middle?_

Apart from that, Edward's arms were tightly wrapped around me, holding me close to his chest. We looked like a perfectly happy couple in love.

He was a genius…no one could tell. The picture could easily be interpreted in several ways. The media were fed a story. There was no other way they could have known the sparse bits of truth they did know.

Turning back to the photo in my hands, he continued, "The man quits a prospective deal because the future looks unsteady for the pending negotiation. The bargainer loses his cool and decides to target the man, but is unable to find any lose threads to use against him. The bargainer's wife finds what they both are looking for and together they try to form a story that puts the engaged couple in trouble.

The newly engaged couple wasn't ready to break the news to the world yet, but now, when all sides begin threatening their defenses, what will they do?"

"Admit their relationship, state that they're being targeted," I breathed, now realizing.

"That's right," Edward replied. "And in the end, the Mallorys are exposed for who they are. So that people can see their real faces, the malice and lies behind the glamour."

My eyes watched his face as he accurately stated my thoughts. In my mind, my respect for him greatly increased as I took note of the synchrony in the way we thought. No matter how different we were at all levels…at least we met somewhere in the middle.

"But what about the hospital staff? Can't they just say the truth?" I wondered aloud.

"The law gives victims privacy, even when they report an attack. So your information will remain confidential unless you want to break it to the world. If you're worried about them accessing public records, don't worry about that. You're information isn't going to leak, I used some contacts to ensure it was left intact," he said, looking at me pointedly.

I looked down as I noted with gratitude how much he had done for me already. And he was here again today for me. Edward continued before I had a chance to ponder further on the thought.

"However, sometimes hackers illegally access the files which are bound by security. I doubt any news channel or tabloid will do that…theft is suicide for them if they get caught, and the police often do lay charges on the organizations involved for breaching privacy. And that effectively destroys the organization's reputation. So for now, we need to deflect the matter in our favor, before someone spreads the true incident on the internet."

Another thought nudged my mind, and I decided to share it.

"Why do we need to have an actual marriage? Can't we just have something like breaking the engagement off? Or something like…I had agreed to be your...um…girlfriend?" I stammered.

"That paints us in bad light; it makes us the liars. We can't do that. We need to go with the marriage in the next two weeks. As for the girlfriend plan…that can't work. That's a very obviously manufactured story and that comes out in the open as soon as I leave for New York. We need something more lasting…more believable. Besides, if I left you here by yourself, the media will sabotage you to an end. It's hard working around them…I'm sure you understand that better than me," Edward mentioned the last part quietly.

"And the police aren't going to come after you…they'll let you go too. So you won't have to keep returning," I uttered, as I began to process the advantages behind his plan.

"What makes you think they stop me from staying in New York?" He asked, seeking my eyes as sadness became apparent in his voice.

At the change in the tenor of the conversation, I swallowed nervously as another line from the letter hit me.

"_I have been stalling for a while now, moving back and forth between New York and Seattle, but this has gone too long and it must end today."_

Edward decided to switch from awkwardness to a more formal tone, "Don't worry about me, Bella. I know how to protect myself. This is about you."

"I can protect myself, too. I don't need saving," I responded indignantly, although my voice lacked conviction. Because in truth, I did need saving. I needed a certain someone who knew exactly what to do…unlike me. Edward seemed just right.

"That's your choice, I don't want to impose this on you. I just had to let you know that you have other options if you aren't ready to face the press," Edward said hesitantly, trying and failing to appear unfazed by my outburst.

"If I say 'yes,'" I swallowed, "will we say all this in a press conference?"

"Not exactly. My brother works for New York Times. He can help us. We just claim we're engaged. That's it. The media itself will spread the news that we're being targeted. If the Mallorys know how to spread a rumor, we have to know how to make a thing or two public, should the need arises. The fact that New York is much larger than Seattle works to our advantage. We will get the chance for more reporters to spread our story."

"So how long would we have to go with the pretense?" I asked tentatively.

"Two years." Edward stated firmly. My body jerked forward with surprise, and I gaped at him. _What?_

"Two years?" I repeated, dumbfounded. _Had he seriously lost his mind?_

Edward regarded me coolly before continuing.

"Yes, we need people to believe our version. Otherwise, the Mallorys will gain sympathy by claiming that I broke the deal because you urged me to. That you didn't want me to go with it, and sadly they got trapped in the mix. You and I will become the evil masterminds behind a plan we never made. At the end of the day, they'll be rich due to all the publicity they started by selling the photograph, and they will make up for the money they lost in the deal. Well played," Edward said angrily.

After calming down slightly, he continued, "Basically, we are beating around the bush. We'll divert the media without ever letting them know what actually happened. Now everything is up to you," he finished, holding me with his intense eyes.

The more I thought about it, the more a key question fluttered around in my psyche.

_How could he marry someone if he already has a girlfriend?_

"What about Rosalie?" I questioned.

"What about her?" Edward asked, his forehead creasing in confusion.

"How can you propose something this when you're already in a relationship? Are you planning to ditch her and all the _others_?" I glared.

"I'm not in any relationship," Edward declared haughtily before continuing, "Contrary to what you think of me, I am not the sort of person who indulges in affairs with women in a situation like this." He glared right back.

"Oh." I mumbled.

_But what about the redhead?_

I decided to keep my mouth shut about that question.

"Rosalie is just a friend. We went on a few random dates on several occasions, thanks to Alice," he stated, his mouth turning up in a sardonic twist. He changed the topic on my lack of response.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, peering at me with a genuinely curious expression.

Looking at him helplessly, I clasped my hands on my knees.

"This is absurd, Edward. This is real life we are talking about, not some twisted suspense movie."

"I am well aware of that, but at this point, this is all I can think of. We can confront the media about the picture if you want to. We can try, but similar cases have lost in court. If we do take this to court, the marriage won't remain an option. The truth about the night will be brought up. Do you want to take this to court?"

"No," I mumbled, "I can't do that. I'm not cut out for that."

"Then agree to this arrangement, Bella. You won't regret it. That much I can promise," he claimed, sincerity radiating from him.

I looked at him, still unsure, worried…lost. He looked down at his hands for a few silent moments while I stared at him and he, away from me. At my silence, Edward got up.

In a low voice he began, "I've got my answer. I won't take any more of your time. Goodbye, Bella."

With that, he started to move to the door. Unable to see him walk away from my life again, instinct took over, and I got up, gaining on him before he could reach the door. Lightly touching his arm, I looked up at him. Edward halted, still not facing me, ready to hear his predicament.

"You've lost you're mind," I said. Still Edward didn't turn around, but I could see the lift of his cheek in a sardonic smile.

"I'm often told so."

"Edward, you know this is madness," I pleaded

"Are you ready to be a part of it?" He challenged, turning around to reveal the power of his hypnotic eyes on me.

"I don't know… I don't know if I can do this," I stated apprehensively. "This could turn out bad," I added worriedly.

"No doubt," He commented, searching my eyes.

"Do you really think this will work?" I asked doubtfully.

"No plan is foolproof. It's what I do, it's called risk-taking," He responded, eyes full of promise.

"I can't risk my life, my respect, my dignity? Marrying for something like this…that's so wrong," I argued, my resolve crumbling as my voice began to tremble at the extent of danger in the plan.

"The choice is yours, the questions are too. Only you can find the answers," he paused.

"I won't do that for you, Bella." Determination hard and clear in his voice.

"I need time, Edward." I raised my eyes to him in askance.

Edward shook his head lightly, a morose expression on his face. "We don't have much of that. I need an answer fast. If we want the media to believe us, we can't take a lot of time. The later we decide, the more the public will think that we are formulating a story."

Edward quickly dug into his pocket, taking a card out and scribbling something on it.

"Here," he said, handing me the card. "This is my personal phone number, and at the back there is my hotel's number…I'll be in room 402. My flight leaves in two days."

I remained quiet, _so he was going to go again_. Paralyzed, I stood there as his hand reached out to me in a possible expression of solace. Hesitation slowed his movement, his hand stopping with my breathing. The lowering of my eyes did little to discourage him, and his hand finally reached my cheek.

Caressing it lightly, almost shyly, he moved his fingertips in soft strokes from below my left eye to my chin. "You need to know that there will be no going back, Bella. Once you set out to walk on this path, you don't look back. You won't be able to…that doesn't stay as an option. Make a sensible decision. This will change your life. You can fight this on your own, _I_ know you can. I don't need to be a part of this, but I want to be able to help," he ended quietly, smoothing my hair from my forehead.

"You have your whole life ahead of you. You could find someone you love…don't force yourself to give up all that for this…_arrangement_. The decision was and always will be yours. I'll be there whenever you need my help."

That was his parting line, a line that did not need to be concluded with a goodbye.

Dragging his feet backwards, he backed away watching my face as I watched his parting shoes. A foreign emptiness exploding in my chest, forcing me grab Edward and pull him back to me, where he should have belonged.

But I wouldn't let him.

That didn't soothe the shattering … breaking beats of my heart. It pounded angrily, demanding me to make a move before it was too late.

"Wait."

I finally looked up at him, questions burning my mind.

"Why are you doing this for me? Why are you so compelled to help me…we don't even know each other…then why?"

Edward closed his eyes, shaking his head…yet again.

"Some things are best left unsaid. Take care of yourself."

With that, he turned back to the door, his hand pausing on the metal handle when my I spoke a last fact he deserved to know. The one thing I owed him for all his kindness.

"It was never your fault, Edward. I don't blame you…but if it makes things any better, I forgive you."

Edward took a shuddering breath, his body heaving with its after effects, and for a minute…I saw and felt that vulnerability that occasionally broke through. With a weak voice, he replied.

"Thank you. That means more to me than words could every say."

The door clicked closed. And just like before, he was gone.

~x~x~x~x~

The silence in my room was deafening. I just wanted to hear something, anything. Anything that would disturb this static moment. Fortunately, for me that disturbance came in the form of Jessica bursting into the room.

"Jesus! Woman, how did you get into the news? And was the guy that walked out a while ago, Edward _Cullen_?"

Jessica dragged me over to my window. And if things couldn't look any better, there was a whole crowd of cameramen and reporters on the street below. _Even_ better, Mrs. Mallory dominating the centre of the crowd.

I stared on blankly as Jessica filled me in on what was happening.

"The reporters are asking Mallory about the picture. The deal, your involvement with Cullen and 'The Insider.' What's going on, Bella? This is serious! Mallory is on the verge of exploding. How serious are things between you and Cullen? And-"

"Excuse me!" I interrupted harshly. "What I do or don't do is none of your concern."

Looking at the hurt expression on her face, I quickly reshaped my words, my tone softer, "Please stay out of this, Jess."

"I was just trying to help," Jessica grumbled, her face turning sour with offense.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, though I didn't know for what. Not sure how much I could handle, I started advancing towards the adjoining washroom.

Alone in the washroom, I staggered back against the tiled wall. Slowly, I slid to the floor, my knees protectively tucking themselves into my chest. Tracing the delicates patterns on the floor with my fingertips, I distracted myself from the disaster awaiting me downstairs.

From somewhere far away, my mother's voice rang loudly in my ears.

"_Sweetheart, always remember life never gives you more than you can handle."_

I had been seven years old. Scoring the poorest in maths tests had become my description. My weakness in the subject made my class teacher, Miss Holmes, change my seating arrangement, such that I was seated next to the most maths proficient nerd in the class.

The other children had mocked me endlessly about it. Angry with tears, I ran back home, pounding on the door with my small fist. Renee had looked bewildered at my unruly appearance. Picking me up, she carried me to our cozy living room sofa, shushing me with reassuring pats.

I could remember the concern in her eyes, as she heard my story intently. Combing my hair, she had said this line as she promised that we would work harder until Miss Holmes could see what Bella Swan was made of.

She never lived to keep her end of the promise.

A phone beep brought me out of my childhood memories. It was Jazz's message.

**How are you holding up? Call me when you can. **

Dialing his number, I held the phone close to my ear.

"Bella?" Jazz said my name with surprise

"Jazz." I responded, unable to say more.

"Mallory was hard on you, wasn't she?" Jazz said knowingly. "What happened?"

"I'm famous," I announced.

"Pardon me?"

"The press is waiting for me to arrive downstairs."

"Shit!" He paused, taking a breath before continuing, "Whatever you do, don't step outside."

Surprisingly, his panicked tone made me laugh. However, my voice came out as a strange, discordant sound of a strangled cry.

"You worry too much, Jazz," I said nonchalantly, a haze beginning to crowd my vision.

"Bella, are you okay?"

Dizzy and spent, I didn't respond, holding a hand to my forehead as I began to see two sinks.

"Where are you?" Jazz demanded.

"Washroom," I managed.

"I'm coming to get you."

_Click._

~x~x~x~x~

Life holds many surprises for us. Shocking events arrive at our doorstep when we least expect them to. Amongst those more frequent, pleasant surprises lie the rare, undesirable ones.

One of which stood in front of me in the form of Forks Chief of Police, Charles Swan.

My gaze moved from the respected chief to my friend, Jasper Hale, who had involved my father into this mess against my wishes.

"Let's go home, Bella." Jazz said, his eyes guilty.

"Come on, Princess." The brave chief said to me, his voice breaking on my nickname. I watched as my father held out his hand to me.

"Get up now, Bells," he said, taking my hand and pulling me to a standing position.

Taking me by the arm, he led me out of the washroom and the office to the front reception where we found a fuming Mallory, her pointed shoes tapping the floor impatiently.

"Mrs. Mallory, we will be leaving now. Thank you for your cooperation," Charlie said gruffly.

"Of course, officer." Mallory replied politely, her hawk-like eyes unwavering from me.

Together, the three of us left Paxiou in silence, unexpected considering the swarm I had seen previously. The area was now wiped clear of any sign of media, it didn't take a genius to know that the police had clearly played a role.

The ride to my apartment was quiet. However, the silence failed to mask the emotions that settled in the car. Jazz's desperation was clear in the anxious bouncing motion of his knee, in his imperceptible rocking and the number of times he nudged my hand in an attempt to get a response from me.

I didn't give him any sign that I was okay with what he had done because very simply, I wasn't. My mind had recovered from its temporary blur and the clearer my thoughts became, the more horrifying were the possibilities of what Charlie now knew. I didn't enjoy deluding myself into believing he was completely unaware of the mess I was in. What I hoped was that Jazz had made up some false story and fed that to the Charlie, but even I knew better. The chief was not one to be fooled easily.

His faint pallor told me the same. The rear view mirror had revealed a prominent redness along the rims of his lids. The sadness in his matching brown eyes gave me an answer that I wished was incorrect.

Charlie had been crying.

But Charlie never cried. Some had said the man had not shed a single tear on his wife's funeral.

_Jazz had given away more than he should have._ Just how much was the question right now.

After parking the car, we headed towards the building. In the tightly enclosed space of the lift, I had a greater opportunity to observe Charlie's physical appearance. His poor drinking habit revealed itself frequently in the form of unkempt hair and a shabby dressing style, but there were accessories the man never forgot. Things that were missing today; like his brown leather Roots watch, the cream oval cuff links, and his signature police chief cap.

I suspected that Jazz had talked to Charlie after our conversation earlier this morning. Whatever was said definitely came as a shock to Charlie and was very likely the reason for Charlie's appearance.

Entering our apartment, I quickly advanced toward my room, but I was cut short by Charlie's demanding voice.

"Just a minute, young lady."

As if sensing my deer-in-headlights response, he softened his tone, "Why don't you come and sit with me for a while?"

Like an obedient daughter, I took my place on the sofa next to his, sending an angry glare in Jazz's direction. Jazz looked away, walking out of the room a moment later to give us privacy.

_You're ashamed now, where was your conscience when you chose to involve my father!_

"Why didn't you tell me, Bella?" Charlie's voice began softly.

_What was one supposed to say that?_ Left mute, I looked down, crossing my hands in my lap.

"I could have helped, you know." He said quietly, placing hand on top of time to put an end to my fidgeting.

"I didn't want you to be a part of it," I replied tensely.

"I'm your father, it's my right." He spoke like it was most the obvious thing on Earth.

_Well, it wasn't to me._ And the thought fueled my anger. He was never there.

Not on those early Christmas morning where everyone received calls from their loved ones, not on my graduation where parents lovingly embraced my peers on their achievement, not even on my birthday when I received many messages, but my father failed to send me the simple greeting I yearned for all day long.

"No it's not," I responded indignantly. "Jazz shouldn't have even told you about this, just forget it Charlie. I'm okay."

"I can't just forget this, Bella. I _am_ a part of your life. Look, I know I'm not the best father and there have been times where I haven't done what I should have. And I'm sorry about that, Bella. But just don't block me out, okay? If Jazz wouldn't have told me about...about...that...night-" Charlie looked away, saying his next words with great difficulty.

"The night that you were raped."

A slicing pain ripped through my chest when he said the last word. And I realized how much I hated hearing it. Closing my eyes in indescribable agony, I pressed my lips together in a feeble attempt to control the sob that bubbled its way up my throat. And I knew that I had to get out of here at once or endure the torture that walked me through the worst night of my life.

Standing up, I grabbed my handbag quickly, making a mad dash for the apartment door.

"Bella! Listen to me-"

"Just let me be, Charlie. Just please, for God's sake," I practically begged, slamming the door shut, running down the hall to the lift.

Letting myself into the safe cavern, I took a deep breath after pressing the stop button. I pressed my hands to my heart as I heard it beating twice as fast. And surprisingly in this not so quiet moment, I felt myself grasping onto an epiphany.

It could all be so easy. All I had to do was say "yes." A single magical word that would get me out of this media trouble, the single word that would silence anyone who questioned me because for once I would have someone to answer the questions for me.

I pictured his eyes as he silently kneeled by my side. The side of my head hit the wall of the lift as I defiantly shook it no, trying to convince myself.

_Why is this happening to me?_ I thought pathetically.

"_Sweetheart, always remember life never gives you more than you can handle."_

Perhaps Renee's words would hold some wisdom.

~x~x~x~x~

The next day found me in Mrs. Mallory's office early in the day. Last night, when I had returned to my apartment, the door had opened to a visibly upset Charlie. I had walked past him wordlessly, my shoulder brushing his as my silent steps walked me into my room. Today was very much like yesterday so far. The same silent, yet disparaging looks. The same questions in everyone's eyes; the blaming looks were persistent as though I was responsible for the deal break.

Maybe that's why I found myself standing in Lauren's office, in front of the delicate glass doors. Taking lesson from last time, I didn't find a place to sit.

"Hello Miss Swan," Lauren started, her appearance frustrated, tired.

"You called for me?" I asked.

"Yes, I have to talk to you about something crucial." She said, her eyes cool and gray.

She stared at me for a long while before speaking, "Have a seat," she stated, almost absently.

And it was strange because she wasn't being as degrading as she always was.

"Yes?" I questioned, now worried about the silence in her mood.

She handed me a letter with Paxiou symbol stretched artistically at the front of the envelope. Three pillars with intricate swirls painted on them standing in a row, fashion, health and beauty. The three parts that completed a woman.

I took the letter from her, confused and worried, _is this another letter from Edward?_

Removing the letter from the envelope, I asked Mrs. Mallory, "What is this?"

"Your letter of termination."

My eyes flashed to Mrs. Mallory's as I blurted, "What?"

She eyed me coolly, sitting back on her chair. At her silence, I quickly scanned the contents of the letter. She was _firing_ me for my lack of interest?

"You can't do that," I said bitingly, "My work is good, Mrs. Mallory. I know it!"

"I never said that."

"Lack of interest? On what grounds do you say that, Mrs. Mallory? I adore my job, and I put every ounce of hard work into it."

"Miss Swan, control yourself," Mallory commanded. Sitting up, she continued.

"Based on my observations, you have not been as hard working as you claim to be. Even since you've come back, you seem lost in our meetings, you're living in another world. Your work has lagged back during your sick leave. In case you have forgotten, Paxiou is a new magazine. I need an extraordinarily efficient staff to make this magazine the success it _will_ become. And you do not meet my expectations, do you understand that?"

"No," I almost cried out.

_This is unfair._

"The sooner you come to terms with it the better it will be for you."

"I went through a hard phase, try and understand. I won't give you room for complaints." I could hear the faint beginnings of pleading in my voice.

"Accept it, _Isabella_." She stretched my name out scornfully.

"I've been given raises during the time I've worked here. Please, Mrs. Mallory."

She didn't give me anything but a pitiful gaze. I tried again.

"I didn't have anything to do with the deal, you've got to believe me."

"I don't entertain lies." Something was perturbed, and I could see a low flame rekindling in her eyes.

"I'm innocent, how can I be involved when I don't even know Edward Cullen. What possible benefit could that hold for me? I am a part of Paxiou, why would I want bad for a place I work in!"

"Oh _please_," Mrs. Mallory said exasperatedly. "Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"But-"

"That's enough!" she bellowed, standing up, her looming frame glaring down at me. Walking to the wall-wide window she stared outside.

"I've spent my entire life working to get this magazine started. I've made sacrifices, done things I would have never. And today," she turned to glare at me. "I won't let you and your petty games get in my way."

"So it's true," I murmured, horror evident in my voice. "You did turn the picture in."

She laughed loudly. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes!" She confessed, another loud laugh ringing in the room. And I was shocked silent. I couldn't believe it.

"I thought we would have succeeded with the money we would make from the picture...but things have turned back on us and now Paxiou is being bad-mouthed; you are poisoning my magazine. The only way to worm our way out of this is to fire you. You need to leave, if Paxiou is to survive."

"Wish I had never listened…" Her voice continued on, but my ears blocked her out.

"Why are you doing this to me? If Paxiou is threatened like you say; it is a result of your actions. Why force them on me?" I lamented.

"That's a rather naïve way to think," Mrs. Mallory commented. "It's obvious you and Mr. Cullen have been plotting together for long, I could see it in your eyes before the party. His response to you and both of your disappearances untangled the riddle for me. Paxiou will rise, and you and Cullen can do nothing to stop it. I will get rid of moles like you, Miss Swan!"

"You're sadly mistaken," I murmured, as my vision blurred anew with unshed tears.

"You may leave now. You are officially dismissed." Mrs. Mallory ended with finality.

And it's like she has stamped her seal on my career. I can't come to terms with the fact that she has fired me. For something that isn't even my fault. Her actions are so cruel and selfish; using others to twist the events in her favor.

"I can take you to court." I threatened.

"Take me to court for what?" She laughed on her words. "Have you forgotten that Paxiou is a private enterprise, I am my own boss. And I choose people I like. You. Are. Not. One. Of. Them. Anymore."

And this was it. I had reached the end of my journey at Paxiou. It was time to say goodbye to my chair.

"Karma will get back at you," I whispered. Saving the last few shreds of dignity, I walked out of the room. My stride was a strong one, one that crumbled as I took my last step out of Paxiou. I broke out into a run as my face caught the first cool winds that blew in wet August.

And I began to run faster than I ever had. It was like those sports days we had in school. The feeling of floating in air…the feeling of freedom. But the euphoria was short-lived. Fleeting faces revealed looks of disgrace. I wanted to scream at all of them that I was innocent, that I have nothing to do with this.

But I couldn't. There were too many of them.

And I still kept running. However, it was now fear of the crowd that powered my foot falls. Rain fell in synchrony with my feet. It was a loud sting to my ears along with the booming thunder that echoed in my chest. I had lost direction…I didn't know where I was going anymore. How this would end or if I would ever be able to end it.

Suddenly, the world seemed too large and I felt too insignificant and weak in it. I was alone. Powerless, left to its vices. Renee's words sounded baseless, they didn't make sense anymore. I had far more than I could handle. I couldn't take it anymore. My resolve has surrendered.

My leg hurt with the strain I was putting on it, but I couldn't stop; I didn't want to. I ran faster still, the faces blurring with the rain that fell. Before I knew, my feet had stopped and I found myself in front of a building. A hotel.

I cocked my head to the side, wondering what had propelled me to the location. My clothes were wet and dripping. Walking forward in the rainy puddles, I saw a soft light flow out of the closed sliding glass doors. Closer inspection revealed a man seated by the lamp on a coffee brown sofa.

My steps were faster now, stopping right in front of the sliding doors. And that is when my heart stopped too.

_The man was Edward_.

He was looking at me with a shocked expression, his eyes bewildered as they roamed over me. He stood up instantly, as recognition dawned on his face.

The short distance between us didn't mask the monumental difference between our worlds. His world, a flurry of glamour and candle lights and my world, dark, somber and drenching in rain. Fates separated by a single glass pane.

Until the glass suddenly wasn't there anymore; the doors had slid open. And I knew I wouldn't get the chance to grasp this opportunity again. I had to utilize it now.

My feet were set into motion, and I was vaguely aware that Edward had begun walking towards me. My whole body flashed with energy, my heart beat so strongly that I could feel the thumping in my fingertips. My wet hair flared in the wind as I headed towards him swiftly.

Edward seemed worried, his pace quickening towards me.

Faster than I could understand, I ran to the only person capable of solving my problem. And before I knew, I had collided with him, my impact so strong that his body staggered with mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, reveling in the human touch I had denied myself for so long. I inhaled his warm scent, enjoying the return of the liberating feeling. My embrace was healing, comforting, and I felt protected. It was safe. It was far from the watchful eyes of the world.

Between my choking gasps, I breathed, "Yes." Closing my eyes, I felt the material of his coat bunch under my fingers as I held him to me, my last words having the potential to change our destiny.

"Yes…" I took a deep breath, my eyes still closed. "I'll marry you."

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**A/N**: **Hmmm…finally. ****What will be Edward's reaction to Bella's termination? And how are they going to break it to the media that they are getting married?**

**I know Bella seems weak right now, she just needs time to grow stronger. We've had quite a bit of angst. From now on, things will really start looking up.**

**Thoughts, comments? Please review to let me know your thoughts.  
**

**The teasers will be posted on the thread as soon as I'm done the next chapter.**

**Till then, take care.**


	13. Chapter 13 – Declaration of Fate

**Hello!**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews and support. Hope you all had an enjoyable summer. Thank you to my betas, Nijiska and OTD673, for their time and effort. **

**And to all of you, if you're still reading!

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**Chapter 13 – Declaration of Fate**

I savored the warmth of the heavy mug in my hands. The sweet fragrance of green tea was a welcome distraction from the man that stood at the other side of the room. I kept my eyes focused on the contents of the cup, praying to the forces of heaven to make me disappear.

_Seriously…what was I thinking?_

Unfortunately, luck was not on my side, and the room remained quiet. Edward was definitely not planning on breaking the silence. Well, neither was I.

I still couldn't understand what in the world it was that propelled me to Edward. After I had hurdled myself into his arms, it had taken me a few moments of holding him to realize his hesitance. His arms were reassuring but felt… distant. That was all it took for my insecurity to bounce back, and I quickly withdrew myself from him. As my actions came into clearer focus, I realized that I had made a complete fool of myself. I should have been more careful considering the news about us. However, that moment had made me careless.

I had lost reason when I saw him standing there. And I desperately sought the refuge he provided. He was the light, and I had done what I could to capture it.

Edward, being a gentleman, had ushered me into the lift. Wordlessly, he had led the way to his apartment.

I drew in a loud breath, as if to urge him to speak, but he stubbornly remained silent. Squaring my shoulders, I looked up to see his bright gaze focused on me.

We really weren't going to get anywhere if neither of us would make a move.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, quickly looking down as my voice cracked.

He gave me nothing in response.

"Look… I don't know what to say. Clearly, I was out of my mind." My eyes flickered to Edward's face just in time to catch the flash in his eyes.

"I'll go now," I claimed weakly, picking up my bag to make a move.

"You're not going anywhere." Edward said frostily, standing up and clenching his fists to his sides.

Terror crawled up my spine as panic echoed in my ears. My blood ran cold as I realized I was in Edward's hotel room. Alone.

At my horrified expression, Edward anger diffused instantly and he held his hands up, shaking his head frantically.

"Sorry, sorry. That's not what I meant to say." Holding a fist to his head, he quietly muttered, "Why can't I get this right?"

Waiting on bated breath, I inched closer to the door, unable to stop myself from giving in to instinct. Edward caught my movement.

"Bella, we can talk outside if you're not comfortable being alone with me," Edward said with a sad, knowing look.

I licked my lips nervously, shaking my head. "It's not that," I mumbled, clearly knowing how unconvincing I sounded.

"You don't have to explain yourself. You don't owe me anything."

"But you still do?" I questioned, for the first time establishing eye contact with him. He held my gaze, sighing tiredly when he realized I wasn't going to back down.

"What happened today, Bella?"

"What makes you think something happened?" My voice was a soft, hesitant whisper.

"Why did you come here?" Edward continued, undeterred by my hidden protest.

Scenes I was trying so desperately repress danced in my mind. The horrid flashes of Paxiou's elegant pillars, the determination in Mrs. Mallory's voice…the vulnerability in mine; that terrible feeling of being accused, being guilty for something I hadn't even done. Curling my arms around my body, I shook my head, holding onto myself.

"It's personal, Edward."

"You can tell me," Edward stated softly. I opened my eyes to find them staring right into his soul-deep eyes. I hadn't realized he had moved closer.

"You can trust me."

He rubbed my arm lightly, and I cringed away from him as the word "trust" brought the recent, bitter memories to mind. Jasper was the person I had_ trusted_ the most. How could my own friend turn himself on me in one night?

"I'm just beginning to see how deceptive that word is." I said acidly.

The burning feel of Jasper's betrayal spiked my anger, but no matter what I said, the anger made me feel hollow inside. Not powerful and strong, as I would have hoped. The truth was that I missed Jazz….like _really_ missed him. I wanted to go back and shake some sense into him, of course, after delivering two swift punches to his stomach.

But… it was too late now.

He had back-stabbed me when I wasn't looking. He had failed me, failed my trust. _Why Jazz?_

I bit my lip so hard, I could almost taste the iron.

"Come," Edward said, taking my hand. "We're going out."

~x~x~x~x~

"Were you serious?"

Edward's voice broke through the hypnotizing purr of his Volvo. I twisted my body to face him, watching the shadows of the sky-high towers crossing his face. I wasn't surprised to see his gaze focused forward.

"About what?" I asked absently, my eyes trained on his tense jaw.

"About you accepting my offer." The car stopped on the red traffic light. Edward looked at me with his imploring bright green gaze, the pelting rain droning on in the background

My face flushed as I remembered my hasty acceptance of his proposition. Looking down, I picked on my skirt.

"I-" I searched for words to justify myself, to right this completely wrong situation. Yet there was nothing to say. Nothing had changed. A fact that hurt like a punch to the stomach. I still needed his help. Desperately.

"Yes," I murmured. Shame pulsed hotly through my system as I considered to my great mortification that I had accepted his indecent proposal.

"It's just for a while, Bella. Things will calm down…you'll be free of these problems soon." Edward reached across the console resting his warm hand on my hand, withdrawing it so fast that I hadn't even had the chance to register the sensation.

_A while_. That's all this was to Edward. Funny how the same thing can mean such different things to two people. I thought of the same _while_ as two years of my life I was giving in to a relationship that was destined to end. _Just like a contract._

Perhaps that was what our marriage would mean to him. A spring coiled in my stomach as I tested the words again, _our marriage._

"Where are we going?" I asked distractedly, stroking the leather of the car seat with my fingertips.

"Lunch."

I shot him an incredulous look. This was no time for leisurely lunches. I thought we had to act fast and all.

"Now? But… I'm not even hungry." I muttered, which was not so surprising after the day I'd been having.

Edward lips quirked up in a quiet smile. I was tempted to ask him what was so amusing, but I decided to remain silent. Settling back, I watched the buildings fly past in the rain-dotted windows. No sooner, Edward announced our arrival.

"Look, we're here already," he stated.

_La Pasta. _My mouth dropped open. _Why the hell were we coming to such a hot-shot restaurant?_

Edward opened my door, closing it behind me as I stepped out.

"I don't think this is such a good idea," I whispered, panicked, quickly turning back to get into the safe car.

Edward stopped me with a hand on my arm. Pulling me back to him, he met my wide, freaked out eyes. "Trust me?"

I nodded mutely, shooting an apprehensive gaze to the restaurant over his shoulder. Carefully, watching my reaction he snaked his arm around my back. Nudging me forward, he bent to whisper in my ear.

"Just hang on to me then," he murmured cautiously, though his conspiratorial smile carefully concealed his tone. Clearly not taking no for an answer, he pulled me forward with him.

Taking a deep breath, I matched his steps as we made our way into the ridiculously expensive restaurant. A deep burgundy carpet graced the entrance with a sweet violin melody bouncing off the walls of the dimly lit interior.

All eyes were on us as we took our first step inside. My feet came to an unsteady halt as I cowered away from all the instant attention. _This was such a bad idea. _

Edward's hold on my waist tightened as I made a move to turn back. _Why is he doing this to me?_

A maitre'd came up to us and Edward requested for a table in the corner. As we were led to the corner of the restaurant, I felt my plams get clammy as my heart raced.

"You need to calm down, Bella. Just relax." Edward said, his voice sounding like an order.

Sitting on the chair he held out for me, I sent him a worried look. "I don't understand why we had to come here."

Edward leaned forward, intertwining his fingers on the table. The sole candle on the table flickered between his eyes. "You'll see why."

Before I could respond, he filled my glass with water. "Drink."

Swallowing the thirst down, I looked up at him in question. "Why, Edward?" I asked, my frustration over his silence clearly evident in my voice.

He leaned back easily on his chair, resting his elbows on the side of the chair, observing me with his wise eyes. "You've asked enough questions, now it's my turn. What happened today, Bella?" His tone was chilling, leaving no room for excuses.

I looked down at my half-filled glass, twisting the stem between my fingers.

"I won't ask you again, Bella. If you want us to do this, you have to give me answers. This is the only way the arrangement will work. If you aren't willing, tell me now. You're wasting time."

_Why did he have to be so direct and straight to the point? _I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, finding the words to express my situation, but the embarrassment made the words clog in my throat every time I tried.

Unwillingly, I felt my eyes fill with tears. Instinctively, my fingers went to my eyes, pressing them in to hold my weakness in.

"I got fired," I finally whispered, my voice hoarse due to the tears cloaked within. Too ashamed to look at him, I wiped my eyes quickly and stared at his hand wrapped around the glass. His fingers twitched, and slowly I watched as they closed into a fist. I never expected what happened next.

The glass cracked, the shards raining down onto the white table cloth in an explosion of sorts.

The water spilled in thin rivers along his fingers, the clear fluid taking on red swirls as it passed along his knuckles. Before I could make any sense of the situation, blood was freely trickling down his wrist.

Edward's expression was deathly. His eyes grew darker in the burning light of the candle, the fire kicking into a dangerous dance in the green orbs. A shadow worked its way on his face, making him look frighteningly dangerous, almost…formidable.

"Oh my God, you're hurt!" I leapt up from my seat in alarm, knocking off my half-filled glass in the process.

Paying no heed to the mess I had caused, I hurried over to Edward's side. Taking the clean napkin on the table, I made a move to grab his hand but was cut short by his forceful, painful crushing of what remained of the glass. I gasped as I saw the sharp knife edges of the glass bite deeper into his skin.

"Stop, Edward!" I exclaimed, pushing the broken glass away from his hand. Horrified, I stared at him with confusion.

"Have you lost your mind?" I scolded, taking his bloody hand in mine and removing the scattered glass pieces that hovered over his skin. Carefully, I wrapped the napkin around it, drawing on my skills from the first aid course I had taken. My hands stopped short as he turned his gaze on me, burning with the wild intensity in his dark, unfathomable eyes.

"Leave it." he commanded.

"But, you're hurt," I protested in vain, my face going hot as I quickly moved my hands away in embarrassment.

"I don't need you to look after me," he stated in a patronizing tone.

And he had made the differences between us so clear again. I knew he hadn't meant to, this was just a light matter, but I couldn't help but see the deeper significance to his words. He didn't need me. I had nothing of use to him….but why was he so adamant on helping me, then? What was he hiding?

_What was best left unsaid?_

My thoughts were interrupted by Edward's immediate exit from the table, looking as graceful in his fury as a cheetah set loose. Fast, angry…powerful…commanding…avenging.

_Beautiful._

I grasped my temples as my thoughts and conflicting feelings whirled in a confusing mix, all because of Edward. Was I doing the right thing by stepping into a marriage without knowing all the facts? What impact would such an arrangement have for me...for my future?

A tap on my shoulder made me turn my focus to a small child holding a tray out to me. The boy was formally dressed, a cute red bow hung carelessly from his collar. His hair was tousled into a messy yet adorable twist. Innocent brown eyes peered up at me curiously.I vaguely wondered why such a young child was working.

He nervously pulled on his collar with a tiny finger as I appraised him. His clumsy jiggling of the tray made me smile unexpectedly. The boy leaned forward, apparently interested in my smile. His face broke into an answering grin, and I smiled wryly at his charming child-like antics.

"What's your name?" I asked, amused, ruffling his hair.

He shook his head, proudly tapping on his name tag. I looked down to it. _Jimmy Martin._

Jimmy spared a look behind in his shoulder, gulping when he caught the eye of a staff member. He made a slashing motion across his throat, and he held up the tray again urging me with his eyes. I tilted my head, confused. I took my fallen glass and placed it on his tray.

He thwacked a palm to his forehead in an over-dramatic matter.

"What?" I asked, confused. _Why doesn't the kid say something? _Setting my glass on the table, he picked up a paper on the tray, handing it to me before rushing away. _That's strange._

I quickly unfolded the note, surprised to find it was from Edward.

_Meet me out on the main street in 10 min. Walk to the car. I have parked it further down the road. 10 minutes exactly. No sooner. No later._

_Edward_

Annoyance buzzed actively in my ears as I huffed angrily. I was so fed up of him and all his cryptic behavior, couldn't he just tell me before leaving? Why did he have a message delivered when he could have simply called for me? Pissed, I kicked the leg of his chair, scrunching my nose up as pain shot up my leg. A little giggle caught my attention.

I turned to find Jimmy watching the show with great amusement. I shrugged helplessly, before slumping back in my chair and sending him a resigned smile as he picked up the glasses off a neighboring table.

After the longest ten minutes, I carefully collected my things, making my way to the entrance of the restaurant. My hand paused on the door handle as I felt a tug on my pant leg. I looked down to see little Jimmy smiling at me with the most endearing expression ever.

I bent down on his level, "You," I said, pressing a finger on the tip of his nose, "are making me late." He responded with a high-pitched squeal that made me grin. With a lopsided smile, he pulled a rose from behind him.

It was red. The color blinded my vision, taking me back to the night when Jazz and Alice had bought roses. I closed my eyes. _Not now, Bella. Go to Edward._

Opening my eyes, I managed a weak smile. Little Jimmy pressed his small palm to my cheek with a serious expression on his face. Putting the rose in my open hand, he closed my fingers around it. Removing his palm, he placed his lips on my cheek.

"Thank you, Mr. Martin." I smiled gratefully. He grinned, bowing down gracefully before turning on his heel and returning to the restaurant with a sashaying movement. I laughed to myself, shaking my head. _Kids these days…_

With a slightly elevated mood, I set out to the walk down the road, taking a breather from the emotional roller coaster today had been. My thoughts immediately went to thoughts of one person. _Edward_. Soon my thoughts shifted to concern, _did he get sick? _His hand had looked terrible; _did he lose too much blood? _My steps rushed down faster, quickening to an almost running pace. Until…

…I felt hands on my hips.

I jumped up in shock, my footsteps halting as my mouth opened to scream. Only nothing came out.

"Relax, it's just me." Edward reassured, his fingers rubbing slowly up and down, round and round in soothing circles.

"I know you're surprised. Just…keep going." He pushed me forward, but my feet wouldn't budge.

"Bella, this is serious." He paused, his mouth coming dangerously close to my ear…so much so that I could feel his breath. He came closer still and a casual bystander would have seen this as nuzzling. _Maybe that was what it was_, I thought as he inhaled deeply.

"Keep walking," he uttered softly, my hair fluttering with his breath. "And whatever you do…don't look to your right." He pressed his hands deeper to emphasize his point, disregarding his injury completely.

"W-Why?" I stuttered, breathless and scared.

"Media is following us. They're here."

My heart slammed in my chest as soon as his words registered in my head.

"No," I wheezed, shaking my head minutely.

"I'm sorry." Edward apologized. "We have to confront them now."

"No," I breathed, even I could hear the disbelief in my voice, "Why would you put us in a situation like this?" It hurt me to ask the question as I held my body stiffly. After everything that had happened, the first person I looked to for help…and this was what I got?

"I had to…we had to act today before the news about you could come out. That would destroy everything." His hands moved to interlock at my front, as he buried his face in my hair. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I didn't have time, Bella. Media is rapid fire, I had to act before Lauren had you. This was the only way. I just had to do something…given the media was following us, this was our best chance. It was now or never. Just…just play along."

_Play along, Bella. Just play along. The decision of the present is in your hands._

I smiled. This was not who I was. But maybe, that didn't matter anymore. I slid my hands along his forearms, resting them on top of his hands on my stomach. One of my hands still clutched Jimmy's rose. Edward turned his uninjured hand over, intertwining our fingers in a tight lock.

Spinning me around, he wrapped me into an unrestraining embrace as his head found his way to my neck. "Sorry," he whispered. "If it gets too much, let me know."

I wanted to scream at him, _Yes! It is far too much_. Yet, my lips remained glued. I knew it wouldn't help my case at all. After all, if we had to win, I would have to act. I tucked the single rose in his jacket's pocket, smoothing it along his hard chest. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around his torso feeling extremely uncomfortable at this intimate public display which would be hitting the TV very soon.

Jasper would see this. _Charlie would see this._

I squeezed my eyes shut. The snap of cameras caused my eyes to reopen.

"Mr Cullen! Miss Swan!" They shouted on and on, and I dug my face deeper and deeper into Edward's shoulder as I felt more and more suffocated. Edward turned me, setting a comforting arm around my shoulder to keep me close.

"What?" Edward all but spat at the reporters, stating my exact feelings.

The reporters were loud.

"Is the 'The Insider' saying the truth?"

One reporter was particularly rude, his snide tone angering me.

"What is the true story behind the deal…is Miss Swan related to the contract being called off…are you the one plotting all this? The insider, is that what you call yourself, Mr. Cullen?"

"Mr. Cullen, why aren't you answering our questions?" Another shouted.

Their persistent questioning ignited Edward's anger and suddenly his frustration could take no more, and he just…lost it.

"Haven't you already had enough? What is it…you're not getting enough of the gossip, are you? He hauled the words at them like a pair of expletives.

"I am shocked at how well you all twist your stories, how well you disrupt the peace in our lives, how perfectly you portray us without even listening to our share of the story. Must I beg you to leave us alone? Or is there a remaining part of us that needs more spicing up?"

An unexpected silence dawned in the small circle around us. The media people seemed visibly taken aback. This wasn't the response they were expecting. Neither was I.

"Now, before you ask me your degrading questions, let me make one thing very clear. We do not enjoy being the centre of false talk. Don't use us without reason-"

"What is your relationship with Miss Swan?" A reporter shouted. _Let the games begin._

"What is or is not my relationship with her is none of your concern. This is our private life, let it remain so." It seemed as though Edward was ending the discussion, but I knew better. He was hedging them on, urging them to make a leap in understanding. Beckoning them to probe further by igniting that thirst for more.

"If you're all straight, then why don't you tell us. Speak up, Mr. Cullen. We have been waiting to hear your side forever." A female reporter challenged.

"Fine." Edward agreed, having all of them exactly where he wanted. The crowd leaned forward in anticipation for the revelation. "Bella had nothing to do with the contract. It was me that decided against it." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Bella is my fiancé. We are getting married in two weeks." he declared. Collective gasps of surprise echoed off the crowd.

"Oh yeah?" The female reporter said snarkily after a moment, clearly not believing him. "So where's her ring?"

She had us there. I panicked, my hands trembled as I stealthily tucked them behind my back, happy that no one seemed to catch me.

That's when I felt it.

Edward's warm fingers uncurled my fist. His fingers moved along mine, but they brought more than his steady warmth. They brought a stark contrast. Warm and cool. Skin and metal.

"I hardly think that this is your concern."

The lady rolled her eyes at Edward. "If there's nothing to hide, why don't you show us the ring?"

Edward eyes tightened around the corners and his fingers completed their path up to my knuckles. I closed my eyes as I absorbed the overwhelming feeling of what was happening.

The woman laughed mockingly. "What's wrong? Caught red-handed now that you don't have a ring? The game is over, Mr. Cullen. You are exposed." She crossed her arms across her chest pompously with a challenging sneer on her face.

"Never be too sure," was all the warning Edward gave before slinging my hand out from behind.

And it was out there for the world to see. I was officially engaged to Edward Cullen.

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**A/N: What's Lauren going to do now? Stay tuned as Bella takes up her role as Edward's fiancé and comes to terms with this decision.**

**Next chapter is an EPOV!  
**

**Oh, and please press **_**review**_** to let me know your thoughts **


	14. Chapter 14 – Falling EPOV

**Hello!**

**Hope you are all doing fantastic. Thank you for your kind reviews and alerts. Thank you to my betas, Nijiska and OTD673, for their prompt help. **

**So…most of you complain about Edward and his behavior. Here's an EPOV for you to understand him better. I hope you do. I'm not giving answers, just insight.**

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**Chapter 14 – Falling (EPOV)**

I glared coldy at the reporter; she was really beginning to get on my nerves. If I had one hour alone with her, she wouldn't hold her job by the next day. One phone call and she would be history.

I heard Bella suck in a sharp breath. I kept my gaze forward, a mocking smile threatening to take over my face. Yes, Bella, I am impulsive.

When had I not been? This was what I was made for, taking risks, playing bargains like cards in a casino, convincing dealers to bet in my favor.

It had all started as a brief thrill, one that did not take long to turn into a deadly cycle, one risk after the other. I had been labeled a daredevil, an adrenaline junkie. I craved it, even so many years later. Coasting in those freezing mountains of ice, jumping into the wide expanse of the blue sky, scuba diving in the deep oceans. Each risk had pushed me to a higher level, a greater jump, a deeper dive until I was battling with my boundaries. It hadn't taken long for all of it to come down crashing on me. At the young age of 19, a rash racing decision at a biking spree had resulted in a crushing shoulder injury. The effects screamed in my bones everyday, reminding me, taunting me.

The next few years had helped to cool me down; calm precision took the place of my immature recklessness. Franco's desperate pleas had altered my life's direction in ways I had never anticipated. A short degree had helped me fit into the company, and soon I took over the CEO position at Masen & Cullen Corporation. What my body couldn't achieve, my mind achieved. And I became an entrepreneur, investing in a wild, risky flurry.

Success was at my feet. But … strangely, it was never enough, a potent mixture that was beginning to lose its potency. At times, I didn't know what my purpose in life was anymore. What it meant for me to prosper, what I wanted. I had reached the point where money just didn't do it for me anymore.

I didn't know where things went wrong with the Mallorys. When they changed the way they did, but the one thing I did know was that Isabella Swan was an unwelcome part of my life.

Another risk. Those were the two words she came down to.

She was wrong for me in every way I could think of. The decision was so immature…so …it was so me. My cynical mind only saw the faults of such an arrangement, but for the life of me I couldn't remember a time in my life when things weren't black and white anymore, because Bella started where gray did. Nothing was right, nothing was wrong. I was stuck in the place between the two.

Endless struggles in my mind brought no useful solution. Those quiet hours in my dark room were meant for self-reflection, but all I saw were her huge brown eyes. Filled with those big tears. Sad, sad, brown oceans with so much pain, I had to hold my hand from thrashing my fist into the white walls of my hotel room.

I felt Bella shudder at my side, and my conscience bristled at my impulsiveness. I did not enjoy putting her in a situation like this. I knew she was nowhere near ready to take this right now, but Bella couldn't see how deep Lauren's mind ran. Bella, in her current state of mind was vulnerable, and if I knew Lauren Mallory at all, she was going to do what she could to bank on that.

Acting late would have tarnished Bella's image forever. She could hate me now, but I had to do this. She wanted this. She had said as much. And if this was to work, Lauren's plans were going to hell.

She had begun this game. I would end it. And she was going to go down. Hard.

Fully aware that Bella was shocked, I warily turned to her. Her wide eyes were pinned to the ring on her finger. Moving slowly, so that I wouldn't shock her, I returned her hand to her side. The movement snapped her out of her daze, and she stared up with those deep, warm brown eyes, her cherub lips parting slightly. Shock clearly written all over her face.

She was going to blow our cover if she was going to continue act like this. I gave her a cold, meaningful look. She moved away slightly, her pale cheeks burning red. Damn, the girl was too transparent.

Turning towards the reporter, I gave her a smug smile, "If you'll excuse us, we have urgent affairs to attend to."

Her gaping mouth slammed shut as she failed to come up with a sensible comeback. My injured hand quickly found Bella's, and I bit back the wince as she squeezed my hand. I shoved past the reporter, purposely knocking my shoulder against her, keeping Bella close, so that nobody would notice my wounded hand. Another one of my impulsive actions, a much needed physcial outlet. Long lived habits die hard, I thought with an ironic smile.

Bella was quiet behind me. Her slow, sagging steps made us move at a sluggish pace. With less patience and a throbbing pain pulsing through my hand, I turned back to her, hissing, "Hurry up!"

Her head shot up straight, and she looked at me, panicked. I softened my face, she had too much on her as it was. The last thing she needed was me making things harder than they already were.

"We need to hurry up, Bella. I don't want them to come after us." I explained, resisting the urge to yank her.

Nodding frantically, she hurried to my side, slightly breathless from the short walk. I ushered her into the car before taking my place beside her. Bella stared down at her lap, tilting her hand side to side, testing the glow of her diamond, one I had picked from the store at the restaurant's back side. God bless Tiffany's.

I turned to Bella to apologize, hesitance making my resolve waver; apologizing was not something I liked doing. I had never needed to answer for myself. But what happened today was abrupt, too fast. Waiting for her to look up at me, I noticed her whispering words. Straining to hear what I could, I heard the words.

"I'm engaged."

She repeated it again and again. She didn't even seem to be aware of it. She just kept saying it, chanting it like she couldn't believe. On some level, I began to feel uneasy. I didn't want her to read deeply into this. I knew Bella was emotional, soft…vulnerable. And I was most definitely not the right guy for her. Emotions were not a part of my life. They were impractical, a nuisance that impaired judgment, which had done so much damage to people I had known. They made a person weak, and the last thing I needed was to be a miserable mess. I preferred my solitude just fine. Bella wasn't going to change that.

I had to set some rules before we did this. Order. Yes, that's what we needed.

I started the car wordlessly, speeding down the road that led to her house.

~x~x~x~x~

"Bella." I started, trying to get her attention, but she gave me no response. Her eyes were focused into the distance as she stared unseeing into the dark night, her face paler than I had ever seen.

I touched her shoulder lightly so as to not startle her. Regardless, her body jerked up suddenly, responding to my unexpected touch. Her flinch made me pull my hand back. Keep your damn hands to yourself, Cullen.

Bella rubbed her face, exhaling a heavy sigh before turning to me. "Would you like to come in?"

The rational part of my mind told me to give her some space, to back off before I could see that fear in her eyes again; that same fear that had been directed towards me. She had been scared of me in the hotel. I swallowed the bile down my throat, and tried to repress the unpleasent memories that hovered in my mind.

There was no going back right now, the bases had to be set.

"Sure." I said, keeping my voice passive.

Outside Bella's apartment door, I waited to the side as she fiddled with her keys, dropping them in her muddled clumsiness. It should have been frustrating… she was seriously wasting my time, but oddly it was not, especially when she flushed a flaming red as she bent down, dropping her purse in the process. I got the distinct feeling that she had never brought a guy home. Interesting.

She ushered me in, and once inside I absorbed the sight in front of me. Her kitchen was attached to the living room. Small, comfortable and clean was the best I could describe it. The furnishings were sparse, nothing extraordinary or flagrant. Just the essentials put together in a compact package.

"Have a seat." Bella spoke from behind me.

Once we both were seated and I had declined her offer for coffee, I decided I had to broach the topic.

"We need to talk about how we are going to do this."

She nervously glanced away, looking anywhere but at me. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Bella, we agreed to this…arrangement. Next time something happens I need to know." I gave her a meaningful look before continuing, "You need to understand that. If we had wasted time today, our plan would have gone down the drain."

She mumbled something. "Pardon?" I asked impatiently. She seriously needed to start speaking up.

"It was your plan. Not mine." She stated quietly in a strong voice.

Her rebuttal sparked anger in me. I didn't care if all this was foolish, and maybe I was a little selfish, but I expected her to at least be thankful that I had saved us both from being exposed.

"Oh really," I said, leaning back on her sofa, challenging her, "So what did you expect us to do, Bella?" I asked, raising my eyebrows expectantly. Her eyes flitted to the floor before meeting mine.

Before she could start, I interrupted, "Or did you want to go and spill your guts?"

I knew now was the time when I should have reined my anger in, calmed down before things got out of hand. However, once I had started talking, the words were freely flowing from my mouth.

"The way you acted in front of them today was so foolish. What were you trying to do? They were supposed to be surprised, not you!" I glowered at her.

"The worst thing is that you will be on the footage video …that is, if they made one, and if they get a handle on your flabbergasted expression, the whole damn world is going to know." Her face started turning red as she looked down ashamed. I noticed her clamping her hands tightly on her arms; looking impossibly smaller but not even her appearance couldn't deter me.

"What was so surprising about it, Bella? You agreed, I agreed. Why were you so shocked? I just declared what we both mutually decided on," I said venomously while my mind just chanted, _Shut up, Edward._

"This has to stop now, if you want to go with the marriage, this is the place where all this nonsense is just going to be put to an end. There is more on line than the deal here, there's me, there's you, dammit!" My head began to hurt from the consistent tugging on my hair.

"I'm so sorry," she said from behind the fingers covering her face, and I could hear the anguish and tears in her voice and it made me feel like the worst man on Earth.

I groaned, putting my face in my hands as I realized I had forced all my frustration out on her. "Look, I'm sorry." I blew out an angry breath. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I shouldn't have said it like that." The stress was getting to my head, staying away from New York was creating difficulties, I needed to get back soon, there were meetings on the line.

"S'okay." She tried to sound normal, but her voice gave her away. Rising from the sofa, I knelt beside her, taking her hands in mine. Her face was red, her nose a glowing pink.

"No, it's not okay." I said firmly, feeling ever bit sore for the way I had treated her. What sort of man acted like that? I noticed that she wouldn't look at me.

"Bella, look at me," I urged. She shook her head. "I told you, its okay, Edward." Her voice rising, tipping towards hysterical. A tear dropped from her eye trickling down her cheek, followed by another one. And then there were so many of them. She pulled on her hands to wipe them but I held them steady.

"Talk to me," I whispered. Come on, Bella. Speak…

She remained silent except for the quiet sobs. I had an overwhelming urge to just hug her, to tell her everything was just going to be okay. But, I couldn't. She wouldn't take it. She would push me away.

She would be afraid of me.

That thought made me draw my hands back. Frustrated, I ran my hands through my hair. What should one do to stop making a woman cry? Oh hell, it was the whole emotional crap again. This was seriously getting to my head.

I had known only a handful of women in my life. The intimate partners being too few and scattered amongst the years, but I had never found myself in such a difficult situation before. The thought did little to pacify me, watching Bella cry was really unsettling…almost upsetting.

"Do you want to hit me?" I asked right out. Seriously, if she could just stop crying.

That seemed to catch her attention, and she looked up abruptly, her rimmed eyes holding surprise. "Why would I want to do that?" She whispered.

All the guilt seemed to catch up. "Because you're in this situation because of me," I admitted, and I felt like such a lost cause. I was honestly only trying to help. Who had known that I'd end up hurting her more?

"That's not true," she said, shaking her head. "You helped me."

"Right," I drawled sarcastically, "and apparently that's how you ended up this way."

She looked down again. Her habit was really beginning to get to me, why wouldn't she look at me?

I felt a tinge of regret as I realized exactly why. The bastards had gotten away, they hadn't even left traces. Nothing.

If I ever found them… I closed my eyes, as a wave of anger crashed on me, my fist curling in the fury I felt. And it hurt. It hurt so badly, and it wasn't just the physical pain anymore. It wasn't the blood running down my fingers. It was the pain deep, deep inside. It burned, making me aware of its presence day in day out.

Opening my eyes, I looked down to see what I had felt. The wound was bleeding again and the poor excuse of a bandage was coming free.

"Edward," Bella called, looking at my hand with panic. "Washroom, come on," she said, waving her hand, rushing me to the small room on the side.

Putting her hand on mine, she pulled it down into the sink, applying pressure to control the bleeding. I looked down, not feeling the pain but entranced by the way her soft fingers pressed in gently.

"Am I hurting you?" She looked up at me, with her innocent, worried eyes. I just stared into them wordlessly, spellbound by this young woman who had undergone so much. Yes, I wanted to say, it hurts on the inside, feeling the way I feel for you. It's like my mind pulls me in one direction and my heart in the other, the two are tearing me inside. A violent storm is churning in me; I don't know what to do anymore, Bella. I'm falling. Falling so deep.

What's worse is that I don't want to.

"Edward?" She asked, her eyes flying over my face as she tried to call me out of my trance.

"You are such a strong woman." I stated, because she had to know that. Her eyes clouded in denial, quiet rebuttal as she turned away, continuing to clean the wound. "I mean it." I said again, because I wanted her to believe me. Just this once.

Her face took on a sad smile as she worked on my wound, her eyes betraying her sadness. "I'm anything but strong." She said shaking her head, her voice a quiet murmur.

"There we go, the wound is dressed and cleaned," she claimed triumphantly, and I looked down to see the clean bandage. Thank the heavens.

My phone began ringing and, distracted, I pulled it out to check the caller. Franco. Damn.

I glanced at Bella, a curious expression on her face as she stared at my cell. "Excuse me, I need to take this call," I started apprehensively. She looked at me, blinking before nodding and brushing past me out of the washroom.

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the whip lashing I was about to receive. But I knew the effort was doomed, pressing the answer button, I held the phone to my ear.

"Edward." His voice, thick with discipline and heavy with his Japanese accent spoke on the other side of the line.

Then there was silence. He seemed to be listening to what I didn't say…what I wouldn't say.

"Franco," I returned the greeting.

Franco was the one man I had learned everything from. It was hard to trace when he came in my life, but as far as my memory served he had always been there. He was everything to me. More than any blood relationship could mean. Franco had raised me, and my whole life had been spent under his supervision. He had set the rules, being my guardian, my friend, and more than any parent could ever mean. He also happened to be my martial arts instructor when I was a child. I smiled fondly, recalling his strict teaching regime.

Franco now worked for me as my right hand man. That did little to change his role; he always looked out for me, called me out on my mistakes even though it wasn't his place anymore. I didn't mind it; in fact I liked the way he picked on me. It reminded me that I had someone to call my own.

Which brought us to the situation now, I hadn't said a word of truth to anyone but Franco. But even he didn't know the proposition I had made.

I didn't tell him. I couldn't. I knew he would have refused. And I wasn't going to stop on this one, Bella needed me.

The silence on the other side of the line was deafening. I was tempted to check to see if he was still on the phone. But I knew he was. He was still assessing the fight in me.

"What have you done, Edward?" It was not a question, it was a statement.

"I did what I thought was right." I spoke with conviction; trying to keep my voice steady, remembering what Franco had said. A man is one who is firm and stern in his words.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" I detected a soft edge in his voice.

"It wasn't your decision to make."

"I look out for you, Edward. You know I think of you as my son."

"It doesn't change the fact that you would have said no."

"Fair enough. Does she know, Edward?" He asked the question I had been dreading. And I hated him in that moment because I would only give him the right to ask a question like that.

When I didn't respond, he persisted, "Answer me, Edward. Does she?"

"No," I forced out harshly, "and it's none of her business."

"Tell yourself that. You're wrong, Edward. You know it." There was nothing smug about his tone, but the wisdom laced in his voice infuriated me.

"Knock it off," I uttered bitterly, "Don't you dare guilt me, Franco!"

"A marriage entails more than what you envision. Her secrets are yours, it's only fair for your secrets to be hers." He paused, and I had the urge to smash the cell into the mirror opposite me. "Don't keep her in the dark. I know how you came up with this scenario; I see how your mind works. You don't even know her, Edward." His voice held worry.

"I know her enough," I spat.

"Fine, Edward. Who am I to say?" He had always used that line on me and I raged at his uncanny ability to reach into my mind and catch on to my insecurity.

"I can't believe you fucking used that line on me again!" I exclaimed, glaring at my reflection in the mirror.

"Language, young man. I taught you better manners than that," he laughed, his tone lighter. And unexpectedly, his warm laugh soothed my buzzing mind.

"Yes, Ma." I murmured dryly even though my mouth unwillingly turned up at the corners.

"When are you coming back?"

"Two weeks. I could try to drop by earlier." I thought about leaving Bella alone, but my instincts shoved me against the idea. "Or not," I amended quickly.

"Edward, we don't have that much time, you know we have that major consignment due with the Huntingtons, we need you here. I can handle things only to an extent, certain decisions need to be made and we need authority. Come back, Edward. They want you, not me. We don't want you coming off as having a flippant attitude; our reputation is on the line here. You know how important this consignment is right?"

"I know, I know. And what about…" We continued our discussion of the business matters.

When I returned to the living room, Bella was nowhere in sight. I looked around and found her staring through the peephole of the apartment's door, palms flat against the door.

"Bella…" I said, and I watched as she slowly turned towards me, eyes wide, her face a picture of fear.

Her expression stopped me in my tracks. I took a few careful steps towards her, entering the realm of uncertainty. "What is it, Bella?" I asked, but I couldn't quell the feeling that something was desperately wrong.

She turned her back on the door, staring at me straight in the eyes, her eyes getting more alarmed by the second.

"Who is it, Bella?" I said in a low-voice, and she let the door slide open slowly.

I found myself staring into the angriest hazel eyes I had ever seen.

Jasper Hale was here to see me.

His angry steps carried him forward until we were nose to nose. His lips tightened, a cord straining under the skin of his neck. No words were exchanged as we stared each other down in unmasked animosity. I hadn't and would never forgive him for the way he had behaved at the hospital, the way he had insulted Alice.

"Go inside, Bella," I said, not taking my eyes off Jasper. She didn't need to see this.

"But-" She began to protest but Jasper cut her off, "Inside, Bella," he commanded.

"Come on Edward, Jasper. Stop this…please." She whispered.

We both turned, uttering a "go" in unison. She gave us a last pleading look before heading inside.

"I didn't expect you would fall so low," he said, his voice too low to be heard by Bella.

"I think you should learn to start respecting your friend's wishes," I murmured a bit too provocatively.

"How dare you -" he paused, his eyes flaring as he curled his fists, "I would tell you exactly how much I respect my friend's wishes if she weren't here. I want nothing more to hang you from the wall for manipulating her the way you did."

"I didn't manipulate her, I gave her the choice." I glared at him, resisting the urge to barge into him. "And if you really give a damn about her, then just let her go with this. We both want the same thing, Bella's well being. Hale, just stay out of my business and I'll stay out of yours."

"She is my business." He took another threatening step, closing the space between us.

"Not anymore," I said acidly, before determinedly meeting his gaze and then laying out my claim.

"She is about to become my wife. She is _my_ responsibility now," I said heatedly. The words sounded strange coming from my mouth. But what was stranger was how right they felt, how much I meant them. In that moment, I knew I couldn't leave her alone. And it was not the guilt; it was just that same disconcerting feeling when I was away from her. The need to check on her, to protect her.

"Bella might not see through your façade, but I do. I'll never let this marriage happen as long as I'm alive," he said with determined fire in his eyes.

That really did it. Why couldn't he just stop? This arrangement didn't even involve him, why was he becoming such an unnecessary hindrance. Giving into my urge, I grasped his collar.

"Stay away from her," he shouted, losing all his control as he pulled my collar in return.

"Make me."

When he made the first move, I decided I wasn't going to go easy on him this time. With anger burning in me, I thrust my fist into his body.

"Stop!" Bella cried, as she tried to push us apart. Surprised by her sudden appearance, I paused, and Jasper took advantage, scoring a blow to my cheek that sent me reeling back into the wall.

"Stop it, Jasper. Dammit…stop!" Bella begged as he charged towards me. Too disoriented by the recent blow, I tried to stay upright, but soon I was beginning to see two of everything.

Bella abruptly rushed towards me and stood in front of me, her arms outstretched.

"Can you both just stop!" She scolded, and then in a more softer tone, "Why are you both doing this to me? Don't I get to a say in my own life?"

"Bella-" Jasper began.

"Stop. Just stop it, Jazz." She stared at him in silence, and I watched in drowsy fascination how his expression went from uncontrolled fury to chagrin.

"Bella," he began frustrated, "I need to talk to you and I can't do that when he's here. Please ask him to leave." He said the words in confidence, but his voice failed to hide his desperation. He wanted her to choose him to stay.

Suddenly, the haze cleared, and the moment seemed too real. So this was what it came down to, it was going to be me or him. I knew that if she chose him, there was a good chance that he would talk her out of the agreement. Maybe she would be able to worm her way out of this controversy, but I knew I would never live it down.

The vulnerability right now was too palpable, too relatable. I could feel myself falling into the place I refused to want to go to, in those dark nights at our house. The vivid memories clouded into my vision, and I could see _her_. Thea's worried gaze flitting between the two of us.

"_I don't want him, Thea. Tell him to leave. I can't do this anymore. He makes me insane. Every time I see him-" she choked, a painful cry erupting from her throat._

I closed my eyes to stop the horrifying memories from plaguing my mind. Yet I could still hear _her _voice from far away. _Leave, Edward. Please just go away._

Opening my eyes, I looked towards Bella. Her face conflicted, her forehead puckered. It was astonishing how my past had aligned with my present. The same vulnerability, the same unsteady beat of my heart…the same aching in my chest. I didn't want to be told away again.

Her eyes met mine for the briefest of moments, and I couldn't help the words that came to mind.

Choose me. Please.

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**A/N: Jasper or Edward? Who is Bella going to choose? Just a note, there will be no romantic angle between Jasper and Bella. **

**And what in the whole world will make Bella go to Edward's hotel in the middle of night (in next chapter)?**

**Was Edward too confusing, too cryptic? Too much of a **_**guy**_**? **

**I know most of you were eager for an EPOV, do let me know your thoughts by clicking on that review button. I would love to hear them.  
**


	15. Chapter 15 – Beginnings

**Hey you guys!**

**Hope you're doing great. Here is the next chapter. It's the normal BPOV and a short paragraph of EPOV to end Edward's train of thought from the previous chapter. Thanks to my awesome betas, Nijiska and OTD673, for their help!  
**

**If you missed the EPOV last chapter due to the fail in Twi update alert, go back and read it!**

**Won't bore you guys with my talks right now. Just read the A/N note at the end.

* * *

**

_**Recap:**_

_The vulnerability right now was too palpable, too relatable. I could feel myself falling into the place I refused to want to go to, in those dark nights at our house. The vivid memories clouded into my vision, and I could see her. Thea's worried gaze flitting between the two of us._

_"I don't want him, Thea. Tell him to leave. I can't do this anymore. He makes me insane. Every time I see him-" she choked, a painful cry erupting from her throat._

_I closed my eyes to stop the horrifying memories from plaguing my mind. Yet I could still hear her voice from far away. "Leave, Edward. Please just go away."_

_Opening my eyes, I looked towards Bella. Her face conflicted, her forehead puckered. It was astonishing how my past had aligned with my present. The same vulnerability, the same unsteady beat of my heart…the same aching in my chest. I didn't want to be told away again._

_Her eyes met mine for the briefest of moments, and I couldn't help the words that came to mind._

_Choose me. Please._

**Chapter 15 – Beginnings**

**BPOV**

It's funny how you find yourself in the strangest of places sometimes. I gazed at the scene unfolding in front me in silent disbelief. They couldn't make me choose…could they? But the look of ill-concealed hostility on Jazz's face told me that was exactly what I was supposed to do.

I turned to Edward. And there was that same look again.

His face was an expertly carved stone statue. Except that his eyes weren't, they kept growing crazed, helplessly deep with each passing moment. It was as though he wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't escape his mouth. Frozen, that's what I would describe him as. What I wouldn't give to find out what was going through his head.

I looked to Jazz again, an expression of defeat floating over his too young face. I was conflicted, and I didn't know what to do…could I really tell any of them go away? Jazz, my childhood buddy and Edward, Edward… my… future husband. I closed my eyes, hoping for the darkness to provide some reprieve from this absurd situation, some wisdom for what I should do next.

Resolve solidified, I opened my eyes, turning towards Edward. Vaguely, I noticed he had said nothing on his behalf. I appreciated that, but…that didn't change what had to be done.

"Edward, I need to talk to Jazz. I'm sorry…I'd like some privacy." For a moment, something flashed in his eyes, but he quickly recomposed himself, nodding in silent acquiescence. Without a word, he swiftly turned, closing the door behind his quiet footsteps. I reached out towards the door, intending to apologize one last time, but he was gone before I had even taken my first step.

**EPOV**

Just keep walking, Edward.

Come on, Edward. Don't let her get to you. You _are_ stronger that that. Dammit, keep walking.

Stepping into the lift, I slumped to the side of the lift wall. Raising my eyes, I stared at the reflection in the mirror on the lift's wall.

Noting my peculiar appearance, I moved in closer, inspecting my face. And that's when I saw _him_.

I saw those eyes with an emotion I hated. Vulnerability. That's not who I was, not the man I had built over the years.

Faintly, my mind floated back to a night in my childhood. I vaguely remembered Thea stroking my hair that night as she tucked me into bed. I could hear her voice saying, "You have deep eyes, Edward. They sparkle…just like glass. One can see through them," she gave a short laugh, pressing a palm to my chest, smiling down at me. "Right into your soul."

I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes, not wanting to see them. Hell, I was grown man…not a child. I glared at the pathetic person in the mirror, putting as much anger I could in my stare.

It didn't work. It was still there, screaming in those eyes. The green eyes I knew so, so well. The eyes that weren't mine, the eyes that were of the child I thought I had left far behind.

He was back.

**BPOV**

Turning towards Jazz, I composed my face into calm, let's-make-peace face. "Hi," I started.

He smiled grimly before answering, "Hi." I sat down by his side, keeping a careful distance between us, faintly remembering a time when I used to jump into his lap just to annoy him. Things had changed.

"You shouldn't have fought with Edward." I knew I was scolding, but I couldn't help it. It was a habit that just wasn't going to go.

"You shouldn't have agreed, Bella. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were trying to get famous."

I cracked a sardonic smile at the unlikelihood of that. Then I remembered the pending discussion and my mood sobered. "Jazz-"

"Why did you do it?" He asked with a sense of urgency, taking my hands so quickly that I jumped.

"Jazz, I -" I began to explain, but he cut me short again. "Why didn't you talk to me?" He lowered his head, peering at me with hurt hazel eyes.

His mood was a total 180 of what I had expected. I had thought he would shout, curse, and tell me how ridiculous I was being. In my heart, I was worried about his volatile reaction. That was part of the reason I sent Edward away, but neither he nor Jazz needed to know about that.

"It was my decision," I told him, with my head high. It truly was. Edward had given me the option, and _I_ had chosen him.

"Jazz," I started softly, brushing his shoulder tenderly. "He's helping me," I said in my most sincere voice. He had to believe me.

"You really are blinded by him, aren't you?" He asked rhetorically, and then shaking his head, he disengaged our hands. He stared down at his shoes, hatred seeped into his expression fast and hard.

"He's taken my place," he said in such a low voice, I almost didn't hear him. I reached out to touch him, but then thought better and took my hand back. "It's not like that," I said quietly, feeling all the exhaustion of the day weighing on my shoulders. Losing my job. Edward's declaration. My engagement. And now this. I felt like I had grown another hundred years in a day.

"I'm not even a part of your decisions anymore," he said in a monotone voice, and my eyes filled as I felt the pain underneath in his words. "The same girl that came to me whenever she got into trouble or was hurt…the same girl I thought of as my little sister," he took a deep breath, "she's matured so quickly in the past few months that she doesn't even need me anymore." He continued blandly, and I looked away.

"Don't you dare," I scolded angrily, "I still need you, Jazz. I never stopped needing you. You don't get to say that. Don't you ever say that."

"You know what he told me today," Jazz continued. "He told me that you were his responsibility now. And you know what I did? I stared…I fucking stared because that was all I could do when I realized he was right. I don't think I can do this anymore, I can't be your friend and see you walk into this hell you are choosing."

I pressed my fists into my face. _Why was life so hard?_ Why couldn't I go back to the time when I was young, when we were the quiet children engrossed in our small little world. I didn't want to grow up.

It was difficult to breathe between the tears that I was holding, I grasped his arm. "Now you're making me upset."

"Bella, I've been upset for the last two months," he whispered blankly. His confession knocked the breath out of me, "Jazz," I whispered, trying to make him stop, but the sick part of my mind wanted to hear it all, to listen to all my mistakes. To remind me just how good he was, and how horrible I was.

"I tried to do what I could to make you stop, but now…" he paused staring into the distance, "nothing I say will matter. I know he can never love you the way you deserve, Bella. You don't see it, do you? " He shook his head, looking at me with incredulous eyes.

"You're walking towards the dark, Bella."

Twisting my face away, I looked up at the ceiling. Deciding I had had enough, I stood up, taking off to my room abruptly. I closed the door behind me before slumping against it. Sliding down the door, I buried my face in my knees. I wasn't ready to do this anymore. I wanted an out. I couldn't keep up with all this angst.

I stood up and collapsed face down on my bed, my face deep in the pillow.

There was a way. I knew what I had to do. I just didn't know how. Tired, I closed my eyes. At least, today was over.

~x~x~x~x~

_I am running. Fast. Hard. It's the fear that makes my heart run too._

_I hear my breaths, I hear my footfalls, I hear the wind as it whistles in my ear._

_I'm not fast enough. Bella, you must run, I tell myself. _

_Before long, I am back on that road again. The one with dark trees, the trees that look like black claws at night._

_I stop as I see dark figures looming ahead. My heart thuds, I don't want to go there but my feet carry me forward anyway. They are hunched over a dark figure._

_I come closer, I'm curious. They are beating up a man. The man cries out, begging for mercy but they don't relent. Then I see the man's wet face in the moonlight and I open my mouth to release my own cry._

_It's Jazz. _

_I try to reach him, but I'm shoved back every time._

_I look around for help. And I see him. I see Edward. I run towards him, pulling on his arm to drag him to Jazz. But he doesn't budge. He stares blankly at Jazz, his body aloof of the world around him. Like ice. Like cold stone._

_I helplessly stare at Jazz and with blood shot eyes, he says, "You don't need me anymore."_

_~x~x~x~x~_

"No," I screamed, as I woke with a jolt. Tearing the blankets covering my body, I ran out of my room, calling for him, "Jazz! Jazz!" I ran into the guest room where he usually slept when he was over.

Only he wasn't there. His bed was neat, the sheets primly tucked in, the blanket folded into a long rectangle. Rubbing my face, I struggled with my breaths and pounding heart.

"It was just a dream," I whispered to myself, feeling silly for being so choked up over a dream. But it was so real. Unbelievably real. Since when had my dreams become indistinguishable from reality?

I collapsed on to his bed, feeling cold and lonely. He had abandoned me. My friend, Jasper Hale, was gone for good. What was left for me here, now? Not my job, not Jazz. Not even Charlie. I looked down catching the glint of the diamond ring. Holding my hand at a distance, I twisted my hands, observing the light cast by my diamond in the dark room.

It was time to start making something of my life. If I didn't do something now I would be locked in this state forever. I couldn't let that happen…the grief couldn't win over me…it wouldn't win over me.

Picking myself up, I grabbed my warm wool coat on the way out of the apartment. I checked my watch. It was four in the morning. I hesitated, not wanting to leave the house at this hour, but I didn't have time to waste. I couldn't stand it anymore. In my night dress, the night was chilly, the wind biting my ankles where my sneakers exposed them.

I stopped at the isolated bus stop, not wanting to go into the basement for my truck this late. A bus stopped, and I hopped on. Edward didn't live too far from me. I saw a few women in the bus, and I would have felt comforted by their presence, but with the man on the other side of the bus leering at me, it did little to help. I pulled my hoodie consciously tightly around me, even though it was zipped up.

_You're just imagining things_, I told myself. _No one is looking at you. Just take it easy. Deep breaths_, I reminded myself. I glanced in front quickly. He was still staring. At my legs.

I shuddered as I felt his gaze sweep over me and I tucked my legs beneath the seat. I was beginning to feel sick.

Edward wouldn't even be up right now. What had I been thinking? Walking out like a fool in a calf-length night dress at 4.a.m. when it was still dark. Dizzy, I began to count to a 100 and then back.

To my relief, the stop close to the hotel arrived. There was only one problem. The man was standing right next to the door. Wobbly, I stood up, wishing more than anything I had stayed home. Breathe in. Breathe out. No one's going to hurt you.

I kept my distance until the bus stopped. As the doors began to open and I took my place, the man bent down covertly sniffing my hair. I jerked away, disgusted and hurriedly got off the bus. I almost cried out when I realized the man had gotten off at the same bus stop.

Throwing restraint to the sky, I ran wildly towards the entrance of the hotel knowing I was probably being absurd. I was stopped short when I saw another gang of young teenage boys. I looked back to see the man walking in my direction. I began to feel the stirrings of full on panic attack. No. No. No.

Frantic, I searched all directions, and I don't know what is was that prompted me to look at the wall facing away from the hotel. As if it could ever be possible, Edward was leaning against the wall. Eyes closed as he exhaled a gentle puff of the smoke. I wanted to scream for him, but I seemed to have lost my voice. So I did the next best thing, I ran.

As though he sensed my movement, he opened his eyes, his eyes far away. Slowly they moved across the parking lot and his whole body went rigid as his eyes met mine. And then, I slammed into him.

Again.

Edward quickly put his arms around me, pulling me to him. I had never felt safer in the arms of a man. I looked up to see Edward's gaze trained forward at the man's angry and frustrated face. I shivered, burying my face into Edward's chest again, squeezing his waist. I felt rather than heard the growl that came from his chest.

"Come on, Bella," his voice rumbled as he looked down at me with undisguised disapproval.

Chastened, I let him take me by the hand to the lobby of the hotel. On the way to his apartment, he was his usual brooding self, with a flaring edge in his eyes. He led the way to his room, my footsteps dragging behind. Strangely enough, I felt none of the apprehension I had the last time I came to his room. His proximity was beginning to become comforting despite his commanding presence.

Once in the room, he switched on the light, turning and glaring at me.

"Have you seen the time?" He asked calmly, but the anger in his eyes was palatable.

"I had to speak to you about something," I blurted.

"I'd love to know what was so important that you couldn't wait for the morning," he said in slightly mocking tone. That triggered a bout of unexpected anger.

"Seriously, what is your problem?" I asked straight out. If he had a problem, he had to learn to communicate.

Edward face contorted into a bitter expression. "Now let's see," he said sarcastically, tapping a finger on his chin. "My fiancée isn't home at 4 in the morning. She decides to come meet me by herself at this time. To make things better, she takes the safest way to the hotel, coming from the back, near the isolated parking I go on?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Okay, I get it," I mumbled quietly.

"You get it?" Edward asked with perturbed expression. Moving his hands to my shoulders he shook me, "Have you lost your mind, Bella? For God's sake, don't you have any sense of survival? If I wasn't there-" he stopped abruptly, his expression freezing.

"Why are you here?" He asked suddenly, looking up at me with wide, worried eyes without a stitch of anger. His eyes scanned hurriedly swept over my profile. "Are you hurt?"

At my lack of response, he moved closer holding my face with his warm hands, "Bella, talk to me. What's wrong?"

I forced my mouth to open and say the words that had led me here at this hour.

"I can't wait for two weeks. I need to get married to you as soon as possible."

Edward's face blanched, as his mouth parted in surprise. I looked away, finding some hidden strength to say the last part.

"I don't want to live in Seattle anymore. I want to go to New York…with you."

I looked at Edward, his face still in shock. He removed his hands from me, running them through his hair, pulling on the ends in an aggressive way. Unlike accepting my decision the way I had hoped, he questioned it. "Why the change?"

"Nothing of consequence." I ignored the pang in my heart, as my mouth spewed the lie.

"Bella, I think you are rushing this. I need an answer." He glanced my way.

"Edward," I sighed exaggeratedly. "Do we really need to do this? I don't have a job anymore. Everyone here seems to know all the controversy around us. I don't want to live here anymore. And think about it, how much sense does a marriage make if two people live in different places? The media could use that."

"And," I continued as I saw his thoughtful expression, "don't you have to get back to work? There is no point of delaying." I hoped he would just accept it. The other day I had overheard him talking with someone about the trouble his delay was causing.

"Bella, can you please not think about me?" He asked impatiently. "I can handle things; it's you that I'm worried about." I just glared at him in return.

"So it's okay for you to look after me, but completely wrong when I do the same."

He seemed to turn silent on that before speaking in a quiet voice, "I don't like others taking care of me, Bella."

"Why?" I asked, feeling this conversation going to some other place, some hidden, dark place where his secrets lay. I felt the tension grow in the room, and my heart started beating as I felt the moment slide to a stand still. His eyes took on a dark, unfathomable quality as he regarded me silently, and I watched in fascination how his frame morphed into a more intimidating one.

He closed his eyes, shaking his head before opening them and looking away.

I decided to break the silence. "Why won't you tell me anything, Edward? You just take it all on yourself. You can't expect me to communicate and not contribute anything yourself."

He nodded, but didn't comment further. "It's late, Bella. Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," I admitted, silently admiring the broad strength of his shoulders as he turned his back to me and looked around the room. He ran his hand through his hair, apparently not finding what he was looking for.

"What are you looking for?" I asked, my interest piqued.

"My car keys. I don't think Harris got them back them from the service centre." Turning towards me, he shrugged. "The car's brakes were not working properly."

"Oh that's alright. I'll just take the bus," I said, trying to sound nonchalant and doing a terrible job at it.

Edward gave me a sharp look. "Don't be silly. I'm not letting you out of my sight at this time." His tone caused something terribly wild to flutter in my stomach. Being wise I ignored it.

Running a hand through his hair, he took a deep breath casting an anxious look in my direction.

"Look, it's late. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too. Why don't you crash here tonight and then we can discuss this in the morning?" He asked, his voice devoid of his usual confidence.

_Oh…_

"I mean of course, only if you're comfortable. We could take the bus together-" Aggravated, he ran a hand over his face. He was so flustered, it was almost funny.

Feeling slightly stronger than before, I nodded and gave him an encouraging smile. "Sure. If it's not too much of a bother." _It_ _wouldn't hurt to be in the same hotel room, right?_

_Wrong. _As Edward, made his way to the bedroom, I realized the suite only had one bed. _Oh hell, this would be so awkward_. Of course, there was no way I was sharing a bed. And once again, I scolded myself for showing up this late (or should I say early?)

My worries vanished as Edward emerged with a pillow and sheet. Setting it out on sofa, he turned towards me. "I'll take the couch, you can take the bed." He said the words, awkwardly looking away the entire time. Seemed like I wasn't the only one.

"Oh no, I take the couch. You take the bed," I replied. For heaven's sake, I was the intruder. I couldn't make him sleep on the couch.

"Bella," Edward said with a little agitation. "You take the bed, I take the couch," he ordered.

"No, no. That's not right. I'm the one-" I halted as Edward shot me an impatient look.

"Bed," he pointed. When I was thinking of protesting again, he glared. I huffed and walked to the bedroom. "Frustrating men," I grumbled under my breath.

And I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard a chuckle behind me.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so next chapter will bring what most of you have been waiting for. I'll leave it to you to guess exactly what is lined up for the next chapter ;D Don't forget to let me know!**

**I haven't had the chance to reply to the reviews from last chapter yet. Just got back from an exam and have one more during the week and more in the next. I'll try to get back to you guys as soon as I can. Hope you understand…**

**Oh…and…a review would be lovely!**


	16. AN: Summaries for all chapters of story

******ALL the chapter summaries will be added here, including all those after chp 15 ******

**I know it's easy to forget the details, so this may help you refresh your knowledge.**

**I'll post the next chapter now, right after this one.**

**Chapter 1 – Prologue**

This chapter represents a scene in the future. When and how we get to it is a mystery. The main points:

~Bella starts off by comparing the current situation to her past with Edward. She doesn't understand why they couldn't continue on in the happy world they were in. Neither does she feel that fairy tales are ever true.

~There is a silent communication between the two as Edward shows up to see Bella. Bella finds Edward on the floor, terribly upset. Bending down, she embraces him, empathizing with his pain. It makes her sad to see Edward's state, to think of how different the man was who she met 8 months ago. While in his arms, she vows to get her and Edward through this difficult phase.

**Chapter 2 – Vision Clash**

This chapter is just there to form your base. It gives you all the facts. The main points:

~This chapter sheds some light on Bella and Jazz's relationship. Mainly, they met in primary school, both were of a kind. Quiet, shy…isolated. They buddied up and the rest was history. They became protectors of each other, went through high school and shifted to Seattle. There is a covert mention of Bella losing her mother at an early age, and Charlie not being….that great.

~Currently, Bella works for an advertising firm as an editor. Jazz is a painter gone against his family to fulfill his creative urges. Being from a very sophisticated family, Jazz was expected to follow the conventional steps and go to Business School. He refused and joins an art college. Now he has a cozy, little shop that barely makes ends meet.

~The chapter takes place in a gallery where some of Jazz's paintings are set up. There she comes across Rosalie, Jazz's sister. Bella and her, well, don't get along quite well. Rose is ostentatious and a struggling model. She misses Jazz in her life, and at times feels that Bella has taken her place, hence the sour feelings.

~ Bella in her stilettos manages to take Edward down with her as she loses balance. Edward isn't flattered; in fact he pretty much gives her the stink eye. Bella is mortified to make a scene at her best friend's painting show. Later, Edward makes it up by apologizing. We have a bit of chemistry going on between the two when Rose comes up and breaks the show. Bella is shocked to find Rose is Edward's date. Strangely, Edward seems repulsed and pretty uncomfortable with his date. Bella feels conflicted due to her feelings since she can't remember feeling the same with anyone.

~Edward walks away abruptly when Rose initiates a lip lock leaving Bella enjoying this more than she should.

**Chapter 3 - Spin:**

~Rosalie starts talking with Bella after Edward walks away. Bella notes how Rose is trying to trigger a response from Bella. Bella gives none, keeping her cool. However, when Rosalie pushes too far by seeing Bella's relationship **only** as a mere friend, Bella retorts, claiming that she is happy to mean so much to a person like Jazz. Rosalie backs off, partly due to the surfacing of her bitter feelings. Meanwhile, Bella feels sympathy that Rosalie has been too busy to catch those important moments with Jazz e.g. when he paints, when he's upset, when her dances around the apartment (sweet little moments). She takes a moment to admire the simplicity of their relationship. No words, just heart felt care.

~As Bella decides to leave, she wishes Jazz goodbye, telling him to keep his esteem high, to not let anyone walk over him. That he is good, and that no one should make him feel otherwise.

~The following day Bella arrives at work. Jess – the gossiper, the keener, too eager for her own good co-employee (strangely, the writer of the gossip section) – questions her about her weekend, the gallery etc. Basically, Jess sees only the 'physical aspect of things' when she sees men. Nothing more, nothing less. She's narrow minded, lacks skills in any relationship, and not surprisingly is head over heels for Mike – sports writing, who flirts with anything female.

~At the end of day, when Bella is returning home, she does a double take when she spots Edward across the street in a seemingly intimate embrace with none other than a red head (guess who?) When Edward rushes into the apartment, banging the door closed, Bella decides that she has misjudged Edward. He is wrong, corrupt – Bella realizes how wrong she can be at judging people. Without a second glance, she leaves.

~At home, Jazz feels worried seeing the way Bella responds to Edward. He warns her, telling her that she could never fit in with him. Bella takes Jazz's statement negatively, blaming her qualities and her being in general, a misfit.

~A few days later, Bella's truck breaks down. Once again, she gapes as Edward shows up out of nowhere with a new companion, Leah. He offers her a lift, while she observes him. She sees him as a handsome man, even glamorous, but it's not enough because she sees more beneath the beautiful mask – the subtle, protective hunch and the restlessness in his eyes. She sees it because the same looks back at her every day in the mirror.

**Chapter 4 – A plea**

Bella and Edward share a light moment, where Bella is unable to resist his charms and she finds herself gawking at him. She finds it impossible to not smile back when Edward lips turn up in amusement. Bella denies the lift, but Edward insists. When she relents, she notices the sudden brightness in his eyes and she feels warm and happy too. Another imp point, Edward smokes. Bella detects that and she is drawn despite it. As she enters the car, she trips and Edward catches her. He then suddenly seems more aloof; she wonders why but lets it go. In the car, Bella gasps as she finds out that Edward already knows her address. She notices Leah's covert touch on Edward's arm. Edward, seeming repulsed pulls away, but Bella assumes the touch signifies a relationship.

When they arrive at Bella's place, Edward offers his hand and Bella grasps it unthinkingly. As their palms connect, she feels herself drawn into another world. One in which there are only the two of them. And in that moment, her attraction to him becomes painfully obvious. She's actually scared, and rushes away from the magnitude of what she is facing. Once in her apartment, she reaches for the window and finds Edward rooted to the spot, staring at the entrance to the building like a lost boy. After a while, he returns to his car and drives away. Bella is hit by an unbearable feeling of loneliness, and that he is leaving her like everyone else. Last thought:

_I ran from Forks, from Charlie, and from Renee because I was a coward and I couldn't deny the accusations because they were all true…_

She cries herself to sleep.

**Chapter 5 – Surreal**

Bella goes back to normal life, imagining it all never happened until it is announced that the magazine (Paxiou) Bella works for is having a success party. She reflects on her job and workplace.

"_It had been a total of five months since the magazine had started. Despite the slow start, we were gaining more and more readers daily. It was phenomenal and Mrs. Mallory (boss) was ecstatic. Our sales were rising at a skyrocketing rate and the critics, though skeptical, had given a thumbs up to our progress."_

She loves her job, loves the team spirit. She thinks there couldn't be a better person for each job. The evening before the party when everyone starts packing, Lauren Mallory enters. Now that's someone you might want to know. In Bella's words:

_Mrs. Mallory walked to the center of the entrance, the chatter died out instantly, the silence resonating with the clicks of the heels of her stilettos_._ The crowd gathered around her while she took her place. She clapped her hands to get everyone's attention, and every head in the room snapped up in alertness. Men stood up straighter while women huddled closer together. Mrs. Mallory had that effect. The tension grew in the air as her penetrating gaze moved across every face in the room while the room remained silent._

Mallory is a strict woman, wife of business tycoon, Tyler Mallory. Disciplined, power hungry, arrogant are just a few of the words to describe her. She's almost vicious when it comes to mistakes. The evening before, she lets the staff know that she will be more serious, more stringent, more…unforgiving. One mistake and the door out is your destiny. She lets the staff know that she will not let this progress be hindered. She wants the best and she'll get it.

She announces that at the party, the guest will be Edward Cullen. He's 32, a renowned entrepreneur from New York, who started working at the age of 23. He is the CEO of a company well-known for its innovative marketing strategies and principles, a company which has been in business for about 30 years.

Bella gets shocked and Mallory notices. Bella fills with apprehension at the thought of seeing Edward again. The night Bella dresses pretty graciously, she's not a flaunter but the world she lives in does. That makes her an outcast, it scares her, the drinking, the smoking, the cheating, the flaunting. She doesn't want any of it, she hates to but she does arrive at the party. She hates to admit that she will find Edward in a comprised state. Soon, she finds herself in front of the double doors to the party hall. Slowly, she reaches out and touches the handle. She jumps at the unexpected tug she instantly feels. Closing her eyes she lets the pull guide her into the hall of the party, thinking she is ready to face it.

**Chapter 6 - Smoke-**

Bella finds herself blinded by the sharp flashing lights. Bella finds herself in the grasp of Lauren, who disdainfully appraises Bella's outfit. Bella begins to feel very small between Mallory's disgusted glances and the rapidly clicking cameras. To make matters worse, Mallory begins to use Bella, introducing her, flaunting her perfect academic record, experiences. Bella realizes the extent to which Mallory knows her, despite the fact that they have shared very few words since her interview. Bella begins to move away, but Mallory sinks her nails into Bella's arm. Bella begins to panic and looks up to see Edward. Edward pries Mallory off of Bella. Bella escapes to the washroom, gets a little emotional with tears. Later, to avoid Mallory she steps out to find a very angry Edward smoking and on the phone with Leah. Leah happens to be his secretary. And he is practically minutes away from firing her. Bella feels bad for eavesdropping, but as she moves the floor creaks. All she can think is one word. Busted.

**Chapter 7 – Farewell**

Edward puts out the cigarette as his gaze remains locked with her. Funnily, he assumes Bella is there to smoke. He even offers her one because she happens to be standing in the smoking area. She surprises him by disagreeing and letting him know she doesn't smoke. Edward notices that Bella has cried due to Mallory, he gets angry and eventually convinces Bella to leave with him. After much resistance, Bella decides to give in. Back in the car, Bella thanks Edward. Edward seeming distracted, nods. They get into small talk, and Bella finds out that Edward is leaving in two days. Bella's heart falls to her stomach, she knew he was bound to return, still she doesn't feel prepared for it. Maybe it is something she was expecting for both of them. Even Edward's mood seems to get quieter and darker. Feeling the stress of the night and the sudden sadness, Bella starts getting emotional again. When they reach Bella's place, Edward tells her to go on. They both find themselves locked in place, both unwilling. Edward asks about Bella's weekend, Bella's working at a flower shop as a favor to a friend. Edward in hopes of seeing her again decides to drop by to pick flowers for his mom's party. They part at a happier note, Bella goes home to find that Jasper has finally scored a date with Alice despite his shy nature.

**Chapter 8 – Malady**

Bella starts her day at her friend, Angela's shop. Bella is doing Angela by allowing her to take a much needed break. While initially apprehensive, Bella finds that her day goes more smoothly than she has imagined. Bella is constantly on the edge all day, anticipating Edward's arrival in the evening. At five, Bella is surprised to see Alice and Jasper. Alice playfully scolds Jazz for forgetting the flowers, and Jasper seems visibly ashamed. In addition, Alice states that Edward lives close and that he probably would be showing up for the flowers. Too excited, she requests Bella to give him some time and to keep the shop open until later in case he doesn't show. Bella agrees, Jazz doesn't. Jazz is pretty protective of Bella, to him if Edward wants flowers, he has to learn to get them on time and Bella doesn't need to work overtime for him. Either way, Bella relents and so does Jazz. It starts raining and Bella does overtime. Finally, Bella decides Edward isn't going to show. The cold and rain just add to the sting of Edward not showing up. The conditions are pretty bad outside, Bella decides not to bother Jazz despite the fact that her truck is gone for service and she has to walk. Then the worst part, Bella gets assaulted. While she lies on the wet floor in the most vulnerable position, she briefly wonders if this is the point at which she will die. She yearns for the safety and warmth of her mother's embrace, thinking that she may attain it in the after life. She sees a flash and turns towards it….thinking it's Renee who has come to take her from this selfish world. But then she hears the one voice she never expected to. It's Edward.

**Chapter 9 –Stand By You**

Edward never expects to see what he does, the shock is too much. Then comes the pain. Quickly, he rushes to her, trying to figure out if she is still conscious, if she can hear him. Bella too upset from the current situation wants to disappear and Edward's pleas just make it worse. She finds some strength to ask for help from Edward who is rocking back and forth, stating that all this is a 'bad dream'. Edward realizes her need, picks her up, covers her up, and gets her seated in the car, but she is too shaken to let go of him. In the mean time, we find out that Bella was a virgin before the attack. Edward becomes stiff with anger and in a monotone voice states the need for a hospital and a police complaint. Bella gets even more upset and starts thrashing her fists on Edward's chest. She just wants to hurt him, get rid of that pain inside her somehow. Edward tries to calm Bella down, but before she knows it she loses consciousness.

Back in the hospital when Bella wakes everything comes back to her and she goes in denial. In the background, Bella hears a fight between Jasper and Edward, which soon becomes physical. Jazz is furious; he blames it all on Edward. When Alice tries to soothe things, Jazz tells her to leave because she had insisted Bella to stay till later at the shop. Edward insists that he wants to see Bella once more, but Jasper vehemently disagrees. Alice and Edward leave and Jazz shares a quiet moment with Bella where he tells her he will support her. He begs her to talk to him. The cops arrive and will carry out a private investigation because Mr. Cullen has insisted. Also, Bella refuses to inform Charlie. The doctor comes in stating that he now has Bella's blood test results.

**Chapter 10 – The letter**

Bella doesn't show infections or evidence of a pregnancy before. Later tests reveal that no pregnancy has resulted. The next few weeks pass in sadness and quiet acceptance of what has happened. The chapter also speaks of Jasper and the changes in him- how he is always so quiet, unrested, worried…even guilty. Their relationship strains because Bella just wants to be normal and doesn't like the extra care Jasper takes with her. Bella begins to have nightmares, and Jazz tries to help, but Bella is scared and she accidentally strikes Jasper during one episode. Bella asks Jazz to give her more space, that she heal only on her own. Bella returns to her workplace after a few weeks, there she is confronted by Lauren Mallory, her boss. She all but forces Bella in a way only she can to tell her about Bella's absence and the reason behind it. First Bella cowers, but then she gains strength and tells Mallory that she doesn't need to as per privacy acts. Lauren gets pretty pissed. Bella receives a letter from Edward. In the letter, Edward states his reason for not showing up earlier. His cousin had committed suicide, and her roommate had called Edward. Edward had rushed to the scene and driven his cousin to the ER. When Alice had called Edward to ask about Bella, Edward realized that Bella was still waiting. Once his cousin is stable, he left to go to Bella and found her on the road. He ends the letter saying that he is sorrier than she'll ever know.

**Chapter 11- And so we meet again**

Bella doesn't mention much about the letter to anyone. She realizes it wasn't Edward's fault, but part of her doesn't want to focus on this. She just wants to go on living a normal life, not thinking about all of this anymore. At work, Bella is under Mallory's watchful eyes and though she tries to forget Edward's letter, she can't. She thinks about it several times during a day. Bella imagines forgiving Edward, relieving him from his guilt, but he is no longer within her reach. She receives a call one day at work from Jazz. He tells her to rush home instantly. When she arrives, she finds that on the news she is being stated as the reason behind Edward declining Tyler Mallory's business offer. An internet source reveals that a person called the Insider has revealed that Bella was hurt and Edward came to the rescue. People are wondering about the accuracy of these reports. Jasper paints this in a negative light, stating that this was Edward's idea of getting publicity. Bella gets very upset and doesn't pick up Charlie's calls. The next morning she is shocked to find Edward in her office room. Bella lashes out on him, asking him how he could tell the press anything. Edward pleads stating that he had nothing to do with this, that he was just as unaware as Bella. Edward thinks the Mallorys are behind all of this, he explains that Paxiou was to expand with the money on the deal. When he turned it down both Tyler and Lauren wanted revenge. Bella wants to know how to get out of this. Edward can think of one way. Bella will have to marry him.

**Chapter 12 - Surrender to Destiny**

Bella is angry and shocked by Edward's suggestion. She scolds him, thinking he is being foolish. That is until he explains the plan. Edward takes out the picture in the news, the one from the night in which he is carrying Bella. Edward proposes that the picture can be interpreted in several ways. He states that picture can be seen as that of a man and his fiancé. Bella then looks again, and finds that the embrace can be seen as intimate.

_"Why do we need to have an actual marriage? Can't we just have something like breaking the engagement off? Or something like…I had agreed to be your...um…girlfriend?" I stammered._

_"That paints us in bad light; it makes us the liars. We can't do that. We need to go with the marriage in the next two weeks. As for the girlfriend plan…that can't work. That's a very obviously manufactured story and that comes out in the open as soon as I leave for New York. We need something more lasting…more believable. Besides, if I left you here by yourself, the media will sabotage you to an end. It's hard working around them…I'm sure you understand that better than me," Edward mentioned the last part quietly._

Edward can get his brother to help them because he works in the media business. Edward says they need to be married for two years to make this whole idea believable or they have to confront the media in the courts which may or may not result in suitable action. Bella asks Edward why he is doing all this for her and he states that some things are best left unsaid. She asks Edward for more time and he says that they don't have much of it; they need to take fast action.

Bella finds that the press has collected below seeks refuge in a washroom, and Jazz informs Charlie about everything. Charlie helps Bella get out of Paxiou. At Bella's apartment, Charlie expresses his unhappiness about everything, how he would have helped if Bella had let him. Talking about this with Charlie upsets Bella even more, and she tells him she can handle herself. At work, Mallory fires Bella stating that it is her lack of interest. Bella is shocked, stating the she loves her job. Mallory eventually admits that it is because Bella caused the rejection of the deal. This is not true, Bella argues and half-pleads. Lonely and resigned, she leaves the building, and finds herself at Edward's hotel, she runs into his arms stating that she will marry him.

**Chapter 13 – Declaration of Fate**

Edward calms Bella down, and then takes her for lunch, where he urges Bella to tell him what is wrong. When he finds out that Mallory has fired Bella, he crushes a glass which causes his hand to bleed. Angrily, he leaves their table despite Bella trying to help. He sends a note for Bella, asking her to walk to the car in ten minutes. At the car, Bella realizes Edward's presence behind her when he places his hands on her hips. He tells her to keep walking straight as they are being watched. He tells her that they have to confront the media now, Bella freaks out, refusing. Eventually, Edward and Bella embrace, deciding to play along. The reporters arrive soon asking personal questions. One of them asks about the engagement ring, and quietly Edward holds up her hand which now has a ring (which he had slipped on to her finger while the press was talking.)

**Chapter 14- EPOV- Falling** – this is one chapter I'm going to recommend you read, it's pretty hard to summarize it all 'cause it has a lot of hidden clues and it gives you a peak into Edward's mine. I'll get back to this one and include a summary here.

**Chapter 15 – Beginnings**

Bella finds herself faced with the choice of choosing Edward or Jasper. She decides she owes Jazz an explanation for the sudden acceptance of a marriage to Edward. She asks Edward to give her sometime with Jasper. Edward walks away with dignity, but he is hurt. In the lift he looks into the mirror to find an emotion in his eyes that he thought he had succeeded in hiding. Vulnerability.

Jazz is very upset about Bella's decision; he feels Edward has taken his place as Bella's friend. Bella feels hurt to know that Jazz thinks this way. She tells him that he can never be replaced. He tells her he can't be her friend and see her taking the path she has chosen. He knows Edward can never be what he wants for Bella. In the middle of the night, Bella wakes to a nightmare about Jazz. She is surprised not to find him in the guest room. Terribly upset, she decides she doesn't want to stay in Seattle anymore. She convinces herself that she is ready for this marriage and despite the late hour decides to meet Edward. Taking a bus, she gets scared when men cast leering glances at her. She all but runs out of the bus and just about screams in relief when she spots Edward. Edward is very angry that Bella left her house so late. He is surprised to hear that she wants to get married sooner and go to NY with him and asks her reasons. She states she wants to be away from all this attention, that there is nothing left here for her to stay. Since it is so late, Edward asks Bella to stay in his bedroom while he takes the couch.

**Chapter 16 - Becoming Mrs. Cullen Part 1 -**

The following morning Bella wakes up to find herself in Edward's room. When she sees him, he abruptly informs her that after serious consideration he has decided to take her suggestion and marry her the following day. Bella is shocked to find that Edward wants to get married right away. However, she eventually comes to terms with the situation. Edward drives Bella back home and briefs her on the formalities. As the drive comes to an end, Edward acknowledges that Bella is going through a hard time and trusting him isn't easy, but despite all his flaws, he does know how to respect a woman. He also awkwardly mentions that they will have separate rooms and Bella is both relieved and mortified with the topic. Bella apprehensively calls Charlie to ask for his presence during the ceremony. The conversation starts with a very quiet, and self-blaming Charlie who morphs into an angry father as he learns of Bella's plans. When Bella finally works up her courage to ask him to be there, he closes the phone on her. Feeling rejected, Bella decides to ask Jazz. She walks to his house, and feels unwelcome when Jazz practically ignores her. Bella finally breaks it to him that she is getting married the following day, Jazz tries to and fails at behaving nonchalantly. Eventually, they share a moment and Jazz gets upset when he finds that Bella is leaving for NY. At Bella's request for his presence, he refuses it saying he can't watch her walk into a life he never wanted for. Miserable and dejected, Bella leaves his house and finds herself overwhelmed by her negative thoughts. To escape from them she starts running and before long she finds herself in front of a bar. Feeling reckless, she goes in for a drink - a rather strong one. Within moments, she is drunk and makes a toast for her wedding. When she turns, she is shocked to see a fuming Edward standing behind her. Without a doubt, she knows he has heard everything.

**Chapter 16 - Becoming Mrs. Cullen Part 2 –**

The chapter opens to Bella turning to see Edward after she has made her toast in the bar. Edward is angry at Bella's behavior but decides to stay at the bar a little longer for the sake of keeping appearances. The alcohol loosens Bella up and she confesses her reasons for a marriage to him. She is fed up, her key relationships to Jazz and Charlie have dissolved into nothingness. Unknowingly, she relates her fears to him – how scared she is to marry a complete stranger the next day. Edward listens silently. The absurdity of the situation overwhelms Bella, and she begins laughing loudly. But somewhere along the way her laughs mellow down and tears trickle down her cheeks. All she can think about is how much she has lost. Edward calms her down by taking her in his arms and murmuring soothingly. They walk home together, and Bella lets herself lean on Edward just this once. Edward tucks Bella in bed at her apartment. In the morning, Edward wakes Bella and tells her it's time. Bella is filled with apprehension.

The chapter then reverts to an EPOV. It starts with Edward arguing with Alice about how he doesn't want her there. He wants to keep things simple. Alice reminds him that whether he likes it or not Bella is becoming a part of their family. Edward finally relents. Frustrated, Edward sighs and looks up to see Bella dressed. He notes her simple appearance, the plain white dress she wears – yet he can't help but think of her as angel. Edward introduces Bella to Franco, and together they make it to the church. Once there, Jazz shows up and Bella temporarily forgets her worries. Bella walks down the aisle, listens to the sincerity in Edward's words as he takes his vows. But she can't return them. Edward and Bella step aside, where Edward asks Bella to do what she wants to, that he would never hold it against her if she walked away. He tells her that he truly will follow his vows, that every word he said was honest. When he walks away, Bella realizes that Edward says more with his actions than he does with his words. He has done so much for her, given her his hand to hold when everyone has let go. Edward's sincerity is unquestionable to her. With that thought in mind, she walks to the altar and takes her place beside him saying the vows that tie her to him for as long as they will last.

**Chapter 17 – My New Life –**

The chapter starts with Bella describing the shock on Edward's face when he realizes that they are now married. Edward reverently kisses Bella's fingers when the minister says that they may kiss now. Bella and Edward say their goodbyes to Alice and Jazz. Edward promises Jazz that he will take care of Bella and thanks Alice for her assistance with the marriage. Alice tearfully expresses her happiness over their marriage to Edward and apologizes to Bella once again about what happened. Bella assures Alice that it was never her fault and realizes that she has accepted that there is no one to blame. To Jazz, Bella expresses her concern over his relationship with Alice and how he should not give up on Alice. On the ride to the airport, Bella notices how tense Edward is. Edward explains that Lauren has sent reporters to the airport. Bella gets upset hearing this and Edward consoles her by telling her that he has a plan. Edward and Bella sneak into the airport via an entrance reserved for personnel because Franco uses his contacts to get them both past the initial security. Once safely in the plane, they both are relieved. Bella and Edward begin to talk and Bella realizes that when young, Edward was an extremist in sports, music…pretty much everything. But life has changed him. Bella asks Edward questions about his family and he shuts down. Edward's house is grand, ancient and beautiful. He lives there by himself with his housekeeper, Thea – who happens to be an exuberant, middle-aged Italian lady. After having lunch, Edward receives a call and encourages Bella to look around while he attends the call. Bella finds Edward's room and is shocked to see how messy it easy – papers strewn all over the place, clothes thrown to the side, but the room's walls hold no pictures. Bella looks around, admires the house and it's library. She then comes across a room that is locked…she is curious and tries to open the door again but stops cold when she hears Edward's voice, "What do you think you are doing?"

**Chapter 18 – The Bench –**

The chapter starts with Edward being displeased with Bella's curiosity about the locked door. Bella notices that Edward is angry and tries to justify herself, but Edward won't hear anything. Meanwhile, Thea witnesses their exchange and sends Edward away with an excuse. She assures Bella that Bella is not responsible for Edward's flighty behavior. Thea further states that she never expected Edward to get married and was surprised & little uncertain about his sudden marriage. However, now that's she seen Bella, she feels that this marriage is for a good reason. Bella asks Thea to whom the locked room belongs, but is surprised when Thea's demeanor changes and Thea states that this is not her secret to tell. Bella insists, surprised at how much she needs to know. Thea gives in, saying that the room belonged to Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother. Bella is confused, she doesn't understand why Edward is so sensitive about his mother's room, she wonders why he didn't seem as apprehensive when she talked to him about living by himself. Bella decides to leave for a walk, and crosses the gym room where she finds Edward. Bella watches as Edward exercises, surprised to see the intensity, concentration and anger on his face, she cowers away not being able to recognize the Edward she knows. Bella leaves instantly, surprised and shocked. She wanders across a path and takes a seat on bench she finds. Before Bella knows it is sunset and night soon follows. She hears Edward calling for her and startles, scared for a minute as her mind runs back to the scene in the gym, but then she hears the worry/fear in his voice & relaxes. He finds Bella as she calls him. Edward is quite angry, but he reigns his anger in and apologizes for his behavior. Bella apologizes for hers. Later he expresses how angry he was that she had wandered all by herself. Bella takes this the wrong way stating that the attack doesn't mean she can't look after herself. Edward is surprised by the anger in her words and states he never meant what she thinks. Bella knows she's acting out of control and before she knows it she is crying. Edward eases Bella on to his lap and rocks her while he tells her that nothing was her fault. The next morning brings Tanya, Edward's best friend and employee. She's gorgeous, intelligent and very vocal. Although she pleasantly greets Bella, Bella suspects that there is more under the surface. Tanya states that a man called Aro has proposed a deal to a company that Edward is desperately trying to establish a contract with. Edward gets mad when he hears this and sees the news in the paper. Bella finds Aro's picture peculiar and suspects that she's seen him before. And as she stares hard, it strikes her with clarity that she has seen him before in Lauren's office. This is of course, bad news because this may suggest that Aro and Lauren have teamed up to mess around with E's company and his reputation. When Bella mentions this to Edward, his face freezes in shock. And Bella knows that this could only mean trouble.

**Chapter 19 – Night companions**

Edward is in shock to hear that Bella has seen Aro before. It is then that Edward realizes that maybe Aro and Lauren have joined forces to create problems for Edward and Bella. With that thought he storms off to his office leaving a troubled Bella behind. Bella soon learns of Thea's distaste for Tanya, and accidentally finds out that Tanya and Edward had a relationship before Bella came into Edward's life. Bella is horrified and wonders if she was the reason behind their break-up. When Edward doesn't show up for dinner till late, Bella refuses to eat without him. Thea calls Edward up and he informs Bella that he will be late and she shouldn't wait for him. He also tells her that Aro has organized a party the next day, and that they both are invited. Bella flatly refuses, wondering how Edward can even think that she would ever want to see Aro. Edward explains that Aro invites couples together, and if Edward showed up without Bella it could make news. He tells her that he is sorry to bring it up and that he will come up with a good enough excuse. Bella gets upset because she feels she should support Edward by going to the party but she doesn't have the guts to. That night, Bella has a nightmare where Edward can't hear her because he's too lost in Tanya. She's scared, as she woken up by a frantic Edward. She clutches him tightly as she comes back to the present. After moments of awkwardness, they both part. Bella asks Edward about Tanya, and he answers honestly by telling Bella that they had an ugly break up. Tanya didn't want to break it off, but eventually it came down to the fact that they wanted different things from life. Edward realizes Bella has nightmares, and asks her what he can do to help. Bella asks him to stay with her at night, and is shocked when Edward moves his bedding to her room. He is mad at her that she couldn't express this need earlier and why she hesitates so much with him even though he's her husband! Bella smiles at Edward's petulance and whispers to him that she will join him at the party the next day. And for once, she falls asleep feeling happy, knowing she was safe, knowing he would hear her.

**Chapter 20 - A Night of Shocks**

The chapter starts with Bella describing the first night with Edward sleeping in her bedroom. And as she stares at him when drifiting in and out of sleep, she realizes he has his faults, but at the end of the day he is a good man. He appears more attractive to Bella as she notes the lack of stress on his face. During that night her sleep is restless, but at least nightmare free. Over the night she also worries about what Aro has planned for his party. The next morning Edward is gone by the time Bella wakes. What follows is an awkward, sort-of-cute phone call between the two which Thea acting as a match-maker arranges. Edward expresses how he is glad that Bella confided in him. Edward offers to take Bella shopping for a dress she would for the party. Edward arrives later than the agreed time, Bella is kind-of-mad. Edward apologizes and admits that something on the way back home caught his eye and he brought it for Bella. Bella is quite shocked, but secretly loves the fine royal blue dress. Edward automatically assumes Bella hates it and starts rambling. Bella silences him before assuring him that she absolutely loves it. Edward is smitten by how gorgeous and elegant Bella looks that evening. When they arrive at the venue of the party, Bella freaks out when she sees the sheer number of reporters outside the party hall. Edward calms her fears and asks for her trust. Trying to get rid of the paparazzi, Edward and Bella end up in the middle of a packed dance floor. Eventually, Bella loosens up a little and follows Edward's lead as the two dance. Tanya interupts, asking Edward for a dance. He refuses and Tanya gets upset that he is still thinking about their argument. She tells him that she's always wanted what's good for him and tonight he should focus on making a good impression on the Huntingtons (and to not let anything personal get to him). Later, Bella states that she thinks Tanya hates her, but Edward disagrees, telling Bella that Tanya has issues to deal with. Edward spots Aro later, and Aro looks at Bella in a way that makes Edward's blood boil. When Bella drags him away, he tells her that he is so sure Aro had a hand in all this mess and the Aro's look just confirmed it all for him. Edward and Bella cross paths with Aro again, but this time Aro provokes Edward. In anger, Edward sends Bella away. Bella ends up at a table where a cell phone is ringing. Seeing no one close by, she picks it up and gets the shock of her life when Lauren tells her face-to-face, "Long time no see."

**Chapter 21 - The Beginning of Intimacy**

The chapter starts with Lauren confronting Bella on the phone. Bella worried, ask her what she wants. Lauren replies that she wants everything that she lost because of E & B back. She implies that Bella has smartly trapped Edward in a relationship and that he won't put up with Bella's fake pretenses anymore. Futhermore, she also pridefully admits that she played a role in all the negative publicity and lies against Bella that were portrayed by the media. Lauren condescendingy states that Bella is nothing compared to Tanya, and it's a shame that Edward left her. Bella, in the heat of the moment, states Edward loves her. She strongly says that Lauren lost an honest employee and that she doesn't know how long she and Edward will last, but she knows she can always trust Edward with her life. Bella goes looking for Edward and finds him in the middle of a heated discussion with Aro in a parking lot. Aro hurts Edward's feelings by reminding him that he was born out of the wed-lock, and to get a rise out of him states that he resembles his mother. Edward gets angry and asks him to keep her out of this. Aro gets angry too and states that it is Edward's fault that his life was destroyed. To make things worse, Aro states that he knows what happened that night. And he admits that he was getting Edward followed, and Bella's attack just happened to be at one of these time. So Bella got dragged into this for nothing as it was Aro who made E & B's picture of that night public, she was merely a pawn. Bella interupts before things can get violent. On the way back home, Bella asks Edward if Aro is his father - he's not, replies Edward. But Edward shuts out and refuses to share his past with Bella when she questions him. Later that night, Bella hears a violent crash and rushes to find Edward in Elizabeth's room. She looks on at a potrait lof Elizabeth, striking in her beauty and grace but with a hint of desperation in her eyes. All with a striking resemblance to Edward. Edward is drunk, obviously upset at how Aro has used Bella. In the midst of it all, he admits to Bella that his mother enjoys watching him suffer and that's why he comes to the room on nights like this. Bella feels sickened and horrified at this, unable to comprehend how a mother could feel that way. Edward pushes Bella away, telling her that she shouldn't want him, that it is wrong. The next morning Edward is gone, but he has left evidence that he spent the night on Bella's couch, just like he had promised. Weeks pass and Edward becomes distant. Thea leaves due to her parent's illness. Bella cooks, clean, makes herself busy, but feels Edward drifting. One night, a horrible storm comes down of New York. Edward is terribly late and unapproachable on his cell. There is thunder and freezing rain, the lights go out too. Bella gets a horrific recollection of the night. Suffocated and in tears, she runs out of the house to escape the sheer agony that envelops her at that moment. Edward catches her in time, soothes her and tells her that she is safe. He helps her into a warm tub, where he joins her. He is a gentleman, and treats Bella with care and respect. Touched by it all, Bella surprises herself by kissing him. They are both surprised when Edward returns the kiss fervently.

**Chapter 22 – Closer**

The chapter begins with a kiss between Edward and Bella. Bella surprises herself by the urges she feels for Edward and describes her helplessness to give way to instincts. When she feels him withdraw, she grasps him tightly with her not being ready to let go. When Edward apologizes for his advances, Bella admits that she never wanted him to stop in the first place. In a typical Edward fashion, he claims how she has so much better in store for her and settling for him is not a compromise she should make. Edward also apologizes for the distance he has been keeping from Bella. When he leads her back to the bedroom, he urges her to take the bed. But Bella asks Edward to join her there, adamant that he need not occupy the couch in such weather. Bella sleeps in Edward's arms that night, and when she wakes in the middle of the night, she worries about Edward's emotional unstability and Aro's influence on the Huntington's deal which Edward is trying to secure too. However, she secretly rejoices the fact that Edward is no longer going to act aloof and distant around her. The next morning, Bella wakes up earlier than Edward and makes his breakfast. As they eat, Edward states how grateful he is for her trust in him. On the other hand, Bella states that she has decided to look into a library job close by. Edward gets upset because he doesn't see the need for Bella to get a job. This aggravates Bella's anger and she talks about the need for independence and the ability to support herself . This doesn't agree with Edward, but still he decides to support her in it. The following day, Edward walks Bella to her interview and also offers her a job at his company, but Bella declines because she doesn't want to be the lady who depends on her husband for work. The owner, Mrs. Cope, is awed by Bella's self-righteousness and honesty throughout the interview. Despite Bella being overqualified and the job lowly paid, she accepts Bella for the library position. Bella is ecstatic when she leaves, hardly able to control her desire to tell Edward but stops short when she hears Edward's angry voice. She is shocked to hear the Edward's family is coming over and Edward is clearly not looking forward to it.

**Chapter 23 – Awakening silence**

The chapter begins with Bella overhearing Edward's phone call. She learns that Edward's family is coming over and Edward seems upset about it. On questioning him, she discovers that they are coming to meet her. Bella feels nervous about this and Edward expresses his distrust for their true motives (of Carlisle and Edward's grandmother). Edward, being born outside a marriage and then adopted, has never felt like a true part of the family and doubts they will ever treat Bella right. Edward remembers about the interview, and is proud of Bella when he hears of the instant job offer. They celebrate Bella's new job, but when Edward arrives after work at night he appears dismayed. He tells her about the Huntington Company's new request for a presentation from both Aro's and Edward's companies before the final decision is made. Edward's company is not on as wide a scale as Aro's and so the resources he can invest on this project are limited. Bella consoles Edward, and assures him that all of his staff knows he is trying his best. At night, she urges him to not overwork himself and allows him to share the same bed as her. They have an argument where Bella tells Edward to stop shielding her, and that she can face his family. Bella awkwardly slides into first day at the job (Edward insists on dropping her at the library), gets comfy with Mrs. Cope and meets the first grade children she will be reading to. She rushes home to prepare dinner for the family. Bella meets the family in a calm, steady manner although she is nervous as hell. Esme is kind, welcoming, warm. Emmett is a lovable, huge guy with a friendly manner. Carlisle is polite, but his cool demeanor and sharp, scrutinizing eyes give Bella the chills. And Edward's grandmother…is hostile, but has a subtle way of showing it.

**Chapter 24 - Disguise**

The chapter begins with Bella and Edward having a minor argument about Bella's need for approval from Edward's family. Edward warns Bella that she's too naive and doesn't know what the Cullens are capable of. When Esme steps in to help with serving, the bell rings. The uninvited guest, Tanya, takes Bella by surprise. Tanya claims that 'she couldn't stop herself' from coming down to meet the Cullens. Bella, being the gracious host welcomes Tanya, but is hurt by Tanya's unexpected visit. The Cullens heartily welcome Tanya, and Bella feels that perhaps Tanya is better suited to the role of Edward's wife than her. When Tanya embraces Edward with the familiarity of a lover, Bella's heart breaks and she excuses herself. Edward follows Bella, but refuses to apologize because he never invited Tanya over. He reassures Bella that he doesn't harbor any romantic feelings for Tanya. They have a romantic scene where Edward kisses Bella and they are momentarily taken aback by the their passion for each other. When they return back to the living room, Esme and Emmett tease Edward and Bella about their sudden disappearance. Tanya only becomes more persistent in her efforts. When Edward pulls a chair out for Bella, Tanya instantly takes the seat. Bella feels humiliated and hurt that although Edward is clearly angry, he refuses to question Tanya's actions. To make matters worse, Francine (Edward's grandmother) treats Bella like a maid by asking her to warm up the food again. Edward, reaching his limit, swears and verbally lashes out on Francine. In retort, Francine questions Bella's upbringing and claims that Bella doesn't meet their family standards. Edward is infuriated and grabs Bella's hand before heading towards the door. Tanya stops him, stating the they need to talk. Edward calmly states that the only person he wants to be with right now is his wife, Bella. And with that he walks out.

**Chapter 25-Broken Dreams**

The chapter starts with a little argument between Bella and Edward due to preceding confrontation. Edward apologizes for Tanya's behavior and his lack of response to her instigating comments. He explains that she has been having panic attacks since they broke up. He explains that he keeps excusing her behavior because she's always been there when he needed her. They reach Edward's apartment and share an intimate scene in their bedroom. They settle in comfortably for the night and the following morning Bella marvels at the ease she feels in her relationship with Edward. Bella asks Edward about the meeting with Hutchinsons and is worried to hear that it is on the day after. He explains that he had the deal initially, but because Aro stepped in...things got messed up. Aro and Edward are competing for the deal and each must present their plans and only one will be chosen. Edward avoids answering Bella's questions about why Aro is doing this. At work, Bella converses with one of the school teachers that visits the library with the children. The teacher is loud and in shock, she pretty much announces that Bella is Edward Cullen's wife. That night, Edward is late. He gets into an argument with Bella again; he wants Bella to stop worrying about him but Bella stresses that she is his wife. Edward apologizes the next morning before going for his meeting. Mid-day, he returns to Bella's office. Edward has lost the deal. Bella holds Edward, all the while promising herself that they would both get through this.

**A/N: Sorry about the grammar and spelling errors, I typed this as fast as I could and it isn't beta'd.**

**IMPORTANT: All the next chapters will have summaries here.**


	17. Chapter 16 – Becoming Mrs Cullen Part 1

**Hi guys,**

**It's been a while, but here is the next chapter. Loved your reviews, many of you are new…so welcome, I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.**

**The summary for chapter 15 is posted in the 'summaries' chapter.  
**

**Sorry to keep you guys waiting too long – exams, moving places. Hope that says it all. If not, my back hurts really bad from carrying boxes**

**So thanks again to my wonderful betas, OTD673 and Nijiska who managed to help me through the treacherous early December period.**

* * *

Recap:

_"Bed," he pointed. When I was thinking of protesting again, he glared. I huffed and walked to the bedroom. "Frustrating men," I grumbled under my breath._

_And I couldn't be sure, but I thought I heard a chuckle behind me._

**Chapter 16 – Becoming Mrs. Cullen Part 1**

The next morning welcomed me as I opened my eyes to see the bright sunlight streaming through the curtains. I closed my eyes again, enjoying the warmth settling on my eyelids, digging my face into the pillow and inhaling deeply to absorb some more of the wonderful scent. It was only then that I realized through the sleep induced fog where I was.

I shot up in the bed, and my gaze wandered to the bedside clock. 11:30 a.m. Oh no! I never slept in that long. Overly mortified, I apprehensively stepped out of the bedroom. Some things just had to be faced. I cringed as I knocked one of the metal decoration pieces on the floor and it met the floor with a loud clang.

Walking into the living room, I stopped short at the sight that met me.

Fresh and dressed, Edward typed away on his laptop furiously with an interesting set of dark frames settling around his eyes. I was surprised he hadn't heard me come in. I shifted from one foot to another. _Should I disturb, should I not disturb?_ My dilemma didn't last too long as Edward looked up abruptly, his gaze intense and unnerving.

Feeling out of sorts, I mumbled a quick "hello."

Edward gave me a sharp nod and stood up. He stared at me square in the eyes as he carefully mentioned his plans.

"I've made the arrangements. Franco…my right hand man, has organized for us to be married tomorrow."

My breath escaped my lungs. "Tomorrow?"

Edward nodded firmly. "I've given much thought to what you have said. I agree, it makes more sense to do this the way you suggested."

"How…so soon?" I stammered, feeling shocked and suddenly not so sure of myself.

"There is no point delaying. I really must get back, so if you haven't changed your mind, I'd like for us to do this tomorrow. And I've booked our flights immediately after the ceremony."

"But that's just one day?" I whispered. This was going too fast.

Edward drew his eyebrows together as if something didn't make sense. "I thought you didn't want to wait," he asked, confused.

I blinked. Yes, I didn't want to, but I most certainly hadn't envisioned myself as a married woman in a day.

Nor had I suspected that Seattle was my home for only one more day.

Maybe this was for the best.

"Yes, you're right," I heard my voice say as reality shifted into focus. "Tomorrow," I repeated in acquiescence.

"Good, do you think you'll have enough time to pack?" Edward asked, ushering me towards the kitchen. The table was set up. I nodded in response to his question as my mind calculated.

"Bella, this is a private affair. However, if you would like to invite anyone, feel free to do so," he said as he offered me a plate.

"Yes," I replied quietly as my thoughts crept back to Charlie and Jasper. I would call them, ask them to come to the wedding. _But would they?_

No, probably not. I'd be all by myself. Maybe that's exactly what I deserved. Either way, I'd still call.

After all, they were all I had.

"Where are we getting married?" I asked, strangely calm.

"There is a small church near the countryside. It's by the river. It's peaceful and quiet." His voice was light and far away.

I hummed in quiet contemplation as I picked a pancake. I had never pegged him as the religious type.

Together we ate in companiable silence. My thoughts ran at miles per hour. I had to go to see Jazz today, I would never be able to leave after the argument we had. He may be upset, but I could never leave without saying goodbye. I had accepted what would happen tomorrow, but I couldn't knock off that clenching in my heart that made me feel unbearably lonely.

Was this marriage going to cost me my strongest relationships?

Perhaps there was nothing left to lose. I smiled grimly at the thought.

"If you'd like, I could drop you off. The car got back earlier this morning," Edward stated as he stood up.

"Yes, that would be nice," I replied. Time to pack up.

~x~x~x~x~

The drive was heavy on details. Edward explained all the necessities I would need before I left for New York. He breezed through the flight information, and all the official documentation that we would need.

I barely caught onto his words as the nerves struck me like lightning. This really was it, I was really doing this. As the car slowed to a stop, Edward turned to me, "I'll pick you up at 9 a.m. tomorrow."

"No," I shook my head. "I'd like to come by myself."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bella. I wouldn't want you to catch the reporters by any chance," Edward said quietly.

"I won't," I reassured him. When I saw he would protest again, I hurried to express myself.

"Edward, please just…" I sighed. "I only have tomorrow to myself. Try to understand…I'd like to drive myself to the church."

Edward grudgingly agreed, although his face cleared showed he wasn't happy about it.

I began to remove the suit jacket he had lent me, but he halted my movements. "Keep it," he said softly. I blinked rapidly, and as I turned to leave, he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella-"

I shifted back and looked at him curiously, "Yes?"

His gaze turned from his hands to my face, and I felt an inexplicable urge to look away. His stare was too strong to let go, so my eyes stayed on his face.

"Bella, I…I know you're scared. I can see that you're worried, and I know it's hard to trust me," he stated factually then sighed before murmuring, "Not that I have done a good job at earning your trust so far. I'm erratic, unpredictable and rude. I know that-"

When he saw I was going to interrupt, he continued, "No, don't. Just let me get this out. I'm not a perfect guy, I never said I was, but I do know how to respect a woman," he said with such an earnest expression that my breath caught in my throat.

"I just want you to know that. I'll stand behind you…I'll always protect you-" he stopped short suddenly before groaning. Rubbing his face in agitation, he mumbled a low "I'm talking too much."

I smiled at him vainly as I tried to catch my equilibrium, "Actually, that's the only time I've really heard you really talk," I said, partly amused and partly relieved to see him trying to at least make some effort to communicate.

He stared at the ceiling of the car, away from me. "Yeah, I'm not all that big on talking," he muttered. "One last thing," he frowned at some unpleasant thought, "I wouldn't expect anything from you." I noticed color rising in his cheeks.

I shot him a confused look, _what did that mean?_ Edward took a deep breath, "I just wanted you to know that we'll have separate rooms," he said, cringing and looking away.

Even I had to look away at that. I hadn't even thought so far. Thank God for one of us was thinking.

"Right. Thank you," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks flare with embarrassment. Could this get anymore awkward? Without waiting for a response, I leapt out of the car, practically running into the building entrance.

~x~x~x~x~

I folded the last pile of clothes for packing. I dumped it into the large suitcase lying on the floor beside the bed. I collapsed backward on the bed with a huff, toeing my shoes away. I looked at my wide white ceiling, turning my face to stare at the idle cordless phone sitting on my side table.

I reached across to retrieve it, dialed Charlie's number and put the phone to my ear. I rolled on to my stomach to quench the nervousness budding deep below. This was not a conversation I was looking forward to.

"Bella?" Charlie's surprised yet gruff voice broke through the silence.

"Dad," I said because I didn't know what else to say. I closed my eyes tightly, bracing myself for what coming.

The silence was not what I had expected. I cracked one eye open, then the other as we both remained quiet.

"Aren't you going to say something, dad?" I whispered.

"What do you want me to say?" He said in a sad voice filled with such longing that I wanted to reach out and grasp his hand. So I decided to say my part.

"Dad, I'm so sorry - I should have never spoken to you like that." I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from just freely expressing the guilt.

"You never said anything but the truth." And it was all wrong, wrong in every way. He was so passive, but even then I couldn't find the strength to deny that statement. I loved him…I truly did, but that didn't mask the fact that he hadn't been there for me.

Thankfully, he decided to open up slightly. "I had no right to call you out on how you should have acted. Who am I to ask?" He gave a small laugh, choking on it.

"Don't say that. Charlie, things have been so hard…I've not been myself in so long."

"I wish I could help," he said with heartfelt sincerity.

"I wish you could." I replied, clearly hearing the regret in my voice. My problems would only be mine. Charlie couldn't help…maybe there was a time when he could have. It was too late now.

"I read the papers," he began in a low whisper. I knew what was coming, my back stiffened as my protective instincts kicked in.

"What are you doing, kid?" Just the way he said "kid," broke my heart a little and I crumbled onto the bed.

"Just let me be, Dad," I pleaded. _I don't want to fight. I haven't even dropped the bomb yet._

"Give me another chance, I'll make everything right," he tried again. "You don't need to marry someone to solve this."

"I can't." The two words were the only answer I had for him. And then I said what had to be said.

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

I heard Charlie suck in a sharp breath. "Bella, what-"

"Absolutely not!" He was furious, I could tell.

"Charlie-"

"No, Bella." This was such a bad idea.

"Charlie, I don't want to argue. I'm leaving Seattle tomorrow. Please-"

"Bella, have you lost my mind?" His voice was trembling, and I knew he was upset.

"Dad, just don't. I'm a big girl…I know what I'm doing. I just have one last request…will you come tomorrow?" I asked with far too much hope in my voice.

And I was rewarded by the click of the phone as Charlie blocked me out.

~x~x~x~x~

As I got dressed, I tried not to revisit the conversation I had with Charlie. I tried not to stare at my face, but it was hard to stop, the contrast was astonishing. The pale girl staring back at me didn't seem like the same person anymore. I had gotten lost somewhere along the way. Besides being terribly pale, the weight I had lost screamed in my reflection. My face seemed to be the same proportions, but my shirt was far too loose. I hated to admit it, but I felt sorry for myself. All in all, I looked miserable.

I cowered away from the girl in the mirror, and hurriedly turned and walked out, heading out of the building to Jasper's place. Jazz lived close by in a small space across the street. Reaching the door, I tapped it hesitantly. A very ruffled Jazz opened the door. "Bella?" He asked with confusion, wiping his paint stained fingers on a cloth.

"Come in," he said a moment later, recovering from his surprise at my unexpected visit

"You didn't visit today," I stated with a quiet tinge of regret. Jazz met my eyes defiantly, and sure enough I saw his anger again.

"No. I didn't," he replied without moving his gaze away. After a beat he spoke again, "I thought I had made myself clear yesterday."

I pushed my hands into my pockets, looking at the floor as he moved to continue to paint. I glanced up to see his face taut with concentration as his hands furiously moved across the painting.

"Bella, I'm busy," he said, his voice quiet. As if possible, I shrunk more in the place I stood.

"I have something to tell you," I whispered, looking up to see his gaze meet mine over the painting. He looked down again, continuing what he was doing.

"Jazz, I-" My voice stopped in my throat. I swallowed and tried again, "I'm getting married tomorrow."

His hands paused before resuming their angry paint strokes. His eyes never wavered from the piece in front of him, but the tightening of his mouth, the dulling of the fire in his eyes gave him away.

"I'm leaving Seattle tomorrow," I said. His pained eyes met mine, and I sensed the imperceptible shake of his head as he lowered his eyes again. I swallowed again, rubbing my hands together.

"I came to say goodbye." My voice broke a little. Jazz wiped his hands with the cloth and sat on the couch.

"Bella, please come here," he began softly, patting the space next to him. When I was seated next to him, I heard him take a deep breath. I interrupted before he could discourage me.

"Please don't, Jazz. You can't change my mind. I've made my decision." He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. He shook his head, looking at me with his deep, sorrowful eyes.

"No, Bella. _I'm_ sorry. I couldn't be a better friend. I should have helped you more so that you wouldn't end up like this, but I failed," he said, intertwining his fingers as his head bowed in shame.

"You are the best I could ever ask for," I said, grasping his hand and squeezing it. "It's destiny, Jazz. No one can change it."

"There still is time," he said, a pleading quality to his voice, I silenced him with a sad look. No, there was no going back now.

"Will you come tomorrow to…to my wedding?" I asked, hoping for a positive answer. I couldn't get through it without a friend by my side. When I looked at him again, his expression gave me his answer. He wasn't going to come.

"No," he whispered, his eyes clouding as he turned his face away so that I wouldn't see. "I can't watch you step into a life I never wanted for you. I couldn't bear it. I'm sorry, Bella."

I looked forward, steeling myself. "I guess I should get going." I stood up, putting on my coat again.

"Bella-" Jazz started desperately.

"I understand, Jazz." _I understand that I have no one anymore. _Jazz moved closer to me, and when I saw he was going to hug me, I stepped back instinctively, holding my hands up to shield me. As if it was ever possible, his face fell even more.

"I'll miss you," he whispered, all his defenses coming loose.

"I'll miss you too," I whispered back, turning away before the wetness in my eyes could spill over. And then I walked away, leaving my only friend standing alone on the porch.

~x~x~x~x~

With each step I took, the weakness grew more and more. The darkness hovered close by, dampening my strength. It was getting dark now, and it was my last night as Bella Swan.

Tomorrow, I would be Bella Cullen.

The thought echoed through my head, so loud that it was deafening. I began running to stop the thoughts, the noise, but they were relentless, growing louder and more frequent. So I ran faster. Eventually, my feet failed me, and I slumped against a red brick wall, breathing heavily and feeling the rough texture of the bricks on my fingertips. With my mind spinning with exertion, I glanced up to see a bar across the street, and my decision was made.

Suddenly, getting drunk sounded like a really good idea.

With a sardonic smile, I headed towards my idea of a bachelorette night: The first time I got drunk.

The bar was hardly the dingy and depressed place I had thought it would be. The interior was pretty impressive with polished surfaces, flashing lights and a sophisticated crowd. Mostly casual, I guessed. Stepping over one of the bar stools, I took a seat and waved the bar tender over.

"Good evening, Ma'am. How may I help you?" He asked, with an impossibly wide smile.

"I'd like to have a drink," I said meekly, feeling like a child who was doing something terribly wrong. For heaven's sake, I was twenty two.

"Of course, ma'am. Which one?" He asked with same ridiculous smile still glued on his face.

I faltered. I didn't know much about drinks. "Something strong," I decided with resolve. _Something that can make me forget._

The bar tender flashed another grin before stepping away. My eyes wandered back to the bar, most people appeared to be in groups that were celebrating. And then there were those few, those who sat hidden in corners, in the shadows, drinking to down their despairs.

"Ma'am." I turned to the bar tender who placed the drink in front of me. I dubiously stared at the amber liquid. Then without a second thought, I picked it up and swallowed a mouthful of the terrible liquid.

My eyes widened as I took in the strange, sort of repulsive yet rich taste. I took another exploratory sip, and then deciding against caution downed the rest of the liquid. I rested my cheek on my palm as the minutes passed, and I stared at the dimming lights. I felt some heat rush to my face, and it felt so good in the cool air blowing through the doors. I impulsively raised my finger and signaled to the bar tender. "One more," I mouthed over the music. He smiled knowingly, and then turned to prepare the drink.

In matter of minutes, I had consumed two more of the drinks. I could feel the thoughts slipping away, my mind dissolving in the warmth surrounding me. It was too good to pass up. And I felt a silly urge to declare my marriage to the whole world. Standing on the bar stool feet supports, barely balancing myself, I tapped a spoon on my glass, the chinking noise spreading through the bar.

The crowd had changed substantially, gone were the casual groups. The people that stared back at me were clearly here for a different purpose. Not casual at all, more like brooding.

I smiled, before clinking the spoon to the glass again. I breathed deeply before starting. "Ladies and gentleman, I want to make a toast. I would like you all to know that I'm getting married tomorrow."

The part of the crowd that was not too inebriated to understand broke into applause, hooting and clapping. Raising my glass, almost tripping in the process, I continued, "Here's to a life of freedom," I said loudly, thinking of what this marriage would bring to me. Freedom from the press, from the scrutiny, from all the negative attention.

The crowd cheered, raising their glasses in acquiescence. "Here's to an escape," I continued. The people cheered louder, applauding. And then I whispered the last bit.

"Here's to a marriage of convenience."

I smiled to myself. No one had heard the most important part. That's what Edward wanted, didn't he? Secrecy was everything for him. To be careful, to watch every step.

I tipped my head back and swallowed the rest of the drink. _To hell with being careful_, I thought recklessly, closing my eyes as the liquid slid down my throat.

I felt a movement behind me. I shouldn't have turned, but I did. And then my eyes met the furious, green ones I had learnt way too well.

Even in my inebriated condition, I knew. I knew he had heard everything.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry folks, had to stop at that. One, it was a pretty awesome point to stop. Two, this chapter was going to end up being too long. Three, I wrote this one in the middle of the exams, so any point looked good enough to stop.**

**So what do you think…will Bella have last minute thoughts? Will Edward? Will the press break in and wreck everything? Will Lauren Mallory be the maid of honor?**

**(The last one was a joke.)**

**Come and share your thoughts on the thread, the link is available on my profile. The teasers are posted there.  
**

**I won't make you guys wait too long. So don't make me wait too long and press that review button. A few words would be mighty good. Besides, Bella getting drunk…would really like to hear about that one.**


	18. Chapter 16 – Becoming Mrs Cullen Part 2

**Hello there!**

**Sorry to keep you guys waiting for so long. Honestly, I had planned to have this ready earlier. But…it was a pretty crazy chapter to write. For a while, I didn't even know how to do it. So fortunately, here it is, thanks to queen betas, Nijiska and OTD673. **

**Thanks for the reviews, I loved each and every one of them, I'm glad you guys are still reading. Unfortunately, I am in the middle of exams. Again. Hence, I didn't get to reply to your reviews. Sorry, things are really rough right now. **

**Phew, go ahead and read. I'm sure you've been waiting for this one. **_**Oh, and I'll post up the summaries for the previous chapter and EPOV in a few hours (just on my way home right now).

* * *

**_

**Recap:**

_"Here's to a marriage of convenience."_

_I smiled to myself. No one had heard the most important part. That's what Edward wanted, didn't he? Secrecy was everything for him. To be careful, to watch every step._

_I tipped my head back and swallowed the rest of the drink. __To hell with being careful__, I thought recklessly, closing my eyes as the liquid slid down my throat._

_I felt a movement behind me. I shouldn't have turned, but I did. And then my eyes met the furious, green ones I had learnt way too well._

_Even in my inebriated condition, I knew. I knew he had heard everything._

**Becoming Mrs. Cullen Part 2**

I closed my eyes. He couldn't be here, he just couldn't. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and turned around.

Still very much there, Edward glared. I glanced behind him and the parting in the crowd to make space for him was very much evident. When my eyes returned to his, he looked positively ready to combust.

"What are you doing here?" I asked warily, feeling my euphoria fading. He surprised me by planting a gentle kiss on my cheek, whispering in my ear.

"I sure hope you have a good enough explanation." Moving back to a comfortable distance, he flashed a charming grin before speaking.

"How could I not? Couldn't let you celebrate without me," he said loudly, winking. _What?_

At my bemused expression, he threw a casual arm around my shoulders, kissing my hair before speaking, "Smile, Bella. We are going to be here for a while."

"One _Armagnac_," he said to the waiter. The good-natured waiter grinned, replying, "Coming right up."

Edward helped me on to a stool before taking the one beside me. I looked behind me to see a few curious gazes fixed on us. Moving closer to him, I hissed. "What are you doing?"

Edward glanced at me before looking straight up ahead. A smile curved on his lips.

"You know, that should be my line." He replied, not even slightly disturbed by the attention directed towards us. Taking the drink from the waiter, he took a sip.

"So tell me," he spoke in a low voice, "this is a marriage of convenience to you, hmm?"

"I didn't mean for you to hear that." I blushed at my forwardness.

"It doesn't change that I did." He pinned me with an intense gaze, his eyes darker in the dim lights. "So?"

Frustrated at his persistence, I clapped my palms on the counter. "Why do you want me to say it?" I stared at him angrily. "You and I both know it."

Leaning forward, I whispered harshly in his ear, "I am fed up, Edward. That's it. I can't stand another second in this city anymore. Charlie's done with with me and Jazz can't be my friend anymore."

I moved back, looking away. "Do you still need another reason?" I asked, searching his eyes, challenging him.

I was surprised when he replied with a "No."

We were both quiet then. I rested my chin on my folded arms as Edward sipped his drink.

"It's funny isn't it?" I asked Edward, turning my face in his direction, still resting on my forearms.

"What?" Edward asked curiously.

"How fast your life can change." I said quietly. "Take me as an example." I sat up and gestured to myself.

"It seems just like just yesterday that I was working, happy…had a great friend - and look at me today." I let out a laugh, seeing only sheer absurdity. "Tomorrow, I'm getting married to a man who I have no clue about."

It suddenly seemed so funny and silly that I starting laughing in the earnest. Isabella Cullen. Who would have thought? Loud, deep laughs rang out over the music that made my stomach tighten, but I couldn't seem to stop. Somewhere, I sensed that Edward had become very quiet.

It was all so unreal; I couldn't remember the last time I had let myself go like this. Perhaps it was very long ago with Renee. Now, the laughter brought tears to my eyes. Strangely, they stung.

I didn't know when the laughter became something else. Something that hurt more, something that brought that dreadful night from months ago back again. All I could think of was how much I had lost in the course of just two months.

A father. A friend.

My life.

I was vaguely aware that a very warm palm touched mine and drew me away from all the noise and darkness that the bar had become.

Out in the cool air, I sucked in a deep breath, shuddering yet still unable to stop.

"Oh God," I pressed my fingers into my watery eyes. "What's wrong with me?" I cried.

Edward quickly enveloped me in his arms, drawing his warm wool coat around both of us. Stroking my hair, he murmured quietly, repeatedly. "Everything's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

So deprived, I felt my arms lift to embrace him, and I moved deeper into the comfort he provided. He kept repeating the soothing words and I clung like my life depended on him. On his words.

When he felt that I had calmed enough, he removed his coat and put it on me. Tired and wasted, I didn't even bother protesting. He led us out onto the walking path. After the initial contact was broken, he didn't touch me again. Appearing deep in thought, he matched the slow pace of my drunken footsteps.

Deciding I couldn't take the silence anymore, I moved towards him, wrapping both my arms firmly around his bicep. I felt his surprise, but he quickly resumed walking. Feeling slightly drowsy, I let my head lean against his shoulder.

The rest of the way back home seemed much shorter.

~x~x~x~x~

"How…did you…know?" I mumbled as I fetched my keys from my handbag. Edward shook his head, took the bag from me and began searching for the keys himself.

"Know what?" He muttered, rummaging through the bag.

"Where I was!" I exclaimed. "For some strange reason, you seem to find me in the most terrible of situations." I look at him expectantly, but he was too involved in finding the keys.

Edward finally found the key and unlocked the door. Looking up at me, he shot me an angry look. "Well, you should be thankful that I do. Some danger magnet you are."

Turning around, he walked into my apartment. I narrowed my eyes at his retreating back and followed him inside.

"And just for the record, I could have been there for a drink," he said, raising his eyebrows challengingly while leaning on the wall.

I scowled at him, and then worked on removing on my shoes. Apparently, that was a really bad idea, because every time I bent down to remove my shoe, my head started swimming. Edward chuckled in the background, then moved closer and bent down on his knees to untie my laces.

"Bella, just do us both a favor and hang on to my shoulders, okay?" He asked, looking slightly amused.

"You think this is funny?" I asked indignantly, though I complied by bending down to hold his shoulders.

Edward just shook his head, pressing his lips together but his eyes shone with mischief. I stood there, slightly dazed before blinking out of whatever trance I had fell into. Gently, he removed my shoes without disturbing my delicate balance. Once he stood up, he put his arm around me.

"Where's your bedroom?" He asked. Still slightly miffed, I hesitantly pointed him to the right direction. When he tried to lead me towards the room, I awkwardly hung back. Why did he want to know where my bedroom was?

He stared meaningfully at me, and with a resigned a sigh I followed him. Once in the room, he pulled back the covers and helped me get into the bed. It was such a tempting idea that I didn't even bother putting up a fight. After pulling the covers up to my neck, he began switching off the extra lights. When he came to the lamp on the bedside table, I touched his forearm. Pausing, he turned towards me, tilting his head in question.

"Are you going to go?" I asked, despising how my voice sounded so needy.

Edward's eyes softened. He shook his head before replying, "No, I'll be around." Switching off the bedside light, he pressed a kiss to my forehead, whispering, "Sleep, Bella."

~x~x~x~x~

Gentle hands shook me awake. "Wake up, Bella." I groaned, pushing my face further in the pillow, but the person was relentless.

"We don't have much time; you really need to get up." When I finally realized it was Edward, I groaned again.

"Looks like someone is having a hangover," Edward said sarcastically, but his amusement was apparent. As the night came back to me with the force of a tidal wave, I closed my eyes. Mortified didn't do justice to how I was feeling. I was rather tempted to bang my head against the headboard.

Sighing, I opened my eyes to see him sitting beside me, a small smile on his lips. I blushed as I remembered my highly inappropriate behavior yesterday night.

"I'm so sorry about yesterday," I croaked, feeling how dry my throat was.

"I'm not. I've hardly seen you talk so freely since I met you," he said, looking me straight in the eyes. He ran a hand through his hair before continuing, "Besides, there is no news regarding last night."

"Oh," I replied, not knowing what more to say, though I was thankful that my slip hadn't caused us any further problems.

He angled his body towards mine, his eyes suddenly more intense and worried. "Bella, drinking isn't going to solve your problems."

I looked down, slightly ashamed for him to find me the way he did. He moved back, clearing his throat. "Anyway, we have to get to church in two hours so you better get dressed."

Leaving it at that, he strode out of the room while I felt the soft sheets crumble in my hands.

_Two hours_, my mind repeated as I buried my face in my knees. Two hours was all I had.

~x~x~x~x~

**EPOV**

"I don't want you there," I repeated angrily on the phone, precariously balancing it on my shoulder as I fixed my white collar.

"Edward, please. I just -" Alice pleaded. "I just want to be there for you. You've always been by yourself; let me be there for you today."

"I don't need anyone there. Franco will be there if I need anything. Don't make a big affair out of this, Alice. You have a habit of blowing things out of proportion," I said harshly, pulling my jacket on. I decided to leave the tie out; it was hard enough to get the knot right.

"No matter what you think, Edward, the truth doesn't change. And the truth is that Bella is becoming a part of our family. You didn't even bother telling Ma and Pa. Do you realize how they will react?" Alice questioned, all self-righteous.

Carlisle. I held back a laugh. Was Alice really that blind?

However, thinking of Esme brought regret. Yes, I probably should have told her, but she really didn't need to be part of this appearance. Esme would never bless this marriage if she knew the true reasons behind it. Besides, it was just a 'marriage of convenience' as Bella put it so eloquently. Thinking back to her words was like facing a harsh reality. True, yet bitter.

"Edward?" Alice asked when I didn't respond. "Edward, please for Bella's sake. Don't you think she deserves more?"

Life rarely gave you what you deserved, I wanted to say, but then I thought about Bella. Beautiful, innocent Bella who was subjected to such cruelty. And today, she was marrying me. A total stranger. She deserved so much better. Someone better…

Not me.

Lord knows I wanted to be better for her, but some goods were damaged beyond repair, I thought with a bitter smile. Frustrated by my thoughts and Alice, I finally gave in.

"Do what you have to, Alice. I have enough to worry about. Just be considerate about Bella."

Shutting the phone, I sat on the bed, grasping my hair tightly. Fuck. I really didn't want to drag Bella into a marriage if she didn't want to be a part of it. She was so helpless, so scared, so young…the situation was forcing her to marry a man ten years older than her. Who in their right mind would do that in today's world?

But then she didn't have anyone right now. She needed me, I had to get her out of this mess. And I knew, only I could pull off what I had planned.

"Edward." Bella's timid voice called. I took in a deep breath, closing my eyes to calm the fuck down. She really didn't need to see this. Opening my eyes, I looked up and…

…time stopped.

Her dress was very simple, white with elbow length sleeves and a modest skirt that went beyond her knees. Not something fancy or dressy a woman her age would have normally selected. Yet, no one had ever looked so utterly beautiful in my eyes.

In the warm sunlight coming through, Bella blinked, and her big, brown eyes stared at me with so much trust that it was staggering. No one had ever looked at me like that. In her white dress, she was so pure, so untainted…almost like a fallen angel. I knew in that moment that I had to do what I could.

"Edward?" Bella repeated, the pale skin of her cheeks flushing under my steady gaze.

"Hmmm," I said, still unable to move to my eyes even though I knew I was making her uncomfortable.

"Edward …I was thinking that we should get moving. There is only an hour until the time for the ceremony," she said, her eyes anxiously jumping between my face and the wall behind.

"Oh." I looked down at my watch. "Yes, we should get going. Franco should be here any minute."

True to form, Franco arrived within a few minutes. When I went down to receive him, I was surprised to see his tired appearance. After shaking hands, he patted my back.

"Loaded you with work, haven't I?" I asked. In my absence, Franco had taken up my duties in addition to his own.

"I'm doing fine. Trust me, raising you has prepared me for just about any challenge in this world," he said, mockingly wiping his head.

I chuckled thinking back to my rebellious years and the hellion that I was. Running into trouble just about every day, I had given enough trouble to poor Franco, who had to make sure the infamous Masen heir didn't get caught.

"You're really going with this, aren't you?" Franco asked with his calm, serious eyes. And just like that the humor was gone.

"Yes," I said, sending an icy look his way. I really wasn't willing to get into a row with him about this.

"Damn," he chuckled, "You're the most stubborn person I've ever known. Once you have your mind set, you get what you want to." I smiled thinly; glad to see he wasn't going to interfere with my decisions. Right now was just not the time or place.

"So where is she? I can't tell you how eager I've been to meet her," he said with his kind eyes.

"She's just completing some formalities regarding the apartment, the one I was telling you about," I replied, glancing back at the building entrance and then back at my watch. We had to be at the church in forty-five minutes.

Soon, Franco filled me in on the status of some of our most important dealings.

"Well, things are coasting fairly smoothly with Electrics Unlimited. Mr. Zanseliberg is finally loosening up and starting to trust us. Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with…" Franco paused, peering curiously over my shoulder before a sly smile spread on his face.

"What?" I said, agitated by the interruption.

"That's her, isn't it?" He said, nodding behind me.

Turning, I spotted Bella eyeing Franco speculatively. Moving towards her, I placed a hand on her back. Moving towards Franco, I b**e**gan introducing them.

"Bella, this is -" Before I could continue, Franco interrupted.

"Franco. Short for Francis Hae-young. It's a pleasure," he smiled warmly, extending his hand in welcome. Bella cautiously slipped her hand into his with a meek smile as they regarded each other in silence.

"Well, let's get moving," I said, breaking the silence. After, getting Bella seated in the back, I moved forward, glancing back. "You coming?" I asked, frowning at him.

"She's exactly what I thought she would be like," he said with that uncanny knowing look, before moving into the car leaving me standing in confusion.

The drive to the church was dreadfully quiet, maybe it was just the fact that we both knew exactly what we were heading towards. Bella shifted continuously in the back seat, her innocent eyes trained on the world outside. I wanted to diffuse the tension by discussing work further, but for the life of me I couldn't think of a single thing to say. Franco sensibly held his tongue throughout the drive and for that I was grateful.

Bella and I were being practical, I told myself. Creating a plan and executing it with careful precision would guarantee success.

Only this success would eventually part our paths. Forever.

I pinched the bridge of my nose to dispel my meaningless thoughts. We were consenting adults, and the decision was mutual and rational. Second thoughts held no place in my book, and I wasn't going to change that starting today. Crossing my arms, I stared forward directly into the harsh sunlight.

When we reached the church, Alice was waiting. Alice smiled carefully at Bella and moved to embrace her, but Bella never lifted her arms to return the embrace. Instead, in a low voice she said, "Excuse me," before stepping out of Alice's arms. From that moment on, Bella grew more distant with every passing second.

As Bella retreated further into herself, I felt my anger towards her father and Jasper build. They should have shown their faces, even if it was for a little while. After all that Bella had gone through, the least they could have done would be to show some compassion. However, apparently their selfish feelings had taken precedence over her happiness.

"Edward," Alice said quietly, "I'll walk Bella down the aisle." I merely nodded, reminded again that our marriage was far from conventional. Inside, it stung to know that I couldn't give Bella what she needed.

"Bella," I heard a male voice say. Turning around, I saw a very shocked Bella staring up at none other than Jasper Hale.

**BPOV**

I sat on the last bench in the church as Edward and Alice talked quietly while Franco made sure everything was ready. Closing my eyes, I intertwined my fingers, praying silently that I would get through this ceremony, that I would have what it took to make such a substantial commitment. I missed Jazz and Charlie, but I could never have blamed either one of them.

Every once in a while, Edward would glance in my direction; worry creasing his forehead as though he could sense the storm rising in my mind. I clamped my hands tighter together. It was just a matter of mere minutes after all.

I was focusing on steadying by rapidly beating heart when I heard the voice I had grown up hearing.

I looked up, hope bursting in my heart. Ruffled hair, untidy suit but still there he was. I stared, dumbfounded.

"Um, I'm not sure what to say," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "but I'll settle for Hi." For a minute, I almost forgot the current situation.

"You came," I whispered, awed. He shrugged, looking everywhere but at me. "Yeah, yeah. Okay, now change the topic."

I smiled knowing he wasn't the best when it came to expressing himself. "Well, thanks," I said, a quiet moment of understanding passing between us.

Jazz's eyes found Alice instantly, who stood by herself at the other end of aisle. She smiled at him, but he only politely nodded.

"I'm glad someone remembered the date of the wedding." We both turned at the sound of Edward's voice, who was sending a look towards Jasper that was at best described as unpleasant.

Jazz wasn't impressed. Walking towards Edward, he stopped a few steps short of reaching him. They both stared each other down in ill-concealed hostility. "I'm not here to fight," Jasper started calmly. "I'm here only for Bella. Just stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

Edward sharply nodded, side-stepping him before looking back at Jazz. "Let's get started."

The ceremony finally started. Jazz walked me down the aisle, holding my hand firmly around his arm. Not for a minute did he show his disapproval or the anger that he had tucked away carefully.

I had thought he would try to lighten the mood by joking about my balance and likelihood of me surviving the walk. Sadly, he did no such thing - he was unusually quiet. I had been his friend long enough to know why.

He had told me once that I was walking over to the dark side by marrying Edward. That he didn't want to be a part of a ceremony where I threw my life away recklessly. It was sad that he didn't see what Edward was for me - the only light at the end of the tunnel.

I blinked at the wooden floor again as my feet advanced. The church was old, the funny thing was that I hadn't realized till today that I had been here before with none other than Renee Swan. I could still hear my faint footsteps echoing around the walls as Renee showed me the church. I remembered sitting on the same bench as I had today. I shut my eyes to stop myself from replaying those bittersweet memories, of those soft hands in my hair, of those sparkling blues eyes that smiled kindly down at me.

Too soon, Jazz dragged me to a halt. I stared at Edward's gray jacket, unable to meet his eyes. I hadn't had the confidence to look up at him and see myself as a liability in his eyes. He had never said so in words but deep in my heart I knew that I could have never been more to him. The difference between us was staggering enough.

Jazz removed my hand from his arm and my eyes shot to his, startled by the movement. With a sad smile at me, he hesitated before placing my hand in Edward's, securing our hands together with a tight squeeze before stepping back. My heart thundered in my chest as Edward gripped my hand gently.

Then came the recitation of vows. Edward was first, his voice sincere and quiet.

"I, Edward Cullen, take you, Isabella Swan, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

He had said it. I could feel him looking at me, but I couldn't bear to see him right now.

We just weren't meant to be. That was the one truth I would always have to live with.

"I, Edward Cullen, take you, Isabella Swan, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

I just stood quietly, unwilling drawn to his warm eyes as he said the words. Then, the minister turned to me. Steeling myself, I looked up at him. He smiled encouragingly before repeating the vows for me to say.

He stared expectantly, but my mouth refused to open. I saw his brow creasing at my silence. I could feel everyone else's stares but I just couldn't get myself to say the words I so desperately needed to. I opened and closed my mouth several times but the words just wouldn't come out.

I heard Edward's sharp breath at the same time that we both realized I wouldn't be able to say the words.

"Excuse me, Sir." Edward's voice spoke, tense and strained. "May we have a few minutes?"

The minister looked between the two of us, before nodding. "Yes, of course."

Without another word, Edward took my hand and started to lead me away, but Jazz stepped in our way.

"She's not going anywhere with you," Jazz said in a low no-nonsense voice.

"I have to talk to her," Edward said, his voice laced with strain and urgency.

"I won't let you make her do something she doesn't want to," Jazz said, moving forward menacingly. "I won't let her make the same mistake twice," he said coldly.

"Stay out of my way, Jasper," Edward said calmly, but the hidden threat in his voice was unmistakable. "This is between me and Bella."

Before things could get worse, Alice stepped in. "Stop it both of you. This is a church!" Turning to Jazz, she spoke softly, "Jasper, let them talk. Bella is not a child, she can make her own decisions." Jasper looked down for a second, before stepping out of our way. Edward led me to the corner, sitting down beside me on the bench, his elbows on his knees.

He remained quiet as though he was waiting for me to speak.

"I'm so sorry," I blubbered suddenly. "I don't know why I couldn't say those words. I'm not backing out, it's just…I don't know what came over me." Taking his hand, I tugged. "Come on, let's go. I'll do it right this time." But he refused to budge.

"I don't think you trust me enough," he said so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. Then he lifted his haunted jade eyes to mine. "Why?"

I was too quick to refuse. "It's not like that."

"Bella, there's something going on in your mind and until you don't tell me, I will never know."

Shaking my head, I settled next to him. "I was very young when I first came here. I don't remember much, but I do recall some of the smaller details of the church. When I came here, it was very long ago with my mother."

Edward was silent so I continued, "She's no more. The church just brought back some unwelcome memories. It just felt wrong to say the vows in a church…well, because we both know how long the marriage is intended for. I just-" I stopped, unable to say more.

"When I said my vows I wasn't lying, Bella." Edward said, looking up at me. "I know that we agreed on two years and that's what it will be. I never wanted you to feel locked down with me. I plan on honoring the marriage. I would never tell you to break the marriage if you never wanted to. Whatever I said today was true." I remained silent as he paused.

"I had never seen myself getting married. But when we decided on it, I wanted to do it in the right way. The distinction between right and wrong is not as easy for either of us as we would have hoped. You'll always have an out. You can trust me," he said, placing his hand on both of mine.

We stared at each other for a moment, before Edward stood up.

"Bella, from here you have two choices. Either you can walk out of here right now and never look back or you can marry me. I won't resent your decision. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the decision was and always will be yours."

With that said, he made his way back down the aisle to the altar, not sparing so much as a glance behind.

He had never planned on getting married, but he was changing that for me. He was always going to honor this commitment. The vows he had uttered were sincere.

He had said so little yet so much.

While I sat there, my mind reeling, running over his words, I realized Edward was more affected by me than he had ever let on. He would have never done any of these things if he had merely pitied me. There was more going on than he had ever willingly admitted. Somewhere deep down, there was no denying that Edward cared for me.

Cared for me as more than an acquaintance or even a friend.

It all fell into place, like the jagged pieces of a confusing puzzle. I didn't know Edward much, but from what I did know, Edward was not good at expressing himself in words. His actions were the window to his mind.

And the vows he had taken today spoke volumes.

As I walked, I felt none of the apprehension. My mind didn't need to block Renee. She just wasn't in my thoughts – neither were Charlie or Jasper. Instead, the only thing on my mind was the man standing opposite me.

The only one person who had decided to hold my hand when every other had refused me.

Looking into his soft, wonderfully bright eyes, I spoke in a strong voice, "I, Isabella Swan, take you, Edward Cullen, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

* * *

**A/N: Finally. So now tell me what you thought. Was the marriage depressing for you or did you feel it was realistic? Please tell me it wasn't cheesy.**

**Let me know it all by reviewing, I'd love some feedback on this as it was the hardest chapter yet.**

**Teasers for the chapters are available on the twilighted thread. Feel free to ask questions or PM me. **

**See you soon :D**


	19. Chapter 17 – My New Life

**Late night update!**

**It's been a while, and I know I've sucked at replying. Sorry, it's my first yr in a new program that is literally depriving me of everything in my life. A big, big thanks to OTD673, who somehow managed to beta this chapter despite her computer breakdown. The poor thing had to do it twice for me – since the format reversed. Love you. **

**From last chapter (recap):**

_As I walked, I felt none of the apprehension. My mind didn't need to block Renee. She just wasn't in my thoughts – neither were Charlie or Jasper. Instead, the only thing on my mind was the man standing opposite me._

_The only one person who had decided to hold my hand when every other had refused me._

_Looking into his soft, wonderfully bright eyes, I spoke in a strong voice, "I, Isabella Swan, take you, Edward Cullen, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."_

**Summary for previous chapter available in the 'summaries' chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 17 – My New Life**

Edward blinked, then opened and closed his mouth several times, apparently at a loss for words.

"Splendid!" The minister practically chirped. I gazed at Edward, waiting for him respond. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair before looking up at me with confused eyes, as though he couldn't understand my decision. Frustrated, I realized that Edward was prepared to have me walk out on him in the middle of ceremony. Inside it hurt to see how little faith he had in me.

Or maybe it just was his own self-doubt that was clouding his judgment.

"Now you may kiss you bride, Mr. Cullen," the minister announced, clearly happy with my decision.

I felt myself stiffen at the same time that I heard a grunt of disbelief behind me. Turning, I saw Jasper looking at Edward with the expression he had reserved specially for him. I sighed, ready to chasten him for his spiteful behavior. That was until I felt a moist pressure on the tips of my fingers. Surprised, I turned back to see Edward holding my hand to his lips. With his eyes on mine, he kissed my fingers again. He stared at me intensely for long, quiet moment before mouthing "Thank you."

The quiet uttering tugged at something inside me and the honesty in gaze left me feeling vulnerable. Not knowing what to say, I nodded in unspoken understanding.

Edward cleared his throat, directing his gaze behind me at Jasper and Alice. "Well, we better get going. We have a flight to catch."

Taking a deep breath, Edward moved past me towards Jasper. "I'll take care of her, I promise," Edward said, knowing exactly what Jasper needed to hear. Jasper hesitated before taking Edward's hand and shaking it with a little more ardor than was required. Next, Edward moved to Alice, kissing her cheek.

"Thanks for today. I guess I'll see you then," Edward said, his face calm, free of any lines from before.

Alice smiled brightly, a smile I hadn't seen in months. Moving forward, she clasped both of Edward's hands in her tiny ones. 'I'm so happy for you," she said, teary-eyed, her eyes drifting towards me.

Edward turned towards me. "I'll wait by the church door for you," he said softly before walking away.

Slowly, I turned back to Jasper and Alice. Alice stepped forward before I could say anything, her face sad and regretful. She didn't touch me, maintaining her distance for which I was thankful.

"Bella, I -" she stopped, struggling for words. "I know it's not right for me to start this right now, but I don't know when I'll see you again. I just…I just want to let you know that I'm so sorry for what happened."

Unwillingly, I felt my thoughts creeping back to the dreadful night. A part of me wanted to pull Edward back, knowing he would stop Alice from continuing. The impulse surprised me.

Alice wiped a few stray tears, looking up at me with honest eyes, "If only I could take back my words asking you to stay later that night -" her voice broke.

I wished she would stop. It seemed as though I could never get far enough from that part of my life. Not even on my own wedding day.

"It wasn't your fault. I have never blamed you," I said quietly, knowing it was the least I could say to ease her guilt. When she began to protest, I looked up at her with pleading eyes, wishing she wouldn't continue. It wasn't that I had ever blamed Alice, there was no one to blame. I had learned to accept that.

Fortunately, she dropped the topic. Wiping her tears, she gave me a brave smile as she squeezed my hand before walking away. That left me and Jasper.

"Sorry for the drama today," Jasper said, looking down at the floor. I nodded. Perhaps if it were me in his position today, I would have done the same.

"So you'll call me, right?" He asked, almost child-like.

"Try and stop me," I said, managing a small smile. For a minute, we were both quiet.

"Jazz," I started, hesitating about what I had wanted to say for so long. My grief had temporarily blinded me from seeing what I should have as a friend. "Jazz…before I leave today, I want to say something."

Jazz looked up curiously. "Jazz, you heard what I said to Alice. She isn't the one to blame," I said cautiously, watching his reaction.

Jazz catching on, frowned. "Bella, let's not get into this now. Please, just let it go," he said quietly, his expression suddenly desolate.

"No, Jazz. We both know Alice didn't deserve the harsh treatment she got," I murmured. Jazz's face fell as he nodded.

"It's too late now," he whispered. "She'll never forgive me for what I said. She probably doesn't even have feelings for me anymore," he said, shrugging self-depreciatingly.

"Of course, she does," I said soothingly, touching his arm. He gave a bitter laugh, shaking his head.

"You don't have to spare my feelings, Bella. I'm a realist, I _can_ accept facts."

I sighed impatiently, before speaking. "You must be blind to not see the way she looks at you. It's clear as day that she only has eyes for you."

I was surprised when he didn't argue back, but his eyes flickered with hope. That was all the answer I needed for now. Things would work out for them. Only I hoped it would be sooner than later.

I glanced at Jazz's watch and looked up at him, "I should get going, Jazz." Jazz nodded mutely.

When I reached Edward, he looked troubled, but he didn't say anything. As I turned back to say goodbye to Jazz, I found his eyes focused on Alice. Leaning towards him, I whispered, "Go get her before it's too late."

Jazz's eyes, surprised, swung to meet mine. I smiled reassuringly, one last smile for my best friend. Deciding that was better than any teary goodbye, I turned back to Edward.

Noticing the worried look on his face, I wondered what was on his mind, but before I could ask he started leading me to the car, his hand on my back. An awareness I hadn't felt before radiated from his presence. Trying to dispel the unsettling sensations, I took the back seat when Edward held the car door open.

The car ride was quiet and tense. Edward never spoke, staring outside the window, deep in thought. He almost seemed angry. No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't understand what had upset him. I began to worry that maybe he was beginning to regret his decision. Was it because he was beginning to see the implications of marrying me?

The thought made me feel sick. What if he had begun to see me for what I was, a weak woman relying solely on to him for support? I always knew that I never had anything to give to him. In this marriage, he was the one making all the compromises.

I felt angry at myself for doubting him, for doubting myself. Wasn't it just half-an-hour ago that I had completely entrusted him with my life? The man sitting ahead of me was my husband. The same man who had decided to stand by my side when all the others were gone. I believed in him, in his words. In those vows he had taken at the altar.

I felt myself calm slightly as I thought back to his words. Edward had reassured me time and again of his sincerity, sometimes with words and at other times with his actions. He had promised to protect me... but then, there had to be something else responsible for the abrupt change in his behavior.

Before I could think anymore about Edward's strange behavior, the car stopped. I glanced outside to see that we weren't even at the departure entrance to the airport. As Edward opened the door, I stared up at him in confusion. With a determined look he held his hand out, and I carefully slipped my hand into his as he helped me out of the car.

"Edward, why are we getting out here?" I asked, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. It seemed as though we were at the airport, but in a completely different area.

"I'll explain," he said calmly, although his eyes tightened around the corners. Turning to Franco, he said, "Franco, you'll get the luggage on the flight, right?"

Franco nodded stiffly. Seeing his worried expression, I felt my stomach tighten. Something was wrong.

"Bella, here, put this on," Edward said, removing his jacket and handing it to me. This worried me even more, but I put it on silently.

Unable to wait when Franco drove off, I spoke abruptly, voice trembling, "Edward, what is it?"

Edward took my hand, before speaking, "Walk with me. We need to get to the terminal fast."

As we began walking, Edward took a deep breath before turning his burning, green eyes on me.

"Bella, there's a problem."

I stopped, but he tugged on my hand to keep me walking. "Lauren has sent reporters to the airport."

Perhaps, I should have begun to expect these hurdles along the way. But very simply, I didn't. And it hit harder every time it happened.

"Hey," Edward said, touching my cheek to turn my face towards him. "It's going to be okay, Bella. Trust me, I've got it covered."

That caught my attention. I looked at him curiously. "What are you thinking?" I asked, cocking my head.

He smiled knowingly. And I knew, just like always, Edward had a plan.

"Well, clearly, they are expecting us to arrive at the departure gate," Edward said, stroking my hand thoughtfully. "What if we entered through the back of the terminal? They probably wouldn't know that we have arrived, and even if they did, we would already be past the gates and they wouldn't catch up to us," he explained.

"Edward, how are we going to get in through the back of the terminal, they won't allow us in. Isn't it reserved for aviation personnel only? How are we going to get through?"

"Franco." Edward said.

"Franco?" I repeated, confused.

"Franco knows someone who works at the airport who can let us in through the back doors."

My eyebrows furrowed, "What about the security checks? How can we just bypass that?"

"Franco will deal with that. Let us just get to the terminal; we have quite a bit to walk." With that said, he grabbed my hand and we hurried along.

As it turned out, the way to the back entrance was through a storage room. As we crept into the room, I started coughing from the excessive dust and debris. I pressed a hand to my mouth to avoid drawing any more attention to us. Along the way, some people had stared at us, and Edward was worried that the reporters would figure out our intentions.

Edward patted my back, and put his arm to around me as he led me to the entrance. Reaching the door, he lightly knocked and sure enough it opened instantly to reveal a bulky man.

He gestured us into the terminal with a wave of his hand. As we stepped in, the man stared at me a little longer than was necessary, his gaze sweeping over me in a way that made me shudder. Edward noticed too and instantly stepped in front of me, effectively blocking the man's view.

The man frowned at Edward, clearly displeased. "This way," he said, ushering us into a room which seemed like an office.

"Your luggage has been screened, no problems there," he said to Edward. "I just need to check you guys for anything you might be carrying and then you're free to go."

"Now, if you'll step right here," he said, looking at Edward. Moving towards Edward, the man patted Edward's pockets, and waved a metal detector in front of him, only to detect Edward's keys and watch.

The man then looked towards me, licking his lips slowly. Troubled, I turned to Edward, only to find him violently glaring at the man.

"Now, Miss-" the man started, but Edward rudely interrupted.

"That's _Mrs_. Cullen to you," Edward said heatedly, not concealing his hostility the least bit. "Now, if you would please call a female employee for the security check so that _my wife_ and I can proceed."

The fact that he acknowledged me as his wife made my blush unexpectedly, and I placed my hands on my cheeks to quell the heat radiating from them.

"But -" the man began to protest, but Edward stepped forward, towering over the man. Picking his tag, Edward bit the next words out, "Demetri, I'll be sure to keep your name in mind." At this point, the man was visibly flustered, and he rushed out the door as soon as Edward let go of his tag.

"Um," I began unsurely, "Thanks for that."

"Like I'd ever let him lay his hands on you," Edward said darkly. It seemed as though he didn't realize what he had said because the next moment his eyes widened, and he looked away, embarrassed. And I flushed even more at his words, looking away in turn.

The female staff member sent was more…accommodating. And within a matter of minutes, we were at the check in counter. Surprisingly, we went through the rest of the formalities smoothly. Not once did we encounter a single reporter.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I took my seat on the flight. Edward loaded our sparse belongings on to the compartment above before settling next to me. He had booked our seats in the first class part of the plane.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, looking at me sideways from his position against the head rest.

"I'd like to pay you back for the flight," I said, hesitant to see his response.

Edward gave me a disapproving look. "Please, Bella. I thought we had established that you were going to let me help you. Besides, what sort of a man takes money from his wife?"

"The same type who decides to help a complete stranger by making her his wife."

"That was meant to be rhetorical question," Edward dead-panned. I frowned.

"Edward, I wish you would see this from my point of view. You doing these things makes me feel incapable, almost as though I can't take care of myself," I said earnestly, wishing he would see things the way they were.

"You know," Edward started, his eyes appraising me, "sooner or later, you're going to have trust someone. Sometimes, I feel as though you're too independent, and I'm afraid to say that makes us alike in more ways than one," he said, smiling sardonically.

"I have taken care of myself my entire life. I don't see why that needs to change," I said steadily, refusing to be deterred.

"It's not a matter of change, Bella. Some day you'll have to let go and believe that there's always this one person that won't ever let you fall," he said, quietly gazing at me.

Overwhelmed by the implication behind his words, I looked down at my hands before turning away to gaze through the window.

For the next two hours, we didn't say a word to each other. I continued to gaze through the window as Edward read a business magazine. I sighed as I realized that avoiding Edward's confrontational attitude was fighting a losing battle. Leaning back, I stared at the seat in front of me hoping to diffuse some of this awkwardness.

"You look like you could use some sleep," I began, turning towards him to see his eyes still focused at the magazine.

"I'm not tired," Edward said without moving his gaze. The dark circles under his eyes said otherwise.

I tried again. "You look tired."

Edward looked my way with a raised eyebrow, "I could say the same for you."

I shrugged. Awkward. Awkward. _Awkward._

"So do you live with family?" I asked casually, internally cringing as I realized I should have known all these things by now.

"No, it's just me." Edward said, his voice cooled beyond recognition. He returned his eyes to the article abruptly. I waited for him to elaborate but he showed no inclination to do so.

"That would be lonely," I said, feeling like a fool for being so persistent about making small talk. It was clear that he was not in the mood.

"I like my solitude," he said quietly. "It gives me a …sense of freedom if you will. Not all of us need exciting lives."

"You sound older than your years." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"That's not the first time I've heard that. And just for the record, it's not always been this way," he said with a wry smile.

"What was it like before?" I said, unable to stop myself from asking. Imagining Edward as someone else seemed impossible.

"Young, foolish…crazy," he smiled. "I was an extremist."

"Extremist in what?" I asked, intrigued.

"Sports, music, you name it. Addicted to adrenaline in the worst way possible," he said, his green eyes bright with excitement. It was hard to not feel the passion in his words.

"What changed?" I asked, tilting my head. Edward shrugged, looking away before uttering a single word.

"Life."

~x~x~x~x~

"Here we are," Edward announced, pulling me out of my thoughts. After the conversation in the plane, I spent the rest of the flight running over Edward's words, silently wondering what he had meant. What had changed him? And why?

Edward held the door open as I climbed out of the car. I was not prepared for what I saw.

It was a mansion right at the edge of a seemingly endless array of trees. It stood tall and timeless, elegant and isolated. It was beautiful and seemed like it belonged to another century all together. The walls were built from gray stones that shone in the bright sunlight and the black roof just added to the contrast. Long, sleek white windows were dispersed across the framework, the glass delicate and expensive.

I gaped open-mouthed at the sight before me. From beside me, Edward's voice spoke.

"I take it that you like it…" he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

I snapped my mouth shut before looking at him. "I had pegged you as an apartment-kind-of- guy."

"It's a family home. My parents live in another state and my grandmother spends most of her time in London. So it's just me here."

"Oh," I said, unable to remove my eyes from the house. It seemed too extravagant to live in.

"Come on, let me show you in," Edward said, guiding me to the doors with his hand on my back.

"But the baggage?" I asked.

"I'll have it delivered to your room," Edward said dismissively.

Before Edward had even gotten his keys out, the doors open revealing a middle aged, plump woman.

"Oh bontà! (_Oh Goodness_!)" She exclaimed, before gathering me in a tight hug. I jumped back from the unexpected contact. She didn't seem to mind.

"Benvenuti! Benvenuti! (_Welcome_!)," she said excitedly. I stared in horror at her unbridled enthusiasm.

"Calmarsi (calm down)," Edward said, chuckling lightly. I stared at him in shock as he smiled at her, and she moved forward to hug him. After kissing both his cheeks, she smiled up at him vibrantly.

Edward moved towards me, putting his hand around my shoulder. "Bella, this is Thea, my house keeper. As you can probably surmise, she's Italian," he said, smiling at her.

Thea smiled warmly at me, "Lovely to meet you," she said. "Excuse my manners, I have a habit of getting ahead of myself." When I stared at her in confusion, she looked on knowingly. "And yes, I do speak English," she finished, with a wink.

I blushed at the transparency of my thoughts, "Nice to meet you," I mumbled.

"I like her," she said, waggling at her eyebrows at Edward in a very 'un-womanly' way. Edward did not look pleased, and I was positive that my face was on fire.

"Come on both of you, I have a feast prepared," she said, waving her hand as she disappeared.

"Well, that was interesting," Edward murmured, looking down at me sideways.

"You can say that again," I said, following him into the house.

~x~x~x~x~

The lunch was extraordinary and quite a bit for two people. One thing was for sure, I hadn't had such a fulfilling a meal over the past few months. Over the meal, Edward told me about Thea. I learned that she was more than his housekeeper, she had practically raised him.

He smiled a lot when he talked about her. It was strange seeing this other side to Edward, but intriguing all the same. Although, Edward seemed to keep to himself, it was clear that the few people that he cared for meant a lot to him. So far there only seemed to be two names, Thea and Franco. None of which were family. It surprised me to see that for some reason Edward was not close to his family.

As we finished lunch, Edward got a call. "Excuse me, I have to take this," Edward said, taking the call before leaving the table.

"Bella," he called from the other side of the room. I looked up at him.

"Why don't you take a look around the house? Your room is upstairs, third door to the right."

I nodded and began to navigate my way through the house. The house was spacious, and its interior was antique, yet well-maintained and beautiful. Apart from the sitting and dining rooms, there was a pool room, snooker room, gym, sun room, TV room and a huge library. I was delighted at the prospect of having so much to read.

I skimmed the back of the books with the tips of my fingers, feeling a calm drift over me. It seemed as though the library had all genres of books which pleased me as I had a rather eclectic taste when it came to reading. Inhaling deep, I closed my eyes. I knew without a doubt that this place would be my source of comfort over the next two years.

Leaving the library, I moved upstairs. The first two rooms were bedrooms, furnished but unoccupied I assumed. The third room was my room. Moving inside, I admired the spacious room. Best of all, it was carpeted, making it look cozy and warm. The bed was wide and much larger than I was used to. In addition, the room had a closet, dressing table and several chests of drawers along with a couple of exquisite paintings. There was also an adjoining washroom.

The next room was completely empty. Shrugging, I moved to the neighboring room. It was Edward's. In contrast to the other rooms, it was messy. Terribly so. His desk was littered with papers, his bed still unmade. Clothes were strewn on the side of the bed. It gave me the impression that Edward had restricted Thea access to his room.

My fingers itched to clear out the mess he had created, but I stopped myself. I felt as though I was intruding on a part of his life he didn't like to share. Feeling a wave of guilt, I glanced over my shoulder, half-expecting Edward to appear. I looked back and noticed that Edward's walls were completely bare. I wondered why, but before I could think further something nudged against my foot.

Looking down, I noticed a pair of black frames. Suspecting they were Edward's, I picked them up. I didn't think twice when I cleaned them with the edge of my skirt. I set them on his bedside table before leaving the room. The longer I stayed, the more wrong it felt. It seemed too personal.

I realized I had seen all the rooms and made to move downstairs. That was until a door at the end of the hallway caught my eye. I moved towards the room, it was almost hidden from sight due to the slanted pathway leading to it. Placing my hand on the cool metal, I pulled the handle down.

Locked.

My brow furrowed. Why was it locked? If there was a room that would have been locked, I would have assumed it was Edward's, but that didn't seem to be the case. Edward hadn't mentioned that anyone else lived in the house, and I knew Thea lived at the servant quarters.

I tried again with more force this time, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"What do you think you are doing?"

I froze from the anger in his voice. Turning around slowly, I stared in fear as Edward advanced towards me, glaring at me with his hands fisted by his sides.

* * *

**A/N: Wonder what/who is on the other side of the door. Does the room reside Edward's big secret? And how did you like the first chapter post-marriage – is it what you expected?**

**Long way to go for these two, but now's the fun part. They'll learn together…**

**I'll post teasers on the thread when the next chapter is complete.**

**Leave me a thought or two with a review… (hey, it rhymes!)**


	20. Chapter 18 – The Bench

Hey!

Thank you for being patient with me and reviewing. It's been a hard first yr for the program I've opted for. I know I haven't been great with updates, but it was the best I could do in the time I had and hey, it was better than a hiatus, right?

Bright side of things, updates will be more often now.

Thanks to OTD673 for all her help with the betaing. Couldn't have posted a readable chp without her!

Here's the next chapter.

* * *

**Recap: **_My brow furrowed. Why was it locked? If there was a room that would have been locked, I would have assumed it was Edward's, but that didn't seem to be the case. Edward hadn't mentioned that anyone else lived in the house, and I knew Thea lived at the servant quarters. _

_I tried again with more force this time, my curiosity getting the best of me._

"_What do you think you are doing?"_

_I froze from the anger in his voice. Turning around slowly, I stared in fear as Edward advanced towards me, glaring at me with his hands fisted by his sides._

**The summary for the previous chapter is in the 'summaries' section.**

**Chapter 18 – The Bench**

I stared mutely as Edward stalked across the hallway, his feet carrying him with all the grace in the world.

I raised my eyes to meet his as he stood tall above me. Without a word, he looked down, anger bright in his gaze.

He interrupted the eerie silence with his words.

"Doors are locked for a reason," he said with his unwavering gaze, his voice a dark mix of anger and silence.

I swallowed trying to push my uncertainty away. Licking my lips, I spoke, "I…I didn't -"

He cut me off. "But you just did."

A new voice distracted us. "Oh Edward, there you are."

Thea stood behind Edward, but even with her bright personality she seemed somewhat subdued. One look at her and I knew that she had witnessed our exchange. Edward's expression remained unchanged, and as he opened his mouth to speak, she put her hand on his arm.

"Go now, Edward. Your grandmother has missed you, why don't you go and return her call," she urged, her gaze deliberately meaningful as though she was trying to convey something to him.

Edward blew out a frustrated breath, leaving me without a word. I looked down, feeling ashamed for some reason. It was not like I knew that the room was so personal to Edward. If I had, I would have never invaded his privacy.

"Don't over think, Bella," Thea said gently, taking my hand between hers. I glanced up to see a soft expression on her face.

"You didn't do anything wrong," she paused, letting her statement sink in. "Edward has a tendency to overreact. He's always been that way - volatile, acting before thinking," she smiled ruefully. She patted my cheek lightly, before continuing, "He'll regret it sooner or later and then he'll apologize."

"Didn't seem like it," I mumbled, mostly to myself.

"He will, trust me. Just you wait and see," she said knowingly. Then her expression became more serious and troubled.

"Edward is not a patient man, but he is a kind man. In my years with him, I never thought he'd ever find someone. I'm not going to pretend that this marriage coming out of nowhere doesn't worry me."

I looked away, feeling guilty. Thea was right to worry. Little did she know what the true reason behind this marriage was. Edward hadn't found someone, he was just helping me. Love was never part of the bargain. It never would be.

"When I looked at you, I saw honesty in you. I see goodness in this heart-shaped face of yours," she said, cupping my cheek. "But your eyes…they have so much pain. And I just know when I look at both of you that everything will be alright. Edward will be good for you and you for him."

She was so sadly mistaken that it was painful. I wanted to tell her every bit of the truth, but I held my tongue. I couldn't imagine how she would feel when she saw me for what I really was. How would she feel when she found out that I could never be what she wanted for Edward?

"Now, why don't you rest in your room for a while. And if I were you, I'd steer clear of Edward," she said with a wink. I smiled at her, but began to question Edward's behavior in my mind.

As she began to leave, I instinctively caught her arm due to the question in my mind.

"Thea, whose room is this?" I asked, gripping her arm unknowingly.

Thea's cheerful expression vanished, being replaced by a solemn expression. "Bella, I -"

"Please tell me." I said, unable to let go of this hint of who Edward was.

"It belonged to Elizabeth Masen…Edward's mother."

My brow furrowed. _Belonged?_

But just as I began to ask her, Thea lifted my hand off of her arm.

"Some stories are not mine to tell."

Giving me one last look, she descended the stairs quickly, and I gazed at the door that held the key to this mystery.

~x~x~x~x~

As I rested on the extravagant bed, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. I thought Edward's mother lived in another state. It hadn't seemed as though Edward was so sensitive about the topic when we had talked about him living by himself.

I rolled over, frustrated. Something just wasn't adding up, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand what had triggered Edward to act the way he did.

Deciding I was going to get nowhere with all this thinking, I got off the bed to go for a walk. After changing into a pair of comfortable jeans, I pulled on my sneakers. I peered outside the room looking for any signs of Edward, but fortunately, he was nowhere to be seen. I stepped out, carefully going downstairs.

For a minute, I considered telling Edward I was going out. However, given the way he had acted, I thought he wouldn't mind. Besides, I wasn't a child, and I could take care of myself. As I passed towards the large living room, I heard the sounds of heavy breathing coming from the gym.

Intrigued, I walked towards the gym. I pushed the semi-closed door slightly open. My eyes caught the sight of Edward, and instinctively, I moved back from the door. What shocked me was not that he was working out, but the expression on his face as he worked the punching bag hard. Sweat pooled along his temples, his bronze hair almost black, but his eyes, his eyes were hard and so bitter from hatred that I cowered away.

The bag rebounded, and he hit it harder with every blow. He hammered the bag again and again, with so much force that I was surprised it hadn't dislodged already. He didn't even blink, nor did he once relax his body. His mouth remained taut with concentration, and his stance tense. My eyes focused on his hands, tightly fisted in a set of black gloves as they moved back and forth at a speed that I didn't believe was humanely possible.

With one last forceful blow, he moved away and his hands went to his hair. Pulling on his hair furiously, he swore in low voice.

"Fuck!" He could have screamed it and I wouldn't have felt the difference.

Pulling off his sweat soaked shirt, he wiped his forehead. Placing his palm flat against the opposite wall, he closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall.

Backing away, I turned and made my way towards the main doors. The last thing I needed was Edward catching me looking at him as he vented out all that frustration.

As I made my way down the stairs leading to the gates, a question continued to prickle at the edges of my mind. _What was that about?_

Edward has always intimidated me to some extent, but whatever was going on in that room was something else altogether. I massaged my temples to ease some of my restlessness. Was Edward even acting normal?

Surely that couldn't be normal.

Breathing in the fresh September air, I walked towards the paved path etched out between the trees. As I passed through the dense cover of the forest, I took in the surroundings – the lush green trees, the scent of pine cones, the deep hues of the soil, the light breeze blowing. It was slightly cold so I wrapped my arms around myself. Gradually the path opened into a grassy area with a single bench perched at the edge of the trees.

I took a seat on the bench, and rested my back against the sturdy metal frame. To get more comfortable, I pulled my legs up. It was so quiet and peaceful that I completely lost track of time. The sun faded into the evening, the purple turning blue. At times, I just closed my eyes to feel the breeze in my hair, the wind as it whispered along my eyelashes. At other times, I stared at the maple trees as they shed seas of golden leaves.

It was during one of these times that I heard Edward's voice heavy with panic.

"Bella!" He shouted, his breathing labored.

I closed my eyes, feeling upset about the disruption in the calmness of the moment.

"Bella!"

"Bella!"

He shouted in different directions, again and again…his voice more frantic with every call. I could feel the urgency in his footfalls as he moved with indecision, first in one direction then another – all of his self-control dissolved.

I stayed quiet for a moment, absorbing his concern and his…fear. At first, I got scared when I heard his voice, the image of an aggressive Edward in the gym loomed in my mind. But then I heard something else, the faint tremor in his voice. It was then that I could see the Edward that I knew, that I could trust.

"In here," I called faintly, barely matching the volume his voice.

He heard me. Just like I knew he would. Sometimes, it was as though he was the only one that heard me.

"Bella?" He called, his voice a question as his footsteps speedily progressed in my direction. When he finally reached me, he let out a sigh of relief. Bending, he placed his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

"Oh thank God…Thank God that you're all right," he murmured between his breaths, as though he was saying a prayer rather than talking to me.

Standing up to his full height, he turned away from me and pulled on to his bronze locks.

I gazed at him impassively from my still position on the bench.

He kicked the toe of his shoe in dirt before turning towards me. His face seemed calm, but his eyes showed he was mad…really mad and maybe even a little hurt. I could see him trying to hold himself back, and probably in an effort to do so he started pacing back and forth.

As I saw him pace, I knew I should say something but I just didn't know what. Mid-pace, he paused.

"I'm sorry." It was a quiet utterance and not one that I had expected.

"I'm sorry," I replied in kind, surprised to hear how easily the words slipped out.

He smiled a small yet sincere smile. It was rare and made him look handsome. I scooted over to make space when he moved towards the bench.

We stayed quiet for a few moments, gathering our thoughts.

"I over reacted today," he began.

"That's a gross understatement…" I said impulsively.

He chuckled low in his throat, and I couldn't help it when the smallest laugh slipped past my lips.

"I know," he chuckled before continuing. "And again, I'm sorry. I'm a private person and I don't appreciate it when someone tries to barge into my life uninvited."

I flushed with embarrassment and annoyance. I hadn't ever forced him into telling me anything and wasn't he the one that told me to look around the house?

I almost jolted out of my seat with surprise when he placed his hand on mine.

"I wasn't referring to you. It happens a lot in the kind of life I live…and there are some parts of me I don't share. Not with friends. Not even with family," he took a breath before continuing, "You just came across one of those parts today."

"I wasn't trying to intrude, I'm sorry if I gave you the impression," I said, highly conscious of the warmth of his hand.

"I know, I should have told you before. I've been preoccupied with work and it just didn't strike me that you would be curious about the house."

I wanted to tell him that I still was. I wanted to be brave and ask him why the locked room was so important to him. I wanted to ask him if his mother was the one that was responsible for his tortured look back in the gym. There was so much I wanted to know, but my courage was lacking. Instead, I changed the topic.

"I should have told you that I was leaving for a walk," I admitted, thinking back to how shaken he had sounded.

"I wished you would have," he said, staring into the distance. "I was afraid that you may have gotten hurt due to my immature behavior."

"I just needed a time out," I mumbled, but some of my anger came back. "Sorry to say but I was a little pissed," I said, sarcasm dominant in my words.

Edward took the hint. "I can see that. However, what you did was highly irresponsible and foolish. The Cullen property stretches out miles, what if someone was trespassing? Worse still, what if you had gotten lost?" His voice got higher as he completed the sentence. "I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you."

His anger sparked mine. "Just because I was by myself doesn't mean I would have gotten hurt," I took a deep breath. "I can take care of myself!"

When he didn't say anything but continued to look at me with a sad expression, I got even more infuriated knowing what he was probably thinking.

"Go ahead and say it, why don't you?"

"Say what?" Edward asked, seeming genuinely confused.

"That I can't take care of myself. That I have failed already." And I didn't know why but tears filled my eyes.

"I never said that, Bella."

"You wanted to," I said, my voice bitter.

He remained quiet, and I realized once again how much I hated it when he was silent. It always made me feel foolish when I thought back to my words. I was just lashing out from my emotions – sometimes, I didn't know when I would stop.

Edward placed his palm on my back and rubbed my back in light strokes. His gentle touch made me want to cry and a tear slipped out. Before I knew several of them were trailing down freely down my face. I covered my face with my hands, hoping in vain that he wouldn't see my tears.

"What happened that night was not your fault," he said, his voice strong.

The emotion in his voice caused more tears to escape and Edward's hand on my back faltered. In the next moment, I found myself in Edward's lap, his strong arms around me. Instead of finding myself fearful close to him, I felt safe. I gave in and rested my head against his chest.

The dark evening gave way to the night as we sat on the bench under the tree. He rested his chin on top of my head and my head moved in tandem with his steady breathing.

It was the most at peace I had felt in months.

~x~x~x~x~

The morning that followed found me and Edward at the table for breakfast, our exchanges exceptionally quiet.

At night, Edward and I had walked down the path leading to the house. At night, the path was hard to see, and Edward had guided me through by taking my hand. No words were exchanged, not because we were awkward or embarrassed but because there was nothing to be said. I had skipped dinner when Edward had offered because my appetite had vanished.

My sleep was disturbed just like it always was. A flurry of pictures too fast to be put together into a coherent form combined with voices, so many of them…those of the attackers, of my screams, of my mother's soothing lullaby. I woke more than once, restless and hot – terrified of closing my eyes for fear of what I may see. I had hoped that a change of scenery would provide me with a reprieve, but I was wrong.

I wondered if I had screamed for help in my sleep, and if I did would Edward have heard? And if he did, would he have come in my room to wake me? It had surprised me how much I had wanted to reach out for Edward, who was only two doors from me. However, I held back. Our exchange had shown too much of me to him, and I wasn't ready to open myself to him any further.

"Bella?" Edward asked, interrupting my thoughts. "You didn't have dinner last night. And your breakfast has been so light. Please eat more."

I smiled weakly. "Thank you, Edward, but I have had as much as I wanted. I really don't have an appetite for more."

He didn't seem happy with my answer but nevertheless accepted it and continued to eat his breakfast.

A moment later, Thea entered with a grimace on her face. I wondered what was responsible for her sour mood, but before I could think further she spoke.

"Edward, someone is here for you." Thea said.

"Hmmm" Edward said absentmindedly.

"Miss Denali is here." Thea said, her voice showing how much she disliked the person.

"Oh…show her in," Edward said quickly, turning to look at me.

"Bella, Tanya is my -" He began, but was cut off when another voice interrupted him.

"Best friend."

And that's how I found myself looking at a gorgeous, tall blonde woman. Her eyes sparkled like hazel gems on her pale face, and her perfectly shaped lips were coated with the kind of gloss that was the rage nowadays. She was impeccably groomed with her luscious hair and manicured finger nails. To complete the picture, she was dressed in one of those trendy low cut sundresses with flashy heels.

Edward rose to greet Tanya, his expression amused and a smile firmly in place. She rushed past my chair to Edward, throwing her arms around his neck in a theatrical performance. I felt a pang of discomfort in my stomach as Edward returned her embrace completely, but it stung most when he closed his eyes and murmured, "It's so good to see you."

I had to stop myself from leaving the table. However, catching Thea scowling temporarily distracted me.

"How could you get married without me being there?" Tanya's voice sounded just as perfect as she was.

"Everything happened really fast," Edward said hurriedly. Tanya pouted at Edward with those incredible lips of hers, and I had to try really hard to keep my breakfast down.

"Tanya, meet Bella, my wife," Edward said, sending a smile my way. And for the first time since Tanya's arrival, I felt important.

Maybe it was petty of me to think so, but she was so beautiful and feminine that she looked perfect standing next to Edward. A part of my mind whispered that she should have been in my place. I blinked and smiled to stop my self-mutilating thoughts.

"Hello Bella, I've been looking forward to meet you," Tanya said pleasantly but the faint undercurrent that I detected in her voice unnerved me. Her smile was wide, but never reached her eyes.

"It's nice to meet you, Tanya," I said quietly, returning her smile with a small one of my own.

Maybe Edward felt the change in atmosphere as Tanya gazed at me because in the next moment he interrupted.

"So what brings you here, Tanya?"

Tanya's expression turned angry as she turned towards Edward.

"Aro Volturi."

All the pleasantness on Edward's face melted away, a muscle on his face twitched as he ground his teeth.

"What does he want?" Edward asked enunciating each word, his voice chilled and quiet.

"Same old," Tanya practically spat, "He's trying to mess with our contracts. He's urging the Huntingtons to give up our deal and take his. I mean seriously, when will he get over his past grudges. Here, look at this." Tanya threw a newspaper on the breakfast table.

The newspaper had a bold head line: **Huntingtons to choose – Masen & Cullen or Volturi?**

Below was a solo picture of Edward and of two other men. One of the men seemed somewhat peculiar, and I bent forward to get a better look. He had pale white hair that hung to his shoulders, his eyes glittered despite being black, and his skin…his skin was pale, so pale that he didn't even look human. To make his image more frightening, he held a glass of red wine to his lips, smiling mischievously over the rim of the glass.

His image was disturbing to say the least, but I got the feeling that I had seen him somewhere. _But where?_

I stared at the image willing for it to tell me where I had seen this man before. In the background, Tanya spoke.

"Edward, Franco thinks we should all meet at the Masen Headquarters right now."

"He's right, I'll meet you there."

I stared harder, something was just not right…I remembered that smile, that eerie, dangerous smile. I knew I had seen it before…this man was not the type you saw and forgot.

"No, I'll wait for you outside in the car."

"Sure, Tanya."

And as I stared, it struck me. The realization was a shock. I had seen this man once before in the one place that I wished I hadn't.

Lauren's office.

My hands trembled in my lap. This wasn't a good sign, it couldn't be. I could hear Tanya shuffling out of the room, but I couldn't bring myself to look up.

_Aro and Lauren_, my mind whispered. I could see them both standing together in the office when I was passing, matching smiles on their face as they clinked their champagne glasses to victory. But it could be something unrelated to me, couldn't it?

No, it couldn't. The feeling in my stomach told me it was all wrong, what could be worse than our enemies united…

"Bella, I've got to go…I'll see you at dinner," Edward said, pulling on a jacket.

I raised my eyes from the newspaper to look at him.

"I've seen him," I said, my voice a whisper.

"Seen who, Bella?" Edward asked distractedly, fastening his lapels together.

"Aro Volturi."

Edward's face froze, and wide, horror struck emerald eyes meet mine.

And I knew then that we were in so much trouble.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think will be Edward's reaction to this? Do you think Lauren and Aro have joined hands over E&B's destruction? What is the mystery of the closed door? And of course, what about Tanya?Let me know your thoughts.**

** I'll post teasers on the thread when the next chapter is ready. **

**Don't forget to leave a review, even a few words would be mighty good :)  
**

** Next chapter: Two weeks**


	21. Chapter 19 – Night Companions

**Hey everyone,**

**Thanks for the reviews, folks. I tried to reply to everyone this time! Unfortunately, some of you have your PMs blocked so I couldn't reply to your review.  
**

**Thanks to OTD673 for all her help. She's always a great support for the story.**

**Here's the next chapter with a bit of progress I hope. Let me know what you think about it.**

* * *

**Recap:**

_"I've seen him," I said, my voice a whisper._

_"Seen who, Bella?" Edward asked distractedly, fastening his lapels together._

_"Aro Volturi."_

_Edward's face froze, and wide, horror struck emerald eyes met mine._

_And I knew then that we were in so much trouble._

**The summary for the past chapter and all the others are in Chapter 16: Summaries.**

**Chapter 19 – Night Companions**

Edward's face remained frozen as our eyes locked, the panic in his eyes escalating. I could tell that the expression on my face mirrored his. Minutes passed before Edward finally blinked.

"When?" He spoke in a hushed tone, his voice urgent.

"I…I can't remember for certain, but sometime after…after that night," I lowered my eyes, frustrated at my ability to let go of the attack.

When I looked back at Edward, he was fisting his hand in his hair. I wanted to pry his fingers from his hair because from the looks of it, it had to hurt.

"I should have thought of this," Edward mumbled to himself. He began pacing frantically, muttering to himself. I could make out only a few phrases of what he uttered. And off what I heard, nothing sounded good.

"The picture…damn, he's been in it all along…Volturi will screw the company over…This was Lauren's wild card all along."

Edward stopped suddenly, turning to face me. "Bella…this is not good. I have to meet Franco now."

I clutched my stomach to stop the unease that I felt. Hesitantly, I nodded and looked up at Edward expectantly, hoping that he would say something to put my mind at ease.

He didn't.

Giving me one last look with those green unfathomable eyes, he walked away, the sounds of his shoes on the polished wood being the only sounds that resonated in my mind despite the silence.

It was a while before Thea came back in the room.

"Is she gone?" She asked, a scowl on her face.

I shook my head to clear my head. "Yes," I replied, Tanya and Edward's friendship was the last thing on my mind.

"Good," she said, satisfied or at least temporarily placated...

"But then where did Edward go?" She asked, looking around.

"Something urgent came up," I said, unsure as to whether I should mention Aro or not.

"Oh," Thea said thoughtfully, then shrugged her shoulders before proceeding to clear the table.

"Thea, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Would it okay if I rested in my room?"

Thea looked worriedly towards me. "Oh dear, are you okay?" She asked, concern etched in her voice.

I smiled weakly to ease her concern, "Yes, nothing major - I'm just feeling a little...shaken."

"Of course, darling. You go in and rest, would you like some soup? I make some great soup," she added, clasping her hands together.

"No, thank you. If Edward calls, please let me know." I said, hoping she wouldn't notice the pleading in my voice.

"I will, don't you worry…are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale."

"It's nothing," I assured her, feeling terribly unsettled inside. Giving her a last smile, I started towards the stairs.

"Bella?" Thea's voice halted me at the first step.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to look at her.

"Tanya could never be what you are to Edward." She said with no pretense, her voice grave.

I didn't know what to say, so I settled for a smile. I wondered if she could hear the words in my mind that screamed _contract wife_ because her wise, aged eyes crowded with worry as I turned away.

As I ascended the stairs, there was no doubt in my mind that Tanya and Edward had a history. Tanya's perfect features danced in my mind along with flashes of Edward's face. I had thought they would make the perfect couple – little had I know how right I was. They had once been a couple, but not anymore.

Had I unknowingly stopped what could have been so much more? The thought was so painful that I felt unsteady on my own feet. Feeling nauseous, I reached out for the post at the end of the railing.

Overwhelmed by today's incident and the prospect of a possible affair between Edward and Tanya, I closed my eyes tightly. Inhaling a deep calming breath, I opened my eyes determinedly.

I had to know…

And I would find out tonight.

~x~x~x~x~

I paced worriedly in my room, glancing every now and then at the phone. Edward hadn't called even once. Now at 8 p.m., I was sick with worry.

Several times I thought of calling Edward, asking him what would happen now, but then the thought of disturbing him in this stressful period stopped me. After all, this crisis was somewhat related to me. Edward didn't need a nagging wife right now.

By 9 p.m., Thea popped in.

"Bella, would you like me to set dinner on the table?" Thea asked, not looking the least bit bothered about Edward being so late.

"No, thank you. I'll eat with Edward," I said, hoping he would show up soon.

"Bella, you shouldn't wait, sometimes I don't either," she said, grinning. "Honestly, that boy just works too much. He often comes late at night so don't starve yourself because of him."

Unwillingly my mind wandered back to Tanya, and I felt an unsettling emotion that I didn't want to name. Was he with her right now? Shaking my head to clear it, I looked up at Thea.

"Thank you, Thea, but I think I'll join him for dinner," I said, but at Thea's unconvinced look I spoke again, "He looked worried."

"Call him, that way you'll know how long it will take," Thea suggested.

"Oh…I don't know, I wouldn't want to bother him. I'm sure he's busy enough," I said uncertainly.

"You're his wife for goodness sake; he can't ever be too busy for you!" Thea exclaimed.

"Um," I began, thinking of a way to deflect the conversation. I stared disbelievingly as Thea picked up the receiver on the side table and began dialing a number.

"Edward, yes, hello!" Thea exclaimed, then listened intently before answering, "Bella wanted to ask you when you were coming for dinner. Here talk to her," Thea smiled shamelessly at me before thrusting the phone in my hand.

I stared at her, shocked.

"I'll let you have some privacy," Thea said, before practically dancing out of the room.

"Hello," I said, swallowing nervously.

"Hello, Bella," Edward said distractedly, the sound of pages being flipped sounded from the other side.

"Bella, I'm afraid I'll be late tonight, please don't bother waiting for me for dinner." More pages flipped.

"Edward, if you don't mind me asking…is everything okay?" I started, hesitant to broach the topic.

Edward gave a bitter laugh. "No, Bella. Nothing is fine."

"I wish I could help," I left the thought unfinished.

Edward was silent on the other side of the line.

"I'll let you get on. Sorry if I disturbed you," I said, embarrassed by his silence.

"You didn't," his voice was quiet, and all sounds in the background ceased.

He cleared his throat. "Bella, I don't know what Aro's playing at. And I don't know what going through his mind at this moment, but he has invited us to a party his company has organized."

"Oh…" I said, dumbfounded. Why would Aro do that?

"It's tomorrow." Edward said, his voice business like.

"Tomorrow? Will you go?" I asked, worried to think that Edward would even consider attending the party. Aro could never be good news, I thought as my mind wandered to his devious smile.

"I don't have much of a choice in the matter - a lot of our investors know Aro and are invited. If I don't go, they'll think I'm not a professional or worse, that I'm apprehensive to go because of the competition with Aro."

"That doesn't sound too good," I murmured.

"No, it definitely doesn't. But anyway, I think it's about time we went out in public together."

"What?" I exclaimed in shock, clutching the receiver tightly.

"Bella, we can't put it off any longer, people are going to think we're hiding our relationship," Edward said, trying to reason with me.

"Why Aro's party? Won't there be media there? I paused, trying to find the words, "Edward after everything, how can you expect me to go there?" I asked, hurt.

"Bella, look, I understand-"

"No, you don't," I said adamantly, cutting him off. His breath hitched.

"No, you don't." I whispered, repeating the words.

"I do," Edward said softly. "The reason I asked you was that Aro is famous for flaunting his wealth. He invites his client's and associates' families too. If I didn't ask you to come with me, it would make it obvious that things weren't well between us."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have insisted," he continued. "I can make up a good excuse, don't worry about it," he said, dismissing the topic altogether.

I could that see that his reasons made perfect sense, but I just couldn't bear to see someone who had ensured that I lost my job, that I lost my respect as a worker. Someone who was making sure that I wouldn't be able to get any peace of mind even now. So I stayed silent, knowing I should help Edward get through this, but not having the courage to face anymore.

"And please Bella, don't wait for me. I will be late." Edward said, his voice tired.

"Okay," I agreed, feeling helpless and guilty.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night Edward."

He hung up first, and I said to the dead tone what I couldn't say to him.

"I'm sorry, Edward."

~x~x~x~x~

Tonight was a hot September night, the unusual one amongst the relatively cool ones. I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable in my somewhat reasonable PJs. Despite my night time shower, the heat was stifling and I hated to admit it, but I wasn't comfortable with leaving my window open.

I mentioned the problem at hand to Thea as she refused to return to the servant quarters until Edward returned.

"Oh, sorry, dear. I would turn the A/C on, but unfortunately the cooling system hasn't been working well. I asked Edward to call someone to check it, but ever since he's returned he's been so busy."

"That's okay, Thea. It'll get better as the night moves along," I said, hearing how unconvincing I sounded.

"Oh, I've got it! Why don't you sleep in Edward's room? He's got an additional cooling system installed in his room. I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Thea said mischievously, winking suggestively.

I flushed at the meaning behind her words, wondering what to say to something like that.

"Um…I think I'm more comfortable in my room," I said lamely, feeling foolish for even bringing this up. Of course, Thea would say that. She just seemed to love diverting every conversation towards Edward and I…I really should have known better than to come to her.

"Oh, I see," Thea said, looking disappointed. It was almost comical seeing how transparent she was in trying to push me towards Edward.

"Why don't you wear something lighter, like a nightgown?" Thea asked, looking me up and down.

"Uh…I didn't pack any when I came here." They were overused and frankly, old.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I think I might have some new ones that are your size lying around in the upper closet." For some reason, I doubted that Thea had the habit of accumulating nightgowns that were my size. However, I settled for a grateful smile, thankful to have something lighter to wear.

"That's sounds wonderful actually."

Thea hurried along, and a few minutes later returned with a bag.

"Here you go. Hope it provides some relief."

"I'm sure it will, thank you." I said before returning to my room.

The nightgowns turned out to be sets of highly priced nightwear, that were decorated in silk and laces. Altogether, they screamed feminine. They weren't my idea of comfortable, but on nights like these they were a welcome option.

Fortunately, they were modest enough and not some of the slinky stuff I had feared they might be. The nightgown I had worn tonight was surprisingly soft and airy with its little delicate straps. Again not something I would have chosen, but it did the job anyway.

Heaving a restless sigh, I clambered back into bed again, hoping for a dreamless sleep just like I did every other night. And knowing deep down that it wouldn't happen.

~x~x~x~x~

_He's smiling down at me, with his red eyes and dangerous smile._

_I look around frantically for Edward, but I'm in a room full of mirrors and every direction holds Aro's reflection._

_I scream in fright and run as fast as my feet can carry me._

_A hand clamps down on my arm, nails digging painfully into my skin. I try to fight, but my body is paralyzed with fear._

_Lauren laughs loudly at my helplessness, her bright red lips curling in a devious smirk._

_I'm sweating and hot, I blink through the faint haze, turn around and look, search…_

_Edward is standing with Tanya in his arms, he's smiling at her. And I'm standing alone. _

"_Edward," I cry, but he doesn't hear me. _

_Tanya rests her head against Edward's chest as the two sway to an unknown rhythm._

"_Edward!"I call in anguish, but he won't hear me. Why don't you hear me, Edward?_

"Bella!"

I struggled against the person who was shaking me.

"Bella, for God's sake, wake up!"

"Don't hurt me," I cried in anguish, shielding myself with my arms.

"Bella, it's me Edward!"

He heard me, I could almost cry with the realization. "Edward," I gasped, reaching for him.

Once in his arms, I inhaled his comforting scent – cigarettes and cinnamon. Not being able to get close enough, I put my arms around him to pull him closer, my hands fisting the material of his shirt.

"Bella, I'm here," Edward murmured soothingly, my frantic heartbeat calmed at the sound of his voice as he rhythmically stroked my back.

"Edward," I whispered, still trembling with fright.

"I'm here," he repeated, inhaling deeply in my hair. My eyes closed on their accord as I snuggled into his warmth, savoring the safety he was providing.

All too soon, I realized that I was no longer asleep…that this was real, that Edward was here with me. Uncertainty bloomed in my mind as I sensed our position, his arms around me on a bed…with me in the thin night dress. I tensed at the direction of my thoughts, trying to quell the panic that wanted to force its way through. When his hand unknowingly grazed the skin of my back, I clenched my eyes, no. Oh God, no.

"Bella," Edward whispered in my hair, "What is it?"

I took a calming breath, extricating myself from Edward's arms and covering myself with a blanket.

I could feel Edward's hesitance as he let me go, but I didn't dwell on it too long. Or maybe I just didn't want to. Edward seemed to realize the awkwardness of the moment, and he got off the bed instantly. Pulling a chair close to the bed, he sat on it and stared at me for the longest time with his jaded eyes.

I burrowed myself deeper under the covers to try to escape his scrutiny but did so with no avail.

"Bella, you've been having nightmares?" Edward said with his penetrating gaze, though he made it sound more like a statement than a question.

"Yes," I whispered, knowing it was no use lying, he had heard them. Tears filled my eyes as I admitted this weakness of mine.

"Since when?" His voice was quiet.

"Ever since the night." I hugged myself as Edward's eyes flashed angrily.

"Every night?" My lips turned up in a mocking smile at the surprise in his voice.

"Every night," I murmured.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What's there to say, Edward? And anyway, telling anyone wouldn't make a difference," I said, exhausted by the nightmare and Edward's probing.

He was mad, I could tell. Standing up, he glowered at me.

"It makes a difference to me that you are suffering." His eyes were hard, but the emotion in his voice was raw, clear as glass.

"You can't help me on this one," I gave him a pained smile, wrapping my blanket around myself tighter. "I have to fight my own battles."

From the way he was looking at me, I could tell he was feeling sorry for me.

"Don't worry, Edward. It'll go with time, isn't that what they say?" I said, my eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember the saying.

"Ah, yes. Time heals all wounds, right?" I said, but I think he saw straight through my little act.

He shook his head sadly, looking at me with compassionate eyes. "No, not all." Moving closer, he sat down next to me on the side of the bed, leaving a comfortable distance between us.

"It's not always that easy," he continued. "Sometimes, you have to let someone else help, not because you're not strong enough or because you can't find your way, but because everyone needs someone to come and take their worries away," he said, moving his hand to cover mine, grasping it lightly, his wedding band warm to touch.

"Is there something…anything that I can do help?" He asked, looking down in his lap away from me.

Stay with me so that I know you're there. Wake me when I dream those terrible dreams. Hold my hand when my heart thunders with fear.

Murmur soothingly in my ear when my thoughts are whirling. Stay so that I'm not scared to close my eyes.

I wanted to play it off, say that there was nothing he could do for me. My heart wouldn't let me, but neither would my mind let me say what I wanted to.

"Will you answer me honestly if I asked you a question?" I asked, feeling suddenly bold.

"Anything," he whispered, kissing my hair.

My confidence faltered at the free reign he had given me. For a minute, I contemplated asking him about his mother, but I had learnt the hard way that the topic was a sensitive one. Shaking my head, I cleared my throat, now uncertain about my right to ask the question.

"Just ask me, Bella," Edward urged with his uncanny ability to judge my emotions.

"I guess it's none of my business, but I have to know. Edward, about Tanya – were you both ever together?" I asked, cringing at how I sounded.

Edward's hand on top of mine tensed, and I fought against the urge to slide under the blanket.

"We were," Edward said, his tone hesitant. I tightened my free arm around myself as a bitter feeling passed over me. I knew what it was. Jealousy. My dream had brought it all into perspective.

A part of me wanted to ask how serious they were, but I stopped myself by biting the inside of my cheek.

"Were you both together when you asked me to marry you?" My voice was small, I wasn't sure I even wanted to hear the answer. _Please say no, Edward._

His eyes snapped to mine in an instant, surprise and aggravation in equal measure. "Of course not!" He exclaimed. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

Inward, I breathed a sigh of relief. So then, it wasn't me who broke it up for them.

"Sorry," I said, somewhat sheepishly. "I wanted to be sure…" I trailed off.

Edward sighed, his hand leaving mine to run through his hair, I clasped my hands together to ignore the tingling feeling where his hand had been.

"Bella, she meant a lot to me. She still does," he paused, and I looked down feeling like I was living my dream again. "She was my first girlfriend, but she's been a very close friend always. After some time, things just didn't work out and we split. We wanted different things from life, and I was, well, too rash for her taste back then. It didn't end well. Tanya was determined to not end our relationship."

But hadn't Edward changed since then, and what if she wanted him even now? I had felt uneasy under her stare at breakfast today. Maybe she still hadn't let Edward go after all these years.

"Anyway, we both have matured since then and our relationship is a thing of the past," he said, staring pointedly at me, making sure he had conveyed his point.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I apologized, knowing from his frown that he was frustrated…maybe even a little annoyed at my questioning.

"I don't know why but at breakfast I felt that there was more to your relationship, that maybe I had intruded. I would have never forgiven myself if I was responsible for getting in between you two. I had to know," I ended in a whisper, wondering why I was even telling him all this.

"I understand," Edward said, his voice closer than I had expected. I turned towards him, surprised at finding myself nose to nose with him, his eyes a soft green.

In such close proximity, his scent was overwhelming. I wanted to move back to relieve myself from the power he had on me, but I couldn't. After all, his gaze held me still.

"Now, will you answer me honestly if I asked you a question?" He asked, repeating my words, his intense eyes locked on mine.

Confused, I stared on. "Yes," I said, wondering what in the world he wanted to know about.

"How can I help you with your nightmares?" He asked, still staring into my eyes.

I blanched at his question; it was not something that I had expected. My eyes darted away to gain my equilibrium, what was I to say to him?

I ducked my face, not wanting to meet his eyes. His warm fingers touched my chin, raising it gently until I was at eye level with him.

"There's something, isn't there?" He said slowly, realization filtering into his voice.

I knotted my fingers anxiously in my lap as he held my chin steady. Putting a hand on top of mine, he stilled my fidgeting.

"Tell me." He ordered, moving closer till our noses were touching.

"Will you," I closed my eyes in mortification, "stay with me?"

When I opened my eyes, Edward's face was set in determination. He stood suddenly, snatching his hand from mine before leaving the room.

"Edward." I whispered to the empty room. I should have known. I had pushed him too far, why had I even voiced what I wanted to him?

Of course, he would be upset, what sort of a request was this?

Why did I even ask him when I knew the answer would be no?

I put my face in my hands.

I looked up abruptly when Edward walked back into the room. This time with a pillow and blanket. Without a word to me, he walked to the couch and dropped the bedding on it.

I gaped open-mouthed as he removed his shoes, then his shirt. Pulling the blanket over him, he laid his head on the pillow.

"Edward?" I asked, shocked.

"Bella, honestly, that's it?" He fumed from his position. "Why was that so hard for you to tell me? I know I'm not the easiest person to talk to, but I think after all this time you should be frank enough to talk to me. Jesus, you're my wife!"

I shivered at the way he referred to me as his wife. Definitely not a good sign.

"Edward-" I started, but was cut off by him.

"I want to sleep, Bella. Maybe you should too," he said, the hint of petulance in his voice making my lips curl up unexpectedly.

We were both quiet, the dark room housing the sounds of our breathing and occasional movements.

"Edward?" I whispered, unsure if he was asleep yet.

"Hmm," he mumbled.

I took a deep breath before letting it out. "I'll come with you to the party tomorrow."

"You don't own me anything," he said, his voice clearer.

"I wasn't asking you, Edward. I was telling you," I said haughtily, frankly a little surprised at myself.

He let out a sleepy chuckle. "Night, Bella," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Night, Edward."

After so many helpless nights that seemed like forever, this was the first night where I fell asleep with a smile on my face - knowing I was safe. Knowing that he would hear me.

* * *

**A/N: Progress? Or not? I know most of you hated Tanya in the last chapter, any theories about her? And what do you think will happen at Aro's party – E& B's first public appearance as husband and wife?**

**Let me know cause' I'm eager to hear it. Please do review – it's always great to hear what you guys think!**

**I'll post up the teasers for the next chapter on the thread when I'm close to getting it done.**

**Thanks for reading! Next update: Two weeks.**


	22. Chapter 20  A Night of Shocks

**Hey guys,**

**Thanks for the reviews and most of all for continuing to read. I'm updating late tonight, but just got back from a long day of work. Thanks to OTD673, who did a grand job with the betaing.**

**Sorry for the delay, my mind was too crowded for me to write any faster. If it's any consolation, this chapter is a longer one and…a more dramatic one. Hope you like it!  
**

* * *

**Recap: **

_I took a deep breath before letting it out. "I'll come with you to the party tomorrow."_

_"You don't own me anything," he said, his voice clearer._

_"I wasn't asking you, Edward. I was telling you," I said haughtily, frankly a little surprised at myself._

_He let out a sleepy chuckle. "Night, Bella," he said, his voice muffled by the pillow._

_"Night, Edward."_

_After so many helpless nights that seemed like forever, this was the first night where I fell asleep with a smile on my face - knowing I was safe. Knowing that he would hear me._

**As always you can find the summary for the previous chapter in the chapter titled summaries.**

**Chapter 20 - A Night of Shocks**

This night was different. I wouldn't say that I slept peacefully. Maybe it was just a habit now, but I found myself waking at erratic hours throughout the night. Reflecting back, every night I was wakened regularly by my nightmares. No, tonight was definitely different. Strangely, I didn't have any nightmares at all.

I wasn't naïve enough to believe that my nightmares wouldn't be back to haunt me, that the terror of that unforgivable night had washed away. The thundering heartbeats were still present in my chest as I stared up at the ceiling, the darkness frightening.

But then there were his breaths. His deep, long breaths that told me he was here. He was with me. That he would be close enough to stop the darkness from engulfing me completely. Maybe night wasn't so bad if he was close.

My thoughts drifted to Thea's words, "Edward is not a patient man, but he is kind man." No, definitely not a patient man, I thought, smiling ruefully in the dark.

Thea was right though, he was a good man. Of course, he was terrible at expressing himself. I shook my head, thinking back to how he had reacted when I had told him that I wanted him to stay with me. He was impulsive, hot-tempered, almost like a child but his heart was in the right place. I could tell.

My eyes, now adjusted to the dark, wandered in his direction. He was deeply asleep, lying on his stomach with his arm dangling over the edge of the sofa. His shiny, clean hair lay in a tousled mess across his forehead. _He's handsome, too_, a voice in my mind whispered.

Yes, he was excruciatingly handsome. In the moonlight filtering through the sheer curtains, he was silent and serene. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath as he slept aloof to the world. He nuzzled his pillow before sighing as though he realized subconsciously that tomorrow would bring a new rush of complications.

Tomorrow. I blinked up at the ceiling. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? My stomach clenched uncomfortably as Aro's wicked face flickered in my mind. I would see him tomorrow, someone who might be plotting on how to bring Edward down. Someone who had quite possibly played a hand in my elimination from Paxiou. My dream job. My most cherished obligation. All of it had slipped through my fingers like water.

Deep in my heart, I wanted to work. Although Edward wouldn't think I needed it, the reality was that I did. So much. Staying at home made me feel too dependent on Edward. I wanted to be able to shoulder my own expenses, to be able to stand on my own feet.

All this thinking had brought me to one question…Who in the world would want to hire someone like me? My name had been played well by the media over the past few days. Employing me would mean unwanted attention. Besides, even if someone gave me a job how would I know if the preference was due to the fact that I was Edward's wife.

Sometimes, I just felt as though I was getting tied up tighter in my web of problems. New issues kept sprouting up before I even finished dealing with the earlier ones.

Edward turned in his sleep, groaning softly. I sighed, thinking that I did need at least a few more hours of sleep before I could face tomorrow. I closed my eyes once again, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.

After all, who knew what plans fate had for the two of us.

~x~x~x~x~

The next morning, I woke to a dark sky. Over the past few days, the weather had been deteriorating and frequent showers had become the norm. I wrinkled my nose in distaste, sighing as I realized we wouldn't be getting any sun today.

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, but as last night came back to me my eyes shot to the couch. The sheets lay in a tangled mess along with a crumpled pillow, but there was no sign of Edward. It was only 9:10 a.m., but Edward seemed to have left already. I climbed out of bed and made my way towards the washroom.

Downstairs, Thea greeted me with a bright smile. "Good morning, Mia!"

"Good morning, Thea. Have you seen, Edward?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Nope," said Thea, popping up the 'p'.

Gone again.

"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered, moving to take my seat at the table.

A few moments later, I stood in my room, hopelessly staring at my lacking wardrobe. I shook my head despondently as I realized that there was nothing that was even remotely suitable for tonight. I sat on the bed, putting my hands in my face as I thought about how Edward was always impeccably dressed. Maybe Tanya should have been the one going with him tonight, not me. I frowned in annoyance at the bitter taste that thought left behind.

"Bella?" Thea said, knocking the door.

"Yes," I said from between my fingers.

"I've got Edward on the phone for you."

I jumped from the bed, taking the phone from Thea with an over-grateful smile. Thea grinned, winking before walking off.

Ok, well, maybe I should have reigned in my enthusiasm.

"Edward?" I said, hitting my head with my hand as I realized starting with hello would have been a better idea.

"Bella." There was a smile in his voice despite it being ever serious.

"How's it going?" I tried to say nonchalantly, but rolled my eyes at how non-casual I sounded.

"The usual. Thank you," Edward said politely, but I heard the amusement in his voice rising. I could almost see his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Yourself?" Edward asked no doubt out of common courtesy.

"Very well. Thanks." I hoped he heard the true meaning behind my words, what I was really thanking him for.

Then we both went silent. Like we often did.

"I'm glad we talked," he started, and just by his voice I could tell that he was uncomfortable. Since when had he begun to seem so transparent?

"I'm glad too," I said, my voice reassuring but honest. Somehow I could tell he that knew that despite his silence.

"And…thank you for staying with me last night," I added. It was hard to admit it to him, but I wanted him to know that I didn't take his care for granted.

"Well," Edward said, clearing his throat, "you better get used to having me around. I'll warn you I've been accused of being a snorer," Edward said, lightening the mood.

I smiled. "I didn't hear you last night."

"Must be your ears," Edward said in a mock-serious voice. My smile broadened. I caught my reflection in the mirror, looking at my face. My cheeks so ripe with color, my eyes with their shining brightness. At a woman, I thought I once knew.

"Bella? Are you listening to me?" Edward asked.

"Huh?"

"I was asking you if you needed to get something to wear for tonight?" I turned away from the mirror.

"I…yes," I said hesitantly, the last thing I wanted to sound like was a needy wife, but let's face it nothing I had would have been suitable for tonight.

"Okay, I'll come back at four then I can take you out to get a dress," Edward said. "Or if you prefer going by yourself I can send Franco," he added, sounding uncertain.

"No, that's fine, Edward. I prefer you." I said without a thought…and then bit my tongue as I heard how I sounded. I banged my head on the closet door silently.

"I meant I prefer to go with you," I hastily corrected myself.

"Right." Edward said, but I could see him with his lips pressed together to hold his laughter.

"I'll see you then," I said mortified, eager to get off the phone.

"See you at four."

I waited for him hang up first, but I could still hear him breathing. Could this get any more awkward?

"Bella?"

"Hmm."

"I'm glad I stayed with you last night." And then the phone clicked.

I stared at the phone with a hopeless smile. I shook my head. Oh Edward, what am I going to do with you?

I opened the door and Thea quickly moved back from the door. She looked at me innocently.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Thea?" I said.

"I was just wondering if you wanted lunch yet?" She said meekly.

"Later, please." I said with narrowed eyes still in place.

"Okay," she shrugged, walking away like she hadn't been hearing Edward and my conversation.

I shut the door. God, she was so exasperating.

Then I shook my head, smiling. I still liked her anyway.

~x~x~x~x~

I was waiting for Edward by the door at four. He was twenty two minutes late when he finally arrived. I shoved down the urge to tell him he was late and exactly by how much.

"Sorry, I'm late," he said sheepishly, shocked to see me waiting by the door.

"It's okay," I said half-heartedly. I mentally scolded myself for not realizing how there were much more important things at work than me. He was stressed due to the deal Aro was trying to strike with the other company, and he was working overtime. The least I could do was be considerate.

He was fiddling with a white rectangular box, looking down and turning it over again and again.

"What's that?" I asked, distracted.

"Something I saw," he answered cryptically, still looking down.

I stared at him with confused eyes for a few seconds before he looked up.

"Something that caught me eye while I was driving home." I continued to stare at him, still not understanding. "I thought I'd get it for you," he clarified.

He looked flustered as he hurriedly handed me the box. I stole a glance at him as I took a seat; he was still not looking at me. I looked down and opened the package.

Inside there was a royal blue satin dress. It was beautiful with all soft hues. I skimmed my finger tips over the fine material. It was…just right. I had no doubt that Edward had spent a fortune.

"You hate it. God, I knew it." Edward said suddenly, startling me.

"I love it." I said, looking up at him. Edward didn't seem to have heard me.

"I'm such a fool. What do I know about what women wear?" He was pacing across the room. "You know what, let's forget it. We'll go and get you another dress."

"Edward," I said.

He was still in his own world, pacing frantically. "I don't what I was thinking. This was a bad idea. And I kept you waiting."

"Edward," I said again, much louder. This time I caught his attention, and he stopped.

"I love it. Thank you," I said sincerely, looking him in the eye.

He had a deer-in-headlights look on his face. That's how surprised he was.

"Oh," he said, blinking. It was comical looking at him so riled up, and I had to try hard to stifle my laughter at his expression.

"Maybe you should see if it fits. I just guessed your size," Edward said, looking like he was ready to bolt right at this second.

"I will. I'll let you know if it doesn't," I said, unable to hold my smile back.

"Alright then," he said, composing himself. "I think we should get going by seven."

"Okay."

"Okay."

He shook his head before going upstairs.

Who cares about him being patient? He sure knows how to be cute as hell, I thought, still smiling.

I frowned at my line of thought. Shaking my head, I stood. "Let's try this dress, shall we?" I murmured to myself.

Apparently, Edward's guess was more than accurate. I turned one way then another as I examined myself in the mirror. The dress fit perfectly, and although it probably sounded cliché it seemed like it was made for me.

For once, I looked graceful and…beautiful. So not myself.

There was one problem though, the straps draped over my shoulders delicately but left a large part of my neck and arms exposed. Way more than I was comfortable showing. It was not that the dress had a low-neck or was vulgar in any way, it was just that I didn't feel right going in public like this. This was not who I was or at least who I had become.

Thea was impatiently waiting outside for me to show her the dress. When I opened the door, she gushed endlessly about how well it suited me.

"You look so wonderful. Edward is going to lose his mind tonight." I liked her sense of humor.

Still not too sure, I expressed my discomfort to Thea who listened intently. I was embarrassed to tell her how I felt, but she was too warm by nature to let anyone feel awkward.

"Let me see." She rushed to my closet and stared around. After much deliberation, she picked a light cream crochet cardigan. She held it against me and twisted her mouth in contemplation.

"This is perfect," she said brightly. I tried on the cardigan and looked at the mirror.

It would do for tonight

~x~x~x~x~

Edward was gawking. In a pretty obvious way. If I may say so, he looked incredibly handsome himself in his black suit and crisp white shirt. His tie was untied and around his collar. In fact, he was in the process of tying it when we both sort of ran into each other

"At least shut your mouth," Thea whispered to Edward as she passed by, a triumphant smile on her face.

Edward abruptly shut his mouth, looking away. "You look great, Bella," he said, sounding awed if I was not mistaken.

"Thanks," I replied, wanting to say the same, but chickening out at the last moment.

Edward was driving today. Apparently Franco didn't like Aro anymore than Edward did. Edward seemed to tense up as we got closer to the venue of the party. His tie was fisted in his hand, fingers gripping the steering wheel.

I decided to give Edward the space he needed and remained quiet throughout the rest of ride. However, as time passed I felt myself responding to Edward's mood, feeling more anxious by the moment. When we reached the location, my heart was beating loudly in my chest.

I blinked in disbelief at the scene in front of me. There. Were. So. Many. Reporters.

My breathing quickened. Edward placed his hand on my knee.

"Bella, look at me."

My helpless, anxious eyes found his sure ones. He had a determined, fierce look on his face.

"It's going be alright. Don't pay attention to them. Just…relax, okay? Bella…breathe.'"

I sucked in a short breath focusing only on the green of his eyes. "Remember Bella, he's trying to mess with you, he's trying to find the holes so he can dig the craters. I'm right here with you, I promise I won't let them get to you."

Edward was staring deeply into my eyes. I couldn't find any words to say.

"Bella…do you trust me?"

I nodded mutely, seeing the fear in my eyes reflected by the worry on his face.

"Then hang on to me for tonight."

Edward stepped out of the car, and came around to my side – my eyes carefully tuned to his confident stride. He held the door open for me to step out, and as soon as I did, a thousand clicks seemed to have started.

I felt blinded by the bright lights that flashed at me and my feet stumbled as I struggled to see. Edward grasped me firmly, holding me upright before slipping an easy arm around me. He ushered me quickly through the maze of flickers and paparazzi. I hung on to him tightly, too afraid to get lost in the crowd.

Edward's anger flared as we realized that the reporters were following us. Finally, Edward dragged me into the middle of a really tightly packed dance floor.

Edward whispered something in my ear but I was all too aware of his arms around me to make any sense of his words. My heart was pounding in my ears, and I was sure Edward could feel it due to how tightly he held me to him. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his shoulder, blocking out everything else but him.

He swayed with me in his arms, moving my body with his in a graceful dance.

"Bella, talk to me," Edward whispered in my ear, tightening his grip on my waist, while the hand on my back pulled me closer. I didn't think he realized what he was doing.

I could feel his soft hair against my cheek, and I leaned into them. I shook my head, not in any mood to say anything.

I was so lost in his embrace that it took me by surprise when he twirled me around. Once I was back in his arms, I frowned up at him.

"Gotta keep up the appearances," Edward said, shrugging while smiling lightly.

I couldn't help but return his smile. He danced lightly, fluidly across the floor with his arms firmly around me.

"I can't believe I'm dancing," I said conversationally.

Edward widened his eyes. "Neither can I." I smacked his arm lightly. Edward chuckled at my action.

"Can I cut in?" I looked up to see Tanya in a long, silky ice blue gown looking so gorgeous that it should have been criminal for her to look so good.

She smiled brightly, big blue eyes twinkling. Knowing I couldn't lay a claim on an Edward, I began to step away to make space for her – doing the right thing. Before I could move away any further, Edward hands clamped down on my waist.

"No, Tanya. Not now." Edward said, sounding hostile. I looked up at him, surprised at his tone. Tanya eyes narrowed at him.

"You're still mad at me about yesterday?" She asked, folding her arms, eyeing Edward speculatively.

"Of course not," Edward said, shaking his head, but even I could tell he was lying.

"You're so full of shit. You have to know I only want what's good for you. I've always wanted what's good for you," her voice ended in a whisper with pained eyes. She sent a swift glance my way. I lowered my eyes, knowing deep down that their argument was about me.

"I know that," Edward said, frowning at Tanya with a confused look on his face.

"Anyway," said Tanya, "Keep in mind that the Ronald Huntington will be coming in today. You have to score that deal, so keep your damned cool," she said in a hushed voice with a meaningful look. "Don't let anything personal get between you and that deal." She said the last part with her eyes on me.

She walked away, and I looked up at Edward. "She really hates me," I blurted.

Edward shook his head, "It's not you, she just has issues she needs to deal with," he said, looking distracted and upset.

All too suddenly Edward stiffened, and I felt the muscles under my hand bunch. Shocked, I looked up at his face. His jaw was clenched tightly and his eyes were on fire. His hands on my waist fisted in my sweater.

"Edward…what?" I said touching his chest, looking up at him in confusion, but he wasn't even paying attention to me. I followed his line of sight to see what had him so agitated.

That was when my eyes fell on Aro Volturi.

He had a smile on his face, his eyes ignoring everyone but Edward. As I watched the smile became something else; something that was more menacing, more…malicious. I could see a strange dark humor lurking in his eyes as though he was mocking us.

But then his eyes slid across Edward landing on me. I felt a shiver run down my spine as he smiled angelically at me. And that's when I felt Edward respond.

"Why that fucker!" Edward hissed, jerking forward. As though it was instinct, I grabbed Edward's jacket.

"No, Edward, don't," I whispered so that no one besides us could hear me. When I looked up, Aro was grinning, appearing pleased by Edward's anger.

I was still holding Edward, and his face was dark with rage. "Edward?" I shook him lightly to get him to say something. When he turned towards me, his eyes were crazed and I almost felt as though he was looking right through me. Feeling chilled by his expression, I shook him hard.

"Edward?"

As he stared at me blankly, I had the unsettling feeling that Edward would explode or do something impulsive that would cost him later so I grasped his hand and pulled him to a table. Sitting next to him, I held his hand in my lap trying to coax something out of him that would tell me what was responsible for his unexplainable reaction.

After a few minutes, Edward finally spoke. "He had a hand in it."

I knew what he was talking about, so I squeezed his hand to urge him on even though I shuddered on the inside to hear any more.

"I always suspected that he had played a role in this media mess, but today," he paused, closing his eyes. "Today the way he looked at you confirmed it for me."

"I have no doubt now that he was the one that circulated that picture and got the Mallorys to believe that you were responsible for me calling off the deal."

Edward put his elbows on his knees, and began to pull on his hair. "God, this is so fucked up."

"What are you going to do now?" I asked in a quiet voice.

"To be honest I can't stand staying in this place for another minute. But I can't leave yet, the other company we are trying to strike a deal with is here as well. If I left now, Masen & Cullen could incur a large loss."

Edward was quiet, but now that I had heard his company's name again, all I could think about was the Masen in it. Masen. That was Edward's mother's last name, wasn't it? But Edward was a Cullen. So did that mean Edward got his last name from his father?

After Edward had cooled down a bit, he introduced me to a few important people from other companies. Most of them were warm and kind, offering us a hearty congratulations. Some even wished us a long and happy married life, how little they knew about the reality of life. Why couldn't everyone be this understanding?

Throughout the introductions, I kept a firm hold on Edward's arm, still afraid that he might end up picking up a fight with the Volturi brothers. However, it seemed that we couldn't stay away from Aro for long because as we turned away from an elderly couple we found ourselves face to face with Aro.

"Ah Edward!" Aro exclaimed joyfully, his face lit with childish excitement. It was sickening to see how much he much enjoyed taunting Edward.

Edward glared at him mutely before turning away to walk in another direction. Aro was faster and moved quickly to intercept Edward's path.

"Not so fast," he said, in his smooth voice. "Surely long-term acquaintances like us deserve a second look."

"I'm not getting into this now, Aro," Edward said through his teeth.

"Ah…you remind so much of your mother sometimes. Same bright, fiery spirit. It's really a shame she isn't among us anymore." My head snapped up as I heard Aro's words. What?

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind as I thought back to Thea's words when she had told me the room belonged to Elizabeth Masen. At that the time, I had wondered why she had used past tense in referring to Elizabeth. It had not even crossed my mind for a minute that she was dead…

I felt dazed, it was no wonder that Edward had been so calm when we had talked about his family that lived in a close-by state, his birth mother was not the one he had been referring to. It wasn't the one whose room he had been so sensitive about. Edward's reaction about the closed room made so much more sense now. There was so much I didn't know, but Edward probably had never considered me close enough to confide in me.

"You must be Isabella." Aro's voice brought me to the present. I looked up to find him staring at me in an odd way; it was almost as though he knew me. He touched my cheek with his fingers, and I cowered from the cold, frigid touch.

Edward had Aro's wrist in a tight grip within the blink of an eye; his eyes were cold as he stared Aro down.

"Don't. Ever. Touch. My. Wife." Edward enunciated each word separately, his gaze livid and menacing.

Aro laughed as though Edward had said something funny. "Oh come now, Edward. Surely you have thought me a bigger fool than I am. You must know me better."

"I know you very well, Aro. More than I would have ever liked to." Edward's gaze moved to me. "Bella, why don't you take a seat with Tanya?"

I gripped his arm tighter, trying to convey with my eyes that I thought this was a very bad idea. His gaze was unwavering, but I was not giving up this time. Or that's what I thought until he removed my hand from his arm.

"Go." It sounded dismissive, and it would have upset me had I not seen the worry lines on his forehead. I was about to protest, but he merely shook his head.

I made my way towards Tanya, still worried about Edward. Tanya was on the phone, and she smiled politely at me. I tried to signal that Edward was getting into something with Aro, but she was too engrossed in her conversation and kept asking for a minute. I looked helplessly around, wishing that Franco would appear somehow.

A cell phone on the table began to ring. I looked up at Tanya, but she shrugged and walked away while still on the phone. I frowned in confusion, why would someone want to leave their cell phone unguarded like this in a public place. The phone stopped ringing, but then began to ring again.

Annoyed by the ringing and restless with worry, I clicked the answer button on the phone.

"Hello. I'm afraid -" I stopped as the person on the other side of the line interrupted me.

"Hello, Bella" I gasped involuntarily, and my eyes flickered straight ahead. And, in the mirror over the drinks bar, I saw the one person that I had hoped to never see again.

With the same sharp blond bob cut and unmistakable ruby lips, Lauren Mallory's reflections smiled wickedly at me.

"Long time no see," she murmured, her lips twisting into her characteristic smirk.

* * *

**What do you think Edward and Aro talking about? Does Edward's behavior around Aro seem peculiar to you in some way? Should Bella pursue a job? How do you think the party will end and will it impact E & B's relationship?**

**Let me know. I can't tell you how much I look forward to hearing back from you guys. It really helps me see things in ways I never would have by myself. So please, don't forget to leave me a review, even a few words about what you thought would mean a lot. **

**Next update: Two weeks approx. (fingers crossed)**


	23. Chapter 21 The Beginning of Intimacy

**Hello friends,**

**Where do I start? Well, firstly thank you for reading the story and for all your gracious reviews. It's humbling to see how much some of you enjoy the story. Trust me it's what makes me write.**

**I apologize for the delay with this chapter and not being able to reply to your reviews. It comes down to everything from a virus that apparently attacked my hard disc to the computer guy taking my laptop for repairing. I have to keep sneaking in my younger brother's laptop to post this chapter. I promise you I've read each of the reviews, and I thank you for the time you take to share your thoughts.**

**Thanks to Anna for betaing this chapter. **

**I'll warn you guys that this next chapter will have some intimacy. My approach to it might make take you by surprise. **

* * *

Recap: _"Hello, Bella." I gasped involuntarily, and my eyes flickering straight ahead. And in the mirror over the drinks bar I saw the one person that I had hoped to never see again._

_With the same sharp blond bob cut and unmistakable ruby lips, Lauren Mallory's reflection smiled wickedly at me._

"_Long time no see," she murmured, her lips twisting into her characteristic smirk._

**_Previous chapter summary in Chapter 16 - A/N Summaries for all chapters._**

**Chapter 21 -The Beginning of Intimacy**

Words were frozen at my lips. I stared in shock, as Lauren raised her wine glass and sipped.

"Surprised?" She asked, revealing a perfect set of gleaming white teeth.

Her face twisted in anger, eyes daring. "Did you think I would forget?"

I swallowed unsteadily. My mind was being pulled in two directions. Should I try to find out her intentions or should I find Edward?

"What do you want?" I said, my voice hoarse.

"I want that deal back, Bella. I want all the money that I lost back. I want to get rid of all the negative publicity this fake _marriage_ of yours has created," she paused, glowering at me from the distance.

"Tell me, can you give it back?" She asked.

I said nothing. I could see she was still angry about something I had never done. What was I to say to someone who wasn't ready to even listen to me?

"That's what I thought," she said sarcastically. "Marrying Edward can't hide the fact that you were a mole in the company. You convinced him to drop the deal, and Paxiou is suffering because of you."

"I had nothing to do with that! How many times do I have to justify myself, Lauren? What benefit could I possibly get out of that?" I asked, pained by the fact that she wouldn't believe my innocence.

"You're already reaping the benefits. You're a smart little thing. I see it all now. You talked Edward into marrying you. You're a millionaire's wife at the end of the day! What more could you have asked for?" She said, shaking her head in disgust.

I felt my face crumble as I realized how low she thought of me. All my hard work for the company didn't even seem to count. My heart broke as I saw how easy it was to her to say such hurtful things, to lay such baseless claims, to portray me as someone who used Edward. How little she knew of me, I thought as tears of hurt clouded my eyes.

"What's wrong? Is the truth too bitter for you to hear, Bella Swan?" She said condescendingly. "I wanted him to suffer so much for all he took from me, but you both turned the game around and made me look like the villain who was stopping the two love birds from getting together."

I choked as I heard the meaning behind her words, "You played a role in all that media buzz?" I uttered in disbelief of her audacity.

"You both deserved it," she said furiously. "But…you both think you're so smart. Well, not for long. How long do you think Edward will help you put up this drama?"She stopped, suddenly letting out a laugh.

"Someone like you could never hold Edward's interest for long. It's a shame he left someone like Tanya Denali. You don't hold a flame to her," she paused, letting her words rub my sore heart. Her eyes raked over my outfit. "And the type of clothes you wear can't change who you are," she said mockingly.

I could pretend that her words didn't mean anything to me. But they did strike a cord, one that really hit my deeply grounded insecurities.

"Edward loves me. He would never leave me," I said angrily. I paused then, thinking over my abrupt words, shocked to see myself say something I didn't believe, but something I desperately wanted to be true.

It didn't matter, I thought, perhaps it was the smart thing to say.

"You really don't believe that. I can see it in your eyes." Lauren said, smirking.

Her smugness provoked my vulnerability. I gritted my teeth in frustration and anger.

"Lauren, I don't care what you think. The only thing that matters is that I played no part in the deal. You're right; the truth can't hide for long. And before long, you'll realize I'm innocent. At the end of the day, you lost an honest employee. Whether it was money or honesty, you lost both ways. I know you don't see it right now, and maybe you never will. Whatever happens I know I don't need to fear you because I haven't done anything to deserve your wrath.

And as far as Edward and I go, nothing is set in stone. Maybe we won't last. Maybe we will. I don't know what's in store for us, but I know whatever happens won't change the fact that I can always trust Edward with my life. The marriage might seem fake to you, but it was never fake for me. I will stand by my vows, and I know Edward will stand by his. Nothing you say can change that," I ended with a deep breath.

Removing the phone from my ear, I clicked the End Call button. Closing my eyes, I clasped my hands together. When I opened my eyes, feeling a new sense of determination, I met Lauren's gaze with my meaningful one. I stood up and without another look in her direction I headed to the place where I had left Edward.

~x~x~x~x~

Edward and Aro were nowhere to be seen. My heart started to pound in my ears as I remembered the fury I had seen in Edward's eyes. I turned, desperately searching, worried that I had missed him when he needed me most.

My hands trembled as I searched for my phone in my purse. Quickly, I dialed Edward's number, murmuring a quiet prayer that he hadn't lost his cool and done something impulsive.

Edward didn't pick his phone and the call was forward to the answering machine. My heart skipped a beat as I realized Edward would have picked up my phone unless he was in real trouble.

Recognizing the urgency of the situation, I searched frantically for Edward, but not once did I see him. Tired and scared beyond measure, I headed towards the parking lot in hopes that he would be here.

I was not disappointed when I saw him there. What shocked me was not the look of utter rage on his face. Sure, Edward's face was red with fury, but what scared me was the look of suffering on his face. Unable to resist, I hurried towards Aro and him. My feet stopped mid-step when I heard Aro's harsh words.

"You can't change who you are. You have that same filthy blood running through your veins."

Edward's eyes flared, and he pulled on Aro's collar.

"Fuck you!"

"Now, now, Edward, not like this. It's not your fault who you are," Aro said, as he removed Edward's hands. "Either way, it doesn't matter since we know by all measures that someone like you is considered an illegal child by our society."

"I haven't forgotten what I am, Aro," Edward said with a bitter laugh "and it would be best for if you don't forget your place either."

"You look like her so much when you're angry. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

"Shut the hell up, Aro. I don't have anything to do with that woman. Don't drag her into this."

"Ah, Edward, how can I not? She is your mother, never forget that," Aro said in a sick saccharine tone.

"She was never my mother. To be a mother, she would have to love me. She hated me," Edward's voice had changed with some of the anger being displaced by the feeling of rejection.

I stood paralyzed in the shadows, knowing I shouldn't eavesdrop on things I shouldn't know, but my feet wouldn't move, and my voice was stuck in my throat.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter," Edward said suddenly, the anger back. "Keep yourself out of my life. And stay away from Bella. I don't like repeating myself, Aro. Don't make me."

Aro let out another childish laugh. "How can I do that, Edward? You changed my life, don't you remember that? Or should I say that you snatched from me the life I could have had? You destroyed it for me and Elizabeth by merely existing. You were a mistake, and you'll always be one," Aro said in a pitiful voice.

Edward was silent, and Aro taking this as an opportunity continued, "You took what I wanted from me, Edward. Now it's my turn, and I promise you I'll enjoy every minute of taking you down." Gone was the childish tone of Aro's voice, taking a turn for menacing and his expression made me feel numb inside.

"Besides, I know exactly what happened that night," Aro added, with a smile.

Edward's eyes flashed up to Aro's, and he tried to tackle situation.

"Nothing ever happened, Aro. Honestly, you need to quit trying to make something out of nothing," Edward said in such a convincing tone that I would have believed him had I not known better.

"You know it's actually kind of cute seeing you trying to protect that wife of yours."

"Aro, seriously, stop trying to -" Edward started, but was interrupted by Aro.

"Really Edward, who do you think submitted the pictures to the newspapers?"

Edward face twisted in disgust and anger. "You are such a…"

"I know." Aro smirked, and I gaped at his audacity. "Who knew it would be so beneficial to have you followed around in Seattle," Aro said delightedly, but then sighed.

"I actually feel sorry for Isabella. The poor thing got dragged into this mess for nothing. It was unbelievable easy to fill Lauren's ears. Lord, she is so gullible." Aro tsked.

In a bout of anger, Edward slammed Aro against the wall at the same time that I finally choked his name out.

"Edward!"

His face whipped around suddenly, his eyes meeting mine with anger. For the longest time I stared at him, frozen in shock by the words I had heard, and I wondered if I even really knew the husband that was standing in front of me now.

~x~x~x~x~

Edward was quiet during the drive back home, but his expression told me that he was boiling with anger inside.

Midway Edward broke the silence with his curt question. "How much did you hear?"

I stared at my hands in a daze, trying to formulate an answer. "Enough to know that Aro's anger goes way beyond me."

Edward's lip twisted up in a sneer. "You were just a pawn in this master plan of his. Shame, isn't it?"

"Clearly, he holds grudges for long," Edward added, almost like an after thought.

"He knew your mother," I ventured, knowing that this conversation couldn't wait for long. Living with Edward for the past few days had solidified the belief that he was an intensely private person, but I needed to know, if not for anything else, then for the sole reason that I was his wife and our situation was far from normal.

"Trust me, Bella, he did a lot more than just know my mother," Edward practically spat. I could tell by the way his fingers gripped the steering wheel that he was angry.

"Is he your father?" I blurted, cringing at my abruptness.

"No, he's not," Edward said, his eyes focused forward. Although Edward he replied in a deadly quiet tone, his answer revealed his breaking composure.

Then without turning his eyes away, he murmured, "I don't want to talk about this with you, Bella."

The dismissal in his voice stung unexpectedly. I felt my anger rise to the surface. What was Edward's problem? I was fed up of him trying to keep things from me. I was part of his life, and that was one truth he had to accept whether he liked it or not.

"I have a right to know," I replied defiantly.

Edward stepped on the brakes with more force than was required as he rolled into the parking stop in front of the house. He switched off the engine before turning towards me.

"Bella, this is my personal life, and I don't share it with anyone. Not even with you." He stared at me meaningfully before continuing, "The faster you understand this, the better it will be for both us."

With that he stepped out of the car and stormed into the house without looking back, leaving me behind in the dark night.

~x~x~x~x~

I angrily tugged at my earrings, before flinging them onto the dresser. Stomping around in my room, I pulled my zipper down to ease out of the dress. Stewing in anger, I paced around in my room trying as hard as I could to not focus on Edward's hurtful words.

A part of me understood Edward's privacy. I could see the need to protect himself in his demeanor. Edward didn't owe me anything, and I didn't owe him anything. No strings attached were part of the bargain, I thought bitterly.

My eyes caught my appearance in the mirror and Lauren's harsh words came to memory.

"_Someone like you could never hold Edward's interest for long. It's a shame he left someone like Tanya Denali. You don't hold a flame to her."_

Moving in closer, I regarded myself with disdain. I was all pale skin, dull brown eyes and long wavy hair.

_And dirty_, a voice in my mind whispered. Turning away from the mirror in disgust, I searched my wardrobe for a night dress to distract myself.

Clearly, I was no match for Tanya Denali with her beautiful blonde hair, vibrant blue eyes, and breathtaking presence, I thought as I pulled on a deep burgundy night dress. Lifting the covers, I got into bed.

Before I even laid my head down, a sickening crash sounded. Jumping at the abrupt sound, I hurriedly got out of the bed and rushed out of my room.

My first instinct was to check on Edward. I threw his door open without thinking, adrenaline pumping fast through my veins.

Fear replaced my anxiety when I saw his bed was empty. Knowing it was beyond my limits; I entered the room and hurried towards the washroom.

"Edward?" I called, knocking loudly. When I received no answer, I opened the door.

Still no Edward.

I proceeded to search through the rooms, but he wasn't in any one of them. Worried, I decided to call Thea to ask about Edward's whereabouts. However, thinking of disturbing her at this time of night, I changed my mind.

As I was about to head downstairs, my ears caught the sound of quiet footsteps. My eyes shot up, my vision zooming in on Elizabeth's room. Unable to stop myself, I headed towards the forbidden room in this house.

I drew in a sharp breath, as I noted the door was slight ajar. Elizabeth's room was open.

_Edward_. It had to be him. I reached for the door knob, but knowing better fisted my hand and moved it back. No, it wasn't my place, I thought. Turning my back to the door, I was about to head towards my room when I heard Edward hit the wall.

Whirling back, I pushed through the door and entered the room.

He was breathing hard, as he steadied himself on the wall. He didn't even look up at me. Inwardly, I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized he was okay. It was only a moment later that I realized that his gaze was riveted on the wall in front of us. Confused at the intensity in his gaze, I turned towards the wall. And that was when I first saw Elizabeth Masen.

It was surprising that I recognized her instantly, but there was no doubt in my mind when I met those sharp, sea-green eyes. They were Edward's eyes, a rare shade that I had never seen before him. Her gaze was piercing, penetrating in a way that left me feeling small and vulnerable.

The painting was one of the largest ones I had ever seen. And probably the most brilliant one I had seen in years. So real that it almost felt like Elizabeth was here amongst us right now. She was dressed in a regal, emerald velvet gown. Her pose powerful, her neck stiff as she held head elegantly. Her radiant bronze curls were tied tightly in a crown on the top of her head.

The most unsettling feeling the painting gave off was that of anger, and somewhere deep in Elizabeth's eyes was pain and loss. Although, Elizabeth's posture was strong, it was too stiff. Her face was soft, but something about the set of her mouth told me that she wasn't happy. She was angry, and…maybe even desperate. And while I gazed at her, it almost felt like she was trapped, trying to communicate but being unable to.

She was beautiful; there was no doubt in my mind where Edward got his good looks from.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Edward asked, breaking the silence.

I blinked at the picture, trying to shake out of my trance. It took only a brief pause for me to realize that Edward sounded all wrong. I looked at him then, and it struck me.

"You're drunk!" I exclaimed in shock, although it came out as an accusation.

Edward smiled, though there was nothing humorous about it. Raising his arms up, he said, "Yep, sure am."

Common sense told me that Edward was acting…quite off. "Edward, are you okay?" I asked, reaching out for him.

He shook his head and moved back out of reach. "Of course, look at me. I've ne'er been better," he said, twirling around. He lost his balance suddenly and crashed into the adjacent wall.

"Edward!"

"No, don't," Edward slurred as he pushed away from me. His eyes were red from tiredness and the alcohol. "You don' want me, Bella."

Then he chuckled mirthlessly as though he found something funny. "You never needed me."

"Edward, please. You know that's not true," I said, struggling with my words.

"Oh please, Bella. I make you…miserable. I…see it on your…face everyday," he wobbled over his words.

"Edward," I scolded, unable to help myself seeing how far he was from the truth. Didn't he see just how much I had begun to depend on him? True, it wasn't something I was proud of, but reality couldn't be changed.

"Edward, why are you here?" I gestured around the room. "In this room? You never come here…" I trailed off.

He leaned in towards me, whispering, "She enjoys it."

I stared at him, bewildered, "Who Edward?"

He turned around, staring at the mother that looked so much like him. "She does."

As he gazed at the painting with the innocence of a child it all began to make some sense. The realization was sickening. Edward thought his mother enjoyed watching him suffering. Repulsed by the thought, I moved back feeling unsteady.

"That could never be true, Edward," I whispered, horrified.

"Aro is right. I hate it when he reminds me who I am. I am a bastard," he said, letting out a chuckle. "And the worst part is that he doesn't even say it as a swear word."

Turning back to me, he gazed at me helplessly. His expression so utterly lost that something inside in me broke.

'It's just who I am," he slurred, shrugging as his eyes watered.

"Oh Edward," I murmured, taking him in my arms. I held him for long, not saying anything. It seemed as though words could never convey my feelings to him. Somewhere along the way, he began to respond, tightening his arms around me.

He moved out of my embrace suddenly, shaking his head frantically. "This…this, isn't right. You shouldn't come close to me."

I moved closer. "Edward, no-"

He moved further away, retreating. "This is wrong, Bella. You shouldn't want me…" He looked up at me all of sudden, his face strangely alert.

I shrunk back at his words. Was I that transparent with my feelings?

How could my feelings for Edward ever be wrong?

Why didn't I know that avoiding my feelings wouldn't make them disappear suddenly?

Shaking with vulnerability, I gazed at him, trying to understand what was right and what was wrong, to understand when the line had begun to blur…

"You just don't belong in my world, Bella," he said finally, and his words were laced with such clarity that it was hard to believe that he was drunk. "You never have."

"Edward-" I pleaded, not knowing what all this meant. Why was nothing making any sense?

"Go," he said, turning away from me to gaze into the night.

"Edward, you're upset-"

"I said go," he said, anger seeping into his voice.

"Edward!" My voice sounded indignant, demanding, like someone I didn't know.

Turning back to me, he glared. "I said leave," he yelled, tightening his hand around the wine glass.

The glass shattered, cutting his skin. "Ah," Edward groaned as blood stained his hand.

I inhaled sharply, moving to help him. He moved his hand away, looking down into my eyes.

"Edward, please. Let me help you," I said, upset that he was moving away from me, both literally and figuratively.

"Leave me alone, Bella. Just go," Edward said, shaking his head as he left the room, leaving _me_ alone again.

~x~x~x~x~

I couldn't sleep during the night that followed. My mind and heart were both relentless in their worry for Edward. Was he going to be okay? What if he tripped and fell down the stairs?

I refused to think over Edward's words, his feelings for himself and his sense of despair. Prior to tonight, I had always felt that no one could have had it as hard as I did. Edward was beginning to change my beliefs about that.

"_She was never my mother. To be a mother, she would have to love me. She hated me."_

I turned over. It was impossible to believe. No matter what happened, how could any mother hate her child? Surely Edward had it wrong. Maybe Edward's mother wasn't too fond of him, but it was impossible to think that any mother would enjoy watching her child suffer. Still Edward's beliefs seemed so deeply rooted, there had to be a story to it. And what had Edward meant when he said Aro did much more that know his mother. Were they business competitors? Were they enemies?

So many questions with no answers.

As my eyes wandered to the couch, I controlled the urge to check on Edward. After all, he said I shouldn't want him. Tears of humiliation sprang to my eyes. Why did he have to know? And after tonight, it seemed that he would never be here to protect me from nightmares, to wake me when my dreams threatened to swallow me whole.

Pushing my face into the pillow, I forced myself to give way to sleep.

Despite a restless sleep with lots of tossing and turning, I felt oddly rested when I woke the next morning. On impulse, my eyes shifted to the couch. Edward wasn't there, but his unmistakable duvet and pillow lay in a crumbled mess on the couch. I didn't rise to go search for him, knowing he wouldn't want me to.

Knowing he wouldn't have waited for me even if I had tried.

~x~x~x~x~

The next few days passed uneventfully. Perhaps I should have been happy that the regular drama was lacking, but I was anything but happy. Each passing day made me fall deeper in my own world. Edward retreated further, and time seemed to erect a growing barrier between the two of us.

Edward began to work longer hours. Usually, he had already left by the time I woke and occasionally, we had dinner together if he was home at time. It didn't change the fact that I waited for him everyday at dinner. A fact Thea knew and was increasingly upset about.

Sometimes I felt like I never knew Edward. Our conversations were always so brusque and to the point. Maybe I was being selfish, but I … needed him. And that he wasn't with me despite being here, hurt me. Sure Edward could be clipped and rude as hell, but behind his heavy armor was a good heart, one that I missed terribly when I was lonely and needed a shoulder to lean on.

I didn't know why I cared. I knew I didn't want to. Maybe it was my heart that refused to listen to the sensible part of me. I loved him, and I didn't know how to stop. I had hoped this new feeling would dissipate with our increasing distance. It didn't, it seemed to grow in his absence and every morning when I woke to see those crumbled covers on my couch.

The only time I spent at length with him was at night. He slept, and I watched. It may be absurd but seeing him in deep sleep helped put me to peace. It was at times like those that I felt closer to him, when he dropped his façade and succumbed to a wonderful sleep that I couldn't have. It was like he slept enough for both of us.

I hated feeling this way about Edward, knowing he was determined to keep me at a distance. At times, I wanted to thank him for being there for me at night, for waking me when my nightmares struck, but he was too far away despite being so close.

It was September in New York, and it had been six months since I had first met Edward. This year, surprisingly September had brought chilly winds and freezing rain with it. The rain kept me up all night as it was a bitter reminder of the hideous night, but Edward slept as peacefully as ever. It was the only thing that pulled me through the nights.

Thea's parents were unwell and so she had taken a temporary leave to look after them. Edward insisted that we hire a replacement, but I refused. Instead, I took it upon myself to start looking after the house. It was a wonderful opportunity to engage myself actively, and it would also give me some sense of independence. Edward had done so much for me, and I knew he would never accept money from me. This was the least I could do.

The house was spacious, and at times, being alone in it was challenging and downright terrifying. The mornings were manageable, but the nights were…difficult to say the least. Edward seemed to understand my unspoken discomfort and began arriving home earlier in the evenings.

This was not the case today. It was close to 9 p.m. and Edward hadn't even called. To make matters worse, there was a thunderstorm with heavy rain. For the past two hours, the news had aired repeated alerts cautioning against the bad weather and a possible power shortage. Frightened for Edward, I called him to check if he was okay.

His phone was switched off. Irrationally, I felt angry that he didn't even care to inform me when he would be back. I might not be a wife to him, but he was my husband. I began to get more worried as the sky lightened with thunder and the wind whistled.

By 12 a.m., I thought I was going to be sick. I tried to call Franco, Edward's office, even Tanya. The network connections were disrupted and the phone calls were not going through. Dressed for the night, I paced in front of the door, praying that Edward was alright.

Suddenly, the light went out as the lightening lit the sky. A second later the booming sound of thunder broke through. I shuddered, rubbing my arms to warm them as the heater turned off. I fisted my hands, scolding myself for being scared of being alone in the dark.

My confidence lasted for a mere second till a gust of wind pushed the window open sending a shower of freezing rain on me. I shivered, huddling back from the terrifying reminder of the attack. It had been raining then, and it was raining now.

I was alone now. I had been alone then.

As I staggered back, my feet slipped on the chilling water and I fell down with a hard impact. Everything hurt – my head, my back and my arms. Defenseless, my mind whispered. I shook my head as tears oozed from my eyes. No, no, not this again.

The fear was inescapable - ascending through every nerve of my body, pounding deep and loud in my blood. My hands shook as I tried to pull the doors of the house open to escape from the helplessness. I finally succeeded on my fourth try.

Rushing to the porch, I struggled to breathe through my fear. I caught my throat with my hands to stop the horrible choking noise I was making.

It took a second to realize that I was screaming.

There was so much water that I couldn't see. It was freezing and my skin was chilled as violent shivers racked through my body.

I didn't even know where I was going anymore. I was just mindlessly running. Maybe from myself.

When my body impacted with a barrier, I was brought to an abrupt halt. Two warm wet hands grasped at my chilled arms, shaking me.

"Bella!" Edward shouted over the rain.

"Edward!" I cried his name, and flung myself at him, caring no longer what he thought of me.

I repeated his name as I clung to him, trying to believe he was here. I thought I would have died if he had pushed me away then. He didn't, instead he accepted my embrace and returned it when he wrapped his warm body around me as we both soaked together in the rain.

"I was so scared," I mumbled into his coat, as he lifted me into his arms.

"It's alright. I'm here now," Edward said into my hair as he carried me back into the house.

Naturally, my body repelled returning to the house. Fisting at Edward's coat, I shook my head in denial.

"Bella, please. It's okay. I'm with you. Please…just try to relax," Edward said in a soothing voice.

Despite feeling overwhelmed by my fear, I agreed. Edward swiftly carried me upstairs, and I vaguely wondered how he was able to find his way through the pitch dark house. Edward moved into his room, and set me down. Looking at me with concerned eyes, he rubbed his large hands on my arms to warm me.

"God, Bella, you're soaked. You're so cold!" Edward said worriedly. He removed his wool coat quickly and draped it across my bare, wet shoulders.

After some repeated tries, he finally managed to light a fire in the fireplace. I clutched on to his coat desperately as my body tried to fight the cold. The coat did little to help as it too was soaked with the rain. Taking me by the hand, Edward led me into his adjoining washroom using a candle to find his way.

Sitting on the ledge of the enormous bath tub, he ushered me into his lap. As the tub filled with the warm water, he absentmindedly rubbed by shoulders, my arms, my back as I rested my head on his chest. Despite his efforts, my teeth chattered with the cold and I put my arms around his body to get as much of his warmth as I could.

"Bella," Edward said gently, lifting my chin. I looked up at him, still cold yet content with his presence.

"I've filled the tub with water. Why don't you step out of your nightgown and have a bath? I'll just wait outside and grab you some warm-" Edward stopped short at my panicked look. Why couldn't he understand that I was afraid of being by myself at night? How could he step away from me when I was like this?

"No, please," I whispered desperately, clutching onto his wet shirt. "Don't leave me. Please…please stay with me," I said, my teeth chattering with the cold. I didn't know why I was having so much trouble letting him go, but was asking him to stay wanting too much?

"Bella, I-" Edward stopped, looking around the washroom. Eventually, he sighed. "Sure. If that's what you want." Lightly pushing me towards the tub, he gestured towards the tub.

Perhaps it was my irrational fear of being alone at night which kept me glued to the ground. Edward looked at me for a long moment, then at the tub. Quickly, he bent to remove his shoes and socks, and then to my great surprise, stepped into the warm tub.

"Come along, Bella," he said, holding his hand out. Sensing my hesitance, he leaned forward and whispered. "I've said it before and I'm saying it now. I'm not going anywhere, Bella."

Continuing to look into my eyes, he gently urged me again, "Come on."

Just the look of heartfelt sincerity in his eyes encouraged me, and I dropped his coat on the floor before stepping into the tub. Edward pulled into his embrace, rubbing my back with his warm palms as though he felt that I would never get warm enough.

Edward's arms were strong…protective as they held me close.

"I'm sorry I got back so late. My car broke down on the way home. It was raining so hard, and it was impossible to find a taxi. I tried to call, but my battery had run out."

"I was so scared," I said into his sodden shirt.

"I know, I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Edward murmured, stroking my back. I looked up at Edward suddenly, surprised by him addressing me in such a way.

Edward seemed taken aback too, and he stared up at ceiling. For a minute, I tried to understand why he was looking up, but when I glanced down I realized my white gown was soaked and left little to imagination. Edward, being a gentleman, barely glanced my way, looking everywhere but at me. It should have made me very uncomfortable – being in such a state with Edward. Strangely, it didn't because I knew he wouldn't ever look at me in a lewd manner.

"Are you feeling warmer now?" Edward asked after a long moment of silence.

"I…yes," I said finally. Edward left the tub, and as lightening struck the sky his body was highlighted. His white shirt was soaked thoroughly, making it transparent enough to reveal his physique. He was well built, all strong thighs and sinewy muscles. I averted my eyes, knowing I should provide him with the same privacy he did to me.

Edward came back a moment later with some warm clothes. He seemed surprised to still see in the tub. "Would you like to stay in the tub longer?" Edward asked, quickly looking at the wall above the tub.

"I…uh, no," I said, quickly getting out of the tub. Edward turned around abruptly.

"I, I...put some of my clothes on the towel stand. I wasn't sure…where your stuff was," he muttered.

"Oh," was all I said as I peeled the wet gown down and it landed with an audible splat on the floor. Edward clearly heard the sound, and his shoulders and jaw tensed visibly. I hurriedly pulled on the clothes he had provided, but they were far too large and I had to considerably tighten the strings on his pajama pants. His sweater was too large, and the sleeves went way past my hands.

"Are you done?" Edward finally asked in a strangely strained voice.

"Yes," I said, and Edward turned and came closer. Cupping my face in his hands, he inspected it thoroughly.

"You're okay?" He asked, eyes flying all over me.

I nodded, feeling closer to him than I had in days.

"You scared the living daylights out of me today. Don't do that again," he tried to say sternly, but the emotion in his eyes showed his obvious concern.

I didn't know what it was that made me act the way I did. Maybe it was the fact that tension between us was so painfully obvious or that my feelings towards him overwhelmed me at the moment. Without thinking, I stepped forward and kissed him.

I felt shocked at myself. Edward was shocked too. I felt the way his body stiffened against mine. His lips were warm despite the cold, and soft beyond measure. My hands wandered to his shoulders and then to around his neck as I tried to hold myself against his tall frame. When he grasped my waist, I was so sure he was going to push me away.

He didn't. After letting out a groan, his fingers dove through my hair and pulled me closer as tilted my head to accommodate him better.

It took me a moment to understand. The realization was shocking as I clung to him.

Edward clearly had feelings for me.

* * *

**Longest chapter yet, hope that made up for my delay. So how did you all feel about the chapter – About Aro and Edward's past? Why does Edward feel the way he does about his mother? Did Bella taking the first step surprise you? **

**Some of you have asked me about the prologue. It's not too far away, perhaps in 2-4 chapters we'll get there. I think you'll be able to put the pieces together if you read it now.**

**As ever, please let me know what you thought. Hearing back from readers is very rewarding and motivating.**

**I can't promise when the next chapter will come because I don't have my laptop yet. The computer guy's boss has gone on a vacation. As always, I'll post on the twilighted thread (link on profile) to let you know more.**


	24. Chapter 22  Closer

**Hello!**

**Hope you guys are doing great. Thank you to all of you for reading and reviewing. I don't have my laptop so I haven't been able to respond to you guys. Sorry about that.**

**Thanks to Anna for betaing this super-fast. **

**Summary for the past chapter is in chapter 16 - Summaries for all chapters. On to the next…**

* * *

**Recap**: _I didn't know what it was that made me act the way I did. Maybe it was the fact that tension between us was so painfully obvious or that my feelings towards him overwhelmed me at the moment. Without thinking, I stepped forward and kissed him._

_I felt shocked at myself. Edward was shocked too. I felt the way his body stiffened against mine. His lips were warm despite the cold, and soft beyond measure. My hands wandered to his shoulders and then to around his neck as I tried to hold myself against his tall frame. When he grasped my waist, I was so sure he was going to push me away._

_He didn't. After letting out a groan, his fingers dove through my hair and pulled me closer as tilted my head to accommodate him better._

_It took me a moment to understand. The realization was shocking as I clung to him._

_Edward clearly had feelings for me._

**Chapter 22 - Closer**

I leaned in closer, unable to stay so close yet so far. Edward's arms resting on my waist, slid across my back, pulling me closer to him than ever.

I didn't know how long we stayed locked in our private embrace, but it was long enough for me to forget all the inhibitions that constantly surrounded my mind. Long enough for me to break through the walls that had begun to define who I was…long enough for me to feel like the girl who I once used to be.

I felt starved, deprived of such easy contact, of such a warm touch. So I took what Edward had to give me. And for once, I didn't hesitate.

I found it hard to remember a time that I hadn't recoiled from touch since my attack. However, here in now, my body failed to illicit panic when Edward fisted his hand in the back of the sweater I was wearing.

Edward. He was so uninhibited right now. I had never seen him like this before. He was always so reserved, so self-contained. Only occasionally did he let the true Edward be seen. I threaded my hands through his hair, grasping them gently to anchor myself, to anchor him to reality, to hold tight.

Edward pressed his damp body to me, and a shiver climbed up my spine. He bent his head, lightly brushing the back of my neck to make me tilt my head upwards. His tongue licked along my bottom lip, and without a question my mouth opened as though it didn't belong to me. Edward needed no further invitation and delved in to take what was his, what had always been his. I had never been so intimate with anyone. The feeling that his touch aroused in me surprised me more than anything.

He made me feel like I belonged.

Lauren's words felt hollow. Edward wasn't being forced to be in a relationship with me. He wanted to be with me. Such feelings couldn't be forced. They just...happened. They crept up on you when you least them expected to. Just like they had on me.

I moved my fingers to his jaw, caressing his wet face. I stepped up on my toes to reach him better, doing what was in my power to prolong this moment.

One can't run from reality for long. Neither could Edward and I. It was inevitable. It was inescapable. Edward's body stiffened, his shoulders tensing. Feeling him retreat as our lips separated, I stubbornly held onto his broad shoulders, unprepared to let go.

Wrapping my arms around him, I grasped him tightly. I couldn't bear to stand his silence again. I didn't want him to hide, this was the closest we had ever been. Letting go now was too difficult. I had only just gotten him back...

"No. Don't turn away now, Edward," I said, but my voice was muffled in his shirt.

Edward body relaxed infinitesimally, as he let out a frustrated sigh into my hair. His hands hesitantly reached my back, stroking my hair gently.

"I...I shouldn't have done that," Edward said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage of you like that."

I glanced up at him. "You didn't, Edward," I said, reaching up to touch his face. "Don't be sorry. I never stopped you."

Thinking over my words, I realized they didn't come out quite right. Lowering my eyes, I continued, "I didn't want to stop you."

My admission embarrassed me, but I knew that Edward had to be reassured that I had been willing. Edward's fingers lightly touched my skin, raising my face to him.

"I know, but it doesn't make what I did right," he said, his eyes deep green emeralds.

Edward turned to leave the washroom, but I grasped his wrist. "Edward, don't." I said, a hint of longing in my voice.

Edward turned back, confusion replacing the sadness. "Don't what?"

"Don't...run from me. From this. From...us."

Edward stared at me quietly and I continued, "I hate it that you don't talk with me like you used to. It's like there's something stopping you."

Edward cupped my cheeks, brushing my tears with his thumbs. "Bella, I'm doing this for the better. There is so much potential for you. Don't hold yourself down because of me."

I moved in closer, grasping his shirt. "I don't want any better. Don't you see it, I only want you. I miss you, Edward."

Edward caught me in his arms "I'm sorry that I've been distant," he murmured.

"Promise me. Promise me that you won't act like that ever again with me."

Edward kissed the top of my head, before whispering. "I promise."

"Come on, let's get you in bed," Edward said gently.

Back in Edward's bedroom, the fire was still burning so the room was much warmer than before. Edward moved to his dresser while I stood awkwardly to the side, deciding on whether to take the couch or the bed. After hunting a pair of socks for me and some clothes for himself, Edward turned to see me.

"Bella, please don't hesitate. Take the bed, I can take the couch."

"I...okay. Please share the bed. It's big enough for both of us. I don't want you catching a cold because of me," I said, incredibly flustered and hoping that he didn't think I was trying to lure him into bed. It was his bed, after all. And it was still quite cold.

Edward looked momentarily shocked, but then regained himself quickly. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Staring directly into his eyes, I replied, "I'm not."

"Well, alright. Please make yourself warm, I'll just change."

I merely nodded, not knowing what to say. As Edward disappeared into the washroom, I turned towards the king-sized bed. Its appearance was slightly intimidating due its posts and the deep, rich mahogany color. Shaking my head to dispel my thoughts, I climbed in on one side leaving ample space for Edward on the other side. The last thing I wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.

Pushing my face into the pillow, I inhaled. The pillow was definitely Edwards because it smelled like his after shave and all man. Wrapped in the blankets around me, I shuddered because the sheets were still quite cold.

I shut my eyes, but was distinctly aware of Edward as he lay down over the covers instead of getting underneath them. Against my better senses, I asked him why.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine. You, on the other hand, still look cold."

I shook my head no, but still feeling cold shuddered involuntarily. Edward, shocking me, moved closer towards me on the bed and laid his right arm across me. Kissing the back of my head, he whispered in my ear, "Better?"

There was no denying that it was better. I could feel his warmth through the covers, but best of all the sense of security and belonging was far more valued.

Unable to voice my gratitude, I nodded.

After a few quiet moments, I broke the silence. "Edward?"

"Hmmm?" He murmured next to me.

"Thank you for everything today," I whispered even though there was no one but the two of us.

Edward brushed his hand across the blanket where my arm was.

"Sleep, Bella." Edward whispered back. With his warmth next to me and encased in the protection of his arms, I closed my eyes and succumbed to sleep.

~x~x~x~x~

Sleeping in Edward's arms was very different from sleeping in the same room as him. I was acutely aware of each movement he made, of every breath he breathed. There was a deep found intimacy in being with him like this, with him pressing himself closer to me unconsciously.

In these past few weeks, a lot had changed. My feelings for Edward were painfully obvious to me. A part of me wanted to believe that Edward felt the same. I knew the hints were there for me to look at, but it was not that easy. Edward was an honest, hard-working man, someone every woman wanted for her future. The catch was that Edward was emotionally wounded. Deeply. I wasn't even sure if he would be able to sort through his feelings on his own. We both had our own struggles, and it really made me wonder if we were even ready to give this relationship more. At this point, it seemed inevitable.

Edward tightened his arm around me as though he thought so too. I lightly brushed the back of his hand that rested on my waist. Edward sensing the movement buried his face in my neck and intertwined his fingers with me. So closed in some ways, yet so open in the others.

"Oh Edward, how long are you going to hide me?" I whispered into the darkness. He didn't answer, breathing steadily.

It bothered me greatly that Edward hadn't mentioned a single word about Aro since the party. Neither had he ever said much about the nightly confrontation between the two of us that had followed. I wondered what had become of the deal that Aro and Edward were competing for. Had Aro and Edward's face off caused any problems for the company?

As much I wanted to forego these thoughts, they were a constant huddle every day, a persistent annoyance at the back of my mind at all times. Taking care of the house and cooking for both of us had been helping me get through. It was an almost private experience, tending to the smallest of things that made the house what it was.

I had even started looking after Edward's room, although Thea didn't do the same when she used to be with us. At the time, I had hoped Edward would finally talk to me, express something...anything. Sadly, he hadn't even commented about it. I tightened my fingers around Edward's, happy that we were closer and over with the weeks of silence.

I knew it was time for me to find something to do, but it was hard to find where to start from. It was obvious that New York had become well-acquainted with me. For now, I just wanted to keep a low profile, doing something that was enough to occupy my days. Besides, I could use the financial resources to look into what to do further as paying Edward wasn't even an option. As I lay, I sought through my options and decided that I would try and ask at the library close by. I had recently seen an advertisement about it the daily newspaper.

I could only hope Edward wouldn't object to my choice.

~x~x~x~x~

The next morning I woke up earlier than Edward. I faintly noted that we hadn't changed positions over the night. Turning in Edward's arms, I stared at him sleepily. He was still deep in sleep. I looked at the clock - 6:15 a.m. I didn't think he would wake up for another 15-20 min, so I thought it was alright to look at him some more. His curtains weren't drawn, so the light at dawn fell on him.

I tentatively reached out and stroked his jaw, feeling the stubble scratch against my fingers. Unable to stop myself, I moved in closer and pressed my lips to his, letting mine stay there for a moment. When I moved back, I ran my fingers through his bronze hair, brushing them from his forehead. Deciding now was as good a time as any, I slipped out of bed and headed downstairs.

I was pouring the boiling coffee into our cups when I felt his presence behind me. Without Thea here, the large kitchen with its tension seemed far too small.

"Morning," Edward said, his voice husky from sleep. Knowing I couldn't put it off, I turned around.

"Morning. I was up you before you, I thought I'd make you some breakfast." Edward looked grateful, but answered good-naturedly.

"Bella, you didn't have to do that. I would have managed by myself. Besides, you prepare the meals anyway." When he saw the look on my face, he quickly rectified. "But thank you, I appreciate it."

As we both sat on the stools side by side, we exchanged awkward glances. Edward finally spoke after a moment of hesitation.

"Bella, about last night. I...I wanted to tell you how much I value your trust," he paused, placing his hand on top of mine, and I was aware that this was one of the few non-forced acts of affection. "I would never take advantage of it. I always want you to know that," he said, staring at me deeply.

"You've earned it, Edward," I said quietly. And with that, we both resumed our breakfast.

"Actually, Edward, I wanted to talk to you about something," I began, near the end of the breakfast.

"Hmm," Edward said while eating.

"I was thinking of getting a job at the nearby library." I cringed because I sounded more like I was asking him for permission than making a statement. Edward paused mid-bite, and placed his half eaten grilled cheese sandwich back in his plate. Crossing his fingers in front of himself, he peered down at me sideways, eyes narrowed.

"I don't understand. Did you need money for something?" He asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"Edward, seriously?" I asked exasperated, unable to believe how he could ask me something so silly. "I want to work, make myself useful some way."

"Bella, you don't need to work. I don't want to sound conceited, but I earn enough for both of us. Besides, the job sounds insignificant considering your qualifications," Edward said mildly.

I knew he wasn't trying to make me upset, but his words seemed to do exactly that. "So is that what this is about?" I asked angrily. "Edward you might be a hot-shot CEO, but I'm not. I've had to work hard all these years to make ends meet. To just get by. Maybe something like a library job seems unimportant to you, but for me it's a way of supporting myself," I ranted.

"You don't need to support yourself. I can support you well enough. You're my wife, dammit," Edward replied heatedly.

For a moment, I found myself speechless by the intensity of his words, but quickly righted myself. "Edward, it's not about that. I want to be capable of supporting myself. I don't think you realize how lonely it gets when you stay all by yourself in such a big house."

"You feel lonely?" Edward asked, his voice softer now.

"What else do you expect, Edward?" I said more harshly than I intended to. "Thea's gone, and quite often you're not at home until dinner time. There's not much I have to do besides cook and clean."

"If this is what you want, I won't object. I don't want to intervene in your decisions, Bella, but I just can't help but feel I'm not doing a good job at making you feel like you are my family," he said sadly.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted during the past few days; things have been rough at work. Although, I understand that it is not a good excuse for my behaviour," he said, running a hand through his messy locks.

Hearing the repentance in his voice tugged at my heart. "I don't blame you, Edward. I can understand. Just...just don't treat me like a stranger again, okay?" I stared up at him expectantly.

Instead of answering me, he leaned across the small distance between us. His eyes widened, as I'm sure mine did too when we both closed the remaining distance to let our lips meet. Unlike the urgency of last night, the kiss was an apology on both on his and my part. Our lips touched, rejoicing the feeling. We moved back at the same time, and Edward's lips skimmed my cheek before brushing against my ear.

"I don't think I can stay away now even if I wanted to," he said, his breath warm on my skin. I closed my eyes, relishing his closeness.

"Then don't," I whispered, swept over by a swell of emotion.

~x~x~x~x~

The following day Edward insisted on driving me over to the small library, but not wanting to bring unwanted attention that came with the sleek Mercedes, I decided to walk there. Edward, of course, came along too.

"We would have gotten there a lot more faster if you weren't being so adamant about not using the car," Edward muttered beside me.

I chanced a look at his face and laughed at the annoyance on his face. "That sounds strange coming from someone who works out every day of the week."

"I'm just time conscious, that's all," Edward said with a smile. "By the way, you should do that more often."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Laugh. I don't see you doing it enough. You have a wonderful laugh," he said matter-of-factly.

I blushed at the unexpected compliment, feeling silly for being so affected by such simple words.

"I've done it again, haven't I? Made you nervous?" Edward asked as I tugged on my pony-tail to avoid looking at him.

"No, it's not that," I said, chewing on my lip. "It's just been so long since anyone said something like that to me."

"Sorry, I'm not too good with words," Edward said apologetically.

"Don't say that," I said, smiling up at him. Tapping a finger against his forehead lightly, I said, "It's the thought that counts."

We smiled at each other, staring for longer than was appropriate until I stumbled over a rock. Edward grasped my waist quickly, holding me tightly against him.

"Careful," he said, his green eyes darkened to a deeper jade. Finally unwinding his arm, he urged me to continue walking.

"So I've been thinking," Edward started carefully, watching my face. "That maybe you could work with me at my office. I'm sure you would feel more competent working there. And I bet the staff would be more welcoming." Mentally, I rolled my eyes. Of course, they would be considering I was their boss's wife.

When he saw that I was going to speak against it, he continued on, "And I would always be there if you needed me."

"Edward," I said, touched by his concern. "Thank you, but I just can't do that."

"Why not?" Edward asked, brows furrowed.

"Edward, I'm your wife. And after all that controversy people will think I used you to get to the company."

"I don't care what people think, Bella. They should mind their own business for all I care."

"Edward," I said trying to reason with him. "People talk and we can't stop them. Besides, I won't feel independent if I work for you. You've already done so much for me, Edward. Some battles are my own to fight, you can't fight the whole world for me," I said, lightly squeezing his hand.

"Sure, people will have their apprehensions wherever I go, but time changes everything. It will be hard at first, and trust me I'm not looking forward to that part. However, with time, people will forget and accept me as who I am, not who I was made to be in Seattle."

"Bella, I'm not too happy about it, but I won't contest your decision. Don't worry about what people will say. Most of the folks here are oriented in our favour, and do not believe a word Lauren says, thanks to Emmett."

"Emmett?"

"My brother. He works for New York Times, and he is an influential figure in the news society. People here understand how unworthy Lauren and Tyler are. They don't exactly have the brightest reputations based on their previous business dealings."

"People will believe the truth, Bella. You were never a mole. You never outed anything to me. And don't forget, you are legally married to me. No one can change that, you know that, right?"

"Right," I said, smiling up at his earnest expression. Looking up, I noticed we had reached the library.

"I'll wait here for you," Edward said, looking down. "Wouldn't want to influence anything," he muttered in after-thought.

I smiled inwardly at his sulky face. "You don't have to wait for me, Edward. I'm sure you have other important things to do."

"They can wait. They're not more important to me than you," Edward said. I barely held my jaw from dropping open - he had been considerably more vocal about his feeling since last night.

"Thanks."

Edward smiled in response. As I started walking to the entrance, I heard Edward call my name. When I turned around to see him, he mouthed "Best of luck" and flicked his thumbs up.

I smiled back at him before entering the library. This man would be the death of me.

~x~x~x~x~

"I'm Shelley Cope, and I'll be conducting the interview. What's your name, dear?" The middle aged lady sitting opposite me on the desk asked.

"Bella." I didn't want to say anymore. I didn't want my last name to define me. If I said Swan, she would think of the news instantly, and if I said Cullen it would mean undue influence.

"And your last name?" She asked kindly. I couldn't change who I was, and it was about time that I learned to accept that.

"Swan," I replied firmly, ready to face the possible eyebrow-lift or contempt.

It never came. The lady smiled politely, and jotted down the information on a paper. I stared longer than appropriate, stunned to an extent. Did she never watch or read news? Sure, our marriage wasn't as media-hyped here as it had been in Seattle, but still...how could she be so oblivious?

"Previous job experiences?"

"Well, I was U of Washington's student magazine editor through my years at university. I also volunteered and worked part-time at Seattle times in the editing department and occasionally penned an article or two and did a few book reviews for a local newspaper," I breathed in deeply before continuing to the next part. The hard part. If she hadn't put the pieces together yet, she would most definitely figure things out now. "I also worked for a year as a fashion magazine editor following my graduation."

I had definitely blown it; I could feel it in my bones. She wouldn't be happy about the publicity over my working at her library. She seemed too well-contained and even-minded for it. Why would a sensible person want to open doors to trouble like me? My effort was beginning to seem doomed already.

"Would you happen to have a resume for me to keep on file?" So far she wasn't giving any indications whatsoever.

"Yes," I said, handing it to her after retrieving it from my purse.

She read through intently, her frail fingers skimming the text. After a while, she finally lifted her head.

"Impressive. However, I do not understand why you would apply for such a job. Clearly, you're over-qualified," she asked, squinting her eyes at me. The million dollar question, of course.

"I...I'm not ready to return to what I used to do yet. I'm just taking a break from it all...some breathing space if you will. I need time and some perspective, but in the meanwhile I want to work. I enjoy working; it helps keep my mind off pressing issues. And as might be obvious, I'm an avid reader...so I thought why not spend all this time that I have on my hands in a place that is my personal reprieve. A library."

"The salary is quite limited," she said, a statement.

"It's enough for me." Enough to make me feel like an actual person again. Enough to make my first step back to regular life worthwhile.

"Your husband could offer so much more," she said, not rudely but merely as an observation.

"I don't want favours from anyone," I said coldly, then softening my tone after seeing the surprise on her face, I continued, "I'm my own person. I don't want his support; I want to get a job on my own basis."

"Well then, it's settled," she said, peering at me with a speculative frown on her tired face.

~x~x~x~x~

I walked out quickly, barely able to hold in the jubilant smile threatening to make an appearance. I couldn't believe it – I actually had a job! After everything that had happened, I had achieved something on my own. However small it may be, it was definitely something.

Turned out that Mrs. Cope recognized me right from the start, but being wise she decided to figure me out rather than using the news to determine who I was. The fact that I was honest and refused the job offer from Edward made her decide that she wanted to appoint me for the job. Instead of shaking my hand, she embraced me warmly and congratulated me for being a strong, self-reliant woman. What a whiplash, I thought shaking my head. Appearances could really be deceiving.

I finally grinned when I saw Edward lurking around the bushes, engrossed in a conversation on his phone. However, my grin gradually vanished as I heard bits of the conversation.

"Why the sudden visit? From what I remember you weren't too excited about seeing me last Christmas."

Edward chuckled mirthlessly. "Oh Carlisle, you'll never understand me. At least, we have one thing we agree on," he said harshly.

"Who am I to stop you? It's a family house and just because it's on my name by inheritance doesn't change anything," Edward replied sharply to Carlisle's response.

I could hear the other person on the line speaking in a louder voice, but Edward interrupted. "I'm not being difficult, Carlisle. I'm just trying to understand, so please be so kind to explain to me why the whole family is coming over on such short notice when there is no special occasion."

My heart stopped in my chest. His family was coming over? On short notice? Oh my God.

"Don't you for a second think that I am fooled by your words, Carlisle. Bella is my wife. The sooner you and grandma accept it, the better it will be. You're welcome here, but if the purpose of your visit is to evaluate and antagonize my wife then I want you to understand that I will not accept it."

I stood behind Edward, feeling the color drain from my face. This couldn't be good, could it?

* * *

**A/N: Soooo…here comes Edward's family! What are you expecting of Carlisle and Esme? Of Edward's grandma (Elizabeth's mother)? Will the job be good for Bella? How is the romance going – too fast, too slow? I'm sorry if you guys were expecting E & B to move faster, they have their own demons, and it was important that Edward take care of Bella at the time. **

**As always, please do leave a review. It's great to hear back from readers, and it makes my day!**

**Can't promise when the next update will be as I still don't have my laptop! However, school starts soon and I'm thinking there will be an update every three weeks/a month. However, it may take longer depending on how things go at school. Check my twitter for updates on that :)  
**


	25. Chapter 23 – Awakening silence

A/N: Happy New Year. Hope you're all doing great and had a relaxing break. THE SUMMARIES FOR **ALL **THE CHAPTERS TILL NOW ARE IN CHAPTER 16. Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. A big thanks to OTD673 for her awesome betaing!

* * *

_My heart stopped in my chest. His family was coming over? On short notice? Oh my God._

_"Don't you for a second think that I am fooled by your words, Carlisle. Bella is my wife. The sooner you and grandma accept it, the better it will be. You're welcome here, but if the purpose of your visit is to evaluate and antagonize my wife then I want you to understand that I will not accept it."_

_I stood behind Edward, feeling the color drain from my face. This couldn't be good, could it?_

**Chapter 23 – Awakening silence**

I stood behind Edward, stunned to silence. The whole family was coming over? How? When? _Why?_

Was it really to judge me? Hadn't I been judged enough for a lifetime?

"Save it, Carlisle. I don't want to hear your reasons. Anyway, what time are you all arriving? I'll drive you all to the house when you arrive." Edward listened carefully before interrupting.

"I'll ask her, Carlisle," Edward said abruptly. "The choice is hers; I'm not going to ask her to do something she is not comfortable with. As it is, she has been through enough," he said steely.

"Good. It's better this way. Give my regards to Esme. I'll see you soon," he finished in a cool voice, snapping his phone shut.

Edward ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. Kicking his foot against the wall, he cursed.

"Life just gets better and better," he muttered angrily.

He turned, drawing a sudden breath when he saw me standing in front of him.

"Bella…" he said, struggling to regain his composure. "Did you-" he started, shaking his head, aggravated.

"When are they coming?" I asked, surprised to hear how calm my voice sounded. Only I knew of the tempest swirling deep in my mind.

Edward closed his eyes, clenching his fists. "In two days," he forced out.

"Should I ask why?" I asked, apprehension clawing at my insides.

Edward opened his eyes, his green eyes crinkling with concern. "Probably not. You aren't going like what you're going to hear."

I stood up higher, narrowing my eyes at his hesitation. "I can handle it," I stated clearly.

"They want to meet you, Bella. They were surprised to hear that I married so suddenly. My grandmother and parents-" Edward made a sound of disbelief, "want to give us their blessings." He raised his eyes to mine. "At least that's what they are saying."

"You think they have something else in mind?"

"I don't just think so. I know it," Edward said, staring down into my eyes. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Well, maybe Esme is the only one with honorable intentions. She is genuinely excited about meeting you. Carlisle and my grandmother," he smiled wryly, "they definitely have something on their mind."

"Why do you think so?" I asked, unable to understand his attitude towards his family members.

"I was adopted. Being a bastard child, do you really think I was accepted in that family? Hell, my own mother didn't want me. Her relatives were a whole new story," he said with a self-depreciating laugh.

I found my feet carrying me forward before I had even realized. Hesitantly, I reached out to rub his forearm, "Don't let your self get upset over those past memories," I said softly.

He gave a bitter laugh. "Oh Bella, it takes a lot to upset me now. I'm not upset about what has passed, I am mad about what is to come. Sometimes, the artificial gestures of my own family surprise me."

I looked at him sadly, not knowing what to say. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms tightly around him. "I'm sorry you've had it so bad," I whispered into his chest. Edward arms rose to stroke my back. Even now, the warmth of his large hands on my back surprised me.

"I should have asked earlier, but Carlisle's call distracted me. How was the interview?" Edward asked carefully, his voice soft in my hair.

"I got the job," I said quietly. Edward's body froze, and when I looked up at him he beamed at me. Like really beamed at me.

"Really?" He asked, awe clear in his words. I nodded shyly, embarrassed that he was making such a big deal of it. For someone like him, it was such a small, insignificant job.

His warms hands cupped my cold cheeks, drawing me closer to press a kiss to my forehead. His lips lingered as he inhaled deeply. "I'm so proud of you," he said reverently, the affection in his voice making my heart beat like a humming bird in my chest.

"Come on," he said grasping my hand tightly. "We must celebrate your new job."

~x~x~x~x~

Back at home, Edward cracked open a bottle of champagne, the rich amber liquid rising with a flourish. He poured the drinks into the delicate glasses with practiced ease and heartily sipped at his drink, my response, on the other hand, was a lot less enthusiastic. After years of seeing Charlie waste away on alcohol, any lingering desire for the novelty of heady drinks had gone out like a light. However, I graciously accepted the drink with a small smile. After all, it was a victorious day, and very least I could do was find some much needed happiness in it. Other upcoming concerns could wait just a little while longer…

"To your success," Edward said, raising his glass for a toast.

I followed him, the clinking of glasses echoing in the large living room.

"So when do you start?" Edward asked, sipping at his drink, all the while staring at me over the rim of his glass. His intent gaze unnerved me in more ways than one. Although, I knew it wasn't a conscious move on his part, his whole demeanor was so provocative, almost borderline seductive - lips parted, eyes lidded, his head inclined towards me. I blinked, trying to clear my head of the strange sensations he evoked in me.

"She asked me to start from Monday of the next week, but I insisted that I wanted to start sooner than that. Well, more precisely, I'll be starting tomorrow," I said, feeling a spark of excitement hum through my veins.

The long days at the house left me exhausted yet content due to the feeling of being able to contribute. The job, however, signified a whole new step, a liaison that enabled me to step out and face the world. Surrounding myself with a magical world of marvelous books seemed to be the best way possible to face the inevitable.

"You're looking forward to it," Edward observed, swirling the liquid in the flute.

"Hmm," I murmured. "I enjoy being around books. You're probably going to find this silly, but being around books makes me feel relaxed and happy…it's just about the smell of them, the feeling that you get when you touch the worn pages of old book – thinking of how many different hands have touched those same words that are running smooth below your fingertips. To me a book is a very personal experience, it's like reaching deep into an author's mind and sharing those private thoughts with them -" I stopped abruptly, flushing as I realized how off the tangent I had gone.

"Sorry," I said apologetically, looking up to see Edward with an expression of quiet appreciation on his face.

"Don't be. I like hearing you talk about it. You're very passionate about them. Are you strictly a reader or do you venture into writing occasionally?" He asked resting his chin on his hand.

"I, um, enjoy writing, too. It's not something I'm good at, but nevertheless it is liberating to pen your emotions on paper."

"Mrs. Cullen, you're a book full of secrets waiting to be read," Edward said, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.

"Hey!" I said softly, lightly pushing at his upper arm, "I should be the one saying that!"

"Oh Bella, I have no secrets that are worth knowing," Edward replied, the smile still on his face, but the way he said the words made me think that they held more meaning than something uttered in the moment.

"I should be the one to judge that," I said softy, laying my hand on his forearm. "Everything about you is worth knowing to me."

Edward gazed at me, the smile on his face wavering. Finally, he ran a hand through his hair.

"I should get going, I have a couple of meeting lined up for today."

Knowing the moment was over, I pulled myself off the chair. "Are you hungry? I could fix something for you to take with you."

Edward seemed to contemplate, looking torn between accepting the offer and being the good husband by letting it go.

"It won't take long," I scolded lightly, and then made the decision myself, "I'm going to throw something together really fast."

~x~x~x~x~

That night I was ironing my clothes for the next day when Edward arrived. I was unable to stop the smile that crept up on my face when I heard him call for me. As I descended the stairs, the grim expression on his face made me halt.

"Hi," I said testily, studying his expression.

Edward nodded curtly. "Bad day?" I asked, trying the words out.

"You have no idea," Edward said, shaking his head.

"What happened?" I asked as I opened the fridge to get the pasta.

"Aro. He's really beginning to annoy the hell out of me," Edward grumbled, taking a seat on the dining table. I smiled internally, surprised at how much more Edward had begun to communicate.

"What did he do this time?" I asked, my own anger building at Aro's persistence.

"The same. I was supposed to have the deal finalized at this point, but ever since Aro's stepped in, things have just gotten more complicated. The Huntingtons were pretty sure of us before, but now they have flat out told me that I am up against Aro for this contract. Our little fiasco at the party didn't do much to help."

"So what now? When will the Huntingtons decide, it seems to me that they have been taking so long to settle the deal…"

"True," Edward said frowning. "The account is two billion dollars. We're talking big clients here, the Huntingtons want to be sure that they are making the right decision. I have to go and give a presentation next week. Aro will have to give one also. The problem is that the Huntingtons want to renegotiate and I don't have the means to accommodate their wants without setting other projects back."

Setting the two plates on the table, I rubbed Edward's shoulder. "I hope things work out for the better."

Edward sighed, "It's not going to happen by itself, Bella. And at the moment, I'm really coming up empty handed. There are so many people relying me. I don't want to lose this deal, I've worked so hard for this. And it's all just slipping through my fingers," he said closing his eyes.

Sitting down beside him, I boldly placed my hand on his lower back.

"Hey," I said softly, causing him to open his eyes and look at me. The stress on his face was transparent, worry crinkling around his troubled eyes.

"Edward, everyone knows you're trying your best. I've seen you work day and night, even I can appreciate the extent of your effort. Your employees have seen you at your best. Right now they know better than to doubt you."

"But-" He began, but I stopped him by placing a finger on his lips, but then hastily removed it when I saw the burning look in his eyes.

"You have to stop stressing about things you have no control over Edward. If it's not meant to be, it won't happen. And if it is meant to be, no one can stop it. All you have to do now is put your best foot forward," I paused, looking down at the cooling food. "Now…no more discussion, let's eat before the food cools down."

Edward stared at me for a long moment before smiling lightly. "I like you being all bossy," he said jokingly causing my face to redden.

"Eat," I muttered in a low-voice causing Edward to grin at his food.

Edward looked less stressed after his night drink. A part of me always wanted to call him out about how often he drank, but I held back knowing it was not the best time for me to bring this up. At the moment, he typed away frantically at his laptop, his fingers twitching between the typed words. I was wary of disturbing him, but I wanted to let him know that I was going to bed.

"Edward?"

He startled at the sound of my voice. Rubbing a hand over his face, he glanced at his watch. "Yeah, it's pretty late, you should go to sleep," he said, looking preoccupied.

"The same goes for you," I reminded him.

"I'll be a while," he said, dismissing the topic.

"Don't overwork yourself," I said, holding on persistently. When his eyes flickered to mine, I whispered, "Please."

"Okay, let's do this," he said, removing his glasses.

As I settled into bed, feeling a little victorious, Edward sank down on to the couch in the dark room.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"You can sleep on the bed too." I said quietly, my voice sounding incredibly loud to me.

He remained quiet, and I began to doubt myself. Maybe I was expecting too much, getting him to talk had been hard, but sleeping together represented a whole new territory. Embarrassed, I began to ramble.

"I...I just thought that the couch couldn't have been all that comfortable. I'm sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to-"

"Bella," Edward interrupted.

"Yes?" I replied hesitantly.

"You're sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Edward said, his voice concerned.

"I'm sure." I've never been more sure, I thought to myself.

Slowly, hesitantly, he eased into the spot next to me. The warmth of his body next to mine felt intimate.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" I asked, turning towards him.

His hand crept beside mine, taking a hold of it. Bringing it up to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to my fingers.

"You do know that you don't have to go through this, right? I have an apartment near my office if you prefer that. If you'd like, you can stay there till they leave," he said running his calloused fingers over my palm causing pleasurable shivers to run down my spine. The questions in my mind stopped those feeling abruptly.

"Do you not want me to meet them? Is that it, Edward? Not good enough for your family?" I asked, hurt by the direction of my thoughts. I tried to pull my hand away, but he just seized it more tightly.

"That's not it, and you know it," he said, the calmness in his voice dissipating.

"Then why is it so hard for you to accept that I'm married to you, and they'll just have to live with it. There's not much they can do about it!"

"Bella, you're making this into more than it needs to be," Edward said, pulling away.

"Try putting yourself in my shoes. And then ask yourself, am I the one wrong here?"

"I don't even know why we are having this conversation. I've told you that my family never completely accepted me. I've always been the 'other' child. I won't be surprised if they treat you like trash simply because you're my wife. I'm just giving you an option out."

"Why do you always think that I'll run at times like this?" I asked, hurt by the insinuation.

He thumped his head back against the pillow. "Because that's exactly what normal people do. You don't need the burden that my family is."

"Well, I'm going through this whether you like it or not, Edward. I'm not a child that needs your protection. They can accept me or reject me all they want, but I'm not going to step back because I'm scared of them judging me, okay?" I said in a no-nonsense voice.

Without waiting for his reply, I said, "Goodnight, Edward," before turning towards my side and pulling the blankets over me.

Edward sighed, "You're so stubborn. Fine, have it your way. Oh and Goodnight, Bella," he said sarcastically before turning on his own side.

~x~x~x~x~

The next dawn, I woke earlier than Edward. I took a few minutes to study his quiet, peaceful form – arm thrown over his head, hair tousled, his full lips parted, his shirt lifted at his stomach. Bending down, I pressed a light kiss to his lips so as to not wake him. Rubbing a gentle hand over the stubble on his cheek, I apologized for the argument knowing well that he wouldn't hear me.

"Sorry," I whispered against his cheek, before climbing out of the bed to make breakfast for us.

Edward came downstairs scratching his hair and squinted at me when he noticed me standing there.

"You need help?" He asked, extending the olive branch or whatever.

"No, thanks. I'm fine. What would you like?"

"Whatever you're having is fine." He said, clearly frustrated at our clipped exchange.

"When is your family arriving?"

"I think we'll get home by five or so. Want me to pick you on the way back?" He asked eagerly.

"I'll be fine, it's just a short walk back," I said flippantly, cursing myself for the apprehension I felt at the idea of walking by myself in the dark.

"I'll drop you off on my way to work," Edward said, his voice demanding and adamant.

"There you go again," I muttered.

"Bella, I may be overprotective, but I'm not blind enough to not see how your face pales at the mention of getting there by yourself."

"Edward-" I said, but stopped when he stood from his chair. Coming around the kitchen island, he placed both his hands on the counter behind me, trapping me in a cage of his arms. I moved back in surprise, the invasion of personal space forcing me to back into the counter. Slowly, his hand pushed the few loose strands on my face behind my ear. His breath was warm and minty with toothpaste as his lips hovered over mine. Bending his head, he whispered in my ear in a low-seductive voice.

"Deal with it."

The words sounded so sensual that I hastily drew in a breath. His green knowing eyes burned me with their intensity as his lips touched mine lightly. Unable to bear the overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation, I closed my eyes to savor it all. Savor the feeling of him all around me, the feeling of his desire. And then he was gone…

I opened my eyes and sighed before slumping against the counter.

"I am in so much trouble," I said to myself, unable to control the wry smile that played across my lips.

~x~x~x~x~

Mrs. Cope smiled fondly at me as I praised the library interior. Although the furniture was old, it was timeless and elaborate. The heavy mahogany tables stood bold against the pale carpets and the chairs looked elegant with their intricately carved roses.

"The library must have been around for quite a while," I mused, unable to stop myself from reaching out to stroke the rose.

"Yes, my dear. It's been established since the 1930s. My grandfather started it off, insisting an institution for education was essential back in the day. I spent most of my early years under his influence, since my father was too busy working in the mills and my mother was occupied by housework."

"He obviously left an impact, considering the number of years you've spent here," I asked, smiling at her. She returned my smile warmly.

"Absolutely. He was one of the most passionate men I have ever met. He enjoyed reading any type of book. Over time, he began reading aloud to me. One thing led to another and soon after I found myself in the business. I didn't have the heart to change the interior, it was a part of him that I couldn't let go off. Everyday that I'm here, I feel him right beside me." She let out a laugh. "It must sound crazy, in fact downright spooky."

"No, it sounds like you were both were very close - you shared a special bond with him. You should consider yourself lucky."

She surreptitiously wiped at a tear. "I do. Sorry, I tend to get emotional when I talk about him."

"It's completely natural. I'd feel the same way," I said, placing a hand on her forearm. She smiled, placing her cold, fragile hand on mine before saying, "I think I'm going to like you a lot."

The rest of the day flew by smoothly. Mrs. Cope introduced me to the regular customers, most of which were elderly readers. Although some were shrewd and had a sharp eye, most received me warmly despite the speculation around my marriage to Edward. The ladies were humble and kind, motherly in their support to a point that I felt embarrassed by all the attention. However, it felt nice to connect with others beyond my immediate circle.

In the afternoon, a group of chattering young children entered together along with two female teachers that struggled to control them. Mrs. Cope introduced me, and blessedly the teachers seemed to be unaware of who I was. The children, on the other hand, gazed silently at me with their huge, innocent eyes making me nervous and self-conscious. Awkwardly, I raised my hand in wave. "Hi guys. I'm Bella."

My words seemed to strike them out of their stupor and in the next minute I found a multitude of questions being hurled at me.

"How old are you?" A boy with glasses and khaki shorts asked suspiciously.

"Do you have babies?" A girl with wide blue eyes and two missing front teeth asked.

"Your hair are so long and pretty. Why are mine so short?" A blonde girl with a cute bob asked.

"Will you be our new teacher?" A small girl at the back asked, with pink tinting at her pale cheeks.

The teachers and Mrs. Cope laughed as I stared at the group in front of me dumbfounded.

"Miss Bella here will be reading you some exciting stories during the library hour," Mrs. Cope said, amusement clear in her voice.

The children were inquisitive to say the least. Since today was my first day, Mrs. Cope asked the teachers to take over the reading and asked me to observe. I was somewhat awed by the rapt attention of the children as they listened to the stories.

Later that day, after shelving some of the books, Mrs. Cope urged me to leave earlier. I agreed, thinking about the arrival of Edward's family. Even if their response to me was decidedly lukewarm, they still deserved a decent dinner, and I told myself that I could use the time to make myself look presentable. Still, I felt like I was competing for the position of a trophy wife rather than welcoming family home.

I felt a yearning for my father settle heavily in my chest, but I still hadn't forgotten how he'd abandoned me on my marriage. Eventually, it was Jasper that gave me to Edward. I didn't think I had it in me to ever forget what my father had missed out on.

Once I arrived home after my successfully independent short walk, I headed straight to the kitchen and set the marinated lamb on the heat. I glanced at the clock as it cooked, mindful that Edward and family were to arrive in another three hours. I tossed together a salad with homemade dressing of vinegar and sun-dried tomatoes. Deciding on adding another salad, I quickly prepared a warm potato salad with onions, chickpeas and beans. The cans Thea had stocked were a huge help. When the rice and the lamb were ready, I prepared the minty sauce to go with it just the way I liked it, rich, creamy and a little sour. Afterwards, I placed the chicken pasta dish in the oven for it to bake and placed a bottle of red and white wine into the freezer.

Meanwhile, I set the table in the large dining room and placed the napkins neatly on the plates. Once dinner was ready, I rushed to my room to change. I dressed conservatively, in a decent black dress with long sleeves and a fitted bodice. The hem came to just below my knees, and to be modest I wore my dark panty hose. Next, I brushed my hair into long waves, and wore a simple pair of earrings. By then, it was already past five, and the family was due any minute. I found one of Edward's lighters and lit the candles on the dining table and turned on the lamps.

When I heard the keys jingle in the lock, I knew they were here. And for a moment, a part of me turned frantic, desperate to rush to the security of my room. I stood still, feeling my heart beat loudly in my chest. The sounds of voices floated through in the living room. I could make out two distinct male and two female voices. Taking a deep breath, I urged myself to move my feet and act like a mature woman. The deed was done, and my relationship to Edward was not dependent on their approval. Trying for a pleasant, confident smile, I moved into the living room and took in the family.

"Hello," I said, keeping my head high. I had nothing to be ashamed of.

Posh, well-groomed individuals peered back at me with interest. When no one said anything, I began feeling awkward. The feeling evaporated, when Edward's hand grazed my back before settling on my shoulder. Pulling me towards his side, he gazed at me as he said.

"I'd like you all to meet my wife, Isabella Cullen."

"Oh my, she's wonderful!" The woman with beautiful caramel locks exclaimed. She appeared to be in mid-40s and had a kind smile with honey-brown eyes.

"I'm Esme," she said, moving forward towards me. And I stepped out of Edward's grasp, not sure if I should just shake her hand. She decided and embraced me like she had known me forever.

"I'm so glad Edward has finally settled down," she said, staring fondly at Edward. "I was beginning to think I'd never see this day." Reverting her gaze back to me, she grinned. Inexplicably, I found myself mirroring her smile. The moment was disrupted, when the older lady with styled white hair spoke.

"I kept waiting for an invitation, Edward. Strange I never received one."

The room felt silent, and my smile felt brittle. I looked towards Edward, but found his gaze steady on his grandmother. I had to hand it to the woman, she didn't crumble under his stare like most did. She held her own, refusing to back down. Her eyes were the exact same shade of green as Edward's and Elizabeth's.

"I didn't want to wait," he said, and it was clear that his grandmother didn't like the answer.

"Come now, Edward. Why don't we all settle down and just relax for a while?" The older man of the two said. His hair were fashionably blond, and a few white streaks ran along his temples. Unlike Edward, his eyes were gray. A cold gray when they slid over to me and scanned me from head to toe. I had never felt such an urge to cower away, but I didn't.

"Isabella." He said, his smile controlled, his appearance calm and composed despite the underlying tension.

"Bella," I said quietly, unnerved by him and Edward's grandmother. "I prefer Bella," I said, my voice level, matching his tone.

"Aw, you guys are awfully uptight," said the other man who was apparently huge, powerfully built and tall in height. He let out a loud guffaw and moved towards me. His smile jovial and big, his eyes twinkling with mischief "It's like watching the movie, Meet the In-Laws!"

When he slid an arm around my shoulders, I tensed and immediately wanted to pull away because despite his nature, he was intimidating in size and strength. My eyes met Edward's and I knew that he saw the naked fear in my eyes. I could have never hidden it even if I wanted to.

I steeled myself and forced myself to look up at the huge, beefy man. He grinned at me and said, "I'm Emmet. I have a feeling we're going to get along quite well, firecracker," he said, chuckling as he chucked me under my chin.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know your thoughts with a review. Take care till next time!


	26. Chapter 24 – Disguise

Hi guys! Hope you're all well. I'm very, very sorry for the long delay. It was unintentional and the course load over the past semester just blew me away. Thank you to all my friends who worried about me and encouraged me to continue writing. I've been out of touch so long that it took me a while to write this. But hey, it's only been a week since exams ended. I wish I could respond to all your kind reviews, but I figured you'd want the next chapter more than my response. The next chapter is unbeta'd because I was too eager to post it - so please excuse my grammatical errors.

**Important: THE SUMMARIES FOR ALL CHAPTERS TILL NOW ARE IN CHAPTER 16. REFRESH YOUR KNOWLEDGE IF YOU NEED TO :)**

**Summary for chapter 23:**

_The chapter begins with Bella overhearing Edward's phone call. She learns that Edward's family is coming over and Edward seems upset about it. On questioning him, she discovers that they are coming to meet her. Bella feels nervous about this and Edward expresses his distrust for their true motives (of Carlisle and Edward's grandmother). Edward, being born outside a marriage and then adopted, has never felt like a true part of the family and doubts they will ever treat Bella right. Edward remembers about the interview, and is proud of Bella when he hears of the instant job offer. They celebrate Bella's new job, but when Edward arrives after work at night he appears dismayed. He tells her about the Huntington Company's new request for a presentation from both Aro's and Edward's companies before the final decision is made. Edward's company is not on as wide a scale as Aro's and so the resources he can invest on this project are limited. Bella consoles Edward, and assures him that all of his staff knows he is trying his best. At night, she urges him to not overwork himself and allows him to share the same bed as her. They have an argument where Bella tells Edward to stop shielding her, and that she can face his family. Bella awkwardly slides into first day at the job (Edward insists on dropping her at the library), gets comfy with Mrs. Cope and meets the first grade children she will be reading to. She rushes home to prepare dinner for the family. Bella meets the family in a calm, steady manner although she is nervous as hell. Esme is kind, welcoming, warm. Emmett is a lovable, huge guy with a friendly manner. Carlisle is polite, but his cool demeanor and sharp, scrutinizing eyes give Bella the chills. And Edward's grandmother…is hostile, but has a subtle way of showing it._

**Chapter 24 – Disguise**

_**Recap**: When he slid an arm around my shoulders, I tensed and immediately wanted to pull away because despite his nature, he was intimidating in size and strength. My eyes met Edward's and I knew that he saw the naked fear in my eyes. I could have never hidden it even if I wanted to._

_I steeled myself and forced myself to look up at the huge, beefy man. He grinned at me and said, "I'm Emmet. I have a feeling we're going to get along quite well, firecracker," he said, chuckling as he chucked me under my chin. _

Taken aback by his frankness, I stared wide-eyed at him. Leaning in, he whispered conspiratorially, "Please tell me that's mouthwatering smell is what I think it is."

"Um-" I grasped for words. "I – uh…"

"Emmett, give it a break," Edward said, exasperation heavy in his voice. "Bella has a wonderful meal prepared for us by the smell of it. Why don't you all have a seat and give her some time to serve."

Emmett grinned widely at me, looking more like a child than an adult. "Grand dinner eh, fire cracker? Let's see what you got," he said, winking.

"Excuse me?" I said, regaining my senses.

"Ignore him," Edward said from behind me. "Emmett is always out of line. Now Emmett, if you'll be so kind to let me steal my wife." Edward lightly grasped my elbow, leading me towards the kitchen.

"Steal your wife, eh? When did you become such a knight?" Emmett called out teasingly.

"Fuck your self," Edward muttered. Emmett chuckled, "See, I knew you were somewhere in there."

"I heard that, Edward Cullen!" Esme's sweet voice echoed indignantly.

My lips twitched at the family exchange. Despite Edward's animosity towards Carlisle and his grandmother, it wasn't hard to tell that he felt differently about Esme and Emmett.

"He's…" I paused, trying to think of the right word, "…different?"

Edward smiled sardonically. "That's the understatement of the century."

In the kitchen, he stopped and stared at me speculatively, "You didn't have to prepare dinner. I didn't ask you to," he said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"I didn't have to. I simply wanted to. First impressions and all, you know?" I said, giving him my best 'I-got-this' smile.

The smile disappeared in a split second, and his eyes stared at me blankly, cold and calculating. Not at all like my Edward.

"Don't look at me like that," I said, before I could hold my words back.

"Like what?" He said, his voice eerily quiet.

"Like a stranger. I hate it when you at me like that – like we're from two different worlds."

Edward's eyebrows came together as he stared at me. "Our worlds _are_ completely different."

"That's not true. Well, for me at least," I said brushing my fingers against the five-o-clock shadow that ran along his jaw. Edward closed his eyes, infinitesimally leaning into my hand. A lock fell across his forehead and just as I reached to brush it away, he stepped back, building up the ever present wall between us.

When he opened his eyes, they were fierce with resolve. "What you saw in there was nothing, Bella. Nothing. Don't fool yourself. Not everyone works the way you do, Bella. Remember that," he said, his eyes locked on mine as he walked backwards for a few steps before turning away completely and heading to the living room.

I let out a frustrated breath before diving head first into the final task of serving.

Just as I was setting down the last dish on the table, Esme poked her head in. "Do you need any help?"

I smiled at her. "No, thank you. I was just getting ready to call everyone for dinner."

"Sorry, I should have come earlier. I just got caught up with Edward."

"I completely understand," I said reassuringly, as I placed the serving spoons on the table.

The door bell rang and we turned towards the sound.

"Is someone else invited?" Esme asked, looking at me questioningly.

"Not that I know off," I said, walking towards the door."Excuse me, I should see who it is."

I definitely was in for a surprise because our unexpected visitor was none other than Tanya. I kept my face carefully neutral, trying to make sure my face didn't reveal any of the resentment I felt for her. It was clear that she still had feelings towards Edward, but that combined with her coldness and dislike for me made her quite difficult to deal with.

"Tanya," I said quietly.

"Bella." She smiled that wonderful smile of hers, all shiny lips and bright eyes and just like that I felt my esteem drop two notches. Sensing my hesitance, she said, "Edward mentioned his family was coming over. I couldn't stop myself from coming down to greet them. I know it's unexpected. I hope you don't mind."

"No, please join us," I said, but in my mind I screamed, yes, I do mind. Didn't she realize how monumental today was for me – this was the first time I was introduced to the family as Edward's wife. Didn't she see how hard it was for his family to accept me, that by coming here she was effectively robbing me of any chance to bond with his family?

And as I stepped away to let her in, I almost felt like I was handing my position as Edward's wife to her. Standing there with my back to the family, with my hand gripping the cold brass, it was so easy to see how well she fit in…

…and I didn't at all.

"Tanya, sweetheart. What a lovely surprise…"

"Hey Tan! You look hot!"

Even Edward's grandmother was quick in greeting Tanya.

"Oh Tanya, just as beautiful as always."

Still, nothing hurt worse than watching Tanya kiss Edward's cheek precariously close to his mouth as his family watched.

It hurt. God, it hurt so bad. It was like a swift punch to the stomach. The only thing that kept me grounded was the stony look on Edward's face. His eyes met mine, and in them I found an apology.

I wanted none of it. All I wanted was some air to breathe, anything to stop that knot tightening in my throat.

"Excuse me," I said, practically choking the words out. I held onto my dignity by walking out of the room before dashing to the washroom on the second floor. Once in there, I stared at my reflection. Nothing spectacular like Tanya, my mind sneered at me. Turning away, I scrubbed my face roughly with my hands.

I had promised myself I wouldn't do this. I was so much better than this.

A knock sounded on the door, and without looking I knew it was Edward. Unable to stop myself, I pressed a palm against the door, needy to feel his proximity but too hesitant to let him know.

"Bella, it's me." Edward spoke in a hushed voice. The low tone only aggravated me more.

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Edward." I said, steeling my voice to sound strong, something I hardly felt like at the moment.

"I didn't call her, Bella. I'm not going to apologize or grovel over something I had no hand in," he said firmly, but then with a frustrated sigh he thumped his palm against the door and said, "Bella, stop this right now. We're mature adults that can talk this out."

Surprised and annoyed at his firmness, I unlocked the door. Glowering at him, I jabbed a finger into his chest. "That's it? So she comes when you don't invite her and you'll just let her have it her way? I didn't see you say a single word to discourage her!"

He glared back at me angrily and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. "I don't know what to say to you," he said.

His anger unwillingly brought tears to my eyes. The helplessness, anger and frustration had built up to an unbearable level. The need to be accepted had become overwhelming. Seeing all my efforts collapsing like a house of cards was more than I could pretend to handle.

"Oh shit, Bella. Don't cry!" he said, cupping my face, his thumbs swiftly wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry. So sorry," he said in a distressed voice. At a loss of what to do, Edward put his arms around me, squeezing tightly. And I would've been lying if I said it wasn't exactly what I needed right now.

He ran his fingers through my hair soothingly, stroking my neck and back as he went. After a few minutes, he spoke gently, his voice warm in my ears and his lips soft against my temple.

"I know Tanya's unexpected arrival hurt you. I honestly can't believe she just did that, she should've known better," he said, pulling away. Pushing my hair behind my ears, he continued talking, "You are right, Bella. I should have said something, it's just…I was surprised when I saw her there. It's like she just slipped right back in. My family had been upset about our break up and just seeing them together…it held me back." I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear another word.

"Hey, don't shut me out," he said, brushing his fingers against my brows. When I looked at him again, he looked tired. "It's not easy having your past and present in the same room, Bella. Things with Tanya have changed, but I still care for her. Our split wasn't easy on her, and I don't want to hurt her. I'm trying to do the right thing, but it's hard for me to keep pushing her away."

"This," he said, brushing his lips against mine, "is something only between us, okay? I don't love Tanya. It's only you that I want," he said, meeting my lips again. Only this time, it wasn't just a light touch. His palms resting on my shoulders, moved up to my neck and then to the base of my head as he tilted my face, making the kiss deeper. My hand on his back flexed, fingers knotting in his expensive suit jacket.

I felt my body heating up, my face and chest felt on fire, and my pulse hammered in my head. He licked seductively at my lips, and I greedily drank it all in - his undivided attention, his uninhibited need. He explored my mouth thoroughly, and I enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would, reciprocating by pressing my body hotly against his strong frame. Suddenly, he groaned and pulled away, flattening himself against the opposite wall.

His face was flushed like mine, lips red from our relentless kisses, eyes dark with need. We breathed heavily, trying to catch our respective breaths. "Everyone is probably wondering where we went," he said, his lips twitching at the humor of our unexpected hang up.

Shaking his head, he grasped my fingers, pulling me towards the stairs.

"Oh, there you are. We were beginning to wonder where the two of you went," Esme said with a mischievous smile.

Edward cleared his throat, "Nothing much. I just needed to tell Bella something I forgot about earlier."

"Bro, I'm sure we'd all love to hear about it," Emmett said with a loud guffaw. Edward glared at him while I shifted uncomfortably at the amicable teasing. And then, all of a sudden, my eyes caught Tanya's. Cool and perfect, she smiled like a woman whose confidence could not be easily shaken.

"Smells wonderful, Bella…I'm starved," she said in a way that implied we were good friends. Hardly, and especially not after the way she had treated me at Aro's party; as though she thought that I was one of Edward's rash decisions.

Taking the hint, I gestured towards the living room. "Please help yourselves. Dinner is ready…"

"Oh yeahhh," Emmet said with a hearty laugh at the table, "Little sis, I think you and I are going to get along just fine." He was a little rough around the edges, but seemed so warm and accepting that I couldn't stop myself from smiling back at him.

Edward pulled out the chair next to his. Just as I stepped to take the seat, Tanya quickly slid into it. She smiled at Edward from under his lashes, placing her hand on his forearm.

"Such a gentleman," she said.

While I felt like a complete outcast, Edward frowned at Tanya, staring at her meaningfully. Perhaps hoping that she'd take the hint, but Tanya refused to budge. Instead she looked away from Edward and reached for the salad, spooning some into her plate. Edward sighed at her tenaciousness, before moving towards me and pulling out the chair next to me.

Once I was completed seated, he whispered in my ear. "I'll talk to her…"

That's it? I questioned in my mind. That was all he would do for this tremendous dose of humiliation? It wasn't that I didn't understand Edward being in a difficult position; at the time of our marriage there still were many unresolved issues between Edward and Tanya. Still, that didn't mean that Tanya should cross her limits the way she had today.

I fought against the inevitable sting in my eyes as Edward took the seat next to Tanya. She smiled secretively down at her plate. This was a game to her, I realized. It didn't help that I was seated next to the two most intimidating family members, Carlisle and Edward's grandmother.

"Isabella," Edward's grandmother, Francine, said in her distinct voice, silencing everyone with her air of authority.

"Yes?" I asked, looking at her with a warm smile. Somewhere, I was hoping that my gracious attitude would win me extra points.

"The food is probably cold now, and I haven't even been served yet," she said without emotion. Her tone, however, did not hide her contempt or the acidic bite of her words.

I sucked in a breath to calm myself, to not take her words as harsh. Before I could formulate an appropriate response, Tanya jumped at the opportunity.

"Oh Mrs. Cullen, not to worry. I'll warm it up in a minute!" She said, standing at once from her seat.

"No, Tanya," Francine said, her voice echoing in the silenced room. "You're a guest. Isabella will do it. Besides, looking after these things is her duty as a wife."

So easy for her to say one sentence that effectively degraded me, reprimanded me and yet acknowledged me as being Edward's wife. I'd take the latter any day, I thought as I stood with my shredded respect in hand. As I picked the lamb tray, Edward voice cut through the air like a knife.

"Are you fucking serious?"

I raised my eyes to his face, his eyes dark, narrowed with anger focused on Francine. Much like my own avenging angel.

"Edward, don't speak like that in front of your grandmother," Carlisle said in a quiet yet angry voice.

"To hell with respect," Edward said harshly.

Feeling like I had to handle this situation by being the mature one, I said, "Edward it's fine. I'll warm it up."

His glare silenced me. "No, Bella. It's not _fine_. It's anything but."

He turned towards Francine. "That's enough. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior towards my wife. If she respects you, you should learn to return the favor."

Francine's emerald eyes shone with disgust. "Edward, I can see you have gone back to your reckless days." Edward clenched his jaw, as Francine gave a condescending laugh. "You want me to respect this girl. _This girl!_ Someone of her background can't even begin to dream of the extent of my influence."

That hit home, I thought painfully.

Edward smiled, but there was no humor in it. "Mrs. Francine Cullen, well said. You're just as pretentious as you've always been. Can't say that I'm surprised."

Francine eyes flared. In a low voice, still laden with authority, she said, "Leave at this moment, Edward. I don't want to see your face. And don't come back until you realize your mistake."

"I don't think I can stand to be here anyway. I was leaving before you even asked."

"Edward, come on. We can be mature about this," Emmett said in such a serious voice that I would have laughed about it on another occasion.

"Emmett, I think we're past that." Edward said, before striding towards me and grasping my palm.

"Edward, listen to me at least," Tanya said, her voice shrill with frustration. "We need to talk."

Edward's back stiffened, and he turned around to look at her, staring for a long moment. When he spoke his voice was quiet, steady…yet gentle, "Tanya, the only person I want or need to be with right now is my wife."

And with that he walked away from his family with me in tow…

**A/N: The chapter was shorter than usual, but I felt that this was a good place to stop. I hope all of you remember the story now :) Let me know your thoughts.**


	27. Chapter 25  Broken dreams

A/N: Hi! Hope you guys are good. Thanks for all your reviews! You guys are great :)) Here is the next chapter. It's unbeta'd, so forgive me for my mistakes :) **The summaries for all chapters, including the past chapter are in chapter 16. **

**Chapter 25 - Broken dreams**

**Recap: **

_"Edward, listen to me at least," Tanya said, her voice shrill with frustration. "We need to talk."_

_Edward's back stiffened, and he turned around to look at her, staring for a long moment. When he spoke his voice was quiet, steady…yet gentle, "Tanya, the only person I want or need to be with right now is my wife."_

_And with that he walked away from his family with me in tow…_

"Edward, stop," I said, snatching my hand away from his once we were away from the house and in the garage.

"What are you doing?!" I said, coming to halt.

He clenched his jaw, speaking through his teeth, "I can't stand the sight of that woman. We're going to my apartment."

"Come on, Edward…I know she was being difficult, but you weren't any better."

"Why are we doing this here, Bella? I'm not exactly in the mood to reason with you. Now please, do me a favor and get in the car," he said harshly.

I stood my place, glaring at him with an equal intensity that said, 'I ain't backing down today, Cullen'.

Edward glared back, neither of us willing to let it go.

"You know, you have absolutely no right to look at me like that," I said haughtily. "And expect me to follow your orders. I'm your wife, and it's time you accepted that."

"For God's sake, Bella! I'm not ordering you around, I'm requesting to you. There's a time for everything, and right now is not a good time to rehash these issues. Please be reasonable," he said calmly but sternly.

"Be reasonable? Were you reasonable?" I said, hurt and accusation in my voice.

"What?" He asked, his brows coming together in confusion.

"You allowed that woman take my place," I threw the words at him in anger.

Edward's mouth tightened, "I know what you're thinking, but that's not it at all."

"I didn't hear you complaining,"

"If you trusted me, you wouldn't question my integrity."

"This isn't about your integrity, it's about my self-respect."

When Edward didn't answer, I continued, "Did you ever wonder how I would have felt when you let her take my place. Did you, even for a second, feel my humiliation as I stood there?"

"I did, Bella," he said quietly. "I'm tied in all different directions. I know you don't understand, and I wished I could explain it better."

"I want to hear it all. Who's tying you down? Tanya?" I asked, confused and hurt.

"Let's talk later, Bella. I don't want my family to hear about all this," Edward said hesitantly before pulling the passenger door open.

When I stared questioningly at him, he sighed. "I'll explain."

Once he was seated, he reversed the car in his usual rash, dangerous way before pulling onto the street.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were a daredevil," I muttered, still clutching my chest.

Edward smiled for the first time that night. A lop-sided mischievous smile that made him look devastatingly handsome. I sunk in my seat, trying to seize my inappropriate thoughts.

"Well, I'm listening," I announced, proud of how steady my voice sounded.

"Tanya was rude and her behavior was completely unacceptable. I apologize for how she acted and my lack of response," he said, sounding terribly formal.

"Get to the point, Edward. Why didn't you respond?" I said, absurdly pleased with my new found confidence. It was, well…kick ass.

"Tanya isn't well, Bella."

"What's wrong with her?" I said, sitting up, suddenly feeling really terrible for the thoughts I had been harboring about her.

"She's been having panic attacks since we broke up," he said in a grave voice.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" I asked, still stunned by the new discovery. Perfect Tanya, how could anything be wrong with her life?

"It's not my place and frankly, it's her personal business. She didn't take it well, but she got better with time. Ever since we got back, she's been acting strange again. Needy. Restless. Angry. Careless with her pills," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"That's awful." I said, imagining for the first time how hard it would have been for her to let Edward go.

"I can't help but blame myself. I started this. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't be going through such a hard time," he said regretfully.

"Don't blame yourself, Edward. Just because something happened to her doesn't mean you take responsibility for her actions. You should talk to her."

He was quiet for a moment before he took a deep breath.

"I can't hurt her. I won't turn my back on her, she's been there for me far too long. She's stood by me when my family didn't."

"You can't hurt her," I repeated in monotone, then turned towards him as we stopped on the red light. "But what if you're hurting me?"

"You can understand me, Bella. She can't," he said sadly.

I turned away from him, not speaking to him for the rest of the ride to his apartment.

~x~x~x~x~

Edward's apartment was different from the Cullen Mansion. Unlike the grand mahogany furniture, the apartment was sleek and sharp. The furniture was black with a metallic edge. Every direction held a new state of art technology.

The walls were painted boldly in dark blues and browns. The few paintings that hung on the walls were ordinary, yet exquisite in their own way.

Frowning in concentration, I picked up one of the small pictures that lay on a glass table. Staring hard at the picture, I tried to recognize the woman in the picture. I gasped with the realization that came.

"Your mother's picture," I said the words before I could stop them.

"She's a part of my life that I never can nor will ever forget. Think of it as a reminder."

"She looks happy…and so full of life…"

"It's from before I was born." And those few words spoken so easily broke the peace of the moment. Quietly, I put the frame down, leaving the room without another word.

Once I was in the bedroom, I sighed when I looked down at my dress. There was no way I would be able to sleep in this attire. Deciding to wear Edward's shirt and pjs, I pushed my hair from my back to unzip my dress. Twisting my arms at odd angles, I tried to push the zip down further…unsuccessfully, of course. Huffing, I tried again, inhaling sharply as I heard the door open. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes locked with Edward's in the mirror.

For a second, he stood there, quiet yet not immune to the sudden awareness of our attraction. And all the anger and hurt just vanished. I swallowed, my fingers twitching against the zipper. The right thing, no, the polite thing, would have been to apologize and shut the door. But Edward being Edward, never did what I expected him to. Instead he shut the door behind him and leaned back, his eyes beginning a downward descent. My cheeks flushed as I felt his appreciative gaze wander over me.

Surprising us both, he walked towards me from behind, stopping only a hair's breath away. He bent slightly, whispering, "Why don't you let me help you with that?" His voice was warm, seductive even, but still there was that ever present air of gentleness and compassion. Brushing my fingers away, he unzipped the dress all the way to the bottom. My eyes closed, knowing that he could see the back of my bra and panties. His fingertips, rough with their calluses, brushed gently against my spine before he stepped away.

"I'll let you get dressed," he began in a hoarse voice, clearing his throat he continued, "Help yourself with whatever you need." He quickly went into the adjoining washroom, shutting the door slightly forcefully behind him. I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror, not surprised by my flushed face and dark eyes.

Shaking my head, I muttered as I changed into Edward's clothes, "I'm so hopeless, it's not even funny."

Well, Edward's clothes were a little too big, I thought as I smiled at the silly image of the terribly loose clothes. When Edward finally came out, his eyes widened slightly before he chuckled.

"Definitely not your style."

I gave him a shrug, "Hey, don't blame me. It's not like I was prepared."

Edward rolled his eyes, clearly indicating that he was done talking about his argument with Francine. Edward pushed the comforter away and settled comfortably against his pillow, and then he threw an arm over his head.

"Bella, I'm beat. We'll do this tomorrow, okay?" He said, turning over to switch off the lamp.

"Oh well, okay. Good night," I said, not pressing anymore.

"G'night," he mumbled.

"Oh and Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Get rid off those awful pants, you can't be comfortable in those. Those are for winter," he said with a sleepy chuckle.

"Oh, I knew that, but it was the only pair in the closet."

"I don't come here that often that's why. Don't worry, Bella. You're safe with me," he said, his voice low with sleep. Taking a deep breath, I loosened the draw strings and dropped the pjs.

Getting under the covers, I snuggled into the warmth, hearing Edward's deep breaths.

"I know I'm always safe with you, Edward," I said with a quiet sigh before closing my eyes.

~x~x~x~x~

The next morning, I woke to gentle, warm fingertips moving along my forehead. I frowned, turning away from the tickling sensation.

"My, aren't we grouchy in the morning?" Edward whispered, chuckling.

"You've got too much drama in your life. I get tired, so deal with it," I grumbled, before pushing my face against my pillow.

Edward laughed, rubbing his palm against my back. Just as I was beginning to enjoy the sensation, he asked, "Not in the mood to go to work?"

My eyes shot open and darted to the alarm clock. Seven – fifteen.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, jumping up from the bed.

"That's what I thought," Edward said, smirking just a little. I glared at him.

"You should have woken me up," I said accusingly. "I was mad at you first. But now…" I narrowed my eyes at him as he fought a smile. "…now you've really blown it."

Edward chuckled as he got up from the bed. "Big, bad Bella."

"Don't you have to get work at eight too?" I asked indignantly, searching for a towel in the closet.

I almost growled on the cheeky smile on his face when he said, "Nop. My first meeting is at 9:00."

"Fine. I'm going to go shower, you can go after. Okay?" I asked, still try to maintain my angry face.

"I could always join you," Edward said suggestively.

My mouth dropped open as my face flushed red. "I don't think so," I said, shaking my head in embarrassment.

Shutting the door, I leaned back against it. "Why doesn't that seem like such a bad idea anymore," I said to myself, thumping my head against the door.

When I looked back at the girl in the mirror, I saw bright eyes, pink cheeks and not the slightest hint of the girl I was two months ago.

~x~x~x~x~

"When's the meeting that you're giving the Hutchinsons?" I asked, dreading the reply.

Edward predictably stiffened, his hands tightening against the steering wheel.

"The day after." His short reply was meant to be a deterrent, but I wasn't going to let go that easily.

"And Aro's?" I asked, leaning back while looking at him.

"The same day. Just before me."

"You're worried," I stated. When Edward didn't respond, I probed further.

"Aren't you?"

"Bella, there's more to this than me being worried. I want this deal. There is no being shy about this. I absolutely need this deal," he said, his green eyes burning with ferocity.

"Is this just about you beating Aro? To get back on him for what he did to you? The way he spoke of you?"

"This isn't about beating Aro. It's about me getting back the deal that was originally my right. Aro came in and spoiled the picture, lured the Hutchinsons away with his mighty ways. My reputation depends on this deal, Bella. I've invested so much in this deal. Not just money, but hours and hours of hard work," he said, staring unseeing through the windshield.

"Ugh, I hate Aro. I don't know why he's doing this," I said, frustrated and annoyed with Aro's behaviour.

"It's me," Edward said gravely.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"He loves to watch me suffer. First with the pictures, now with this deal," Edward said, his lips curling into a sneer. "But he's going to get the best of me this time. I'm going to fight him tooth and nail for this deal."

"What I don't understand is why is he doing this to you? If he has an international company why is he suddenly interested in this deal?" I said, rubbing my fingers against my forehead.

"Because I got in the way," Edward said quietly. He turned to stare outside his window, seemingly lost in his own world.

Just as I was about to ask further, Edward spoke abruptly, "We're here."

I sighed then turned towards him. With his face still turned away, I leaned to kiss his cheek.

"I know you'll try your best," I murmured against his cheek. "You're a good guy, Edward. Fate always has good things in store for good people."

I smiled as I said the words. That's what my mother used to say, I thought. Strange that for once, thinking about her brought a smile to my face.

Just as I was turning the thought over in my head, Edward turned his face towards me. He looked into my eyes, his gaze drifting down to my lips. Leaning in, he kissed me softly.

"And you're a really nice girl, Bella," he said with a smile, although his voice held a hint of sadness.

And as I stood outside on the sidewalk, watching his car disappear, I clasped my hands together tightly. Closing my eyes, I whispered desperately, "God, please have something good in store for Edward."

~x~x~x~x~

This day was the same as the others, but I felt conflicted, stretched taut, unable to enjoy the bright laughter and happy smiles of the children that surrounded me. Still they chattered anxiously around me, wondering what the result of the present story would be.

Some of the more confident ones stepped forward to get a closer look at the colorful pictures, while the shy ones still hung back. It was these few moments which made me forget for just a while who I was and how much pain my past held.

At the end of the reading session, I collected the books and organized them into piles on the short tables made for children. I smiled as I looked at a group of them huddling together to see a picture book.

"Adorable, aren't they?" The young teacher with penny colored hair said.

I turned and smiled at her. She smiled back, a curious look in her eyes.

"You have any of your own?" She asked. An image of Edward with a bronze haired girl flashed before my eyes.

"Not yet," I said before thinking. "Your self?" I asked, shaking my head to clear my thoughts.

"I'm not married," she said with a mischievous smile, "Too young," she offered conspiratorially.

"Ah, I see," I said, although I felt that I was probably younger than she was.

"So," she began conversationally, "heard from Mrs. Cope that you got married a while back?"

"Yeah, a few months ago" I said uncomfortably, not liking the direction of the conversation.

"So where did you go for your honeymoon?" She asked. I looked around for an excuse, a child, Mrs. Cope, anything.

"Uh, we didn't. My husband was kind of busy." Dealing with our public entanglement with the Mallorys, I thought hopelessly.

"Oh, you poor thing," she said sorrowfully, and I mentally rolled my eyes.

"What does he do?" She asked suddenly, and I gave her a fake confused look."Your husband, I mean?"

Oh dear, I thought, how do I get out of this one? "He works for Masens & Cullens Corporation."

"Oh, I have a cousin there too. What's your husband's name?" She asked, oblivious to my hesitation.

"Edward," I said, crossing my fingers behind my back, hoping she wouldn't connect the dots.

Her heavily made up eyes widened before she asked in a shocked, but loud voice, "You're Edward Cullen's wife?"

I grimaced at her intensity. All the teachers had stopped what they were doing and had turned towards us with matching expressions of shock, of course.

"Yes, I am," I muttered. Way to be subtle, woman. "If you'll excuse me, I think Linda needs my help."

~x~x~x~x~

One day led to the next, this day being no different from the others. Edward was struggling, I could see it and I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do other than watch him work himself over. Edward refused to speak about his family, although they were still staying over at the Cullen Mansion.

Day gave way to the night, and I glanced at the clock once again. It was 1 a.m. and Edward hadn't called all day. I reached for the phone, then hesitated. Clenching my hand into a fist, I pulled it back. No, I didn't want to get in his way.

I pulled Edward's robe tight around myself, breathing in his warm, spicy scent. Feeling too restless to go to bed, I headed for the living room. Just as I had begun to pace, I heard the sound of keys jingling in a lock. Breathing a sigh of relief, I moved towards the apartment's entrance but stopped short as I took in Edward's disheveled appearance.

Hair sticking out in all directions as though he had spent hours pulling on them, shirt untucked and crinkled, and his tie hung loose.

"Edward?" I said, not sure what exactly I was asking him.

He rubbed his palm against his forehead, squinting his eyes at me as he said, "Sorry. I know I'm late."

Unable to stop myself, I grabbed his hand as an unsettling feeling crept over me. "No deal is more important than your health," I said, squeezing his hand.

He pulled his hand away, and I stepped back as though I had been stung.

"Don't bother yourself, Bella. Go to bed," he said, turning away to hang his jacket in the closet.

Feeling angry now, I said, "Tell me why I shouldn't bother, Edward? I am your wife. Dammit!" I knew I was pushing him, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I was worried sick about him. It wasn't my fault that I had fallen in love with a man who was frustratingly stubborn.

Edward looked up, his blood shot eyes flaring up in retort. He spoke calmly, but his words impossibly just made things worse.

"I so don't need this right now," he said, holding up his hands up. Shaking his head, he brushed past me, heading towards his study.

"You know, Edward," I began in a shaky voice, "I care for you. I know you don't understand, but sometimes, I wished you would," I whispered, knowing he would heard the words.

He stopped with his back to me. Turning his head slightly, he said, "Maybe you should have listened to me when I told you to not get too close."

He turned the the door knob, then paused, "I'm not coming to bed, Bella. Good night."

And then the door closed with a click, and I still stood there, rooted to the spot, feeling dismissed, unloved, and lonely...so, so lonely.

~x~x~x~x~

I didn't sleep the rest of night, and neither did Edward. I knew this because despite trying not to care, I couldn't stop myself from checking up on him. And every single time, the closed door of the study was a painful reminder that he didn't need me the slightest.

Maybe I was a dependent fool. That had to be it. Love makes one blind, so true...why else couldn't I see that he didn't feel the same way about me?

As the door to the bedroom opened, I quickly shut my eyes, not ready at all to face Edward. A heavy weight settled beside me, and I tried my hardest to stay still. The back of Edward's fingertips brushed against my cheek, and that gentle touch broke my heart just a bit more. I felt his warm lips against my forehead, and the knot in my throat tightened.

"Such a wonderful actress," Edward said with a wry chuckle. Despite his bad timing, I opened my eyes and gave him a watery smile.

His face was drawn in exhaustion, but he smiled at me. He brushed my hair behind my ear. "I don't know how you put up with an asshole like me."

I didn't have anything to say to him, so I merely looked away. "Hey," he said, fingers brushing my chin, "there's no way I can go to the meeting if I leave my wife with such a sad face."

He pulled my palm to his chest, engulfing my hand in his much larger one. "I care for you, Bella. And if you don't know that, you don't know me at all," he said, brushing his lips against my knuckles. "Today just isn't a professional challenge for me, but a personal battle too."

intrigued, I pushed my feelings aside and asked, "Why?" Maybe I shouldn't have, but I knew at a moment of vulnerability, Edward would give me anything I wanted.

"Aro loved my mother," Edward said, turning my ring around my finger. I gasped at the revelation.

"Then why?" I blubbered, unable to understand the animosity between the two.

"I came in between them," Edward said quietly, almost hesitantly before standing up. Bending down he kissed my cheek, but I turned my head and kissed him on the lips.

"Will you tell me how the meeting goes?" I asked, still astounded by Aro's love for Elizabeth.

"You'll be the first one to know," were the last words Edward said to me before leaving the room.

~x~x~x~x~

It's true that nothing can prepare you for life's worst blows. Four hours later, I stared at Edward, my heart pounding in my chest, knowing the truth but not wanting to believe it. Please let me be wrong, God, I chanted in my head.

"It's over, Bella. I lost the deal," Edward said in such a low voice that it seemed as though he was speaking to himself. "I failed her, I can never do anything right," he murmured, pulling at his hair with both hands.

Why is it that sometimes it feels as though your whole world comes down crashing on you? The phrase had never made any sense to me…but I could see it now.

I could see how life changes your perspective of things.

Somewhere in my mind, I had thought we could be happy. Happy living in our own fantasy world, where the story would end with a happily ever after. Why can't it always be that way - the princess and her prince in eternal bliss.

I knew now that fairy tales were not true. The abyss of pain always reared it's ugly head and I couldn't be the ice to sooth it. The bereft princess despaired over her wounded prince. My beautiful prince who was looking up at me with those defeated eyes.

A man who had lost everything, looking to me for solace, something I wished I could provide to him but I wasn't sure I had any strength for that.

We silently stared at each other saying more than we ever could with words.

_I need you_, his vulnerable eyes beckoned.

Carefully I stepped towards him, his eyes urging me on. He opened his arms for me, an invitation or a plea I don't know …. but it didn't matter. I bent down on my knees and came on level with his face. As though he couldn't stand the distance, he pulled me into his warm embrace. I hugged him back tightly, letting him hang on to me for dear life. A strangled voice escaped from his throat, and I instinctively clutched him tighter at a loss of what to do. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled huge breaths as if trying to calm himself with my scent.

Where was the Edward that had always stepped in and taken charge? My eyes filled with tears as this weak man, _my man_, more vulnerable than I had ever seen him, clung to me as if any distance from me would kill him. So different from the man I had met five months ago at the art gallery, the confident, charming entrepreneur who had exuded a charismatic aura of power. It had just taken one look into those eyes and I was a goner.

Dragging myself to the present I painfully squeezed out "I am so sorry Edward." My voice thick with tears sounded hoarse.

He held me tighter as if acknowledging my words.

Why? I questioned the forces in the heavens, what had we done to deserve all that came our way? I angrily glared at the ceiling, trying to keep my tears in check by gathering all the conviction I could from the heart beating in sync with mine.

So I did all I could…I held on to my husband as the sea of despair and loss washed over us, once again engulfing us and I let it because the damage was done. Once he had held me upright when I didn't have that conviction, now it was my turn. Kneeling on the cool granite of the library office, I made myself a promise - I would keep my vows. God had decided to test my love and I sure as hell would get Edward and I through this...even if it had to be the last thing I ever did.

Edward kissed my hair in response, his warm, moist lips calming the tempest whirling through my mind.

"Thank you, Bella," his voice whispered. The melodic rhythm of his breaths made me close my eyes as I rested my head on the chest of the man I loved.

_We would get through this together, _I vowed and hugged him even tighter if it was possible.

**A/N: Phew...longer than normal chapter. So there you go for those that asked...we're at the prologue now (sorry, I'm awful at predicting). I need some help with writing the next chapter or so - so anyone who has good knowledge of business, firms, entrepreneurs please PM/review. Anyway, let me know your thoughts. Always eager to hear what you guys have to say.**


	28. Chapter 26 - Shattered Hearts

A/N: Hey guys,I know I'm the worse author ever. I know I've been awful with the updates, but I had a major case of writer's block and I really felt like stopping writing. Some of you were very supportive and that's why this chapter is here today. Hope you like it. Remember it's from after the prologue scene where Edward tells Bella that he's lost the deal.

* * *

_**Recap:** "Thank you, Bella," his voice whispered. The melodic rhythm of his breaths made me close my eyes as I rested my head on the chest of the man I loved._

_We would get through this together, I vowed and hugged him even tighter if it was possible._

**Chapter 26 - Shattered Hearts **

Life has a funny way of making you think you've reached your lowest point. It's only when you step back and watch that everything just begins to collapse in front of your eyes.

Maybe it was fate.

Whatever it was, it didn't seem fair.

As if the moment in my office wasn't heart breaking enough…Edward drew back even more. It started out in little ways. I still remembered the night that Edward had lost the deal.

He sat through the night in his study, staring blankly through the crystal glass. The black label of the Jack Daniels mocked me from its place on Edward's desk. Even in the darkest of times, Edward had refused to lean on me.

When he returned to my room in the early hours of dawn, he stumbled against the sofa. And my heart lurched as I quelled the need to help him. I knew that if I tried to help him now, he would despise me because it would hurt his pride. As he turned to the sofa, I couldn't stop myself.

"Edward, come and lie down on the bed with me," I said, trying to keep my voice steady so that it would leave no room for arguing.

Surprisingly, he hadn't refused. Perhaps it was remorse, but whatever it was it made him more agreeable. He lay with his back to me, and I allowed myself to press my palm against his lower back. His warm vitality calmed my mind, so what if he didn't have the deal? He did have me, and I would help him through this just as he had helped me through the most god-awful night of my life.

And while I was reassuring myself, my touch seemed to have the opposite effect on him. He stiffened, his back muscles stretching taut against my palm. I fisted my hand in his shirt, just holding onto it for a moment before whispering, "Not a chance, Edward Cullen," I said, referring to him trying to withdraw. I moved myself towards him until my front was flush with his back, wrapping my arm securely around him. I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against the back of his head, hoping in my mind that he would understand the words behind my actions.

_I'm sorry, Edward. I'll always love you._

At times, I really wished there was a way I could help…that I had some knowledge in business to help find a way out of this mess that Aro had made for us.

In what only could be a disaster, the situation went downhill from there. Within days, investors were backing out of Masen & Cullen's corporation. The stock prices plummeted, and Edward grew more haggard. He hardly slept, and neither did I. I lay beside him every night watching him restlessly twist and turn around in the sheets.

Edward's family began questioning him. Francine, his grandmother, definitely didn't go easy on him on the phone. I could tell that just by watching Edward's face; his eyes hardened like cold shards of ice as he listened, and his jaw clenched as he shut the phone forcefully. From what I had gathered, Edward being an adopted child was held to higher ideals than others. Carlisle didn't shy away from expressing his displeasure at the situation either and blamed Edward's temperament for the situation at hand.

A few days later, I came home from work to find a distraught Edward sitting on the dinner table. He had his eyes closed, fingers pressed against the bridge of his nose. I set my purse down, and slid my palms against his shoulders, squeezing them to eliminate some of the strain.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I asked softly. He sighed, letting his head drop against the table. Slightly alarmed, I rubbed his back.

"Talk to me," I said, my voice trembling slightly.

"I sold my apartment today," he said dejectedly. I knew Edward held his apartment close to his heart so it came as a shock that he had sold it.

"Why?" I asked, shocked.

"The company is running out of funds. I had no choice. A few months ago, I had decided to take several loans to expand. I figured the deal would help support us if things got tight. Of course, that was before god damn Aro stepped into the picture."

"And so you sold your apartment to pay off those loans," I concluded sadly, realizing that Edward's apartment and furnishings would have cost a small fortune.

Edward looked through the window, his eyes tired. "I didn't have a choice, Bella. Some of those loans were personal loans that I had to take because Francine wouldn't _allow_ me to take them on the company's behalf. She thought of me as incapable.

No surprise there, she guessed correctly," he said disdainfully. "Francine Cullen, the woman who can never be wrong."

"Don't say that," I said, "It wasn't your fault, Edward. The deal was almost finalized. You took a calculated risk, not a stupid one."

He didn't appear to be listening. His eyes were glassy as he stared out the window. "Francine is coming tonight, Bella."

I squeezed my eyes as all the humiliation from her last visit struck me as a tidal wave. Without a thought, my fingers tightened on Edward's shoulders.

"Why?" I asked, angered. The woman couldn't have chosen a worse time. Edward was having a hard enough time as it was.

He placed his hand over mine that was resting on his shoulder. Startled by his voluntary touch, it took me some time to make sense of the words he had said.

"Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure. She's not happy, Bella. "

~x~x~x~x~

Our much awaited guest arrived shortly after nine that night. Throughout the evening, Edward had been quiet, subdued, but that wasn't different from how the past few days had been. Today, he was more resigned as though he was prepared for tonight.

Grudgingly, I opened the door trying to maintain some semblance of a smile.

"Mrs. Masen," I said pleasantly as Francine Masen's sharp green eyes peered at me.

"Bella," she said somewhat dismissively. My anger simmered under the surface as her comments about me from the last time came to mind. She sure had one hell of a complex!

She handed her coat to me, and I mentally rolled my eyes at her rude manner. "Please have a seat. Dinner is ready," I said courteously, trying to play the good host.

"Edward." Her voice was artic as she addressed him. When she took her seat, she stared pointedly at him as she awaited his greeting.

"Francine," Edward replied, the rebellion in his voice loud and clear as he refused to address her as his grandmother.

She gave a sharp laugh, harsh in its undertones. "I see that your manners haven't improved since my last visit."

Edward smiled wryly, but his eyes were bitter. "I'm nothing if not brutally honest."

Francine eyes glittered under the overhead lamp. "And you'd be nothing if it weren't for me and your mother."

Feeling that the situation was spiralling out of control, I intervened abruptly. "Dinner is ready!" I said a little too brightly. "Mrs. Cullen, I hope you have brought an appetite."

However, Edward and Francine weren't paying attention. Rather they were silently glaring at each other.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Thank the Lord for that. I had made sure the beef chilli was nice and hot so that Francine wouldn't complain about the food being cold. In my heart, I really, really hoped she would burn her mouth.

Edward continued to eye Francine as he drank his red wine slowly. Francine ignored him, zeroing in on me.

"So Bella, I heard you got a job?" Francine said, a smile curling on her darkly painted lips.

"Yes, one at the library nearby. I'm the librarian's assistant," I said hesitantly.

Francine choked on her wine. "Is this your idea of a joke?" She asked.

When I gave her a deliberate glance, she stared at me for a whole second before letting out a degrading laugh.

"Edward Cullen's wife accepts an assistant's job at a lowly library!" She said humorously, then turned to Edward and said, "She's definitely not what I had in mind for you, Edward."

This time I didn't wait for Edward to speak me. "That's enough," I said quietly.

Francine's eyes flared. "Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?"

"She's my wife," Edward said, staring at Francine as he swirled the red wine in his glass.

She turned her focus back to me, "Wife," she scoffed. "I can see how much your wife values our respect in the society. At the very least she could have taken a job at a worthy place."

"The job at the library is very rewarding," I retorted instantly, my mind flitting to the images of the young children eagerly peering at me.

Francine laughed condescendingly, "So naïve," she said before snapping at me, "You should have joined the company, that way maybe you could have stopped Edward from committing such a monumental mistake."

Edward sat up suddenly, and I pressed my hand against his thigh under the table. I stared at Francine sternly and in a calm voice said, "Edward is completely capable of making decisions for the company."

Edward silently glowered at Francine. He leaned in menacingly, eyes narrowed at Francine.

"Cut the crap. Why are you here?" He asked with no pretense whatsoever.

Unfazed, Francine folded her arms. "You disgust me, Edward."

Edward didn't miss a beat. "Answer the question."

"Making you the CEO of Masen & Cullen was the worst decision I could have ever made. I'm here to fix my mistake," she said coldly, her face frigid with disgust.

My heart dropped in my stomach. I felt sick as I grasped the meaning behind her words. She was firing Edward. The implications were so horrifying, I had to close my eyes to hold my composure.

"You are the most ungrateful person I have ever met. It's a pity to see Elizabeth's sacrifices going to waste," she said, her words laced with hatred.

I was shocked by how ruthless Francine Masen could be. Struck by Edward's silence, I turned towards him expecting to find him hurt, crushed by Francine's harsh words. But I was wrong. His jaw was clenched, eyes hard as stone as he stared at Francine.

"Thank you, Francine," he said, his voice bitter. "Thank you for reminding me once again that I never was a part of this family."

Francine angered by his manner, stood up abruptly, "If it were for me Edward, you would have never been a part of my family. And if Elizabeth would have listened to me, you would have never been part of this world," she said bitterly.

Unable to hear further, I quelled the urge to block my ears. "Francine, stop it," I said forcefully.

Her green eyes burned with ferocity, "I won't. You've pushed me too far this time, Edward. Get out of this house. And take your poor excuse of a wife with you." I had always known that Francine was the owner of Masen & Cullen corportation and the house, but I had never imagined that she would ever turn on Edward the way she had.

Edward stood up and threw his glass of red wine on the polished wood floor, the sound of breaking glass becoming a reflection of his anger.

Eyes dark with contempt, Francine spoke harshly, "Your time at Masen & Cullen is over, Edward. As the owner of the company, I officially dismiss you from your position."

My eyes teared up at the animosity in the room, but Edward stood tall, unwilling to submit to the cruelty of Francine Masen.

It was in this moment that I realized that everything I had known was about to change. Not only had Edward lost his job of ten years, but we had also lost our home.

~x~x~x~x~

The hum of the car was the only sound as we rode in silence. Edward broodingly stared through the window as he gently steered the car through the streets of New York.

"What now?" I asked somewhat hoarsely, disturbed by his indifferent manner.

Edward tightened his hands on the steering wheel before speaking quietly, "I don't know, Bella. Maybe Franco will have some answers for us."

Franco may have been Edward's mentor through the years, but I doubted he would have a hopeful answer for us today.

Frustrated by Edward's unperturbed and reclusive manner, I spoke abruptly, "How can you be so calm after what happened?!"

Edward's tired eyes turned to me, and he sighed. "Bella, Francine's behavior wasn't a surprise to me. She has always been very clear on how she feels about me."

"I hate her," I said, overcome by emotion. "No child deserves to be adopted into such a family."

"Well, the circumstances under which I was adopted were less than ideal so the family's bitterness is to be expected."

"What circumstances?" I probed gently, hoping he would reveal more of himself to me.

"It's all in the past. It doesn't matter now," Edward said, shaking his head.

Oh Edward, when will you ever share your story with me, I thought sadly, turning to stare outside the window, trying to lose myself in New York's traffic.

I leaned against the light post in front of Franco's lawn as Edward relayed the story to Franco.

Franco ran a head over his shaved head. "I can't believe Francine's guts. Unbelievable," he said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"If I could, I would have resigned right now, Edward," he said, looking at Edward through sincere eyes, "but I can't afford it. I need the money for Genelia's hospital bills."

Edward leaned back against his car, a dark shadow crossing his face. "Franco, you know I would never ask anything like that from you. You know me better than that," he said, a hint of hurt ran deep in his voice.

"Just tell me what to do. Just do what you've always done," Edward continued, looking down at his hands.

Franco moved in front of Edward and placed his hands on Edward's shoulders. "Regardless of what Francine says, I've always believed you. No matter what I'll always be behind you, and you know that," he paused, letting the thought set in. "That deal was ours. It's not your fault that Aro came in and destroyed the picture."

"I keep fucking everything up," Edward said, running his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"It's not you, it's your past. This is such a mess."

Edward smiled wryly, "Well, that's my life for you."

"Man, let's turn in for today. I think you've had enough for today. " Franco said, squeezing Edward's shoulders. "You know this is your home so please don't leave. Stay for however long you want."

Edward shook his head grimly, "No Franco, it's not right. You don't need more problems than you already have."

"What nonsense," Franco said angrily. "I think of you like my own son, and I'll be damned if I have to request you again."

"Franco-" Edward began, ready to protest, but Franco raised his hand.

"You and Bella can take the room on the lower floor," he said firmly, leaving no room for an argument.

As he walked back to the entrance, he stopped by me. He stared at me for a minute before speaking in a hushed voice, "Trust me, Bella. He's better off without them. They never understood or accepted him."

I didn't say anything, after all what could I say? There was nothing I could do. For God's sake I didn't even understand why the Cullens hated Edward so much. I sighed, starting to walk behind Franco. I stopped, then turned back to Edward. "You coming?" I asked.

He muttered something before following me inside.

Franco lived in a small, two-storey house that was comfortable and cozy. I wished that the circumstances under which I first visited Franco's house were different, but life rarely took the path we wanted it to. This night, like many others, was restless. It was hard to sleep when there were so many troubles looming over us.

As I woke up the next morning, I spread my hand against the cool sheets in search of Edward. When I didn't feel him beside me, my eyes opened, searching for him. I found him sitting on the foot of the bed with a newspaper, a pen carefully poised in his hand.

At the look of concentration on his face, I asked, "What are you doing?"

He looked up, staring at me seriously. "Looking for a job," he said firmly. I did a double take. "What?"

Looking at the perturbed look on my face, he said, "Bella, I need a job, I'm practically bankrupt. Franco is kind to us, but we can't stay here forever."

"Edward, I have some savings from my previous jobs -" I started to say more, but Edward shook his head.

"You can't pay for my mistakes. I need to fix this myself," he said.

I glared at him, "Just because I'm a woman you won't accept money from me?"

"It's not that, Bella. I can handle this, trust me. I don't want you to spend your money on this of all things. Not this way. I have a few contacts that owe me a favor," he said.

"You're going to work under people who used to work for you?" I asked, feeling a pang of pain for the hardships Edward was willing to go through.

Edward smiled at me, and I knew it was a smile to pacify me. "It can't be that bad."

But it was. Edward had been wrong.

As if it wasn't bad enough watching Edward come home dismayed for the next 4 days, the fifth day hadn't been fruitless. Edward had been a hired as an office clerk by none other than Aro Volturi.

It was worse than any nightmare I had ever had. Aro had quite expertly manipulated the other companies, effectively preventing them from giving Edward a job. The cost was simple, giving a job to Edward meant being banished from Aro's prosperous business empire forever.

Edward hadn't stood a chance. I didn't know whether to be thankful or to cry in pain. The sheer cruelty of their relationship, whatever it was, scared me. It was degrading and spiteful on Aro's part, but heart-searingly painful on Edward's.

"Give it up!" I shouted in despair as Edward returned back home on his third day of work. "You don't need this job, Edward. We'll leave New York."

Edward shook his head at me, tired and defeated. "It's the only way I know, Bella," he said quietly, squeezing my hand. "It's late, get some sleep," he said, kissing my forehead before heading toward our room.

Franco lips tightened in anger as he stared at Edward's retreating back. Turning to him, I begged him with my eyes. "There must be something you can do?" I asked, tears of frustration crowding my eyes as I imagined all the verbal hell Aro was probably giving to Edward.

Franco stared at me sadly, "I'm sorry, Bella. My hands are tied, there's nothing I can do."

That wasn't the end of it. Not by far. A few days later, I was sitting out on the porch, waiting at midnight because Edward still wasn't home. I shuddered in the cold breeze that blew along the street.

A creak sounded against the gate, and I surged to my feet as Edward's dark figure stumbled in.

"Edward!" I shouted, running to help him. He laughed, raising his hand as I reached out.

"I'm fine," he slurred.

I stepped back, stung. He was drunk. Here I was waiting, worrying about him and he had been drinking away, not even thinking to call to let me know he was okay.

"You're drunk," I said, stating the obvious.

"Yes, I'm drunk. So very drunk," he said, tripping over his words. As he appeared under the porch light, I noticed he had split lip. My hand automatically rubbed over the bruised lip.

"What happened?" I asked, all the anger vanishing, replaced by nothing except immense worry.

Edward grasped my hand lightly, kissing my fingers. "You're so beautiful," he said, whispering the words against my fingers. My heart melted with sadness at his words. It was clear that he had gotten into a fight, but the Edward I knew would never initiate a brawl on his own.

No, this was all Aro's fault.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Edward?" I asked, my voice trembling with anguish of the past few days.

"Don't cry my beautiful girl," Edward whispered, his uncoordinated arms moving clumsily to embrace me.

"Don't do this to yourself, please," I said, shedding tears over him knowing well that he was beyond comprehension. He was losing control. And I was losing him.

And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

~x~x~x~x~

Edward had apologized profusely for his behavior. I had forgiven him of course. I couldn't blame him even though I wanted to. The coldness and bad blood in the family were responsible for his current situation. He had every right to resent them. It would be so much easier to deal with his anger.

I wished he was angry, mad, anything was better than this silent indifference. It was eating him alive, his frustration was being replaced by bleak acceptance. He had loved challenges, I had seen him in breathtaking authority, the sheer power of it mesmerizing all those around him, but that brightness was dimming with every passing day.

He pushed away his half eaten breakfast as he stood up. He smiled lightly at me, but all I saw were purple shadows under his eyes against his pale skin. I was amazed by his strength, or maybe it was his tenacity, his stubbornness. How taut could he let himself stretch before he would snap?

Coming around, he kissed my forehead. "I'll be late because of the office gathering tonight. Don't stay up waiting for me," he said, even though we both knew that wasn't going to happen.

That evening I came home to quiet house, Franco wasn't home because he was at work. I had felt slightly hurt that Edward hadn't asked me to join him tonight. However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It would be hard enough for him, a former CEO, to be present as an ordinary clerk. Add to it Aro's condescending nature and it was a recipe for disaster. I shuddered, hoping he wouldn't run into trouble tonight. The last thing he needed was for his wife to witness his humiliation.

Picking up a Kristin Hannah book, I crawled into a fluffy chair, settling in for another long night. A very unpleasant night by the looks of it, I thought, shuddering as the rain and thunder began to brew a storm.

Around 10 p.m., the phone rang. I rushed to pick it up. "Hello?" I said, feeling my heart beating against my chest.

"Bella, it's Tanya." Her voice was slightly frantic, my breath quickened as I thought of the man we both loved.

"Edward's in trouble. You need to go pick him up from Roosvelt Hotel at the corner of Madison Avenue."

"What? Why…why didn't he call?" I stumbled over my words, confusion, anger, fear, worry fighting inside me.

"I don't know, Bella. I can't make it, I'm out of city. I can't be there. Go get him," she said hoarsely, and I realized that her feelings for Edward were still etched deep.

I hung up without another word. I dragged on my coat over my knee-length nightgown, rushing outside. I froze at the scene in front of me, freezing rain in a dark night. I clawed at my hair, the memories fighting to rise to the surface.

I cried out in pain, in agony, in sheer desperation…how much could I endure? Where did my misgivings end? Pushing my hand into the closet, I grabbed an umbrella, running out the house.

I tried to hail a cab but it was pointless, the weather was too harsh. I clenched and relaxed my hands against the umbrella handle, a useless exercise to calm myself. Perhaps there was someone up in the heavens and a cab mercifully stopped. Steeling myself, I scooted in, my heart beating a fast tattoo in fear of getting in the cab with an unknown stranger.

To my surprise, the driver was a young, pretty dark woman. "Where are we going, sista?" She asked and I took a deep cleansing breath.

"Roosevelt hotel," I said, wiping both the rain and tears from my face.

"Bad boyfriend?" The driver asked with pity in her eyes.

I shook my head, unable to say anything as I clung to my collar trying to ease my breathing.

Just as I stepped outside the cab, Edward fell face first near my feet.

"Edward," I cried, getting down on my knees to help him. My heart stopped as I began to fear that he had begun to drink again.

"Bella," Edward said, his eyes staring at me in bewilderment. He was sober, perhaps that hurt even more. His face was bruised, bloodied, a black shadow blooming around one of his eyes.

"You shouldn't have come," Edward said sadly, getting up but his clothes were dirty, his pants torn on one of the knees.

Then, one person I never expected to see, stepped out from the shadows, Rosalie. She was glamorous, dazzling as always…but still malicious. Her ruby red lips curved up in a wicked smile.

"Bella." She said sweetly. Edward turned and glared at her, "Rosalie not now," he said angrily, then more softly added, "Please."

She avoided his comment. "You know, Bella, I've always been envious of you. You've always been so good with Jazz, and then there was Edward," she said, letting out a short laugh.

Her voice turned low, a deadly whisper. "But now I pity you. You've lost Jazz already. And now you have this Edward," she paused, sending a demeaning smile towards Edward before she zeroed in on me.

"Even my PA earns more than him." She tsked and said, "What a shame."

I remained silent, her words were like spears against my heart. "It's a good thing you came here. Poor Edward," she said, running one red painted nail against his cheek, which he angrily shoved away. "He had to be kicked out for the brawl he was starting. Everyone knows what happens to those who mess with the boss." She laughed loudly, and it hurt so much, I dug my nails into my palm.

"Well, I better return. After all, the night is still young. I'd wish you both a good night but I know better," she said with faux sadness before disappearing through the door.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that," Edward said, his eyes low, his voice filled with shame.

Without a word, I began walking. Edward quickly caught up, grasping at my elbow.

"Stop. You're getting soaked." Shrugging out of his grasp, I continued to walk, the rain saturating through my coat and nightgown.

"I'm so sorry" he said, repentant. "Bella, please, you hate nights with rain. Please stop, I'll call a cab."

I didn't say anything, and continued to walk. He caught up, stepping in front of me, blocking my path. "Don't punish me like this, please," he said, his voice as pained as his eyes.

"And what about me, Edward?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes. "Don't you think it hurts me to see you doing this to yourself?"

"You're hurting me more than this rain ever could," I cried. "I'm in pain, Don't you see it, Edward?" I asked, clutching my throat. "I can't breathe. It hurts so much."

The tears and rain blurred my sight. Edward's trembling hands grasped my face. "Please don't cry, Bella," Edward said shakily.

Rendered unable to speak, I just shook my head as the tears streamed down my face.

"I'll- I'll do whatever you say. We'll leave New York. Just please, please stop crying," he said, his fingers shaking as he wiped my face. His battered, bruised face brought on a new string of tears. Tears for myself, tears for him, tears for all this unfairness.

"Maybe you were right. Maybe we just aren't meant to be," I cried, clamping a hand against my mouth to stop my sobs.

Edward looked agonized, pulling his hair with both his hands as though he couldn't quite understand what to do. Tears glittered in his eyes as he grasped the meaning of my words.

He suddenly dropped to his knees, grasping my thighs with his arms, pressing his face against my thighs. He didn't care that it was freezing, and the rain was pounding hard on us. His voice was hoarse with emotion when he spoke next, his words so strong that I nearly staggered with their force.

"Please don't do this, Bella. I can't let you go," he said brokenly, "I love you far too much."

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**A/N:** So there, yes, that was probably the worst of the angst. In case you forgot, Rosalie was Jazz's sister, she's always had a strained relationship with him and she has always wanted to be with Edward. Franco works for the Cullens and helped raise Edward.

Forgive for any business based mistakes, I really have no knowledge of how these things work**. I think we have about 5 more chapters to the end.**

If you read this, please do review. I love feedback. It always keeps me going. Thanks for reading guys! See you soon.


	29. Chapter 27 – Stunning Revelations

**A/N: Thanks for the warm welcome guys. I'm truly amazed by how many of you are still reading this! A lot of you have been asking for E's back story. I didn't want to reveal it yet because it would be angst overload, but I changed my mind based on your feedback. A big thanks to Mels for pre-reading this. **

**So here's the next angsty chapter - brace yourselves…this is it.**

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**Recap:** _He suddenly dropped to his knees, grasping my thighs with his arms, pressing his face against my thighs. He didn't care that it was freezing, and the rain was pounding hard on us. His voice was hoarse with emotion when he spoke next, his words so strong that I nearly staggered with their force._

"_Please don't do this, Bella. I can't let you go," he said brokenly, "I love you far too much."_

**Chapter 27 – Stunning Revelations**

After weeks of Edward's silence, tonight was different. Tonight it was me that was quiet. Edward kept murmuring, apologizing as we walked through the heavy rain, but all his pleas fell on silent ears.

My mind held me back as I contemplated the basis of our relationship. Had the lines become blurred somewhere along the way, I asked myself. Had I confused my gratitude for Edward's support as affection? Had Edward's fierce need for protecting me been mistaken for love?

I turned towards him, watching him through the sheets of rain and knew right then that I was definitely not mistaken. Even with his dark hair matted against his forehead and his face bruised, he was so beautiful; it hurt to just look at him. I felt my heart break as deep green eyes full of self-doubt and guilt stared at me. Gone was the Edward who silenced people with just one look.

His lashes, wet with rain, lowered, as he turned his face away, so all I could see was the bruised side of his face. I pressed my lips as Edward's humiliation burned like a hot flame in my core.

All because of Aro, I thought as I silently glared through the rain. That thought alone made me stop abruptly in front of the Franco's house, and I dug my heels as Edward pulled on my hand.

He turned back, his face confused and weary with exhaustion. His eyes questioned my sudden hesitance.

"I need to know," I said while staring into his eyes.

And then I pulled my hand back.

Edward took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he opened his eyes, they were tired.

"Don't make me do this today."

"I want answers, Edward. This time I'm not backing down," I said, standing my ground even though it hurt to push him like this. But deep down I knew that if I didn't push him today, he would never tell me.

He turned away from me, his back muscles straining through his white shirt as he gripped his wet hair.

"You don't want to hear this, Bella. You're not ready," he paused then turned back around, his face suddenly vulnerable. "No, it's not you. It's me. I'm…I'm not ready," he said.

I couldn't help but think of him as a child with his hair messed from constantly pulling on them, his face open and fearful.

"If you can't tell me then you'll have to let me go," I said, my voice breaking as the words slipped from my lips.

Edward cringed slightly, shutting his eyes as though he was in pain. Perhaps some would say I should have given more time, given him the opportunity to tell me. But this was what was holding both of us back. I had reached my limit…I needed to know.

When he looked up at me, his eyes were fathomless. His jaw clenched as anger hardened his features. He whipped a cigarette out, lighting it and taking a deep drag.

My heart started to beat heavily in my chest. This was it. He was finally going to tell me.

"Elizabeth was raped."

Whatever I expected, it was never those words. I stumbled back, my back hitting the wall behind.

"Shocked?" Edward asked with a mocking smile, his face dark with hatred. "So was Aro. Want to guess who my father really was, Bella?"

I felt sick as a bout of nausea hit me.

"That's right, Bella. It was the rapist. The bastard got away, but he left me in his wake," he said harshly.

"Elizabeth had been in the middle of planning her wedding to Aro when it happened. And just like that, everything got destroyed," he said, his voice suddenly filled with sadness. "Remember that picture in my apartment? It was taken ten days before the incident."

He was quiet for a few moments, exhaling the smoke through his nose such that he was immersed in a white cloud, making him appear untouchable. Feeling strangely weak, I supported myself on the bench in front of the house, clasping the cool metal. Mercifully, the rain had stopped.

"It wouldn't have been so bad if Elizabeth hadn't been pregnant with me. Aro was supportive, but he wouldn't allow his future wife to have someone else's bastard child."

Edward let out a laugh although it was hoarse. I looked over his tortured face as he continued.

"It boggles my mind. I still can't figure out why she decided to keep me. It was a stupid mistake, she destroyed her life," he said spitefully.

"It was because she loved you," I said softly.

His head snapped up instantly, and he straightened from the wall he was leaning against. His fists clenched in fury. "No," he said with anger and pain in his eyes. "Elizabeth never loved me. She hated me."

"That's not true," I protested against my better sense, "No mother could ever hate her child."

"Wrong!" He said contemptuously, eyes blazing. "It's easy for you to say. Wouldn't you have felt the same way if you were in her place?" He asked, challenging.

"I have already been in her place," I said sternly, angrily looking at him. "That was a low blow, Edward."

"Fuck!" He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, "I didn't mean it like that. All this shit always gets the best of me. "

"What happened then?" I asked, suddenly desperate to hear more.

"What else could have happened? Francine insisted that Elizabeth have an abortion, but Elizabeth refused. In rebellion, she changed her last name to Masen. A few months later, she gave birth to me, and Aro retaliated by calling off their engagement."

"She wasn't a good mother, but then I would have never expected her to be. The family, too, never completed accepted me," he said quietly. "When I was a child, it really hurt. It started out in little ways, Francine's ever-present glare or family get-togethers where I was left behind. I couldn't understand the animosity against me. After all, I never had a mother who would reassure me at night."

"When did you find out?" I asked, wiping the tears on my cheeks.

"I was ten," he said, his voice distant, "I didn't even know what bastard meant. I just knew that I was one," he said bitterly, "I overheard Aro talking with Elizabeth. He had come to our house. I'll never forget the way she cried that night. When she noticed me standing in the corridor, she gave me this look. And I knew right then that she hated me, that she regretted giving birth to me. I had destroyed her life."

"Things changed after that. I was no longer the child hungering for his mother's affection. I hated her just as much as she hated me," he said venomously.

"Franco started working for Elizabeth as her right hand man. Somewhere along the way, he became a fatherly figure for me," Edward said, smiling faintly. "Always picking up the pieces when things went wrong," he said, shaking his head.

"I became a dare-devil, pulling dangerous stunts because I got high on the adrenaline rush. But it aggravated Elizabeth like hell. Maybe that was why it thrilled me because I thought she cared," he said sadly.

"I never thought things would end the way they did. One day we got into a harsh argument about my behavior. She said she was sorry that she had given birth me. You see, Elizabeth never yelled, she just said what she wanted to so calmly that it always hit harder than it would if she would have shouted."

"I told her that she was a sorry excuse for a mother. I told her that I was sorry I was born, and that maybe she should have aborted me while she could. She went all quiet and I left because I couldn't stand the sight of her." Edward became quiet, drawing in a deep breath.

"That was the last time I saw her. She committed suicide right after I left."

I drew in a sharp breath as my eyes flew to Edward. Edward's eyes were red, wet with tears.

"And now I'll always have to live with the fact that it was my fault."

I got up and went to him, wrapping myself around him, hugging him tightly to me.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled against his wet shirt.

"You know what hurt more, Bella? She never included me in her will. I don't care about the money, but it hurt that she had practically disowned me."

"Shhh," I hushed, dragging my fingers through his unruly hair as he rested his forehead against my shoulder.

Taking his hand, I guided him inside the house. Once inside, I pulled out a chair for him before grabbing towels for us. I placed a towel in front of Edward as I used one to dry my hair and body.

"How did you start working for Masen & Cullen's corp?" I asked, frowning at the towel that sat untouched in front of Edward.

Edward smiled but it was without humor. "Ironically, it was Francine that wanted me to start working for Masen and Cullens. Alice and Emmett weren't interested in working for the company. In fact, neither was I. I always wanted to become a pianist, but she guilted me into it, making me think that it was the least I owed the family for paying for my education," he said, shaking his head.

"I was bright and did well at school. After graduating, I started working for Francine and soon she promoted me to CEO. And everything was going well until…" he trailed off, looking in the distance.

"Until I came into the picture," I said, my fingers clenching in the towel as a horrible realization began to dawn.

"And Aro found out about what happened to you. He tried to put the blame on me. Not only that, he tried to churn up the media about some background deal that we were trying to pull behind Lauren and Tyler's company. That man is one sick fuck," Edward said spitefully, glaring down at the table but failing to notice my expression.

Pressing my back against the wall, I try to calm myself knowing I was just being silly for my thoughts. Voice trembling, I began.

"Edward…you don't blame yourself for Elizabeth's death anymore…do you?"

Slightly alarmed by my voice, he looked up. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, getting up, his face creasing with worry.

"Answer me!"

He began to reach for me, but I stepped back abruptly. Feeling dread come over me, I stared at him.

"What is this about? Of course, I blame myself for it, Bella. If I hadn't said what I did, she would still be alive."

He was quiet, then staring at me directly, he said. "I know it was my fault, Bella. It'll always be. My whole existence destroyed her life. And I can never forget that."

"You can't forgive yourself?" I whispered. "Is that why you married me?" I asked, clenching my fists as despair washed over me.

"Did you think that by helping a raped woman you would be able to lessen your guilt? That maybe Elizabeth would forgive you?"

Edward paled, stepping forward, reaching towards me.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted as angry tears began to run down my face. "Do I look like a fucking charity case to you, Edward _Masen_?"

He pulled back as though he had been slapped. I moved forward, grasping his wet shirt.

"Is there a sticker on my head that says 'atonement'? Did you ever think?" I cried as I shook him. "Did you ever for a minute think what it would do to me when I found that the man I was marrying…" my voice wavered, "…was marrying me because he feels some misplaced sense of guilt?"

"Fuck, Bella. It wasn't like that!" Edward protested, touching my trembling shoulders. It didn't matter what he said, I was beyond hearing.

"Shut up!" I shouted, pushing him away. I pushed my fists against my eyes as tears seeped uninhibited. How could things have ever gone so wrong?

"Listen to me, Bella," he shouted, aggravated. "That was never a reason! I married you because I wanted to, not because I felt guilty. It was the only way I could help you!"

"It doesn't matter what you were thinking," I said shaking my head, still feeling overwhelmed but slightly calmer.

"All your life you felt that you destroyed Elizabeth's life. To you it was a chance," I said sadly, "By protecting me from exposure, you were seeking redemption for a sin you had never committed."

Edward clenched his fists, "I swear, Bella, it was never like that. I wouldn't marry you for that. I wanted you."

I shook my head morosely, it didn't matter what he thought. His sense of guilt was so deep that he didn't even realize it was influencing his decisions in life. I realized that I couldn't blame him. His mind was conditioned in such a way right from the start.

"Oh Edward, what have you done? You don't marry someone just because you can't forgive yourself or because you feel that you deserve to be punished," I said sadly, regretting what I was going to say next.

"Look," he said, grasping my shoulders firmly, "forget everything I said. Forget everything that's happened. We'll move away, take a new start. Start a new page in life," he said earnestly, hope glimmering brightly in his green glassy eyes.

I hated that I had to be the one to break the dreams in his eyes. Maybe he could forget, but I would never be able to.

Besides, Edward deserved someone normal; not someone with so much emotional baggage. He deserved someone who didn't freak out at the thought of making love. He deserved to be able to live without guilt, to be able to choose his significant other without thinking of ways of pleasing his deceased mother.

I knew he might never get those things with me. After all, marriages shouldn't be based on sacrifices or guilt. They should be built on love.

Our marriage was a sacrifice and would always be one.

And I couldn't bear to live with that.

Looking up in to those bright green eyes, I forced myself to say the words that would change our destiny.

"I think we need a break, Edward."

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**A/N: I know…I'm sorry…it was always the back-story. You guys asked for it! **

**Don't feel disheartened, I promise things will look better soon. I am dying to hear what you guys have to say about this chapter – I was very apprehensive about posting it, I almost didn't want to post it. **

**Feel free to leave suggestions….trust me, it definitely influences what I write. Thanks for reading!**


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